Subscribe"And how fucking dare anyone out there make fun of hipsters! After all they've been through! They got HERPES!!!
Clues You Are a Hipster
1. You graduated from a liberal arts school whose football team hasn't won a game since the Reagan administration.
2. You frequently use the term 'postmodern' (or its commonly used variation 'PoMo') as an adjective, noun, and verb.
3. You carry a shoulder-strap messenger bag and have at one time or another worn a pair of horn-rimmed or Elvis Costello-style glasses.
4. You have refined taste and consider yourself exceptionally cultured, but have one pop vice (ElimiDATE, Quiet Riot, and Entertainment Weekly are popular ones) that helps to define you as well-rounded.
5.You have kissed someone of the same gender and often bring this up in casual conversation.
6. You spend much of your leisure time in bars and restaurants with monosyllabic names like Plant, Bound, and Shine.
7. You bought your dishes and a checkered tablecloth at a thrift shop to be kitschy, and often throw vegetarian dinner parties.
8. You have one Republican friend whom you always describe as being your 'one Republican friend.'
9. You enjoy complaining about gentrification even though you are responsible for it yourself.
10. Your hair looks best unwashed and you position your head on your pillow at night in a way that will really maximize your cowlicks.
11. You own records put out by Matador, DFA, Dischord, Warp, Thrill Jockey, Smells Like Records, Saddle Creek, and Drag City."
12. You have downloaded R. Stevie Moore videos and have attempted to enjoy them.
Clues You Are Not a Hipster
1. You teach Sunday school.
2. You use hair spray and wear pleated pants or pastel dress suits.
3. You are a big fan of the suburbs and vinyl siding.
4. You have a special 'spill shirt' that you wear when you eat dinner at night.
5. You like to watch college football.
6. You read novels with raised lettering on their covers.
7. You eat at Popeye's on a regular basis.
8. You listen to the Dave Matthews Band while driving in your SUV.
9. You wear holiday-themed sweaters with Santa Clauses, jack-o'-lanterns, and snowflake patterns knitted onto them.
10. You work in an office building that has a man-made pond and a fountain in its front lot.
11. You consider Jim Breuer to be a comic genius.
12. You know nothing of R. Stevie Moore and would not listen to him given the opportunity.
...trying to articulate the sense of desperation that smart young people feel in a society where intellect is devalued and denigrated and where the opportunity to express oneself and live a life of one's own making is severely curtailed...
Smoke some fags and play some pool,
pretend you never went to school.
But still you'll never get it right,
cos when you're laid in bed at night,
watching roaches climb the wall,
if you call your Dad he could stop it all.
You'll never live like common people,
you'll never do what common people do,
you'll never fail like common people,
you'll never watch your life slide out of view,
and dance and drink and screw,
because there's nothing else to do.
Sing along with the common people,
sing along and it might just get you through,
laugh along with the common people,
laugh along even though they're laughing at you,
and the stupid things that you do.
Because you think that poor is cool.
« Older Evil Bee... | Maz Jobrani Iranian Stand Up C... Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by tkchrist at 10:05 AM on November 8, 2007 [2 favorites]