Comments on: Vintage Vertiginous Vaudevillian

Vintage Vertiginous Vaudevillian

tellurian — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:09:49 -0800

Ben Dova the Drunk Daredevil, contortionist, Hindenburg survivor and one of the 10 most unfortunately named people on the internets.

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:17:17 -0800

What? No Rudolf Lipschitz?

By: East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94

East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:18:11 -0800

The academic Dream Team, featuring Professor Chew Shit Fun

By: East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94

East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:19:48 -0800

and Dr. Anil Kumar Dikshit who basically tops everything.

By: recursion

recursion — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:24:02 -0800

There was a Ben Dover in my high school. I really can't imagine what his parents were thinking. I can only hope they didn't realize what they were doing.

By: patricio

patricio — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:25:39 -0800

Dr Dikshit is mentioned in that last link - just next to Sally Mangina.

By: mattoxic

mattoxic — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:25:45 -0800

Dang, I really wish my old neighbour would get a myspace/facebook/smokinggun profile. Ophelia Dick

By: East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94

East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:28:10 -0800

patricio, that's a different Dikshit. My Dikshit is Anil Dikshit.

By: patricio

patricio — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:33:34 -0800

My apologies! Correct identification of Dikshits is important. I blame hippie parents.

By: freshwater_pr0n

freshwater_pr0n — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:33:45 -0800

There's an insurance salesman in SF named Dick Pricker. And I once worked with Mike Hunt. (Say it out loud.)

By: Flashman

Flashman — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:41:05 -0800

Well, the UK School Secretary is an old ally of G. Brown's named Ed Balls. I can't help but giggle very time I hear his name on the radio. It's a name that should only be preceded by 'veteran funnyman'.

By: MythMaker

MythMaker — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:43:24 -0800

Dr. Dick Chopp the urologist is pretty funny.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:43:39 -0800

Since 1981, Dr. Tits has been with the University of Maryland, College Park.

By: Pecinpah

Pecinpah — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:45:24 -0800

I work with a guy named Ryan Adair Dick. I went to high school with two brothers named Garren and Warren. Their last name was Teed (no shit. Sutherlin, OR).

By: psmealey

psmealey — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:48:15 -0800

Is Mike Hunt here?

By: vronsky

vronsky — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:49:16 -0800

I knew a guy whose last name was Cowherd, pronounced "coward" so he changed his name to Dr. Gray. I read somewhere that a lot of people who change their names because they are embarrasing choose colors like gray or brown or white. Not sure if it is true though, but it always make me wonder what their real name was when I meet someone with one of those surnames.

By: porn in the woods

porn in the woods — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:50:01 -0800

I'm Tom Mehoff, I'm looking for my brother Jack, is he there?

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:52:54 -0800

Dikshit & Asstes Dikshit & Co Deep Dikshit Dr. Strange

By: empath

empath — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:03:53 -0800

When I was in High School, we had a Michael Hunt (Mike) that was in student government. He got called down to the office over the intercom about once a week or so, which led to much hilarity during homeroom.

By: empath

empath — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:11:34 -0800

Do you think Dr Chopp agonized over his career choice at all?

By: puke & cry

puke & cry — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:11:45 -0800

There's an insurance agent in my town named Lee King. Also, I used to know a guy named Don Loser. Which is more sad than funny. He pronounced it differently but still.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:12:15 -0800

Once knew a kid named Wayne. Last name Dwop. Yeah... he changed schools a lot. Also used to do secretarial work for a company with a client named Hang Bang Wang. Every time I typed his name I laughed.

By: sy

sy — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:14:19 -0800

I know a professor whose office library includes books of theology, political philosophy, and ornithology. Whenever I'm visiting and he turns his back I combine books from each of these disciplines to create a fourth object of study: Honest to God Leviathan British Tits. Maybe you have to be there.

By: F Mackenzie

F Mackenzie — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:18:02 -0800

I've always been found of Dick Trickle.

By: Dillonlikescookies

Dillonlikescookies — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:18:17 -0800

anita bone (scroll down)

By: F Mackenzie

F Mackenzie — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:18:24 -0800

fond, anyway.

By: rob511

rob511 — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:19:04 -0800

I'm inclined to think I've met Ben's sister Eileen. (She was in a girl-group called the Eponyms ... with Barb Dwyer and Shanti Towne.)

By: nebulawindphone

nebulawindphone — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:21:36 -0800

I ran across a Woosevelt Dortilus a while back. Nothing obscene, but it sure is fun to say. Also a Trang Dang to go with lynnster's Hang Bang Wang. Apparently, though, that one's less funny in Vietnamese since they don't really rhyme — different tones.

By: nebulawindphone

nebulawindphone — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:22:29 -0800

She was in a girl-group called the Eponyms What did they call their first album?

By: jbickers

jbickers — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:30:00 -0800

Don't forget jazz great Dick Hyman.

By: autodidact

autodidact — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:31:26 -0800

I played football with a guy named Richard Ramsbottom. That's right, Dick Rams Bottom was the guy's fucking name! I also have a bro-in-law last name of Little, who has a friend last name Dick. They belong to the same golf club and when they are paired in an event, the sign on their cart says "Little / Dick" which cracks up everyone.

By: champthom

champthom — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:34:19 -0800

When I went to the Pentagon on a tour, I was told there was a Navy Seaman stationed as a tour guide named Maximus Cummings. Seriously. That was on the tour I went on when I was in Air Force JROTC back in high school, where the head of it was an Air Force colonel by the name of Weiner.

By: ericb

ericb — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:35:25 -0800

I went to summer camp with Justin Case.

By: ericb

ericb — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:36:04 -0800

Navy Seaman stationed as a tour guide named Maximus Cummings. Seriously. Ah, so he was of the seamen on the poop deck?

By: Samizdata

Samizdata — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:37:26 -0800

Well, I did know three brothers my stepfather used to teach - Hermin... Thermin... and... (wait for it...) (wait for it...) Vermin. I've also known a Harry Dick (parents said they would have named a daughter Sharon), a Clifford Leeper, a Crystal Chandra Lear, as well as three sibling, Truly Gold, Shirley Silver, and Justin Copper... There's more, but those are the highlights...

By: autodidact

autodidact — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:37:39 -0800

Oh yeah I also worked at a private golf club where the head chef's name was Werner Rost. Naturally everyone called him "weenie roast", not the nickname a chef wants.

By: nebulawindphone

nebulawindphone — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:38:47 -0800

Oh, and Doctor Beaglehole. Too many dogfuckers are totally indiscriminate when it comes to breed. It's good to hear from a guy who's willing to get specific.

By: MiltonRandKalman

MiltonRandKalman — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:44:53 -0800

I had a classmate in High School named Mike Hawk. I think because his parents were Canadian they didn't know any better.

By: nylon

nylon — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:44:56 -0800

Randy Bender vs Dick Gaylord. My sister went to school with a guy called Ty Alan Down. She also taught a kid called Crystal Shandle Lear, although neither of those two are rude, and therefore they're not that funny.

By: Joey Michaels

Joey Michaels — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:53:27 -0800

My high school friend's dad was named "Harold Butts."

By: HyperBlue

HyperBlue — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:55:30 -0800

Wha? No Dick Trickle?

By: HyperBlue

HyperBlue — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:57:22 -0800

Sorry, F Mackenzie guess I should RTFT before commehnting

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 17:03:56 -0800

Ahhh, Dick Trickle. Always a fave. I used to work with a really nice woman named Crystal Lemon. I was always strangely thirsty around her.

By: quin

quin — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 17:17:26 -0800

My mother had a student with a name which was pronounced Lee-mun-geel-oh. All well and good till you saw how it was spelled: Lemon Jello.

By: IcyJuly

IcyJuly — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 17:20:38 -0800

I went to a dentist in Seattle named Anita Fok. This was the only online reference I could quickly find for her (fourth down on left). I was never sure how to say her last name. Good thing you don't have to talk a lot when you're at the dentist anyway.

By: quin

quin — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 17:20:54 -0800

Also: I need to add 'Drunk Daredevil' to my list of things that I want printed on business cards.

By: pombe

pombe — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 17:31:28 -0800

There are professors where I work with last names of Johnson, Cox, and Weiner. There was a a good skit about them forming a superhero trio with penis-logo capes.

By: oncogenesis

oncogenesis — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 17:39:33 -0800

Wasn't there recently an FTC commissioner by the name of Fraud?

By: Tube

Tube — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 17:49:57 -0800

My mother had a student with a name which was pronounced Lee-mun-geel-oh. All well and good till you saw how it was spelled: Lemon Jello. The tale needs to include Lemonjello's brother Orangejello. Quickly getting into Snopes material here.

By: bunnytricks

bunnytricks — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 18:02:14 -0800

There's a firm called Hood, Pagan and Associates across the river in West Memphis.

By: Phlogiston

Phlogiston — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 18:02:55 -0800

There's a Mrs. Bird Brane buried in a cemetery in Patchogue, New York. I can only assume she married for love.

By: stavrogin

stavrogin — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 18:04:01 -0800

The Car Talk credits.

By: puke & cry

puke & cry — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 18:16:55 -0800

Yeah, I'm wondering how many of you are just making these up. Especially the two different people that knew Crystal Shandle Lear.

By: puke & cry

puke & cry — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 18:18:47 -0800

Or shandra or whatever.

By: bunnytricks

bunnytricks — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 18:34:41 -0800

Oh, and Harry Rectanus.

By: quin

quin — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 18:55:35 -0800

Quickly getting into Snopes material here. That's awesome! Because I actually didn't believer her either, so she brought home her printed attendance sheet to prove me wrong. Which means that someone heard about this legend, and named their kid it anyways (or my mom faked her attendance sheet, which I suppose is also possible.) I did go to school with a kid named Rusty Ford. He was pretty cool. (And drove a Chevy if I recall correctly.)

By: Dormant Gorilla

Dormant Gorilla — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 19:13:53 -0800

I went to high school with a guy called Sal(vatore) Minella. The owner of my old laundromat was Long Fuk, and through work I met a man called Dr. Cuppy Booty. Doctor, mind you.

By: patricio

patricio — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 19:54:25 -0800

I was pleased to have business dealings with Sandy Seymour-Pusey in the Caymans.

By: drleary

drleary — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 19:58:51 -0800

Growing up, a boss my dad had was named Dusty Rhodes.

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 20:10:10 -0800

My dad dated a psycho hillbilly named Amy Dangler. Her father is Harry Dangler.

By: tellurian

tellurian — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 20:33:23 -0800

So, how was that stunt on the Chanin Building, amazing, yeah?

By: Samizdata

Samizdata — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 20:45:17 -0800

puke and cry - Gosh, thanks for doubting my personal life, puke and cry, especially as the Lear family (as in Lear Jet) ALSO decided to name their daughter Shanda (Warning PDF link from Montana state government)... I just bet you have a strong stomach and dry eyes... Tellurian - Speaking of the earlier portion of this post, I felt deeply unnerved. DEEPLY. As in Dramamine unnerved.

By: ODiV

ODiV — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 20:57:03 -0800

Wow do I ever get annoyed reading Snopes. I don't go there to read some preachy pseudo-psychological reasoning for a stupid story's existance. Just tell me if something actually happened or not. Snopes' desire to explain the mindsets of the myths' creators is clearly due to the lack of attention its writers received as children.

By: Fuzzy Monster

Fuzzy Monster — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 21:59:20 -0800

This thread instantly made me think of Ima Hogg.

By: Sam.Burdick

Sam.Burdick — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 22:12:05 -0800

When I was a kid in summercamp one of my bunkmates was thinking of being an OBGYN. Granted we were around middle-school age at that point.... his name was Mark Heimann

By: Henry C. Mabuse

Henry C. Mabuse — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 02:09:56 -0800

My real name is Tom-Tom Mancock. Pronounced Man-Coe.

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 02:13:10 -0800

Quickly getting into Snopes material here. From said Snopes page: Some Legendary Names: Mark Lemongello -- A pitcher for the Houston Astros in the 1970s. I did like this bit though: My friend R.B. Jones doesn't have a first or middle name — only the initials R.B. This unusual arrangement was never a problem until he went to work for a government agency. The government is not accustomed to initialed employees, so R.B. had a lot of explaining to do. On the official forms for the payroll and personnel departments, his name was carefully entered as R (Only) B (Only) Jones. Sure enough, when R.B. got his pay check, it was made out to Ronly Bonly Jones.

By: Goofyy

Goofyy — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 02:45:40 -0800

Ben Dover, I'll drive. My favorite name was some guy on public radio. Can't recall if he was from National, or a Wisconsin station (mid 1990's). His name was pronounced Wah Feek I You. Nothing at all wrong with that! But geez, how many times do people respond with "Well, fuck you too!"? It just sounds kind of required, you know? As for Dr. Strange, I've a friend named Strange, and he has a PhD.

By: pax digita

pax digita — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 02:48:52 -0800

I swear to Google, when I was a file clerk at a hospital, there was a male patient Farris Wheeler. At a school where my ex was teaching when we met (Hartsville, SC) one student was a Lemonjello somebody-or-other. Bill Lear's daughter's name was Shanda.

By: Locative

Locative — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 03:29:12 -0800

I knew a soy researcher in college named Robin Swindle.

By: snarkywench

snarkywench — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 03:34:53 -0800

There's a disturbing lack of Gaye Males in this thread.

By: 999

999 — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 04:52:41 -0800

We obviously can't go without mentioning Ufuk Uras, the Turkish politician.

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 05:42:43 -0800

Ram Dass

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 11:24:53 -0800

Samson Dutch Boy Gym is a famous Thai boxer.

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 11:36:29 -0800

I went to high school with a guy called Sal(vatore) Minella. Friends of mine have a son, Sam and a daughter Ella. Sam and Ella. I think they're tired of me always asking: "Where's E. Coli?"

By: the cydonian

the cydonian — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 20:13:36 -0800

My flatmate doesn't use a surname. When he went to the US, apparently his visa read something like:

First Name: Kiran^*
Last Name: LNU _{(Last Name Unavailable)}

Took him a while to understand why people were calling him Mr Lnu. ("Oh hi, Mr... say, how do you pronounce your last name?") Also, Dikshit isn't, well, I'd say it a surname that merely has an unfortunate transliteration. In fact, it's pronounced as deeeksheet. Then again, that's a problem with just about all the names here, isn't it. -- _{* - Not his real name.}