March 29, 2001
2:50 PM   Subscribe

Cuz you never know, when you might find yourself wanting to bone a dolphin. Found on Losers.org.
posted by PWA_BadBoy (20 comments total)
 
wow. huh. uuuummm..... I...oh never mind.
posted by bradth27 at 2:54 PM on March 29, 2001


The jpeg at the top is titled yum.jpg.

I actually read the whole thing. very weird but, as described, completely consentual. The guy certainly has an odd taste, but he's not forcing himself on any fish, so I don't really have a problem with it. How many delphanic zoophiles are out there, I wonder?
posted by Awol at 3:14 PM on March 29, 2001


intercourse with a porpoise is a dream for me
hellbent on creatin' a new species



From "Nobody Weird Like Me", Red Hot Chili Peppers, Mother's Milk. Apparently, someone else is that weird.
posted by gimli at 3:25 PM on March 29, 2001


...and now we know why they're called blowholes.

[ducks and runs]
posted by anildash at 3:34 PM on March 29, 2001


Jesus christ. This is too much for me. I just hope it isn't my neighbor.
posted by a3matrix at 3:46 PM on March 29, 2001


Why? Do you have pet dolphins?
posted by Neb at 4:10 PM on March 29, 2001 [1 favorite]


I wuz gonna say the blowholes joke. Then I decided I didn't feel like it. Now I wish I would've.
posted by sonofsamiam at 4:13 PM on March 29, 2001


When I first read it, I thought "hey, having a prehensile penis could be cool."

Now I'm wondering what it'd be useful for...
posted by billybunny at 4:32 PM on March 29, 2001


Fucking around?
posted by rodii at 4:46 PM on March 29, 2001


Getting your keys out of deep pockets.
posted by webmutant at 4:52 PM on March 29, 2001


One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one-night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.

That's really sweet.
posted by jennyb at 5:08 PM on March 29, 2001


You think a dolphin's prehensile prick is something? Think about some larger sea mammals... Yes sir, prehensile *and* it weighs more than you do.

The things you can learn in museums these days...
posted by whatnotever at 5:50 PM on March 29, 2001


Carl Sagan (!) may have been the first mainstream author to write about this. He talked about an experience meeting dolphins where one kept ... um ... making a pass at him. There was this sensation of a dolphin body sliding by, and then a bump ...

Apparently people who work with dolphins have known about it, they just don't talk about it much.
posted by dhartung at 5:54 PM on March 29, 2001


And here I thought watersports were an entirely different event. Glad this is cleared up.
posted by OZ at 5:59 PM on March 29, 2001


This was linked to from Memepool recently. (Yes, sometimes I follow freaky links from Memepool. You do too.) Except it was on a site with other like-minded scary essays, not on its own domain, and there was no ad or cute photo. This repurposing (aka theft) looks like an attempt to get one of those viral things going in order to generate some ad revenue. And we know how lucrative ad revenue can be nowadays...
posted by davidfg at 7:05 PM on March 29, 2001


And for when you can't get the real thing...
posted by CrayDrygu at 7:53 PM on March 29, 2001


I believe that site is connected somehow to goatse.cx

I didn't link that because your life is never the same after you see that image. Hide the kids, make a tiny browser window. You've been warned.
posted by owillis at 10:25 PM on March 29, 2001


Well, slashdot trolls do trick people into dolphinsex aswell as goatsex.
posted by holloway at 3:49 AM on March 30, 2001


owillis: No connection to goat-boy. I don't actually know the person who wrote that page, but I'm at least familiar with him, and I can vouch for its authenticity.

Everything outside of the actual content, however -- the layout, the pictures, the domain name -- aren't his doing. The original version is just a text file, IIRC.

davidfg: I don't know what the intent behind this reporpoising (pun intended) was, but it's been around for a few years. So if it was an attempt at generating a viral meme, it didn't succeed very well. Yet, anyway.
posted by CrayDrygu at 6:50 AM on March 30, 2001


sonofsamiam: I've been holding onto the blowhole joke since this thing was on MemePool. I earned it!
posted by anildash at 6:54 AM on March 30, 2001


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