Comments on: Your Underground Real Estate Agent©

Your Underground Real Estate Agent©

quonsar — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:01:46 -0800

"We buried our little gem under the for sale sign just like we were supposed to do. On October 4th, yes the 4th, just 24 hours after we buried him, we had a showing and after several counter-offers back and fourth, we finally signed a contract on October 19th!!!!! 7 months after the house was sitting and not getting any bites at all and after 1 day, its sold!!! I have complete and utter faith." America's desperate homesellers and realtors are turning to St. Joseph, Your Underground Real Estate Agent.

By: flatluigi

flatluigi — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:10:09 -0800

Original 4" St Joseph Statue Home Sales Kit - $9.95 Our Larger 8" St Joseph Statue Home Sales Kit - $13.95 The Book "St. Joseph, My Real Estate Agent" - $7.50 Paying for God's blessing - priceless.

By: stavrogin

stavrogin — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:11:02 -0800

I'm burying one of these in front of the Whitehouse.

By: hal9k

hal9k — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:11:09 -0800

Too bad. Gem was such a good dog.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:12:09 -0800

wall street journal has noted the trend.

By: wendell

wendell — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:12:56 -0800

I thought St. Joseph was the Patron Saint of Baby Aspirin.

By: DU

DU — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:13:59 -0800

Not in the market to sell your house? St Joseph also keeps away man-eating tigers. Never be bothered by tigers again!^¹ ¹Guarantee not valid in locations infested with tigers.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:15:52 -0800

Who wants to go in with me so we can get the quantity discount? $9.95 is a little rich for my blood.

By: wendell

wendell — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:16:00 -0800

I guess this finally answers the question "Are there any Christians in the real estate biz?" The answer being, no, they all pray to the Almighty Dollar.

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:16:10 -0800

From the Articles and Videos About St. Joseph and the Tradition: Wall Street Journal article: Cari Luna is Jewish by heritage and Buddhist by religion. She meditates regularly. Yet when she and her husband put their Brooklyn, N.Y., house on the market this year and offers kept falling through, Ms. Luna turned to an unlikely source for help: St. Joseph.... Some Realtors, too, swear by the practice. Ardell DellaLoggia, a Seattle-area Realtor, buried a statue beneath the "For Sale" sign on a property that she thought was overpriced. She didn't tell the owner until after it had sold. "He was an atheist," she explains. "But he thanked me." omg, the subprime fiasco has addled people's brains.

By: kitchenrat

kitchenrat — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:20:52 -0800

back and fourth?

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:22:44 -0800

I don't know if I've told this story on MeFi before, but I still think it's hilarious. You see, when my mother's partner sold her old house, she heard about the St. Joseph superstition and decided that it couldn't hurt, so she drove to a nearby Christian bookstore to get one. She asked the saleswoman if they had any statues of St. Joseph in stock, and was told: "Ma'am, this is a Christian bookstore. You need a Catholic bookstore."

By: nightchrome

nightchrome — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:25:21 -0800

By: The Deej

The Deej — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:27:31 -0800

In her book Fair Game, Valerie Plame Wilson says she buried a St. Joseph statue in her yard when she put her DC area home for sale in the wake of her outing.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:29:48 -0800

back and fourth? this is someone who thinks burying a plastic statue upside down in the yard caused a house to sell, and you expect correct spelling and grammar?

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:33:54 -0800

My brother did this. And his house sold within two days after being on the market for nine months. I wish this was a joke. I spent two days laughing at his superstition and making jokes about voodoo. Then his fucking house sold. Just like that. Swear to god.

By: growabrain

growabrain — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:36:47 -0800

"God bless those pagans"

By: quonsar

quonsar — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:37:46 -0800

"we'll throw the commission up in the air, and what St. Joseph wants, he'll keep..."

By: flarbuse

flarbuse — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:45:10 -0800

My wife did this at our house about six or so weeks ago. As my wife is not religious at all, I asked her if she was crazy as it was obviously just some superstition. "I don't care if it is superstitious. I'll try anything at this point. People pray for stuff all the time. What's the difference between praying for something and burying a statue?" "Ten dollars."

By: wendell

wendell — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:48:43 -0800

"Ten dollars." Same as in town.

By: John Kenneth Fisher

John Kenneth Fisher — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:54:50 -0800

What's the difference between praying for something and burying a statue?" "Ten dollars." On a completely unrelated side note, to this day, I respond to people who ask me "What's the difference between x and y?" with "We have cameras." I keep hoping one day I'll say it to someone who will get the reference. It's my little MeFi shibboleth I guess. Okay, sorry for the digression. Back to the show.

By: The Straightener

The Straightener — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:55:12 -0800

Bury it under you Bathtub Mary for extra magic.

By: dw

dw — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:55:50 -0800

I'm burying one of these in front of the Whitehouse. A week later, we'll either have Chinese tanks rolling up Pennsylvania Avenue, or they'll be mounting a sign on top saying "International White House of Pancakes." And we'll hunt you down either way.

By: photoslob

photoslob — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:04:14 -0800

stupid, stupid humans....

By: notreally

notreally — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:12:28 -0800

I wonder if it hasn't worked for anyone. Reminds me of all the people who come back from A.C. and tell how much they won. For a while I was afraid the casinos would all go out of business. But they didn't.

By: Kadin2048

Kadin2048 — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:19:46 -0800

That's nothing. I sacrificed a goat during our re-fi; you wouldn't imagine the rate we got. Swear to god.

By: Tesseractive

Tesseractive — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:20:58 -0800

I don't know anyone who this has worked for, but as a Catholic growing up in Michigan I sure heard this tradition talked about a lot. Kids even brought it up in school when we were learning about Saint Joseph (Catholic school of course). I do love syncretism...sincerely.

By: birdie birdington

birdie birdington — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:22:26 -0800

My grandmother and a lot of the other Jews I grew up around buried St. Joseph statues when I was a kid, likely gleaned from the very Italian Catholic neighborhood I grew up in. (Our houses didn't sell particularly fast, though the first one was sold to a family who put a virgin mary statue in the front yard.)

By: pompomtom

pompomtom — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:24:53 -0800

Idiots idiotic. Film at 11.

By: maryh

maryh — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:26:36 -0800

Wait a minute. I'm a severely lapsed Catholic, but I always thought St Joseph existed to find lost car keys, sort of like a supernatural clapper. How did I miss the real estate voodoo angle?

By: dhartung

dhartung — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:29:27 -0800

Which is the patron saint of login cookies? Because I could really use that one.

By: PareidoliaticBoy

PareidoliaticBoy — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:37:10 -0800

Notable by it's absence is the testimony from the tens of thousands who succumbed to the appeal of this low-rent magic, and yet subsequently failed to achieve any result. The propensity of the credulous to confuse cause and effect relies on our innate predisposition to selectively edit input from an otherwise overwhelming sea of data. The entire casino-industry's business model relies precisely on a gambler's tendency to recall and report successful ventures, while ignoring negative ones. The religious rackets are no different.

By: ericb

ericb — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:42:00 -0800

Oh, Jesus Fucking Christ On A Pogo Stick!

By: padraigin

padraigin — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:43:19 -0800

We tried it, even though we're both agnostic. The bottom fell out of the real estate market immediately, and we ended up renting the house out after it spent four months on the market. Oh well.

By: Reggie Digest

Reggie Digest — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:48:20 -0800

If only everyone would bury all their religious paraphernalia...

By: empath

empath — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:53:34 -0800

I'm a very lapsed Catholic, and an atheist, but I don't see anything wrong with this. It's like throwing salt over your shoulder when you spill it. Pointless, but who does it hurt? It makes you feel like you have some control over the uncontrollable.

By: padraigin

padraigin — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 21:25:46 -0800

Maybe I'm superstitious in spite of being reasonably certain there's no god, but I do think there's power in positive thinking, and that things like this (or feng shui, or praying with beads, meditating on objects, smudging your space, etc) can help you focus your energy in the right direction. And as empath says, about control: when you've done all you actually can do in a situation, it's nice to have a formal renunciation of your role in what happens next. Rituals are awesome that way. Even when they don't fucking work and you find yourself a reluctant landlord, which OBVIOUSLY the universe wanted you to be.

By: bwg

bwg — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 21:57:34 -0800

Oh, Jesus Fucking Christ On A Pogo Stick! Not possible. And no one would want a statue of it if it were.

By: Bora Horza Gobuchul

Bora Horza Gobuchul — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:10:11 -0800

Where's the harm? Someone's making thousands of dollars off this scam, to suckers who believe it will work for them. That's the harm. They're the same people who well sell cancer sufferers blessed water, the same people who will promise entrance to heaven if you tithe x amount. That's the harm. The timing of this is interesting, in that I was prognosticating social trends over peak oil a few days ago. One of them was increased church attendance. How long do you think it is until we get "wrapping this rosary aound your exhaust pipe will give you 50 miles to the gallon! I swear it's true!"

By: Pinback

Pinback — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:28:20 -0800

According to the site, St Joseph is patron saint "against doubt, cabinetmakers, Canada, carpenters, China, confectioners, craftsmen, dying people, engineers, families, fathers, happy death, holy death, house hunters, Korea, laborers, Mexico, New France, people in doubt, Peru, pioneers, protector of the Church, social justice, travellers, Universal Church, Vatican II, Viet Nam, workers, working people". That's a lot of things to be against. And what's he got against Canada, China, Korea, Mexico, New France, Peru, & Vietnam? Mind you, it explains why the local orphanage where I grew up was called St Joseph's ... (What, you say I'm reading it wrong? Then why, if he's the patron saint of house hunters, would you bury him facing away from them and towards your own house?)

By: blacklite

blacklite — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 23:01:51 -0800

There sure are a lot of uneducated people in that country. Poor saps. Maybe the UN should step in.

By: alicesshoe

alicesshoe — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 23:06:21 -0800

Seems condos are quicker to sell as they don't have a St. Joseph Condo Model. Any instructions where to bury it¿ Desperate measure require desperate actions, WTH, why not, indeed. I saw an episode on HGTV, where the home owner did this, a most undignified position for a saint¿ Nu¿ Upside down, ass up facing the house¿ What kind of cruel luck is this¿¿ Home Buyers Please Note: Any fresh diggings surrounding the property — property has been up for sale longer than mentioned and possibly desperate now.

By: vrakatar

vrakatar — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 23:08:56 -0800

It sells the house as fast as it can or else it gets the dirtnap again.

By: empath

empath — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 23:29:21 -0800

I'm not real fond of the tags on this post, btw. This is neither idolatry nor paganism, and those are both slurs that have been directed at the Catholic church for centuries by Puritans and fundamentalists.

By: darkstar

darkstar — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 23:29:33 -0800

MeFi: Kind of like voodoo, only far less coherent.

By: bystander

bystander — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 01:20:09 -0800

I sold my house in a few weeks with a garden gnome in the garden!!! Mail me to purchase an equally effective gnome.

By: ubersturm

ubersturm — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 01:39:34 -0800

maryh - no, no, that's St. Anthony. Though I've always preferred St. Jude (patron saint of lost causes.)

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 02:05:26 -0800

St Joseph is so 2005, it's all about the satanic rituals now.

By: Wolof

Wolof — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 02:33:13 -0800

St Joseph existed to find lost car keys I think for your lost object needs you'll be wanting St Anthony, but Old Joe is the (sacked) saint of safe travel.

By: Wolof

Wolof — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 02:46:52 -0800

Old Joe is the (sacked) saint of safe travel In other news, I am so lapsed I couldn't even remember St Christopher properly. Bloody Hell, the Vatican purge of poor old Chris affected me worse than I knew!

By: Talanvor

Talanvor — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 03:45:10 -0800

So do crucifictions bring down the property value then? I love weird little things like this, especially since I know there's someone out there making money off of it and laughing at them at the same time.

By: Phanx

Phanx — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 04:43:57 -0800

Of course, burying the image of a saint upside down - especially Saint Joseph - is a traditional way of committing your soul to Satan forever, and thereby reserving yourself a hot piece of real estate in the hereafter. Still, if it shifts the house...

By: haplesschild

haplesschild — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 05:22:56 -0800

One of my first memories is being in Chicago in my front yard, just before moving to Vegas, and my mom is digging something up near the flowerbed. I walked over to her to find that she had extracted a statue of a man and her explanation went right over my head. I was convinced my mom found buried treasure! Presently St. Joseph is just the statue that gets passed around the family whenever their house goes up on the market- it is somewhere in between tradition and gag gift. Ours has been in the family for years, and even though most members of my family aren't devout Catholics anymore, people still call my mom (who was the oldest child, and thus keeper f the statue) for him whenever their house goes up on the market.

By: Sk4n

Sk4n — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 05:36:01 -0800

In Ireland there is a superstition - not sure how widespread, but certainly well known in Galway - that if you bury the statue of the "Child of Prague" in your garden, it won't rain on your Daughter's wedding day. This is Galway - they need all the help they can get when it comes to not raining.

By: Flashman

Flashman — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 05:45:34 -0800

I think the answer is that digging a hole in the front yard to bury the St. Joseph serves to aerate the soil; the garden therefore grows more lush and colourful, which is is what sells the house. I'd be interested in seeing some double blind control tests run, with holes dug but no statue buried; with holes dug and a steel or copper rod buried; and perhaps with nothing dug or buried at all.

By: konolia

konolia — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 06:08:47 -0800

If it does work, it's occult. Superstition, whatever, it isn't a Christian practice. This is sad.

By: dreamsign

dreamsign — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 06:37:51 -0800

Yes. Everybody knows that only Jesus can turn turn property into gold.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 06:48:57 -0800

Yes. Everybody knows that only Jesus can turn turn property into gold. this statement reveals a yawning chasm of ignorance on the part of the commenter.

By: caddis

caddis — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 07:12:24 -0800

If it does work, it's occult. Superstition, whatever, it isn't a Christian practice. This is sad. no, it's cute

By: dreamsign

dreamsign — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 07:17:33 -0800

Whatever, q-man. Christian is as Christian does. I was rather disappointed, upon some more extensive travels in SEA this last year, to find a lot of Buddhism, in practice, to be infested with base superstition, too. Visit a shrine to find... dozens of people making offerings in the form reputed to best draw a boon from this particular icon (note: not this particular iconography, but this very statue): two coconuts, two petal garlands, two candies, two coins. Get it wrong, and you can kiss your wish goodbye. Some of the most lovely pictures I got were from scenes like this, but the practice... Of course, I'm sure many would hasten to say "That's not Buddhism" and to an extent they'd be right. But the extent to which this kind of superstition is rife among practitioners can't be said to be wholly separate from the religion as it exists. Religion isn't a bunch of books completely separate from what is being done in its name. But then that's a tad longer than my original comment. In any case, I just think it's funny when a believer in one kind of magic calls another magical belief a superstition, hence my comment. Anything of substance to offer, yourself, quonsar, or only candies, petals and snark?

By: dreamsign

dreamsign — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 07:22:21 -0800

Just to add: obviously in this case we're talking superstition without any real attachment to religion -- we have nonreligious people, people of other faiths, and Christians, all resorting to this "tactic". But my mirth at a Christian referring to this as a superstition remains.

By: John Kenneth Fisher

John Kenneth Fisher — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 08:02:10 -0800

This is sad. An it harm none...

By: cookie-k

cookie-k — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 08:23:49 -0800

Yup, losties are St. Anthony. You have to say,
"Tony, Tony, look around,
Something's lost, and can't be found,..."
and then you have to make up a couplet specific to the item you're hunting. Never fails.

By: Horace Rumpole

Horace Rumpole — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 08:29:31 -0800

It's like throwing salt over your shoulder when you spill it. Pointless, but who does it hurt? How about the guy looking over your shoulder? Everybody knows that only ~~Jesus~~ Tom Vu can turn property into gold. Fixed that for you.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 08:38:47 -0800

snark? careful dreamsign, you're taking the name of my god in vain there.

By: bradbane

bradbane — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 09:14:22 -0800

This is neither idolatry nor paganism, and those are both slurs that have been directed at the Catholic church for centuries by Puritans and fundamentalists. Yeah you're right, burying an idol in your front yard to bring monetary gain isn't idolatry at all.

By: stet

stet — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 09:16:23 -0800

It's like throwing salt over your shoulder when you spill it. Pointless, but who does it hurt? That's why I buried several bags of salt in the garden prior to putting my house up for sale. What could it hurt?

By: sebastienbailard

sebastienbailard — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 09:45:03 -0800

Have you tried throwing a statue of St. Joseph over your shoulder?

By: pracowity

pracowity — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 09:51:01 -0800

As if this Jesus fella, whether begged directly or through a little statue of a dead guy who by primitive tradition specializes in such complaints, would give two shits about what happens in the American housing market when the nohousing market continues to grow. He'd flip off the flippers.

By: Man-Thing

Man-Thing — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 10:56:14 -0800

If, however, you're on the lookout for some quality footwear, it might help to bury a statue of St. Hubbins.

By: Spatch

Spatch — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:00:55 -0800

Though I've always preferred St. Jude (patron saint of lost causes.) As a non-Catholic, I remember being mystified as a kid reading column after column of anonymous messages in the classifieds, all reading "Thank you St. Jude for favors granted." I had no idea what a novena was, but I sure saw the word a lot in the back of the newspaper.

By: joe lisboa

joe lisboa — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:10:15 -0800

If it does work, it's occult. Superstition, whatever, it isn't a Christian practice. Because people who believe in magic just hate competition. see also: Harry Potter, Dungeons and Dragons, Scientology, etc.

By: Gungho

Gungho — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:26:02 -0800

I bought a house recently and can't figure out why people keep knocking on the door asking if the house is for sale. Now I gotta dig up the front lawn! Don't these icons come with directions: "Remove after sale"

By: Flashman

Flashman — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 13:29:41 -0800

(giggle)

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:34:08 -0800

American "christianity" seems to be less about actual Christianity and more like a syncretic folk-tradition which just happens to use Christian symbols and names. Kind of like voodoo, only far less coherent. you're confusing christianity with catholicism - and voodoo is more coherent because it's based on more recent folk traditions than those represented by catholic saints If it does work, it's occult. Superstition, whatever, it isn't a Christian practice. This is sad. konolia, how is it any sadder than protestants praying directly to god for their house to be sold? - and please don't tell me they don't one of the things about catholicism people often fail to understand is that the saints are not being "prayed to" or "worshipped" - they are being asked to advocate the person's request to god - or asked to help with the power god has blessed them with - and yes, burying a st joseph statue in a yard can be considered a form of prayer by those who are devout - but there is NOTHING occult about it as the saints can do NOTHING that is not authorized by god from the catechism of the church - 2683 The witnesses who have preceded us into the Kingdom (Heb 12:1), especially those whom the Church recognizes as saints, share in the living tradition of prayer by the example of their lives, the transmission of their writings, and their prayer today. They contemplate God, praise him and constantly care for those whom they have left on earth. When they entered into the joy of their Master , they were "put in charge of many things." (Mt 25:21) Their intercession is their most exalted service to God's plan. We can and should ask them to intercede for us and for the whole world. so you see, it is NOT occult - no powers are called upon except those that come from god as for myself, i don't believe i should pray for such things or that the idea of intercession by the saints makes much sense - but you only call it occult because you have no real understanding of the tradition

By: davejay

davejay — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:56:29 -0800

It's like throwing salt over your shoulder when you spill it. Pointless, but who does it hurt? The person who has to clean up the salt?

By: caddis

caddis — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 18:03:23 -0800

You see PT, the Baptists think of the Catholic Church as just one of the bigger cults - only they know the true way, and then the Catholic Church similarly dismisses the Baptists. It reminds me of this joke,

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it." "Why shouldn't I?" he asked. "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Are you religious?" He said, "Yes." I said, "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?" "Christian." "Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist." "Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God." "Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God." "Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915." I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.

By: TrialByMedia

TrialByMedia — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:31:28 -0800

My parents actually did this when selling their last house. I'd never heard of it before. Oddly enough, the gay dudes that got evicted from the apartment I live in now had a St Joseph statue that is now my rear doorstop. I'm not sure what use they had for it.

By: dreamsign

dreamsign — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:59:02 -0800

By: PareidoliaticBoy

PareidoliaticBoy — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 21:08:42 -0800

"The gay dudes that got evicted from the apartment I live in now had a St Joseph statue that is now my rear doorstop" I'm thinkin' that you might wanna re-read the user's manual there, TrialByMedia.

By: caddis

caddis — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 01:47:32 -0800

do non-RC Christians not make use of the saints in that way? no, they don't