Sarcasm: no longer the lowest form of humor

November 18, 2007 10:06 PM

How to win friends and influence people.
Or, how to earn two dollars, three balls at a time.
Or, why Lynn Swann was a wide receiver.
YouRUBEry? Step right up. That is, if your fat butts aren't stuck to your chairs from reading all the rest of this crap, heh heh heh heh, high and dry.

youtubefilter, many NSFW, but perfectly OK next to the ferris wheel
C'mon, flag me. Two dollars. I've seen better flags at the gay parade, maybe that's where you learned how to throw? High and dry, high and dry, A-hua-hua-hua, heh heh heh... Heh, heh, heh... WAUUGH!

Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, is that your girlfriend, or did someone get sick all over you on one of the rides? High and dry. C'mon, we need a baseball player here. Don't any of you MeFites play any sports, WAUGHHHH!

Anyway, as I was saying, don't any of you MeFites play any sports, or is the web all about masturbation to you? Eh-heh-heh-heh-heh. High and dry! WUAHHH!!

Oh great, you broke it.

(This post dedicated to another MeFite whom I never knew existed. Neither did his momma.)

Oh man, I need a drink... It's hot with all this makeup on.

posted by not_on_display (30 comments total)

I'm scared. Someone hold me.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:14 PM on November 18, 2007

This is amazing. I really love this post.
posted by serazin at 10:30 PM on November 18, 2007

Even John Wayne Gacy wasn't evil enough to be a dunk-tank clown.
posted by kyleg at 10:30 PM on November 18, 2007

..... damn.
posted by Space Kitty at 10:30 PM on November 18, 2007

I never knew this word until tonight, miss_lynnster: Coulrophobia.
Previously.
posted by not_on_display at 10:32 PM on November 18, 2007

Where's a taser-happy cop when you need one?
posted by Reggie Digest at 10:34 PM on November 18, 2007

I... um... I'm making a note here... erm... hmmmmm.

What?
posted by Effigy2000 at 10:41 PM on November 18, 2007

MERV GRIFFIN!! MERRRRRRRRV GRIIFFINNNNNNNNNNN!!!
posted by loquacious at 10:46 PM on November 18, 2007 [2 favorites]

Too many clown tags. Staying away.
posted by empyrean at 10:47 PM on November 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

there's no rest for the weary, just another day grinding up stones till they turn into dust. it's hard life in the rough, diamonds ain't enough to cover up a corrupted and fucked-up legacy of strange fruit, bloody whips, and smallpox - trigger happy cops - barbed wire and firewater, y'all, it don't stop.
when the colonizer came, with the cross and the sword
i'll be the first spirit saying: I declare war

I'm a battle-scar wearing and repairing, descendant of a long list of the proletariat and peasant, so check the work ethic in the name; the lessons might change, but the essence of the message is the same.
posted by dismas at 10:50 PM on November 18, 2007

okay, so maybe it was a little early to start posting random shit on this one. sorry. i was confused, and a little bit frightened.
posted by dismas at 10:51 PM on November 18, 2007

SPOILER: At the end the clown turns out to be some stupid giant spider from Mars.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:51 PM on November 18, 2007

Just what I want when I go to the fair, a rude abusive huckster. No wonder people don't like carnies. Or clowns.

Crazy, crazy post though.
posted by fenriq at 11:03 PM on November 18, 2007

Great post. And I hate clowns, too.

Was there ever a time in my youth that I liked clowns? I don't think so.
posted by darkstar at 11:18 PM on November 18, 2007

Do any of those links show a clown being hit by a baseball?
posted by stavrogin at 11:28 PM on November 18, 2007

"Do you remember rainbows when they were in black and white?"
posted by YoBananaBoy at 11:28 PM on November 18, 2007

Great post. My wife and I were watching a guy in the dunk tank at the state fair this summer and were fascinated by the hatred for him. Awesome to watch, especially the guys who get sucked in hard and just won't leave. They get madder and madder AND MADDER. So funny.
posted by greenskpr at 3:35 AM on November 19, 2007

I think we found entertainment for the 10 year anniversary Metafilter meetup.

I can't think of any appropriate insults for the mods right now though.
posted by chillmost at 3:45 AM on November 19, 2007

That's awesome. I would pay to BE the clown.
posted by brautigan at 4:32 AM on November 19, 2007

I loved bit where the fat guy gets sick of being taunted about his weight and aims directly at the clown in Atlantic City:

"Don't get mad at me, I'm not the clown who did it to you. That was Ronald McDonald."
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:54 AM on November 19, 2007

Gary Busey played a hell of a dunking-tank clown in Carny, which also features Jody Foster as a teenage runaway stripper.
posted by Cookiebastard at 5:55 AM on November 19, 2007

Thanks, not_on_display, I love this post. We used to have a dunk tank at our local fair; it was usually "dunk the mayor," though, so I never really understood the point. But these clowns are seriously abusive; dunking one's got to be satisfying, on some level. Plus you've got to admire the energy it takes to sit up there, hurling insults and cackling.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:26 AM on November 19, 2007

Oh man, yet another thing I now have to write a movie about.
posted by unSane at 7:24 AM on November 19, 2007

Whoa. I was never scared of clowns before, but this just might do it.
posted by bassjump at 7:40 AM on November 19, 2007

*shudder* "Clowns. Why did it have to be clowns?"
posted by lordrunningclam at 7:55 AM on November 19, 2007

This post cries out for a recommendation of a great book called Dunk by David Lubar. It is about a boy who dreams of becoming a dunk tank clown.
posted by bove at 12:35 PM on November 19, 2007

Wow, I saw a heckling clown at the Iowa State Fair about 10 years ago and I think I blocked the memory between then and now. "IT TAKES A MAAAAAAAAN TO PUT BOBO IN THE CAN!"
posted by escabeche at 12:43 PM on November 19, 2007

Nice job with this post. That was fun.
posted by caddis at 1:18 PM on November 19, 2007

This post cries out for a recommendation of a great book called Dunk by David Lubar.

59 used & new available from $0.16!
posted by gum at 12:26 PM on November 20, 2007

Copies also available from the library! Reserved. (Also Carny - thanks for the rec's!)
posted by not_on_display at 8:11 AM on November 21, 2007