wish I had thought of this.....

November 20, 2007 1:05 AM

Dickipedia. No doubt it will grow.
posted by metasonix (59 comments total)

This would have been a lot better if it actually was an encyclopedia of dongers instead of Bill O'Reilly.
posted by Avenger at 1:16 AM on November 20, 2007 [2 favorites]

Some of the people listed are assholes, not dicks. Although, admittedly, there's a thin line between dicks and assholes.

Um, a thin line and some testicles, I guess.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:34 AM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

AZ if you start with that you'd eventually have to figure out if someone is a dick, a prick, an asshole, a fucker or a motherfucker before looking them up.
posted by Space Coyote at 1:44 AM on November 20, 2007

Speaking of the line between the dick and the asshole, what's the deal with that thing? Is there a name for it?

(And is that what Letterman's "Paul has a bag line" running gag from a few years back was all about?)
posted by Reggie Digest at 2:05 AM on November 20, 2007

these guys are chodes
posted by gorgor_balabala at 2:20 AM on November 20, 2007

Ah. Perineal raphe, apparently.
posted by Reggie Digest at 2:30 AM on November 20, 2007

it was done first--and better--here.
posted by msconduct at 2:43 AM on November 20, 2007

You guys're so getting "BOYZONE!" come morning.

I know! There are no women in Dickipedia, for a start.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:59 AM on November 20, 2007

Speaking of the line between the dick and the asshole, what's the deal with that thing? Is there a name for it?

if that was a serious question, it's called the perineum.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:01 AM on November 20, 2007

(oh, and women have them, too)
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:02 AM on November 20, 2007

But not between the dick and the asshole.






At least, not usually.
posted by No Mutant Enemy at 3:11 AM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

"They could barely see over the courtroom table, and their legs were too short to reach the floor. An 8-year-old and two 9-year-old boys, accused of raping an 11-year-old neighbor. [...] Reporters were briefly allowed in the courtroom where the young suspects sat Monday in restraints and navy-blue jumpsuits."

No need to worry here, folks. This is America, where our jails are adequately stocked with handcuffs for 9 year olds.

Somebody pour me a drink.
posted by Avenger at 3:21 AM on November 20, 2007

wrong thread lol


....



I still want that drink, though.
posted by Avenger at 3:21 AM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

yeh, i was about to comment that you'd probably already had enough. anyway, go over to the other thread & start getting eponysterical on their asses!

and No Mutant Enemy: nice timing!
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:23 AM on November 20, 2007

Ubu: I already answered my own question more accurately upthread (thank you Wikipedia) but way to try.

This Dickipedia is a bit gender-specific, though. Do I smell a Cuntipedia in the works?
posted by Reggie Digest at 3:38 AM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

Nah. Clitizendium.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:40 AM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

AZ if you start with that you'd eventually have to figure out if someone is a dick, a prick, an asshole, a fucker or a motherfucker before looking them up.

I thought there were just dicks, pussies and assholes:

We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
posted by kisch mokusch at 3:51 AM on November 20, 2007

Do I smell a Cuntipedia in the works?

No, that's just Condoleezza entering the room.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:54 AM on November 20, 2007

Speaking of the line between the dick and the asshole, what's the deal with that thing? Is there a name for it?

if that was a serious question, it's called the perineum.

Or, colloquially, the "taint."

Re: this post: Didn't Bernie Goldberg already write this book?
posted by hjo3 at 4:08 AM on November 20, 2007

From Dickipedia: X. "began his career by [bla, bla, bla] and growing a goatee, a facial hair configuration popular among dicks."

Hey, that's actually true!
posted by Termite at 4:34 AM on November 20, 2007

At last! Something that Cheney is honest about.
posted by ubiquity at 4:39 AM on November 20, 2007

May I suggest "Encyclopedia Clitannica"?

(Oh, and: BOYZONE!)
posted by GrammarMoses at 4:40 AM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

" 'Do I smell a Cuntipedia in the works?'

No, that's just Condoleezza entering the room."

BURN!
posted by oddman at 5:03 AM on November 20, 2007

Your mom's a dick.
posted by nofundy at 5:11 AM on November 20, 2007

Well, thank god. I was worried the web was running out of places to complain.
posted by Muddler at 7:20 AM on November 20, 2007

The original Dick Post
posted by lukemeister at 7:28 AM on November 20, 2007

The section on Chad Johnson actually makes him sound pretty cool. And come on, jokes about the French?
posted by jtron at 7:41 AM on November 20, 2007

Bucket of wikis.
posted by Partial Law at 8:49 AM on November 20, 2007

The Michael Moore page is fairly obnoxious. I still can't quite understand how people manage to equate him with the likes of Bill O'Reilly.
posted by JHarris at 9:47 AM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

The meatus between the cock and anus is the perineum. The line is the perineal raphe. Which I haven't got, but have la la la labia instead of, suckers.

It's easy to remember if you happen to think English people are lulz. Oh Raphe, you old stinker! Where do you think you're going under the carriage, there? Oh, oh I see where you're going now. Erm, very well.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:55 AM on November 20, 2007

but have la la la labia instead of, suckers.

Mmm, tentacle porn.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 10:14 AM on November 20, 2007

I think a meatus is a hole, ain't it? Anyway, the perineum is properly called the taint, and the perineal raphe is properly called the taint string, and "string" is properly pronounced "strang" or "skrang."
posted by Don Pepino at 10:14 AM on November 20, 2007

This Dickipedia is a bit gender-specific, though. Do I smell a Cuntipedia in the works?

Do I smell a Cuntipedia in the works?

No, that's just Condoleezza entering the room.

LOL smelly vagina? Dude, that quip went out of its way to infer that her cunt is smelly, rather than calling her a cunt. It's too fucking nasty to not seem sexist, and you're doing it on purpose to ruffle feathers that don't need ruffling. Boo.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:16 AM on November 20, 2007 [3 favorites]

meatus, I thought I knew ye.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:16 AM on November 20, 2007

Yeah, Michael Moore actually said "Shame on you, Mr. President"... out LOUD... and in front of a lot of people!

Wow, what a dick he is!
posted by wfc123 at 10:27 AM on November 20, 2007

No, that's just Condoleezza entering the room.

Please engage brain before hitting Post. Thank you.
posted by languagehat at 10:38 AM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

No, that's just Condoleezza entering the room.

Not to say that Ubu displayed some, er, questionable judgment with that one, but I'm kind of curious if there's an issue of way, way too much inside baseball with that, rather than straightforward unconsidered tastelessness there. See footnoted joke-unpacking here.

Of course, even if I'm right on about that, yow. It's a one-in-n stretch for people to even get that, and if they don't you come off like a complete jerk. Use some fucking common sense, man.
posted by cortex at 10:43 AM on November 20, 2007

And here's another point of view (mine) on Ubu's tasteless joke, and cortex's surprising defense of it.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:49 AM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

i can't believe no one has pointed out the other name for it: taint.

" 'taint the butthole, 'taint the cock...it's what's in between"

and while i wouldn't have used condi, uburoivas beat me to the tasteless joke punch. i was *so* totally going to go there.
posted by CitizenD at 11:07 AM on November 20, 2007

No, that's just Condoleezza entering the room.

Gross, and poor timing.
posted by jessamyn at 11:45 AM on November 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

i can't believe no one has pointed out the other name for it: taint.

Read the fucking thread.

uburoivas beat me to the tasteless joke punch. i was *so* totally going to go there.

Ah, somebody else whose "contributions" to the site I can safely ignore.
posted by languagehat at 12:20 PM on November 20, 2007

As far as the whole "Dickipedia" concept is concerned... "wish I had thought of this"? Actually, I, personally had thought of something like this, but I thought better of it before I even picked out a domain name. Glad I did. But I knew somebody else would. And the Condoleezza tasteless joke... something else that was inevitable, predictable, and totally unnecessary.
posted by wendell at 12:27 PM on November 20, 2007

No entry for John Holmes?

Weak.
posted by BobFrapples at 12:47 PM on November 20, 2007

No, that's just Condoleezza entering the room.

Gross, and poor timing.

I couldn't agree more. Apologize, recant, convince us that you're not, at bare minimum, an insensitive troll.
posted by Kwine at 1:14 PM on November 20, 2007

Hey Ubi when you grow up and can wear longpants I suggest you check out this Meta thread. I know you are an Australian but your upthread comment is out of order.
posted by adamvasco at 1:15 PM on November 20, 2007

I know you are an Australian but your upthread comment is out of order.

That comment is also out of order mate, but of course does not approach the outrageously tasteless remark UbuRoivas foisted on this thread. His distasteful and tactless comment has nothing to do with his nationality (and when he comes in here saying he lives with gay girls and yes! he really is a feminist, it had better follow an unreserved apology).
posted by peacay at 3:04 PM on November 20, 2007

What? It's ok to have a Dickipedia for males who are total dicks, but it's not ok to poke fun at a female who's a complete cunt (in my opinion)? Admittedly, i have a tin ear for gender relations, but i thought that was in keeping with the tone of the thread. I mean, look at the FPP, for chrissakes: "Dickipedia. No doubt it will grow."

Anyway, if people are offended then i apologise & retract without any reservation other than noting the hypocrisy described above & go back to giggling over the acceptable jokes, like Cuntipedia, Clitizendium, Encyclopedia Clitannica & kisch's dicks, pussies & assholes link.

Ironically, Condi apparently smells like an angel. Custom perfume, or something.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:31 PM on November 20, 2007

(curiously, peacay, in my experience, gay girls often make the most outrageously tasteless jokes, which would make the hardest sailor blush. mine was nothing in comparison. i make no judgment on the arguments for or against this phenomenon, just offer it as an observation)
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:39 PM on November 20, 2007

So, probably so much for my entymology etymology, then.
posted by cortex at 3:42 PM on November 20, 2007

i thought that was in keeping with the tone of the thread.

Well, it pretty much was, which is the whole problem with this stupid thread. But your retraction is much appreciated, and justifies my defense of you over in MetaTalk.

And yeah, take that, cortex!
posted by languagehat at 3:45 PM on November 20, 2007

hm.

so does that mean you're going to stop ignoring me, languagehat? or at least stop being condescending?

'cause your comment to me upthread was pretty insulting. and i didn't even make the joke.

i'm sorry that i missed a single line in this thread, and posted again on a topic. does that offense really deserve the ire implied by "read the fucking thread"?

i can't even get involved in the discussion over at metatalk, it's just too frustrating. there is SO MUCH casual hatefulness in metafilter, i can't weed out the sexism from the rampant douchebagness.
posted by CitizenD at 3:59 PM on November 20, 2007

Ubu, you're going with "Condi is the embodiment of a smelly cunt" then, and not "literally has a smelly cunt" as your meaning? Because it matters, you know. Men and women, cunts and dicks all or none, imo. It's when you start picking on people by way of their gendered attributes that it gets into sexist territory, for me. So, with that I would only argue against your joke, in that my personal portrait of a right cunt is O'Reilly or Wolfowitz. Condi, on the contrary, is an asshole.

I'm kind of curious about how usage of "cunt" is more or less tied to female targets and more or less used in conventional, anatomically denotative ways in various English speaking communities. It's also telling and problematic that "dick" is so ill-used against women.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:06 PM on November 20, 2007

In the long run, it will be interesting to see what the most popular pages on Dickipedia turn out to be... just like the most popular pages of Conservapedia. Rule of thumb... if a wiki site uses the "-pedia" suffix, it's probably more shit than substance (and that includes the original).
posted by wendell at 4:23 PM on November 20, 2007

AV: more like Condi is the embodiment of a cunt, and cunts happen to - as a matter of real world fact - have a reasonably typical smell. Being straight, i happen to like it, for whatever that's worth.

It *was* playing with fire, though, coz it strongly implies that she is, or has, a skanky-smelling twat, which puts one on a slippery slope towards LOLSMELLYVAGES!

As to your other point about men & women being called different things, I think it's actually quite rare here for women to be called cunts. Men, yes, all the time, but to call a woman a cunt makes her, i think, superduperbad. Like, as bad as the cunty men.

But i could probably overthink a pea in a pod.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:28 PM on November 20, 2007

Ubu, thanks for the willingness to talk about it. It's great to talk through the boyzone stuff without rancor, or otherwise suss out who's too big a prick to do so.

Of course, imagining Condi as an actual cunt-as-vagina has me going over the list of things she can do in my head: So she's Condoleeza Rice, the piano playing, ice skating gap-toothed vagina that speaks five languages who Stanford University elected as provost. Beats the hell out of a little casual ping pong.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:49 PM on November 20, 2007

so does that mean you're going to stop ignoring me, languagehat? or at least stop being condescending?

'cause your comment to me upthread was pretty insulting. and i didn't even make the joke.

No, you thought it was great and said you would have made it if Ubu hadn't. I have good reason to cut Ubu slack; you I don't know. Make good contributions around here and I promise I'll appreciate them; drop in to make dumb comments like that and, well, I won't.
posted by languagehat at 5:34 PM on November 20, 2007

d'aw, thanks, languagehat.

and AV: imagining Condi as a piano playing, ice skating vagina that speaks five languages who Stanford University elected as provost, suddenly changes my opinion of her entirely & makes her seem eminently desirable. Except for the teeth, of course.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:52 PM on November 20, 2007

UbuRoivas is a good man and I thank him for coming back into this thread.
posted by adamvasco at 3:02 AM on November 21, 2007

Wow. Yikes. I would like to formally apologize to you all for introducing a particular C-word to this thread. Sorry, folks. I see a dick joke, I forget I'm not on Fark.

My bad.

Would it help at all if I was to remind everyone that male genitalia can smell too? Something like, "Dick Cheney? More like Dick Cheese, amirite? Don't be shootin' nobody in the face with that." Ehhh, no, that would really not be good for MetaFilter. I'll just have to save that gem for a more appropriate time and place, like never and nowhere. Besides, it's not as funny as AV's ping pong crack.
posted by Reggie Digest at 4:07 AM on November 21, 2007