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Yuppies with Spears
November 21, 2007 9:47 AM   Subscribe

We've done anarchoprimitivism before (1, 2) with mixed results.

Some people have a different take. For my part, I don't think Daniel Quinn ever intended to inspire anything involving Segways.
posted by Arturus (17 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
If this is real... well, the cyberpunk future has arrived, skipping over tragedy straight to farce.
posted by Kattullus at 10:08 AM on November 21, 2007


Article from “Dot Bit” Magazine, originally titled “Beating around the Blackbush,” by Gerald Edmonson, in April 2007.

Mr. Edmonson, kudos. This is a fantasy that even our sainted robocop would be proud to call his own.

Mods, can we get a PDF warning in the post?
posted by suckerpunch at 10:08 AM on November 21, 2007


Spoiler: the kids get saved in the end by a warship that sails close by.
posted by not_on_display at 10:12 AM on November 21, 2007 [1 favorite]


Okay, yeah, this isn't real, but I really wanted to get my quip out.
posted by Kattullus at 10:14 AM on November 21, 2007


From the GPS set into the handlebars of his electric scooter, Mike led us down winding dirt paths...

*facepalm*
posted by everichon at 10:14 AM on November 21, 2007


Looks like Stephen Glass has a new job. Well, actually it's just good satire.

Mods, can we get a PDF warning in the post?

The link doesn't go directly to the PDFs.
posted by delmoi at 10:15 AM on November 21, 2007


Well, I'm silly. I swallowed the bit about how it was written in some Seattle 'zine. I hereby repurpose my kudos in the general direction of the Tangled Wilderness gents.
posted by suckerpunch at 10:16 AM on November 21, 2007


Okay, yeah, this isn't real, but I really wanted to get my quip out.
My quip was bigger than yours.
Feel free to flag this comment with extreme prejudice.
posted by not_on_display at 10:29 AM on November 21, 2007


Darkly funny, with lots of room to stretch into a full-blown satire of Heart of Darkness. Nice find.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:33 AM on November 21, 2007


Rewilding.

Riiiight. Americans -- sheesh. We live on a planet where at least 2 billion people would by just overwhelmed to have clean, running water. Perspective is key, here.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:49 AM on November 21, 2007


What a relief to find that the "Spears" referred to in the title wasn't Britney.
posted by wendell at 12:08 PM on November 21, 2007 [1 favorite]


This is absolutely brilliant - it reminds me a lot of George Saunders.
posted by milkrate at 12:33 PM on November 21, 2007


Fucking primmies.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:03 PM on November 21, 2007


well, i highly recommend Ishmael, the book that influenced these "yuppies with spears" in a slightly misguided kind of way. It really will change the way you view human society.

But hunting with spears on the top of segways? I mean.. efficiency is good and all.. but five segways per yuppie? I think the good thing about the book in question is that it's not prescriptive... but I doubt this is what Quinn would prescribe.

Good read. thanks.
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 3:51 PM on November 21, 2007


Dillonlikescookies: well, i highly recommend Ishmael, the book that influenced these "yuppies with spears" in a slightly misguided kind of way. It really will change the way you view human society.

I remember reading this. I remember thinking 'hey, this is making a lot of sense' until I realized that the author was making all kinds of assumptions without any kind of evidence whatsoever, and then I pretty much spent the rest of the book being annoyed.

Anyone who supports anarchoprimitivism is getting an eye-roll from me until they volunteer to be in the 99.9% of the population that'll have to die for it to happens.
posted by Mitrovarr at 5:13 PM on November 21, 2007


Anyone who supports anarchoprimitivism is getting an eye-roll from me until they volunteer to be in the 99.9% of the population that'll have to die for it to happens.

Can we please just not do this right now?
posted by poweredbybeard at 8:15 PM on November 21, 2007


Thom Hartmann's Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight is a far more practical interpretation of a similar analysis of human impact.

It gives you all of Ishmael's transformative vibe with 99.9% less gorilla...
posted by fairmettle at 9:58 PM on November 21, 2007 [2 favorites]


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