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Sorry again about not buying a CD or whatever.
November 26, 2007 8:32 PM   Subscribe

Dear Rockers. Guilt ridden music lovers get to feel better about themselves.
posted by bowline (29 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
Give me a break.
posted by 45moore45 at 8:34 PM on November 26, 2007


Does this mean I can send a bill for $5.00 to the bands that sucked and wasted 4 minutes of my life listening to their shitty tune(s)?
posted by 45moore45 at 8:37 PM on November 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


This is in MetaFilter projects btw.
posted by survivorman at 8:38 PM on November 26, 2007


Like...for instance, Nelson?
posted by Asherah at 8:38 PM on November 26, 2007


Yeah, David Bowie really needed your $5. Thanks!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 8:45 PM on November 26, 2007


I thought this was a cute idea when it showed up in Projects. You don't have to choose megastars, you know.
posted by mediareport at 8:49 PM on November 26, 2007


Dear Billy Joel,
I should tell you that, about a decade ago, I taped some of the songs from your “greatest hits” album off a friend’s tape. It was a mistake, but rest assured, I taped over it immediately on hearing it.

PS, no money enclosed as you are as rich as you are shithouse.

wooo hooo, two billy joel comments in one day
posted by mattoxic at 9:00 PM on November 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


Did not notice this in projects......
posted by bowline at 9:11 PM on November 26, 2007


Dear Rockers of the late 70s and early 80s: I rarely bought your cassettes. I always taped them off of friends' tapes. Sorry I didn't help you buy that extra ounce of cocaine.
posted by amyms at 9:20 PM on November 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


1987 whatta year, eh? those sure were the days
posted by dydecker at 9:24 PM on November 26, 2007


Dear Pixies:
You guys are amazing! Man, when I was seventeen, I played your CDs nonstop and took them everywhere! In fact, they got so scratched, I must've bought Surfer Rosa twice, and Doolittle...could it really be three times?

Anyway, I hate to be petty, but since I apparently paid you guys five times for the right to possess access to two albums, could you please refund me that extra $15?

Thanks!
- salvia
posted by salvia at 10:31 PM on November 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


Dear Duran Duran,

All right. Here's your $5 hush money. If anyone asks, I never owned Thank You. You got that?

K
posted by katillathehun at 11:39 PM on November 26, 2007 [4 favorites]


Dear Iron Maiden,

In lieu of actually giving you any money, I hereby dedicate this, my 666th comment on Metafilter, to you.

Much love,
nasreddin
posted by nasreddin at 12:22 AM on November 27, 2007 [5 favorites]


Dear Bob Seeger,

Y'know, I never liked you. In fact Night Moves makes my skin crawl. Yet for some reason, I know all the words to all your songs, as if they were imprinted on my very DNA. I don't know how much it would cost to remove this awareness from my mind, but when I find out, I expect every red cent, plus some extra for pain and suffering.

You will be hearing from my attorney.

Yours in Christ,
louche mustachio
posted by louche mustachio at 1:07 AM on November 27, 2007 [2 favorites]


Dear rockers,

Stop playing the sam old crap genre.

Invent something NEW already!
posted by HTuttle at 1:35 AM on November 27, 2007


*cough*
FairTunes
*cough*

The letters themselves are neat though.
posted by Kreiger at 3:13 AM on November 27, 2007


With a working link this time:

FairTunes
posted by Kreiger at 3:14 AM on November 27, 2007


Dear Air Supply,

It is my pleasure to write and inform you of a transaction involving the transfer of US $21,000,000.00 (twenty one million US dollars) only into a foreign account for safekeeping pending my arrival to your country for the sharing with you as the account owner into which the money is remitted. I am an accountant with the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC), Lagos and this money originated from over-invoiced contract executed for the corporation some years back.

This contract has long been completed by a foreign firm and the contractor duly paid. I now seek if you would permit the surplus to be remitted into your account. As a matter of fact, I am a top government official and I cannot come out openly to claim this amount. This is why I am looking for a competent and honest company or individual abroad whose documents will be tendered here in Nigeria as one of the contractors that executed the project.

However, I would wish to receive your personal assurance that you would not sit on the money when it goes into your account. More importantly, you keep confidential this transaction, in order not to tarnish the confidence repose in the officials involved in this transaction. To effect this transfer, I therefore request the following:

YOUR ACCOUNT NUMBER, THE NAME OF YOUR BANK WHERE THE MONEY WOULD BE TRANSFERRED INTO AND ALSO YOUR PRIVATE FAX AND TELEPHONE NUMBERS FOR QUICK COMMUNICATION.

So far, after due consultations, you were strongly and reliably recommended to me although we have not met or entered into any kind of contract with you before as to know the extent of your honesty, but based on the recommendation, I personally want to believe that you are honest enough and would not sit on the money if finally got into your account. It is on this note that I consider it proper to write you asking for your permission and support to transfer this amount into your account. You should not fear any risk because we have concluded arrangement to safe guard you in the transaction.

This business is 100% risk free. Hence it requires high level of confidence and secrecy. Meanwhile, this is the breakdown of the sharing modalities:

(A). 10% WILL BE USED TO SETTLE TRANSFER CHARGES AND LEGAL PROTOCOLS.

(B). 30% IS FOR USING YOUR ACCOUNT.

(C). 60% OF IT WILL BE FOR US THE ORIGINATORS.

Be informed that on completion of this business I will use part of my money to invest in your country under your care. Please note that the transfer operation will take ten to twelve working days to be completed.

If you are interested, send the requested information via email so that we can proceed.

Best Regards,

Mr. Blazecock "Ebola" Pileon.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:21 AM on November 27, 2007 [8 favorites]


Dear Radiohead...



Nah, too easy.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 4:46 AM on November 27, 2007


Dear 80s rockers,

You know people taped your songs. We know half of you would be also-rans otherwise.

Love
ersatz (like the cassettes, got it?)
posted by ersatz at 4:53 AM on November 27, 2007


Dear Imogen Heap,

By the time you read this letter, I'll be dead. Here's how I think it will happen...
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:31 AM on November 27, 2007


Dear Old Rockers
I'm young, you're not, therefore, you suck!

Thanks
Kewlkids
posted by Goofyy at 5:36 AM on November 27, 2007


Why is most of the money Canadian? Did Jian Gomeshi just mention the site on his shitty show or something?
posted by chococat at 6:13 AM on November 27, 2007


I come to this a bit late, but I'm guy the built the site. A few comments:

* In retrospect I think the name sounds unnecessarily proscriptive. I didn't really intend it to apply to Billy Joel and Gowan, but that's what the early returns have been. I originally was going to go with DearArtists.org, but frankly, that sounds lame. Maybe DearEmoBands.org?

* In addition to FairTunes, somebody has pointed me at MusicNeutral, which kind of acts as a middle man for people sending money directly to bands (something DearRockers.org, which is more pop art than practical service, doesn't).

* Most of the letters are Canadian because I'm Canadian, and I harassed my friends to pre-populate a few letters. Then I blogged about it, as did a couple of other Canadian bloggers.
posted by dbarefoot at 9:10 AM on November 27, 2007


"Y'know, I never liked you. In fact Night Moves makes my skin crawl. Yet for some reason, I know all the words to all your songs, as if they were imprinted on my very DNA. I don't know how much it would cost to remove this awareness from my mind, but when I find out, I expect every red cent, plus some extra for pain and suffering."

MONGREL IS REALLY GOOD! BOB SEGER MADE AWESOME MUSIC BEFORE NIGHT MOVES, WHICH IS STILL KINDA COOL TO HEAR EVERY NOW AND THEN FROM A JUKEBOX.

(Paid for by the Committee To Resuscitate Seger Love).
posted by klangklangston at 10:52 AM on November 27, 2007 [2 favorites]


Weak W00terthans!
posted by wemayfreeze at 4:49 PM on November 27, 2007


(Paid for by the Committee To Resuscitate Seger Love).

I am interested in your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by jonmc at 6:36 PM on November 27, 2007


Dude, I got Mongrel this weekend and I've been blasting it. It's fantastic! That and a few non-lp tracks that I hunted down on SLSK.

SO GOOD.

I only wish that the vinyl I have wasn't so worn on so much of it.
posted by klangklangston at 6:51 PM on November 27, 2007


Bob Seger, "Live Bullet" rocks as great as any live album you have ever heard. "Night Moves", not so much.

Why yes, I'm from Michigan. How'd you guess?
posted by Goofyy at 12:10 AM on November 28, 2007


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