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Odd creativity with sex toys
November 27, 2007 8:21 AM   Subscribe

Odd creativity with sex toys - sometimes funny, sometimes sad, sometimes pretty far-out, and sometimes just unbelievable (all links probably NSFW to varying degrees)
posted by janetplanet (30 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
This is my favorite.
posted by dead_ at 8:30 AM on November 27, 2007


Talc included!
posted by GuyZero at 8:30 AM on November 27, 2007


btw, this one didn't really fit in with the post, but I wouldn't want Fido or Spot to feel left out here (woof woof)....
posted by janetplanet at 8:34 AM on November 27, 2007


Quit pussyfooting around!
posted by shakespeherian at 9:21 AM on November 27, 2007


Do casualty / ER departments really need more people with vacuum related genital injuries?
posted by vbfg at 9:26 AM on November 27, 2007


The Cone will have you rocking, humping and gyrating like a slag in a nightclub.

That it, I'm sold!
posted by maryh at 9:37 AM on November 27, 2007


*that's* I'm so excited I can barely type, I guess.
posted by maryh at 9:39 AM on November 27, 2007


If only real ladies came with a vagina in their feet. Sigh... one can only dream, I suppose.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 9:45 AM on November 27, 2007


How funny is it that the fetish feet (with built in vagina!) are out of stock? Is it a popular stocking stuffer this time of year? Get it? Stocking stuffer?!
posted by msali at 10:10 AM on November 27, 2007 [2 favorites]


Flagged as sexy!
posted by sourwookie at 11:30 AM on November 27, 2007


Ugh, I'm so jaded.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:46 AM on November 27, 2007 [1 favorite]


...life-like futurotic foot mounted on a provacative high-heel shoe with a luscious tight, ribbed pussy tucked away discreetly at the base of the foot...

Yes, discretion is important... so that people don't think you're some kind of freak when they see your pseudo-flesh high-heeled foot on the bookshelf.
posted by nanojath at 11:48 AM on November 27, 2007 [1 favorite]


[IB's wife]

One of my clients just bought me the cone. LOVE. LOVE LOVE. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
posted by InnocentBystander at 12:18 PM on November 27, 2007


What's so great about the Cone?
posted by exlotuseater at 12:33 PM on November 27, 2007


this is my favorite: the jesus jackhammer. (also on that site: the baby jesus butt plug)
posted by CitizenD at 12:38 PM on November 27, 2007 [1 favorite]


Reckon that does leave you a bystander, although the innocence is debatable.
posted by Wolfdog at 12:38 PM on November 27, 2007


The best thing about the cone is how useful it is for two-person fun. The logistics of using a vibrator during intercourse are weird enough that the spontaneity is lost. The cone takes care of this problem. It is good for both partners during intercourse. The biggest problem we have with it is that we can only use it while our housemates are gone, because things get pretty noisy when we're using it -- and not because of the vibration.
posted by InnocentBystander at 1:40 PM on November 27, 2007


this is my favorite: the jesus jackhammer.

Thanks alot, CitizenD. Now I can't get this out of my head.
posted by Room 101 at 2:13 PM on November 27, 2007


This is my idea of far-out, btw. Rubber fuckfeet are not.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 2:19 PM on November 27, 2007


There are a lot of sex toys that fall into this category in a not terribly fun or sexy way. When I could get them at cost or for free (sometimes we got samples that the company wasn't going to sell) I would sometimes adopt them, because I thought they were funny. For example, there was this poorly designed number. I think we did actually sell the foot vagina, which is rather nasty when you see it in person.

As long as we're on the subject of weird sex toys... wait, don't click on this. I'm sorry.
posted by louche mustachio at 2:47 PM on November 27, 2007


the real question is: what type of job does IB's wife have that involves client's purchasing her sex toys? (or area or market).
posted by mrzarquon at 2:54 PM on November 27, 2007


Mrzarquon: Phone sex, specializing in erotic hypnosis and financial domination.
posted by InnocentBystander at 3:48 PM on November 27, 2007


Dear god louche mustachio, of course I guess it's better than them using the real thing...uggh.
posted by whoaali at 5:33 PM on November 27, 2007


IB: I feel quite dumb for asking that now, as I have some friends who have similar lines of employment.
posted by mrzarquon at 5:35 PM on November 27, 2007


"financial domination"? Meaning men who want her to tell them their paychecks are too small?
posted by DU at 7:21 PM on November 27, 2007


Financial domination is like "give me your money. And stuff. Yeah, stuff, too. Right now. Or else. Or else what? Or else I won't take your money! And then you'll be sorry!"

This actually works.
posted by InnocentBystander at 7:58 PM on November 27, 2007 [1 favorite]


wow, I've been spending all these years working in an office not even aware of such career alternatives (sheltered life, I guess). Is there a training school or course for potential financial dominatrixes? might be time for a career change!
posted by janetplanet at 9:32 PM on November 27, 2007


Man, those sex dolls come close enough to the uncanny valley even if they are incapable of self-initiated movement. Here's a catalogue, if anyone's interested.
posted by kureshii at 2:36 AM on November 28, 2007




Dear god louche mustachio, of course I guess it's better than them using the real thing...uggh.


Oh believe me, I couldn't bear to use the critter as its makers intended. It's purely for show and tell. In fact, most animal shaped sex toys weird me out, including the ever popular Rabbit, and that one that looks like a rude wombat crawling up a lady's dress. I don't care what kind of state of the art doo hicketys you've got up in there, I'm not going to forget that the thing is shaped like a rodent, and will therefore not be able to stop laughing long enough to get Hot and/or Bothered.

Random weird sex toy fact: If you throw a Pocket Pussy at the warehouse ceiling, it will stick there forever.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:31 AM on November 28, 2007


Come All Ye Faithful!
posted by homunculus at 12:48 AM on November 29, 2007


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