A New Hope
November 29, 2007 9:03 PM   Subscribe

In these times of trouble, A New Hope.
posted by five fresh fish (30 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
Oooh, Another goodie! [NSFJ]

Holy crap, apparently he also writes for Forbes.com. Tsk, Forbes!

Still looking for claims of lizard overlords...
posted by five fresh fish at 9:07 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


Good use of the "batshitinsane" tag, sir.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 9:07 PM on November 29, 2007


I don't get this post. A couple of articles about election fraud in various countries and a link to a conspiracy theory blog? C for effort.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 9:20 PM on November 29, 2007


But Titor said this wouldn't happen!
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 9:22 PM on November 29, 2007


CONSPIRACY RAP
posted by eddydamascene at 9:23 PM on November 29, 2007


Snakedumb
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:39 PM on November 29, 2007


Flagged.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 9:46 PM on November 29, 2007


Which is why I always cast votes with my tin-foil ballot.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 9:48 PM on November 29, 2007


Lithium.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 9:48 PM on November 29, 2007


If the sources are to be believed, U.S. President George Bush’s government will resign, before his term expires, and will be replaced by an interim regime headed by Al Gore.

Please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh PLEASE let this be true. Please, please, please, please, please.

I know. It's not true.

But pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

posted by Pater Aletheias at 9:57 PM on November 29, 2007


Oh, I heard all of this last night at dinner.
posted by parmanparman at 10:01 PM on November 29, 2007


The Illuminati need a MySpace page.
posted by sourwookie at 10:02 PM on November 29, 2007


PostIrony, the last link is the key one.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 10:02 PM on November 29, 2007


The Illuminati need a MySpace page. ...because their current one is ugly.
posted by spiderwire at 10:11 PM on November 29, 2007


The video was David Rockefelller dancing.
He's good.
posted by bigmusic at 10:17 PM on November 29, 2007


Is someone writing end-times fanfic again?
posted by casarkos at 10:27 PM on November 29, 2007


I think that was the first conspiracy theory site I've ever seen that wasn't hideously html 1.0 ugly. They almost had me duped for a second there with their generic blogger template.
posted by p3t3 at 10:31 PM on November 29, 2007


To tell the truth, I quite like Ben's vision of the future. If one's got to believe in conpiracies then, hell yes, believe in ones that act in the name of "good"! It's so upbeat and optimistic, what's not to like? Bush out, social programs in, rebalancing of trade imbalances, rainbows and unicorns.

And it's all going to be decided by democratic vote. That is where it falls apart for me. As far as I can tell it's the dark-future schizoids who are on the right track. Secret prisons, the end of habeus corpus, a billion-dollar private army... it's all so depressing.

Shine on, Ben, shine on.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:59 PM on November 29, 2007


Wasn't there some sort of Bill Clinton Cargo Cult, where they thought Clinton had enacted some massive law that would create sweeping reforms? But Bush was trying to prevent the announcement of this law while anonymous patriotic generals and senators and so on tried to get the news out with wink wink nudge nudge code words? You were supposed to go meet your favorite mayor or something and if he was in on trying to get this law announced you were supposed to be able to drop a few key phrases that would let him know that he could let you know about the sweeping reforms about to be enacted.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 11:36 PM on November 29, 2007


Surely this is satire. It pretty much distills and remixes the essence of every conspiracy theory held since the Freemasons banded together for their world tour.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:02 AM on November 30, 2007


If the Everett-Wheeler-Graham model is correct, somewhere out there he's right.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 12:03 AM on November 30, 2007


The YouTube video definitely has a Patton Oswalt-like roll to it, but totally dry humor. This guy's a total fucking riot.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:05 AM on November 30, 2007


At least, I hope he's joking.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:07 AM on November 30, 2007


I don't think he is.

He's probably being played by a bunch of Tong conmen.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 12:20 AM on November 30, 2007


D'oh. I'm stupid. My bad. I quite liked it once I read it.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 1:38 AM on November 30, 2007


I thought this was a Star Wars link.
posted by fungible at 5:43 AM on November 30, 2007 [2 favorites]


It startles me that this guy apparently was Forbes Magazine's bureau chief in Asia for seven years, and left only recently (2005). What happened?
posted by mr.marx at 10:52 AM on November 30, 2007


Simple: He was getting too close to The Truth.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:25 AM on November 30, 2007


Truths, half-truths, and bullshit. This heady mix is the real threat to democracy. Tell the Big Lie and surround it with a few factoids. Every tinhorn bigot and megalomaniac despot (right and left) has used this approach throughout history.
posted by jomama123 at 11:46 AM on November 30, 2007


What happened? My guess is that he went schizoid. Truly.
posted by five fresh fish at 3:38 PM on November 30, 2007


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