Comments on: Life imitates soap opera

Life imitates soap opera

roofus — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:34:59 -0800

John Darwin disappeared while canoeing of the coast of North Yorkshire in 2002. He was presumed dead, until he walked into a police station on Saturday with no memory of where he has been for 5 and a half years.

The story is eerily reminiscent of Neighbours stalwart, Harold Bishop who was lost from the series for 5 years, after being swept out to sea (Bonus Harold link). Dissociative fugue or foul play?

By: Camofrog

Camofrog — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:40:59 -0800

The guy's 90-year-old dad: "I will tell him 'well done' and I want to find out what's happened to him." LOLBrits

By: Webbster

Webbster — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:46:25 -0800

This one is pisspoor at best.

By: everichon

everichon — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:56:07 -0800

This one is pisspoor at best. He can hardly have been earning mad bank whilst in a dissociative fugue. Jeez.

By: everichon

everichon — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:56:56 -0800

Also, unless you have 5 years of lost time, you really just can't understand.

By: game warden to the events rhino

game warden to the events rhino — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:58:56 -0800

Please, just follow that Harold Bishop Wikipedia link and stand in silent awe: it's a thing of wonder, at about 28 million words long. Maybe that's what John Darwin spent the last five years doing.

By: Jody Tresidder

Jody Tresidder — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:59:27 -0800

It's hard to say whether his "widow's" apparently very recent, apparently very sudden move abroad (possibly to Panama) is connected! The following bit is from today's UK Daily Mail update. It might be a red herring, then again... "The mystery of John Darwin, 57, deepened this evening when it emerged that his wife Anne, 55, sold the family home less than a month ago for £295,000. Mrs Darwin, a doctor's receptionist, is understood to be living in Panama City in central America after opening a bank account there..."

By: Uther Bentrazor

Uther Bentrazor — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:01:25 -0800

Damn you, Haitian!

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:02:31 -0800

well, if twin peaks taught me anything about this sort of situation, it's that... hang on... well, there's a dwarf talking backwards... I mean, I know the weird creepy guy hiding in his bedroom that his mother doesn't remember for years until she finally decides for whatever reason to scan her flawless memory one more time has something to do with it. oh, god and david bowie was there for some fucking reason. that was weird. so yeah, mystery solved, eh wot?

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:06:04 -0800

Shmegegge: I wonder if his favorite gum has come back in style...

By: designbot

designbot — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:09:21 -0800

The craziest part is, his t-shirt was last seen in 1992.

By: jquinby

jquinby — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:13:54 -0800

...it's a thing of wonder, at about 28 million words long. Compare against the entry for...say, an Archbishop.

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:18:39 -0800

Yes, moving away after your spouse has been missing for over 5 years and is presumed dead is definitely a sign of suspicion. No innocent person would want to move away from the scene of such happy memories and closure. The part about neighbors all reporting different countries does sound a little weird though. foul play? He's terrible at following directions, if he did fake his own death. Step 7 clearly says "Stay dead." Also, "It is extremely inconvenient, not to mention rude and a terrible let down for your enemies." So there you go. Everyone knows the British are polite to a fault.

By: ODiV

ODiV — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:46:13 -0800

Why don't we have any sort of statement as to what he was doing for the last five years (did I miss a link?). Needs more followup. :(

By: kuujjuarapik

kuujjuarapik — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:59:49 -0800

I remember doing the time warp.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:05:36 -0800

His appearance coincides with quonsar's disappearance. There's something fishy about that.

By: Elmore

Elmore — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:11:06 -0800

Fishy, you say? Someone should check this guys pants.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:12:45 -0800

Yes, moving away after your spouse has been missing for over 5 years and is presumed dead is definitely a sign of suspicion. Yes, because that's the only thing about it that was suspicious. Not the bank account activity of a presumed dead man with amnesia, or the timeliness of his return with her departure, or as you mentioned the vagaries surrounding her current whereabouts. and yes, leaving the country 5 years after a spouse's disappearance is actually out of the ordinary, insofar as people ordinarily do what they have to to get by in their own country. not that that condemns her off the bat, but it IS suspicious.

By: OmieWise

OmieWise — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:13:39 -0800

Mad Traveler. Which is another way to talk about dissociative fugue.

By: neuron

neuron — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:30:58 -0800

This sort of thing happened with a guy I was acquainted with 20 years ago. Apparently, during his amnestic state, he forgot that he was heterosexual.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:32:17 -0800

All these years of sad Neighbours addiction has not been in vain... I recognised a Harold Bishop joke!

By: T.D. Strange

T.D. Strange — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:44:30 -0800

Quantum leap. Mystery solved.

By: ericb

ericb — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:55:45 -0800

And then there was Piano Man -- Andreas Grassl.

By: ericb

ericb — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:58:01 -0800

Previous Piano Man threads - 1, 2.

By: spock

spock — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:48:02 -0800

I'm guessing he somehow fell through some rabbit hole into the future and it took him five years to stumble into the return to the present. Of course he can't remember the last 5 years. They haven't happened yet.

By: LobsterMitten

LobsterMitten — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:08:54 -0800

Wow. I love the Britishness of the guy's dad, who is glad he's back but was apparently doing a champ job stiff-upper-lipping his absence for the intervening years.

By: Acey

Acey — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:17:03 -0800

What, no reference to Paris, Texas? I'm ashamed to be a member of metafilter.

By: uncanny hengeman

uncanny hengeman — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:18:23 -0800

No memory, my ass. Another recent one. How's THIS for an excuse! Mayor Resigns, Claims Abduction By Satan Worshippers Apologies if that's already linked somewhere. I'm at work, and only got 5 minutes to spare.

By: mecran01

mecran01 — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 16:32:47 -0800

I bet this is a promo for Journeyman.

By: A189Nut

A189Nut — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 17:03:25 -0800

I am impressed by the total lack of sympathy here and the willingness to turn this poor man and his family's situation into fodder for cheap jokes. Keep it up.

By: uncanny hengeman

uncanny hengeman — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:02:43 -0800

A189Nut. Read between the lines. A few of us here think the man might be completely full of shit. So to with the idiot in my link above. Erm. Unless I'm failing to see the joke in your post!

By: LobsterMitten

LobsterMitten — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:18:18 -0800

A189Nut, also sometimes "wow" just means "that is a helluva thing", no positive or negative about it.

By: Falconetti

Falconetti — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 22:01:32 -0800

Apparently, during his amnestic state, he forgot that he was heterosexual. That happened to me once after 12 beers.

By: Webbster

Webbster — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 11:05:57 -0800

Alright I retract my original statement. This one has just got a whole lot weird. His wife sold their house a few weeks before and ~~legged it~~ moved to Panama City. She's just done a Facebook suicide too. There are also mentions about them running up debts and the missing man applied for a credit card, using his home address, last year. This was what I thought was going to be a minor item, but now it's got legs...

By: uncanny hengeman

uncanny hengeman — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 23:26:01 -0800

My bullshit detector is working as well as ever (although this one was a bit of a no-brainer, really). British police arrest 'dead' canoeist

By: Elmore

Elmore — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 04:06:27 -0800

He posed for a picture with his wife in 2006 that he apparently knew was going to be used on the website of the company Move to Panama. Genius. [warning: link is to the Mirror website]

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 08:47:52 -0800

A man, a plan a canal--Panama! He lived as a devil, eh?

By: ericb

ericb — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 09:20:56 -0800

Reports: 'Dead' man hid in home for 3 years

"'For three years, while virtually everyone close to us believed John was missing presumed dead, he was actually at home with me,' Anne Darwin, who recently left Britain for central America, told the Daily Mirror. 'We were living as man and wife, although it was far from a conventional life,' she added. 'There were a few hairy moments and I lived in fear of being found out,' she told the Daily Mail in another interview. She said Darwin had talked to her before his disappearance about faking his death as a way to solve financial problems."

By: uncanny hengeman

uncanny hengeman — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 18:28:43 -0800

Well oil beef hooked. I wuz only just thinkin' about this chappie's similar disappearance. McAuley, 39, was attempting to be the first person to kayak solo across the Tasman Sea. But on February 9, within sight of New Zealand, the Australian released a garbled distress call. His empty kayak was found the next day but McAuley's body was never recovered.