IdiocracyWatch

December 5, 2007 9:50 PM

The omens and portents are appearing in your fridge and on your boob tube...Idiocracy is coming to pass.

The Brawndo thing isn't a dupe; this time it appears to be an actual drink. Will plants crave it? For that matter, will trial-by-combat make a comeback?

posted by codswallop (66 comments total)

American Gladiators? Not that that's not totally awesome, but Ben Silverman apparently does not have an original bone in his body.
posted by dhammond at 9:54 PM on December 5, 2007

...but it's got what plant's crave?

Brought to you by Carl's Jr.
posted by PenDevil at 9:56 PM on December 5, 2007

Yeah. I like money though.
posted by ALongDecember at 9:56 PM on December 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

I was an avid watcher of American Gladiators back in the day, and I'm not an idiot!

I have no idea what those links have to do with one another. Is THAT what makes me an idiot?
posted by amyms at 10:01 PM on December 5, 2007

Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

Every single time I pass a Carl's Jr., I hear their future motto.

Every. Single. Time.

Anyone want a Tarrylton?
posted by codswallop at 10:03 PM on December 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

"... viewers will be given a glimpse of their personalities prior to the actual competish."

Competish? Seriously? Someone wrote that for publication?
posted by majick at 10:05 PM on December 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

majick: Variety tends to write in their own slang. They refer to networks and studios via nicknames such as "the eye", "the alphabet", "the mouse".

Brought to you by Carl's Jr.
posted by PenDevil at 10:10 PM on December 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

That video on the brawndo site is way down tempo. It needs to be at least twice as fast on the delivery to reach its full comedy potential.
posted by TheJoven at 10:27 PM on December 5, 2007

Welcome to Costco. I love you.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:45 PM on December 5, 2007 [4 favorites]

"It's truly what's not in the TV landscape right now. While everyone's zigging, I'm attracted to doing a zag."

Please be attracted into zagging right into the business end of a swinging crowbar, you douche.
posted by quite unimportant at 10:46 PM on December 5, 2007

huh?
posted by mrnutty at 10:54 PM on December 5, 2007

Yes, majick, I too would like to take a big swig of Brawndo and smash Variety into little pieces for their obnoxious slang.
posted by papakwanz at 11:02 PM on December 5, 2007

Okay, Brawndo is marketing for the movie "Idiocracy". And the Idiocracy links talk about "Idiocracy". But what does American Gladiator have to do with it?
Or is this whole post about how dumb American Gladiator is using an abundance of Idiocracy links?
posted by mrnutty at 11:05 PM on December 5, 2007

I can't be the only person who caught that Brawndo is being made by Omni Consumer Products, right?
posted by DoomGerbil at 11:12 PM on December 5, 2007

I think that the President in Idiocracy was an ex-American Gladiator. And that's the point. I think.
posted by Bookhouse at 11:29 PM on December 5, 2007

It's got...electrolytes....?
posted by ninazer0 at 11:39 PM on December 5, 2007

Does it unleash the power of apples?

Is that drink for real?!!! Or is it a made up drink for a movie?

I liked all the made up brands in Cars. They made me happy.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 11:44 PM on December 5, 2007

Pepsi OW MY BALLS!
posted by loquacious at 11:51 PM on December 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

It's got what plants cravings...
posted by wendell at 11:51 PM on December 5, 2007

Go away! Batin'!
posted by ninazer0 at 12:10 AM on December 6, 2007 [2 favorites]

Should I want to tazer it?
posted by From Bklyn at 12:25 AM on December 6, 2007

While everyone's zigging, I'm attracted to doing a zag.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:36 AM on December 6, 2007

DON'T TAZE ME BRO!
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 12:56 AM on December 6, 2007

I want to win at yelling!
posted by Jilder at 1:42 AM on December 6, 2007

The Brawndo ad made me laugh my ass off. Does that mean I'm an idiot?
posted by zardoz at 2:03 AM on December 6, 2007

If laughing my ass off at that ad makes me an idiot, I don't wanna be smart!
posted by Koko at 4:00 AM on December 6, 2007

I want to finish the article before posting, but phrases like this -

"Net wouldn't confirm the episodic order, but at least six segs are believed to be in the works."

- are making it tough. "Six segs?" Fuck you. Type "ments," you fucking ponce.
posted by EatTheWeak at 4:36 AM on December 6, 2007 [3 favorites]

Yeah, well, I really don't think we have time for a hand job, Joe.
posted by Cookiebastard at 4:52 AM on December 6, 2007 [2 favorites]

I can't be the only person who caught that Brawndo is being made by Omni Consumer Products, right?

No, I saw that too.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:04 AM on December 6, 2007 [2 favorites]

> But what does American Gladiator have to do with it?

In 'Idiocracy', Reality TV-type shows are more or less the model for not only entertainment in the future, but pretty much everything. Everybody and everything bears product endorsements. Courtroom trials include a studio audience and lawyers mugging for the camera, and death penalties are delivered by combat using videogame-style weaponry and vehicles. So whether or not it's actually namechecked in the movie, 'American Gladiators' can be considered a sign of the apocalypse, alongside energy drinks and barcaloungers with built-in plumbing.

That's about as helpful as this thread's gonna get. I'm going back to the Tyme Masheen.
posted by ardgedee at 5:14 AM on December 6, 2007

Maybe I'd buy Brawndo... if it came in a ROCKET CAN!
posted by JDHarper at 5:23 AM on December 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

A new incarnation of American Gladiators? Bill Hicks must be laughing and coughing his ass off in heaven.
posted by sudasana at 5:28 AM on December 6, 2007

And here you got me all excited about an Idiocracy TV series. I was imagining something brilliant that ruthlessly mocked its viewers, its network, and its advertisers with endless fake reality TV and fake commercials and 5-minute episodes of OW MY BALLS until it was smothered in its crib by its own network after five episodes.
posted by xthlc at 5:42 AM on December 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

So, did Brawndo rip off the Powerthirst ad or just hire its creators?
posted by the sobsister at 5:48 AM on December 6, 2007

Yeah. I like money though.

I can't believe you like money too. We should hang out.
posted by General Malaise at 6:11 AM on December 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

This post is terrible. You are terrible.
posted by unixrat at 6:22 AM on December 6, 2007

Whoa! Hey, I like money too! A lot!! You all must have gradu- . . . gradi- . . . uh . . . gone to school at Costco!! Am I right?

That's totally cool!! Fuck you very much! I mean it!! Let's go to Starbucks, dude!!!



Brought to you by Carl's Jr.
posted by deejay jaydee at 6:42 AM on December 6, 2007

I weep.
posted by briank at 6:47 AM on December 6, 2007

sobsister, I betcha Brawndo is Powerthirst.
posted by emelenjr at 6:52 AM on December 6, 2007

Sounds like the triumph of Bonnie Hammer over at the new NBC-U.

Looks like she's brought her *special* kind of magic to the big corporate amalgam and she'll remain employed for longer than a large segment of the viewing audience will be comfortable.
posted by vhsiv at 7:02 AM on December 6, 2007

This has to be the Powerthirst guys, it's one thing to rip off a concept, but it's the same voice and execution. If it's a style copy, it's a damn uncanny one.

Also for all the laughs about Brawndo and Idiocracy, I will note that it doesn't have HFCS.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:12 AM on December 6, 2007

So, did Brawndo rip off the Powerthirst ad or just hire its creators?

They hired them.
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 7:18 AM on December 6, 2007

I will note that it doesn't have HFCS

Worthless bilge, then.
posted by chlorus at 7:33 AM on December 6, 2007

I'll admit it, I wouldn't mind a guitar army.
posted by drezdn at 7:36 AM on December 6, 2007

Who would like some EXTRA BIGASS TACOS?
posted by mcstayinskool at 8:15 AM on December 6, 2007

Metafilter: Fuck you, I'm eating.
posted by deadmessenger at 8:22 AM on December 6, 2007

On a side note Mrs. Hexxed and I saw that movie, and since then we cannot stop noticing how spot on it is. Recently after a "friends" thanksgiving I ended up in a bar where there were at least 30 guys glued to a TV with some sort of monster truck thing going on. I do live in Wisconsin so that could explain some of it, but after that I have started to seriously consider moving.
posted by hexxed at 8:23 AM on December 6, 2007

Wait, I'm confused. This OCP seems to be similar yet different from Robocop's?

maybe I just need an upgrayed...
posted by butterstick at 8:41 AM on December 6, 2007

so is this an attempt by the production studio to recoup some of the money spent on Idiocracy?

budget: $25-35MM
revenue: $444,000

that's a lot of Brawndo.
posted by spish at 9:00 AM on December 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

..and i betcha it's made with pure Dihydrogen Monoxide.
posted by spish at 9:02 AM on December 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

This just proves that Idiocracy should be mandatory viewing.

We could all learn something from the inspirational national addresses bestowed by President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:08 AM on December 6, 2007

On a side note Mrs. Hexxed and I saw that movie, and since then we cannot stop noticing how spot on it is.

Truly this is a movie which, while initially amusing, becomes more and more prescient the more you think about it.

That said, I am most definitely getting the gentleman's tax rebate next year.
posted by biscotti at 9:09 AM on December 6, 2007

I'm loving this, mostly because it contains the best idiocy in marketing I've ever seen. Complete contempt for the consumer. It's beautiful.

From the product page for the actual drink:

Lemon Lime, 200mg caffeine, Taurine, Inositol, Guarana, Electrolytes – NO high fructose corn syrup, Carbonated, Bright Green, 16oz.cans, 200 MG Caffiene plus Potassium, Vitamins B6, B12 and C. Get what plants crave... Brawndo. Make your hair bigger. Crush more skulls. Live like a Viking.

That last part is great. Live like a viking. Techno viking.



Metafilter: That's where I'm a viking.
posted by daq at 10:00 AM on December 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

Wake me up when Starbuck's starts making Happy Ending Lattes.
posted by gottabefunky at 10:17 AM on December 6, 2007

The competition skein -- which featured players with names like Nitro, Turbo and Laser in its campy, early '90s syndie incarnation -- will be updated for the 21st century with new technology and twists. MGM TV, which was behind the original hit, is producing along with Reveille.

In other words, it too will be campy and dated within ten or fifteen years.
posted by brundlefly at 10:36 AM on December 6, 2007

Techno viking is my new god.
posted by wires at 10:41 AM on December 6, 2007

Don't worry, scrote, there's plenty of tards out there living really kickass lives. My first wife was tarded. She's a pilot now.
posted by jefbla at 11:24 AM on December 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

..and i betcha it's made with pure Dihydrogen Monoxide.

You mean like from a toilet?
posted by champthom at 11:28 AM on December 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: Your shits all fucked up and you're retarded.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 11:46 AM on December 6, 2007

[Favorite Idiocracy quote here, followed by an observation that the OCP website's links don't go anywhere.]
--The Smartest Guy in the World
posted by not_on_display at 11:48 AM on December 6, 2007

Can I get Brawndo at ButtFuckers? That's my favorite restaurant.
posted by Parannoyed at 12:51 PM on December 6, 2007

You're all talking like fags and your shit's all retarded.
posted by revmitcz at 2:39 PM on December 6, 2007

sobsister, I betcha Brawndo is Powerthirst.

Ergo, Brawndo is crystal meth in a can.
posted by JDHarper at 2:53 PM on December 6, 2007

I like to believe that it is some distant descendant of mine, who far into the Idocracy future, decides that the police should be armed with grenade launchers.

I hope his name is something like Switchblade Mountain Dew. That would rule.
posted by quin at 3:18 PM on December 6, 2007

Ow, my balls!
posted by Mental Wimp at 3:26 PM on December 6, 2007

Shit, I thought there was... uh, a lot of you.
posted by anotherbrick at 7:42 AM on December 7, 2007