Incompatibility between French bread and German Nutella

December 7, 2007 7:37 AM

Are you a Nutella connoisseur? Can you tell the difference between French and German Nutella? An informative 4 minute lesson on YouTube.
posted by Wolfdog (48 comments total)

Timely post Wolfdog

I see that Nutella received a "shonky award" from Australiad respected Choice magazine.

Too much fat, too much sugar, not enough hazelnut, but just the right amount of advertising.
posted by mattoxic at 7:41 AM on December 7, 2007

Australiad=Australias
posted by mattoxic at 7:42 AM on December 7, 2007

2 girls, 1 cup - of Nutella!
posted by CynicalKnight at 7:46 AM on December 7, 2007 [2 favorites]

Wolfdog: you know , now that Ferrero loves you, you may need protection. You know, protection......there are a lot of people full of envy , these scums ! Let your italian friend protect you for a very small fee.

Also , Nutella. Did I mention Nutella ? Nutella looks like diahoreea, you say ? Nutella smells like diahorrea you think ? Nutella tastes like....ok ok :) Nutella and diahoreea, what's the difference again ? Would you Nutella your diahorrea ? What is diahorrea , you say ? It's the nutella you do in the bathroom when you run. Did I mention Nutella diahorrea ?

Let's do a scientific test between french nutella shit and german nutella shit ! It's for science !
posted by elpapacito at 8:02 AM on December 7, 2007 [2 favorites]

But how does Australian Nutella compare to French, German, and USian Nutella? I demand a followup. (I suspect that US Nutella is more like the French stuff. Wonder bread is more like baguette than it is like MDF. Or German brot.)
posted by uncleozzy at 8:03 AM on December 7, 2007

Nutella in US is unspreadable at 65F. At temperatures in the 70s it begins to behave like the French Nutella in the video, and can be spread safely even on (dozens of) delicate palacsinta without damage.
posted by Wolfdog at 8:06 AM on December 7, 2007

French Nutella tastes more sweater?
posted by afx237vi at 8:09 AM on December 7, 2007

Oh man, Nutella is the heroin of carbs. It's exquisitely delicious. Can't have a jar in the apartment, would simply mainline it.

Enjoyed that video Wolfdog. It was quite interesting to see the differences and the conclusion.

There's a Turkish sweet hazelnut butter that is also delish and much cheaper.

Enjoyed the English mistakes in the video, like at :50, "German Nutella is matted". Huh, Nutella dreadlocks? French Nutella is "sweater and nuttier", cute, can see little a Nutella twin set acting crazy and German Nutella "has a stronger consistence", (presumably meaning thicker consistency) something Germanic about that image.
posted by nickyskye at 8:10 AM on December 7, 2007 [2 favorites]

I'll be honest: I usually eat Nutella straight from the jar with a spoon, or else I dunk animal crackers in it. So I've got only the vaguest concept of its texture.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:11 AM on December 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm not certain if they have changed the recipe (unlike those Readybrek bastards) but Nutella is one of those things I'm sure tasted better as a kid.

I'll have to see how the British Nutella compares next time I go to the shops (which I've not got any of in the house and I'm now jonesing for... damn you Wolfdog)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:14 AM on December 7, 2007

Now surely you understand why French and German Nutella can't have the same consistence.

Uhhh, no. We clearly saw that if Germany would have the same Nutella as France, there would be no problem.

The question remains, why is German Nutella so thick? Was it made there first and then the recipe modified for France because of the bread? If it was imported from outside of Germany first you would think there would have been no need to modify the recipe at all.
posted by splice at 8:26 AM on December 7, 2007

*a little Nutella twin set

Blaming my typo on drooling and jonesing for a sweet, thick, chocolatey nutty yumminess. Making up for my error with this handful of Nutella recipes. Oooh, Nutella crepes. mmmm. Nutella drizzled over sauteed banana. Hot Nutella cocoa. ahhh. Strawberries dipped in Nutella. For mainling layers of carbs...nuke marshmallows, put them plus Nutella between two slices of french toast. Nutella mousse. Nutella brownies. Nutella gelato (via this fun traveling mom who loves food blog).

History of Nutella.
posted by nickyskye at 8:46 AM on December 7, 2007 [3 favorites]

All I know is that it anyone who can visit Paris without eating at least one Nutella crepe is a much stronger soul than I. Oh jesus I want one.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:49 AM on December 7, 2007

"Our German friend must use some force."

Heh.

Thanks for the recipes, nickyskye. They should make for some nice post-finals treats.
posted by jedicus at 8:50 AM on December 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

A proper German Nutella-Brot needs a layer of butter.
posted by muckster at 8:52 AM on December 7, 2007

From nikyskye's history link...

Nutella is marketed in over 75 countries across the
globe, and outsells all brands of peanut butter
combined worldwide!

Isn't that because peanut butter is considered deeply weird in large parts of the world, including Italy where Nutella was created?
posted by piratebowling at 9:13 AM on December 7, 2007

Oh man, Nutella is the heroin of carbs. It's exquisitely delicious. Can't have a jar in the apartment, would simply mainline it.

Oh me too nickyskye, me too. I think I need to stay out of grocery stores for the next 24 hours thanks to that video!
posted by DiscourseMarker at 9:34 AM on December 7, 2007

I reckon that the German Nutella had been kept in the fridge and this is all a hoax....
posted by zeoslap at 9:39 AM on December 7, 2007

I can attest to the fact that a short obsession with sandwiches of nutella and marshmallow fluff is responsible for at least five pounds of my weight. I don't allow it in the house anymore, as I'd eat them until I got sick.
posted by mrbill at 9:39 AM on December 7, 2007

I think that in my case, connoisseur would be too refined a word. I, too, cannot have Nutella in my house. The spoon and jar method is indeed perilous. But mere "peril" cannot describe the sweet devastation which will follow the discovery of nutella reserves beneath the Earth's mantle.

To some, February 6 marks the signing of the Treaty of Paris, the birth of Bernoilli, the invention of the Integrated Circuit, the birth of Ronald Reagan (and Bob Marley), or the day of Dorothea, patron saint of florists. But to me, it will always be World Nutella day.
posted by honest knave at 9:47 AM on December 7, 2007

"French Nutella tastes more sweater?"

That really depends on where you choose to spread it.
posted by Mike D at 9:48 AM on December 7, 2007

Nutella crepes! So delicious, they are worth a ticket to Europe almost by themselves...
Glad to know I'm not the only one.
posted by gemmy at 9:51 AM on December 7, 2007

Nutella crepes are a NYC summer street fair staple. People walking down the avenues among the vending booths with chocolate goo all over their faces and big smiles.

piratebowling, Interesting that nut and seed butters are compartmentalized into countries. I never tasted Nutella until living in Italy in 1975. Now it's global. Never tasted tahini (sesame seed butter), which is incredibly delicious on all kinds of things until the 1980's in NYC.

A few other nut and seed butters that are yummy, sweet or salty:
Joyva's tahini, mmm (Just found out that is not an Indian in a turban on the can, it's a Russian image of a Turkish sultan). Inexpensive and adds major deliciousness to broccoli or other steamed veggies.
sunflower seed butter
pumpkin seed butter

Interesting but inedible: hemp seed butter.
posted by nickyskye at 9:53 AM on December 7, 2007

Nutella is one of those foods that is just waiting for a conditioned taste aversion to happen. You know, where you really like some kind of food, and overeat it to massive excess one time, and then you can never touch the stuff again.

It seems like flavored Crisco to me. But, my kids love the stuff. Warm, on a crepe.
posted by cogneuro at 10:04 AM on December 7, 2007

Ungh shut up. I have a jar of nutella in my back room where I have beena ble to forget about it for months. (Costco sells a 2-pack and I am prone to horrible lapses in judgment.)

I just like it on sourdough toast or a spoon.

nickyskye, out here in California the new renovations to Safeway grocery stores feature a huge Grind-yer-own nut butter bar, with chocolate and cinnamon flavors and other combos never before imaginied. It's ludicrous and wonderful and I think I might have to stop there on the way home from work.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:17 AM on December 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

I haven't had Nutella since, well, forever.

On a very recent trip to Argentina, for some weird reason, I picked up a jar of it in the local Disco supermarket, and it sat on the kitchen counter of the apartment I was renting for at least a week. Then I got some honey cookies at the same supermarket, brought them back to the apartment, and put them next to the Nutella. A day or two later, I opened the package of cookies, opened the Nutella, spread the stuff on the cookies and went into one of the most intense sugar shocks of my adult life. Jesus on a chocolate barge of badness, this shit is dope made legal. And all this in a country where the ice cream is made from the nectar of gorgeous Goddesses. I suspect that if anyone ever figures out how to make Nutella ice cream in Buenos Aires, they will be bigger than Microsoft.
posted by dbiedny at 10:34 AM on December 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

I quit eating Nutella right around the same time I quit smoking pot.

Man oh man I used to love that stuff.
posted by ook at 11:00 AM on December 7, 2007

Too much fat, too much sugar

I understand the individual words, but they don't make any sense put together like that.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:01 AM on December 7, 2007 [5 favorites]

I make Nutella ice cream by putting Nutella on ice cream.
posted by Wolfdog at 11:08 AM on December 7, 2007

Two words: Nutella gelato.
posted by cogneuro at 11:38 AM on December 7, 2007

I'd like to add that Karambolage, the TV this video was taken from, is a great show. They study all kind of cultural differences between German and French. They deal with stereotypes, mutual misunderstanding, and national weird habits, in a way that makes you at least understand what you can't. I think it would deserve a youtube-rich post on its own.

As a side note, I don't agree with they bread oriented theory. French people usually eat baguette-like bread, which could easily withstand the german Nutella.
posted by denpo at 11:41 AM on December 7, 2007

Nutella gelato.

An italian ice joint around here makes Nutella cream ice (not water ice), and it's fantastic. Whole hazelnuts and everything. Get a scoop of Nutella, scoop of, say, coconut, and that's a flavor party right there.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:49 AM on December 7, 2007

*******CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION*******
******* DO NOT TRY AT HOME *******

I have been known to eat Reeces Peanut Butter cups dipped in Nutella.

It seems wrong, but is very tasty.

Some people might want to follow them with an insulin chaser.
posted by Lord_Pall at 11:57 AM on December 7, 2007

Remember OpenCola ? Make your own Nutella with more delicious hazelnut, or just the way u like it, but cheaper and slightly healthier. And if you can read french, more power to you and OpenNutella
posted by elpapacito at 12:12 PM on December 7, 2007 [3 favorites]

Too much fat, too much sugar, not enough hazelnut, but just the right amount of yummyness.

Fixed for the fools who work at Australian Choice magazine
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:28 PM on December 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

Let's do a scientific test between french nutella shit and german nutella shit ! It's for science !

The French Nutella shit lands in a hole in the ground, whereas the German Nutella shit lands on a little shelf for the shitter's inspection.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:35 PM on December 7, 2007 [3 favorites]

You folks don't know from heroin until you have tried the nutella latte at Boston's Paris Creperie. Yes, that's right, I said Nutella latte.

You don't consume it; it consumes you.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 1:26 PM on December 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

Nuttela spread on hobnobs... basically the speedball of the addictive snack world. I'm getting the chills just thinking about it.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:11 PM on December 7, 2007

I too am guilty of mainlining Nutella when I have it around the house. However, I always regret doing it because ultimately nothing beats the flavour explosion that is Nutella spread on a buttered bread. And I'm talking decent real bread here, not the plastic-wrapped floppy supermarket crap. And of course high-quality butter. My favourite as a kid was to put it on poppyseed breadrolls!
posted by Hairy Lobster at 2:22 PM on December 7, 2007

PeterMcDermott writes "The French Nutella shit lands in a hole in the ground, whereas the German Nutella shit lands on a little shelf for the shitter's inspection."

That would be turkish hole in which the turkish nutella shit lands ! But I concour the german platform for nutella shit , it's somehow worse. Anyway, you may have noticed that the excreta produced after eating nutella stick to the john in the grossest way :< ! I mean, what shit is in that shit nutella ? Really, no shit.
posted by elpapacito at 4:29 PM on December 7, 2007

Horace: Wow. Must try now.
posted by honest knave at 4:33 PM on December 7, 2007

Pretzel rods + Nutella.
posted by wafaa at 8:10 PM on December 7, 2007

Conversation in our house just now:

me: Oh yay! I'm not the only person on the planet that has such little self restraint that I will stand in front of the cupboard with a spoon in one hand & a jar of nutella in the other & eat it until I'm sick! Hoorah!
mr.beeswax: Oh, I thought that was normal. That's not normal?

Damn. Now I really really want some nutella. I've been good so long...
posted by susanbeeswax at 10:18 PM on December 7, 2007

Now look what you've made me go and do.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:56 PM on December 7, 2007

If you don't have time for making crepes, Nutella spread on half of a flour tortilla, fold tortilla, heat in frying pan 'til tortilla is slightly crispy. Even less time? put Nutella tortilla in microwave for 30 seconds instead. Either way, bliss. Three please.
posted by andihazelwood at 1:30 AM on December 8, 2007

I reckon that the German Nutella had been kept in the fridge and this is all a hoax....

I suspect this too. I've had German Nutella and I'm pretty sure it's not that thick at room temperature. Incidentally, my nan always kept Nutella in the fridge, which made it impossible to spread on any bread, but all the more fun to eat with a spoon...

A proper German Nutella-Brot needs a layer of butter.

Also totally agree with this (ooh YUM!!! fat overload!) but my friend in Munich had never heard of this and didn't like it when she tried.
posted by ClarissaWAM at 5:32 AM on December 8, 2007

I don't think we're all using the same definition of "mainlining" here.
posted by tehloki at 12:04 PM on December 8, 2007

That would be turkish hole in which the turkish nutella shit lands

There's a photograph of the French 'Stand and Deliver' Nutella disposal facility here on the Wikipedia page on the subject.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:17 PM on December 8, 2007