4 Star Review of the Bic Crystal

December 9, 2007 9:35 PM

(****) "Very good if you need to write on paper" Just in time for holiday giving. (Now if only I could find it on this side of the pond.)
posted by spock (29 comments total)

Even if you had used that pen to write this post it wouldn't have saved it.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 9:43 PM on December 9, 2007 [3 favorites]

Will this work on 8 & 1/2" x 11" US Paper, or is it for use with A4 size only?
posted by papakwanz at 9:43 PM on December 9, 2007

Oh you people are no fun. Dry British wit about pens -- it's great!

ok, yes, the post is lame
posted by papakwanz at 9:49 PM on December 9, 2007

Flagged for what? It's an amazingly detailed review of a 30 cent BIC pen. I rather liked it.
posted by reformedjerk at 9:49 PM on December 9, 2007

Flagged as hilarious.
posted by dhammond at 9:54 PM on December 9, 2007

Perhaps you would prefer more schlock about the 2008 U.S. Presidential Elections?
posted by spock at 9:54 PM on December 9, 2007

The cool thing is that the metatalk thread was already going strong before the post was even made.
posted by tkolar at 9:55 PM on December 9, 2007

Owing to my rising socioeconomic status I think I am ready to make the bold move on to fifty cent pens. I wonder if Mr. Williams can recommend something in that price range.
posted by clevershark at 9:57 PM on December 9, 2007

I enjoy writing with my pen alongside a glass of 4-star Tuscan Whole Milk.
posted by dhammond at 9:58 PM on December 9, 2007

kill biccy!
posted by camdan at 9:58 PM on December 9, 2007

Even funnier if you've read a few pen reviews.


Disclaimer: I hate disposable pens. I paid more for my pen than my blackberry, but then my pen didn't come with a rebate.
posted by b1tr0t at 10:07 PM on December 9, 2007

Pen Reviews

wtf, self
posted by b1tr0t at 10:08 PM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Bic pen art
posted by craniac at 10:15 PM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Don't you have a Livejournal to put this on? A Twitter account? Something like that?
posted by Epenthesis at 10:29 PM on December 9, 2007

Good pens are wonderful. Good cheap pens are extra good. I've gone through most of the kinds of pens I can find at my local drug stores. I've taken trips to the local non-chain stationary stores. I check jetpens about once a week I want there to be more discussion of cheap pens in the world. Maybe this reviewer doesn't actually share my love of pens but someone out there on the web does and some day I will find them.
posted by rdr at 10:39 PM on December 9, 2007

I found the comments to that pen review quite amusing. (****)
posted by moonbiter at 10:40 PM on December 9, 2007

I didn't even know that pen had a name. I always figured even the people in the factory just called them "Goddamn Bic Ballpoint Pens." The fact that some marketing flunky even bothered to sit around and come up with a name for it strikes me as faintly hilarious.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:56 PM on December 9, 2007

[This is an Amazon review]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:58 PM on December 9, 2007

Another hilarious reviews of his!
posted by TwelveTwo at 11:14 PM on December 9, 2007

Perhaps you would prefer more schlock about the 2008 U.S. Presidential Elections?

Speaking only for myself, I would prefer less schlock of all varieties, from election-oriented schlock to amazon-oriented schlock.
posted by dersins at 11:36 PM on December 9, 2007

It's all right, but it's no Tuscan Whole Milk.
posted by katillathehun at 12:00 AM on December 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

**

Upon first reading this reviewer's assessment of the medium point Bic Crystal ballpoint pen, I found myself highly amused; it appeared to be a bit of wry, good-natured satire, and I looked forward to seeing more from this author. I'm sorry to report, readers, that forays into his other works have led to a reevaluation of my initial judgment and forced me to the disappointing realization that the seemingly glittering nuance and subtle humor to be found in the Bic Crystal piece is in reality an artifact of the reader's own wit and imagination more than any clever craftsmanship on the part of Mr. Williams. Take for example, his later work on the subject of the Braun 360 Degree Complete 8995 Clean&Renew. With great anticipation, I savored the promise inherent in the title, "Brill" - and settled in for a good read and a bit of a smile. Unfortunately, Mr. Williams not only failed to deliver a "razor's edge" of style and humor, I'm afraid I couldn't even carry on further than the "awful razor rash" bit of the plot.

No, I'm sorry to say that the Bic Crystal offering is probably nothing more than a flash in the pan, and I cannot in good faith recommend this review to readers who hope to find, as one other reviewer of this reviewer enthused, "Dry British wit about pens". Look elsewhere, seekers.
posted by taz at 12:23 AM on December 10, 2007 [3 favorites]

Cliff Pickover posted a link to this fine book that contains some fun reviews.
posted by Tube at 12:30 AM on December 10, 2007

I know someone who worked at amazon.co.uk processing the reviews and, basically, if you want to be negative about anything at all it needs to be funny. If not then it gets rejected. Unless they were behind on their workload, in which case they just approved and rejected at random.
posted by gatchaman at 3:38 AM on December 10, 2007

Anyone know where this originated? I saw it referenced in the latest B3ta newsletter, but presumably it's had a wider audience than that already...
posted by Chunder at 4:20 AM on December 10, 2007

Pepsi black.
posted by grouse at 5:32 AM on December 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

There are many humorous "reviews" on Amazon.

This is one of them.
posted by languagehat at 5:35 AM on December 10, 2007

There are many humorous "reviews" on Amazon.

I always liked some of the ones for Uranium Ore.
posted by Hal Mumkin at 6:04 AM on December 10, 2007

The comments are great, too.

"I often use pencils to write notes on paper, but have been thinking about changing to a pen. Is this pen a good starting point for a novice?"
posted by Rock Steady at 6:21 AM on December 10, 2007