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Bonnie and Clyde my ass...
December 11, 2007 10:14 AM   Subscribe

"This story would be nothing without the photos"

Regina Medina and Jill Porter just appeared on Radio Times this afternoon, and I was struck by their intrest in the mass psychology of it all.
posted by butterstick (84 comments total)

 
The electronic age Bonnie & Clyde are however in no danger of dying in a barrage of bullets.
posted by wendell at 10:23 AM on December 11, 2007


I like think of myself as reasonably abreast of current events, but I had no idea who these people were. Severe TV deficiency or just obliviousness?
posted by DU at 10:32 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


The electronic age Bonnie & Clyde are however in no danger of dying in a barrage of bullets.

Sort of a shame.
posted by The World Famous at 10:33 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


It's tabloid news DU, don't feel bad.
posted by butterstick at 10:36 AM on December 11, 2007


It's pretty much nothing with them, too.
posted by Dave Faris at 10:37 AM on December 11, 2007


Is there a better-written article anywhere about these two? I'm intrigued...
posted by Lillitatiana at 10:41 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


abreast of current events

Is that like "a murder of crows" or "a parliament of owls"?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 10:43 AM on December 11, 2007 [14 favorites]


Tabloid is right if these people are somehow comparable to Bonnie & Clyde.
posted by Brocktoon at 10:46 AM on December 11, 2007


non-tabloid version of the story here

Sorry, that probably shoulda been in the FPP.
posted by butterstick at 10:51 AM on December 11, 2007


Is that like "a murder of crows" or "a parliament of owls"?

A buxom of molls.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:51 AM on December 11, 2007 [4 favorites]


Beautiful people commit serious crime? Oh, how charming! Do you think they'll get their own TV show? Or maybe an apology tour? Maybe at their press conference outside the courtroom where they are acquitted (because beautiful people don't go to jail, silly) they'll tell how how they just want to get on with their lives.

And maybe from a rooftop 1500 yards away a sniper will do us all a favor.

If these beautiful people had stolen my identity, hell if they had broken into my apartment to eat a Godiva chocolate, I would have used them to make a combined sequel to Se7en and Saw. I'm thinking they could both use a Liquid Plumbr exfoliation.

If she wasn't hot, or at least, many men's definition of hot, who would care?

Well, this being a Philadelphia story, if they were overweight ethnic minorities, they would have merited a 60 second story on the local news and would already be doing hard time. So I guess no one would care except the DA who disappears them.
posted by Pastabagel at 11:09 AM on December 11, 2007


stupidsexyFlanders writes "Is that like 'a murder of crows' or 'a parliament of owls'?"

A business of ferrets.
posted by mullingitover at 11:10 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


Pastabagel: If they weren't so called beautiful people then you wouldn't loathe them so much...
posted by zeoslap at 11:18 AM on December 11, 2007


Um, Pastabagel? Your issues are showing.
posted by Bookhouse at 11:19 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


A foetor of Cthulhu.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:20 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


Sounds like someone still hasn't escaped from the locker he was stuffed into in high school.
posted by DU at 11:22 AM on December 11, 2007


A Snark of Mefites.
posted by Rumple at 11:24 AM on December 11, 2007 [7 favorites]


Beautiful people commit serious crime?

Eh, I'd FPP it.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:24 AM on December 11, 2007


Interesting, I'd say that the story is still nothing with the pictures.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:30 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


Bonnie Parker.
posted by Floydd at 11:35 AM on December 11, 2007


I don't get it.
Is it that I'm old, or that junior criminals make off with tens of thousands of dollars over the course of a year just doesn't sound that impressive?

She's cute, absolutely, but I've always noticed the crazies be they sex-crazy or money-crazy, or lie-about-everything crazy or what-ever pathology rows their boat, the crazies always give off a funny smell. Sometimes it takes ten minutes to notice, sometimes two, sometimes it takes hours to start wafting around, but inevitably, as soon as it does, it gets to be overwhelming and soon you just can't cover the smell.

If you asked their neighbors I bet two thirds would say, confidentially, that there was something - off - about them. That I would be into reading.
posted by From Bklyn at 11:41 AM on December 11, 2007


I thought tabloids only covered people like Liz Taylor and Nostradomus. What tabloid talks about common criminals?
posted by zebra3 at 11:42 AM on December 11, 2007


There's something "off" about everybody, unless you sit right in the middle of the fucking Gaussian, in which case you're incredibly boring.
posted by snoktruix at 12:04 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


I loved this:

"My parents were asking her questions," said the former friend. Jocelyn told them she spoke 10 different languages and began to name them, Turkish, Czech, Lithuanian, Romanian, Russian, Arabic, when the friend interrupted.

The Arabic-language student asked doubtfully, "Arabic, really?"

"Arabic," Jocelyn said with certainty, the former friend recalled.

"Then, it clicked in her head that I spoke Arabic. She quickly changed and said 'I mean I speak Africaan,'" the classmate said. "If she spoke Arabic, she clearly would have told me beforehand."

posted by languagehat at 12:10 PM on December 11, 2007


From artc: “If she wasn't hot, or at least, many men's definition of hot, who would care?”
I don’t care now.

“Here are two good-looking people who came from good schools and money," Tony says, "and they're running around stealing from their friends”

As opposed to what? Good looks, education and money is supposed to engender some ability to reason morally?
I’ve found it’s typically the opposite.

“Is that like 'a murder of crows' or 'a parliament of owls'?”

A suite of Chets.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:11 PM on December 11, 2007


Since people normally covered by tabloids started being common criminals.

Once that line got blurred - well, why not find common criminals who have star potential? Not like we draw a distinction between famous and infamous anymore.
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:11 PM on December 11, 2007


Jeez, Bonnie Parker was short. Guess I've got Faye Dunaway burned on my brain right above her name.
posted by lodurr at 12:12 PM on December 11, 2007


Good looks, education and money is supposed to engender some ability to reason morally?

I think the point is that with all those advantages they could have made equal money in some legit fashion. People generally consider stealing to buy hair-extensions much worse than stealing to feed a starving child.
posted by betaray at 12:28 PM on December 11, 2007


They look really happy.
posted by cowbellemoo at 12:54 PM on December 11, 2007


A murder of clowns. A murder of babies. I just about won't pluralize anything unless I can do it with murder.
posted by hermitosis at 1:04 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


tidings of magpies
ostentation of peacocks
plump of wildfowl
unkindness of ravens
covey of pheasants (on the ground)
nide of pheasants (on the ground)
nye of pheasants (on the ground)
bouquet of pheasants (when flushed)
...

posted by willie11 at 1:13 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


If these beautiful people had stolen my identity, hell if they had broken into my apartment to eat a Godiva chocolate, I would have used them to make a combined sequel to Se7en and Saw. I'm thinking they could both use a Liquid Plumbr exfoliation.


You need professional help. You are no better than these people. In fact, I would wager these two people are much nicer than you are.
posted by wfc123 at 1:13 PM on December 11, 2007


A rash of prostitutes.
posted by barnacles at 1:14 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


Guess I've got Faye Dunaway burned on my brain right above her name.

And ultimately, don't we all prefer it that way? Hence the interest in this case because they're pretty people. For all pastabagel's melodrama (and I'm frequently guilty of that so I sympathize) he's right that if they were overweight minorities, they'd already be doing time and nobody would care.

I'd also posit that they wouldn't have gotten away with it for so long. These people fit the lifestyle they were stealing. If they didn't, I'm guessing people would have noticed a lot sooner that they seemed to be living a larger life than you'd expect, that they didn't fit somehow.
posted by Naberius at 1:14 PM on December 11, 2007


a cackle of goths
posted by djseafood at 1:15 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


A cabinet of thieves.
posted by lostburner at 1:19 PM on December 11, 2007


A deviate of threadjackers.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:30 PM on December 11, 2007


a moleskine of hipsters
posted by ozomatli at 1:31 PM on December 11, 2007 [5 favorites]


An embarrassement of Richards.
posted by neuron at 1:34 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


A bullshit of students
posted by Green With You at 1:41 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


An outrage of special interest groups.
posted by gompa at 1:45 PM on December 11, 2007


A number of identity thieves.
posted by OmieWise at 1:46 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


wfc123: You need professional help. You are no better than these people. In fact, I would wager these two people are much nicer than you are.

What part of writing on the internet versus stealing real people's real money do you not understand?
posted by OmieWise at 1:47 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


willie11 writes "unkindness of ravens"

I have always depended on the kindness of ravens.
posted by krinklyfig at 1:50 PM on December 11, 2007 [5 favorites]


Pastabagel: Beautiful people commit serious crime? Oh, how charming! Do you think they'll get their own TV show?

I think you missed the point. This story is famous and popular because they're good-looking, yes; because the rest of us love it that good-looking people got arrested. Nobody but nobody is pretending that they actually admire beautiful people; our jealousy is a heck of a lot stronger than our admiration will ever be. The sheer popularity of this story is almost exclusively due to shadenfreude.

And I can't say I'm not culpable of it too. I'm like everybody else; I'm happy to see these fresh-faced fucks go down.
posted by koeselitz at 1:52 PM on December 11, 2007


I have literally being waiting since 2001 for the word "tony" to be used this way in an AP news caption.
posted by phaedon at 2:24 PM on December 11, 2007


willie11 wrote: bouquet of pheasants (when flushed)

This will be handy when calling the plumber.
posted by ooga_booga at 2:27 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


A masturbation of rhinocerous.

She has got dirty feet.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 2:31 PM on December 11, 2007


I think I actually know this girl from high school.
posted by odinsdream at 2:36 PM on December 11, 2007


A pride of lions!
posted by Kwine at 3:27 PM on December 11, 2007


A contribution to charity!
posted by Kwine at 3:27 PM on December 11, 2007


I'm not sure that I understand this game!
posted by Kwine at 3:28 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


a planet of apes?
posted by inqb8tr at 3:29 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


a leer of misogynists.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:34 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


This story is famous and popular because they're good-looking

Really? I think the guy is butt-ugly. He looks like a grown-up Afred E Neuman.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:39 PM on December 11, 2007


wfc123: In fact, I would wager these two people are much nicer than you are.

Sure. It's a lot easier to pick someone's pocket when you're being nice to them.
posted by lodurr at 3:50 PM on December 11, 2007


Aren't most of those exotic collective nouns (a parliament of owls, etc) just bullshit made-up affectations of dubious etymology?
posted by Rumple at 4:19 PM on December 11, 2007


Pastabagel: And maybe from a rooftop 1500 yards away a sniper will do us all a favor. If these beautiful people had stolen my identity, hell if they had broken into my apartment to eat a Godiva chocolate, I would have used them to make a combined sequel to Se7en and Saw. I'm thinking they could both use a Liquid Plumbr exfoliation.

See, I didn't see that part of your comment. Good god, that's some gruesome shit.

Flagged as offensive. Also, your taste in movies sucks. Wishing that kind of shit on anybody is fucking stupid, friend.
posted by koeselitz at 4:22 PM on December 11, 2007


an affectation of dubious etymologies
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:36 PM on December 11, 2007 [3 favorites]


Rumple, ask James Lipton.
posted by sugarfish at 4:46 PM on December 11, 2007


Aren't most of those exotic collective nouns (a parliament of owls, etc) just bullshit made-up affectations of dubious etymology?

Yes.
posted by languagehat at 4:59 PM on December 11, 2007


Thanks sugarfish. Is that a legitimate book, or does it recycle a bunch of folk etymology? In other words, does it amount to a Hill of Beans?
posted by Rumple at 5:00 PM on December 11, 2007


I have no idea. I just think it's strange that James "Inside the Actors Studio" Lipton is also an expert on collective nouns.
posted by sugarfish at 5:03 PM on December 11, 2007


a fixie of hipsters is how I know it
posted by andifsohow at 5:10 PM on December 11, 2007 [3 favorites]


A helpfulness of sugarfish!
posted by Rumple at 5:12 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: Just bullshit made-up affectations of dubious etymology.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 5:43 PM on December 11, 2007


A Wunch of Bankers.
posted by lekvar at 5:47 PM on December 11, 2007 [3 favorites]


OK, double check that, I do indeed know this girl. She dated a friend of mine in high school. We regularly hung out and had spaghetti dinners and whatnot. I've actually got a group photo of her with us somewhere, but my rummaging has not been fruitful tonight.
posted by odinsdream at 6:14 PM on December 11, 2007


a fixie of hipsters

Holy shit, I'm in awe of your genius. That's the best one, hands down.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 6:20 PM on December 11, 2007


I don't know, mine's pretty clever, I just think folks don't get it. I might start a MetaTalk thread out of pique.
posted by OmieWise at 6:29 PM on December 11, 2007


Jocelyn Kirsch is Scandalous, the FaceBook group.
posted by odinsdream at 8:26 PM on December 11, 2007


OmieWise: "I don't know, mine's pretty clever, I just think folks don't get it. I might start a MetaTalk thread out of pique."

I've found in reading metatalk that pique is implied, even required.
posted by aerotive at 8:56 PM on December 11, 2007


a plate of beans.
posted by rtha at 9:53 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


Or, an overthink of plated beans?
posted by Rumple at 9:56 PM on December 11, 2007


A sputum of gossips.
posted by moonbird at 10:00 PM on December 11, 2007


A bloom of implants.
posted by craniac at 10:47 PM on December 11, 2007


A snark of Mefis?
posted by Samizdata at 11:59 PM on December 11, 2007


Bonnie and Clyde? Please. How does pulling a couple of low-rent ID theft acts against people you know count as being Bonnie and Clyde? Those two rampaged through banks guns blazing. These two sat at computers.

Americans are really getting lazy or something if these two are supposed to be as impressive as those two. You think in 70 years people are going to remember these two?
posted by delmoi at 2:34 AM on December 12, 2007


In 70 years people aren't going to remember anything more than five minutes in the past.
posted by languagehat at 7:15 AM on December 12, 2007


What are we talking about?
posted by Hicksu at 8:10 AM on December 12, 2007


The photos make crime look fun!
posted by Mental Wimp at 10:05 AM on December 12, 2007


A whine of posters.
posted by never used baby shoes at 10:27 AM on December 12, 2007


I'm going to derail this thread, just because it already sucks anyway.

In 2004, a guy called Homer (yeah, that's his real name) stole my identity. I was in Spain at the time.

He went through my mail and stole one of those credit card 'cheques' - he made it out to himself (for some fictitious roofing work) and forged my signature. He went down to a small local bank, and they cashed it ($5000).

Homer wasn't especially bright. He gave them his driving license (which they photocopied)... my dad noticed a policeman's card on my door and called me. When I got back, I got talked to the cops... who arrested Homer. He'd done the same thing to several other people in the interim and he eventually got in serious trouble for it (he's inside now).

He's still sending me cheques.
posted by chuckdarwin at 5:32 AM on December 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Yes, but do they clear?
posted by lodurr at 6:28 AM on December 13, 2007


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