Raiding the office supply closet perhaps not as a bad you think... relatively speaking.
December 12, 2007 7:25 AM   Subscribe

Worst employees of 2007 Among the winners: a business that manufactures pot-laced candy shut down by the DEA, an airline employee who groped a sleeping passenger next to him, an ambulance driver charged with DUI, Manufacturing and distribution of counterfeit DVDs, Immigration employees committing green card scams, USPS letter carrier stealing cash from gift cards, a man strangling his boss at a cocktail party and a Catholic priest arrested for indecent exposure for naked jogging at the high school track.
posted by psmealey (46 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
I can totally see the pot-laced candy being on there, but uh... they got the "worst employee" wrong:

"These items could have harmful effects on a user, especially the unsuspecting ones," DEA agent Javier Pena said. "We will continue to shut down these production lines, one marijuana-candy factory at a time."
posted by supercres at 7:35 AM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


From the "man kills boss at party" link:

"Schmid appeared in court for arraignment Sunday afternoon. He wore a serious look on his face. His dark hair was a mess".

Now that's what I call journalism!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:40 AM on December 12, 2007


Wow, this post is a million yummy outragefilters in one!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 7:41 AM on December 12, 2007


Sell drugs at work

The founder of a California pot-lacing food factory was arrested on drug charges for conspiring to manufacture and distribute marijuana. He originally said he made his products for medical marijuana clubs in the state.


Hint for CNN: When your job is "Drug Dealer," selling drugs at work makes you a good employee.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 7:45 AM on December 12, 2007 [6 favorites]


The groper wasn't an employee of the airline. But at least I great idea for an erotic story!
posted by DU at 7:49 AM on December 12, 2007


Oh yeah? What about this guy? (This link is only a way for me to avoid making a foolish post to the front page.)
posted by cgc373 at 7:50 AM on December 12, 2007


The groper wasn't an employee of the airline.

Yeah, sorry. I linked to the wrong story. The correct one is much, MUCH worse.
posted by psmealey at 7:51 AM on December 12, 2007


"one marijuana-candy factory at a time"

uh...wow. I'm not understanding how anyone can say that and not follow it up with something along the lines of, "Day in and day out, The Feds are on the case! Crime-fighters Awayyy!"

Also, how many marijuana-candy factories could there be, and has anyone told my neighbor about them?
posted by mitzyjalapeno at 7:52 AM on December 12, 2007


A man who answered the doorbell at one of the duplex units Sunday night said "Can't help you" and locked the door when a reporter identified himself.

You get the feeling the reporter feels this is a crime on par with the murder.

Nude jogging, on the other hand, should be punishable by having your wang bouncing painfully around. Also, way to bury the lede: ...Whipkey allegedly gave nude "sex talks" to 11-year-old boys while on a three-day camping trip. Aha.
posted by DU at 7:53 AM on December 12, 2007


a Catholic priest arrested for indecent exposure for naked jogging at the high school track.

The next time he was going to bring a nun with him. She wanted to get rid of a nasty habit.
posted by jonmc at 8:01 AM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


My nomination is Harriette Walters of the DC Office of Tax and Revenue--at least $20,000,000 stolen, but likely even more.
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:23 AM on December 12, 2007


NWA Worker Ejaculates On Passenger?!?!?!

I'm guessing MC Ren? Surely not Dr. Dre.
posted by ba at 8:27 AM on December 12, 2007 [3 favorites]


Surely not Dr. Dre.

I wouldn't be so sure. Perhaps you're familiar with his position on bitches?
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:32 AM on December 12, 2007 [3 favorites]


Perhaps you're familiar with his position on bitches?

The passenger described it as "spooning".
posted by DU at 8:34 AM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


What about that guy who dropped a call at the call center?
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 8:38 AM on December 12, 2007 [5 favorites]


I nominate Natavia Lowery, for bludgeoning her boss to death with a yoga stick.
posted by Mr_Zero at 8:41 AM on December 12, 2007


i would have enjoyed this list a lot more if it wasn't for the anti drug propaganda used for the first example. calling them bad employees when they were actually working to try to improve their society and help people was just plain stupid. of course, i'm sure that business didn't hire anyone using careerbuilder.

thanks to cnn and careerbuilder, this list isn't funny anymore. just reminds me of how fucked up things are.
posted by lester at 8:45 AM on December 12, 2007


From the "man kills boss at party" link:
"...neighbors described the area as "Leave it to Beaver" quiet."
I believe it was June Cleaver who once said "You were awfully hard on the Beaver last night, Ward."
posted by Floydd at 8:52 AM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


"Schmid appeared in court for arraignment Sunday afternoon. He wore a serious look on his face. His dark hair was a mess".

SERIOUS EMPLOYEE IS SERIOUS
posted by dismas at 9:01 AM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm guessing MC Ren? Surely not Dr. Dre.

I'm just happy we can all agree that it doesn't fit with Ice Cube's new family-friendly image.

Am I the only one perplexed by this? It's like seeing Rob Halford as George Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:10 AM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


In other news, "ambulance drivers" are actually called EMTs or paramedics and they get a little miffed when people refer to them as "ambulance drivers" "ambulance men" or any variation thereof.
posted by inoculatedcities at 9:17 AM on December 12, 2007


ROU_Xenophobe, I concur. I was also amazed when Johnny Knoxville was positioned as an acceptable leading man. Thankfully, that petered out pretty quickly.
posted by ba at 9:19 AM on December 12, 2007


I can't believe they forgot this felon. The woman's clearly dangerous.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:19 AM on December 12, 2007


Wow, I suddenly feel like an exemplary employee. And my dream of opening an alternative bakery in a foreign country suddenly doesn't seem so odd!
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:20 AM on December 12, 2007


jonmc wrote:

a Catholic priest arrested for indecent exposure for naked jogging at the high school track.

The next time he was going to bring a nun with him. She wanted to get rid of a nasty habit.



There were three nuns sitting on a park bench when man comes by and exposes himself to them. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, the third nun wouldn't touch it.
posted by any major dude at 9:24 AM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


*scans list, gloats that he got away with everything again this year, laughs*
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:25 AM on December 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


they get a little miffed when people refer to them as "ambulance drivers" "ambulance men" or any variation thereof

Those corpse jockeys can suck my balls.
posted by psmealey at 9:32 AM on December 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


That's a new one.
posted by inoculatedcities at 9:39 AM on December 12, 2007


They killed their bosses?

Ah, the American dream.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:44 AM on December 12, 2007


It's like seeing Rob Halford as George Bailey in "It's A Wonderful Life".

DECKING THE HALLS, DECKING THE HALLS....
posted by spoobnooble at 9:49 AM on December 12, 2007 [13 favorites]


My nomination is Harriette Walters

I came into this thread just to post that. Seconded.
posted by me & my monkey at 9:49 AM on December 12, 2007


LOL corpse jockeys!
posted by Mister_A at 10:11 AM on December 12, 2007


Seriously, those are the worst employees they could find? Not a single Bush nominee or CIA interrogator? Based on that standard, I nominate Blitzer and Dobbs.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:24 AM on December 12, 2007


What about that ex-cop and his wife who thought they had overdosed on pot.
He called 911 and said that he thought he was dead. "I think we're dead!". He resigned.

Oh and Harriette Walters owes me money.
posted by doctorschlock at 10:27 AM on December 12, 2007


My vote goes to the employee at Hershey's Chocolate who came up with the idea of Candy that looks Like Drugs.

Harriette Walters was just corrupt - no points for that - coming up with the idea for candy crack packs is just stupid.

Gee, officer, my son didn't know that was drugs HE THOUGHT IT WAS THIS NEW HERSHEY CANDY.
posted by three blind mice at 10:37 AM on December 12, 2007


Harriette Walters was just corrupt - no points for that

Oh yeah? Let me know when you steal TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS.
posted by me & my monkey at 10:57 AM on December 12, 2007


In other news, "ambulance drivers" are actually called EMTs or paramedics and they get a little miffed when people refer to them as "ambulance drivers" "ambulance men" or any variation thereof.

From the article
...was transporting a patient from Our Lady of Bellefonte Hospital in Ashland, on the West Virginia line, to a Huntington, W.Va., nursing home.

This guy was just a driver. Not all ambulances are emergency ambulances.
posted by atrazine at 11:11 AM on December 12, 2007


Portland TV news reported the arrest of an EMT who sexually assaulted a patient. He apologized in a note, but she is pursuing prosecution. You can't make up stuff like this.
posted by Cranberry at 11:12 AM on December 12, 2007


This guy was just a driver. Not all ambulances are emergency ambulances.

The company that owns the ambulance (mentioned in the article) is an EMS provider. "Shucking" patients between hospitals or nursing homes is something than EMS ambulances frequently do when they aren't answering calls.

"Ambulance driver" really is an epithet that an ER nurse or firefighter might use to imply that an EMT's medical skills or profession are inadequate and they really take offense to it. Especially since EMT's often have considerably more experience and acumen than those other individuals.
posted by XMLicious at 11:50 AM on December 12, 2007


Heck, there are companies that specialize in medical transport — the "shucking" XMLicious mentions. Even they tend to hire EMTs or better. An employee who's only allowed to drive, and can't pitch in if the patient they're transporting stops breathing, isn't really worth having on payroll.

(If nothing else, it's annoying that the article was so vague, because now all I want to know is how much authority that lush had been given in caring for the poor guy in back.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 12:06 PM on December 12, 2007


Linda Stein's personal assistant snapped after her boss allegedly threatened her and blew marijuana smoke in her face. ... Stein had allegedly used "profanity" and wielded the yoga tool in a "derogatory" way.

1) Talk about Reefer Madness...
2) Yoga tool? I now have a new 'derogatory' term.
posted by eclectist at 12:18 PM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


Bush isn't on the list? I've been trying to get him fired for years!
posted by klangklangston at 12:49 PM on December 12, 2007


eclectist, I was thinking that "yoga tool" was probably a euphemism.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:15 PM on December 12, 2007


"a man strangling his boss at a cocktail party" ...on MY Hereo's of 2007 list.
posted by petersn1 at 1:58 PM on December 12, 2007


From Five Past Midnight in Bhopal:

"He, too, had spent twenty years in London where he worked in a sausage factory before being dismissed for 'unhygienic behavior'. No one had ever tried to find out what lay behind the peculiar charge."
posted by neuron at 5:08 PM on December 12, 2007


a man strangling his boss at a cocktail party" ...on MY Hereo's of 2007 list.

Yea, I chuckled too, then read the article. From the comments, he (the boss) was a good man (and father of a toddler), and may have been trying to keep the other guy (alleged in the comments to be an angry drunk) from driving home.
posted by jalexei at 7:44 PM on December 12, 2007


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