Comments on: Extreme Oxygen, dude!

Extreme Oxygen, dude!

ph00dz — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 07:48:22 -0800

The Big Ox. Power oxygen for real extreme athletes... available in a variety of flavors: Polar Rush, Tropical Breeze, Mountain Mint, and Citrus Blast. Is this The Next Big Thing?

According to the website, "Big Ox is 89% pure flavored oxygen... In business and sports you have to out-last and out-think your competitors! A purer form of Oxygen can give you an edge over those not supplementing yet. If you really want to be victorious, step it up and compete with your stamina and mental clarity! Try Big Ox! You would be wise not to let some oxygenated person get any edge over you!"

By: ph00dz

ph00dz — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 07:50:16 -0800

I picked up a can of this stuff @ Circle K this morning... set me back $10, but it was too hilarious to pass up. Still haven't tried it... but I bet it'll be awesome!

By: motty

motty — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 07:56:47 -0800

... it completely relieves many headaches without putting any chemical in the body *sigh*

By: Cat Pie Hurts

Cat Pie Hurts — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 07:58:36 -0800

This tells me that the end of the world is nigh. Maybe if this had what plants crave?

By: caution live frogs

caution live frogs — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:00:14 -0800

Mel Brooks beat them to the punch.

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:01:49 -0800

If you're just breathing air and not chugging it, then you're not living.

By: the dief

the dief — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:03:13 -0800

Pepsi.. uh.. oxygen.

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:03:39 -0800

In related news, allegation of oxygen being a key element in the oxydation process, leading to catastrophic ferrous failures and skin aging !

By: Malor

Malor — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:05:00 -0800

PepsiO²

By: itchylick

itchylick — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:05:01 -0800

Food, water and oxygen are key to a healthy lifestyle.

By: Pecinpah

Pecinpah — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:08:36 -0800

I saw this junk in the local Circle K a few weeks back and took three pictures of it with my phone. I look at these pictures periodically to make sure I'm not insane.

By: aramaic

aramaic — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:12:29 -0800

This is both brilliant and unspeakably depressing.

By: suckerpunch

suckerpunch — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:12:33 -0800

This idea has been around a while. I say that to make you realize that we're even closer to the apocalypse than you originally thought.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:15:06 -0800

This shouldn't be sold in stores! After all by merely mixing this with some hydrogen you can make a very hazardous substance that kills thousands every year and is a major component of acid rain!

By: ba

ba — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:20:57 -0800

I love that they sponsor a race car! Nothing says "health" like car racing. Other sponsors of the same car include Boss Hogg beef jerky.

By: DU

DU — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:23:08 -0800

Oxygen was the Next Big Thing around 1989, but maybe as a retro thing, sure.

By: rocket88

rocket88 — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:26:23 -0800

Big Ox is 89% pure flavored oxygen H2O molecular weight = 18.015 g/mol O atomic weight = 16.0 g/mol 16.0/18.015 = 0.89 ...can't argue with their math.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:31:44 -0800

This seems like something you'ld see in the background of "Back to the Friggin Future II: Electric Boogaloo".

By: clevershark

clevershark — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:35:45 -0800

I have to see "Idiocracy" now, to see if Mike Judge saw this one coming...

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:37:24 -0800

I thought all the oxygen bars crashed and burned. I've seen fancy oxygen tubes in bars and clubs before, but not for several years.

By: lukemeister

lukemeister — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:42:28 -0800

I thought it was liquid oxygen. That would be, um, refreshing.

By: cairnish

cairnish — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:42:55 -0800

I mocked pancakes from a can too. Until I tried them. *sobs* Please lord, don't let me try this even as a joke.

By: lekvar

lekvar — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:45:52 -0800

In other news, the oxygen used in cellular metabolic functions forms free radicals as natural byproducts. Free radicals are known to cause cellular damage. Use of this product may (or may not) cause your head to explode.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:52:12 -0800

If only the can contained actual ox in addition to the oxygen.

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:54:58 -0800

I'm totally serious here: Can they lace this with eucalyptus and menthol? Because that would feel awesome to us chronically-congested types.

By: jason's_planet

jason's_planet — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:57:26 -0800

Because of increased pollution and the continued destruction of our forests, you might not always be getting the oxygen you need for your active lifestyle. Bullshit. The typical inhalation is 20% Oxygen, 79% Nitrogen and 1% trace gases. The typical exhalation is 15% Oxygen, 5% Carbon Dioxide, 79% Nitrogen, 1% trace gases. You don't use most of the oxygen you take into your lungs.

By: Killick

Killick — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:58:19 -0800

Next thing you know they'll be charging you for blowing smoke up your ass.

By: slimepuppy

slimepuppy — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:05:33 -0800

Ah, but does it come in Manana and Gun flavours?

By: caddis

caddis — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:09:01 -0800

EPO is easier

By: schroedinger

schroedinger — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:09:35 -0800

ph00dz, you gotta take that oxygen and tell us what it's like. If you climb a mountain and parachute down as a result take pictures.

By: Tenuki

Tenuki — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:15:37 -0800

But does it have electrolytes?

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:18:20 -0800

Because of increased pollution and the continued destruction of our forests, you might not always be getting the oxygen you need for your active lifestyle. So all these cans, labels, shipping, advertising, etc. will help the environment? Big clumsy ox.

By: tommasz

tommasz — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:30:55 -0800

I saw this last year at a local Mobil Mart.

By: facetious

facetious — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:31:14 -0800

If you think you're hard enough, try the Greasetrap, Fart, and Brushfire flavors. So as not to be all, you know, metrosexual.

By: davejay

davejay — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:36:57 -0800

From the FAQ:

Q. How much oxygen is in the air? A. The air today only contains about 21% oxygen.

Tomorrow, 20%...the next day, 19%...QUICK, GIMME THAT CAN! alternative: back in my day, the air was 97% oxygen, we were always on fire, and we liked it!

By: cairnish

cairnish — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:41:51 -0800

Big Ox is squeezing out the small, local producers. I recommend finding a local supplier of free-range oxygen, or joining a co-op or barter group. For instance, in return for access to great local oxygen at affordable prices, I contribute copious amounts of methane at cost.

By: Poolio

Poolio — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:43:06 -0800

Just O₂ It!

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:48:50 -0800

"Mel Brooks beat them to the punch." I was going to post that exact image. Perri-Air. *snicker*

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:50:17 -0800

If only the can contained actual ox in addition to the oxygen. Yeah, could have been a really interesting way of reprocessing and marketing the methane that cattle produce. They totally blew it.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 09:55:58 -0800

They should add anti-oxidants to this stuff. Then it would be rad. Right now it is merely dope.

By: troybob

troybob — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:03:58 -0800

They once thought bottled water was a crazy idea, but most everybody's addicted to it now.

By: a robot made out of meat

a robot made out of meat — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:05:45 -0800

My understanding is that purified O2 is a fire/explosion hazard. There will probably only need to be one lawsuit.

By: Senor Cardgage

Senor Cardgage — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:09:57 -0800

The hors d'oeuvres today are boxes of pure oxygen infused with a saffron and a white truffle oil.

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:16:25 -0800

O2 + $$ + greed = BS

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:30:45 -0800

"The hors d'oeuvres today are boxes of pure oxygen infused with a saffron and a white truffle oil." Who's laughing now Tina Fey? WHO'S LAUGHING NOW???

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:35:20 -0800

...Greasetrap, Fart, and Brushfire flavors. Is this all in one can, like a crab, tiger, and almond requisite?

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:41:07 -0800

Please make my air from a can, the whippng cream kind.

By: Quietgal

Quietgal — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 11:55:09 -0800

OK, how do you flavor oxygen? 'Cuz that would change its atomic weight and then water wouldn't be 89% O any more. I call false advertising!

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 12:19:28 -0800

Also, how do you consume it? Do you just open the can and huff it? Will the oxygen dissipate before you can get a lungful? Does it come with a mask? Once on the TTC I saw a guy open what I thought was a tall-boy can of beer until he started sniffing it. Then I saw the side of the can and the label clearly: "TOLUENE". Where he got that big-ass can of toluene I still haven't figured out. But dude was huffing it up right there on the subway.

By: Sam.Burdick

Sam.Burdick — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 12:38:34 -0800

Spagetti-O2?

By: joelf

joelf — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 12:51:21 -0800

to answer your question: no.

By: eriko

eriko — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 12:56:02 -0800

Okay, who's going to toss a full one into a campfire?

By: quin

quin — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 13:47:23 -0800

You know what is insanely great about this? That it's going to end up getting sold in gas station convenience stores. So, you are going to be able to walk in to the soda/ canned oxygen area and grab a can of Big Ox. Then on your way to the counter, you can stop in the tobacco section and nab a can of butane. Right before you check out, you can pick up a novelty lighter, and now you have everything you need to do something really dangerously stupid. Or, you can stop outside, pick up some propane to mix with your oxygen inhalant and have a real blast.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 13:59:25 -0800

You know what is insanely great about this?... They should rethink the name then -- maybe it should be known as Darwin's Little Helper.

By: Mister Cheese

Mister Cheese — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 14:08:09 -0800

Someone should tell them that the Registry of Toxic Effects of Chemicals (RTECS) lists oxygen as a mutagen.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 16:42:16 -0800

I think quin is on to something here. What happens if you open that can when holding a lit cigarette in the same hand as the one that's holding the can? Wouldn't that cause a flash fire?

By: clevershark

clevershark — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 16:44:54 -0800

Never mind, I just looked at the "molecular weight" post above and it suddenly made sense...

By: humannaire

humannaire — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 20:04:07 -0800

Alright. True story. In my undergrad years, we kept a big tank of "medical-grade oxygen" (?) in our dorm room. We scored it from collge medical services. What we did with it was first drank hard for hours — barrels of vodka punches followed by 100-count keg stands — then strapped the mask on for about ten-to-fifteen minutes, and voila! Instant ready-to-party again! It was totally sobering! Also, about ten minutes of mask-wearing before bed resulted in a cleared head no hang-over. The best! While I have since sobered up, the amazingness of pure oxygen stays with me, and now I recommend it to all the undergrads.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 23:54:12 -0800

Hmmph. There've been standard-issue unflavoured Oxygen spray cans (with mouthmask attachments) with design cues straight out of the 1970s sitting on the shelves here in the office (in Korea) for a couple of years now. I took a few huffs once; didn't impress me a whole bunch.

By: mecenday

mecenday — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 07:09:21 -0800

Mel Brooks has prior art, copyright denied.

By: mecenday

mecenday — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 07:12:15 -0800

errr... patent. Sorry. Early. Need more coffee.