Worst band names of 2007

December 14, 2007 8:10 AM

The Onion AV Club publishes their annual Worst Band Names List. Is your band on there?

Complete with links to websites and myspace pages, so you know that they're real.

posted by Afroblanco (142 comments total)

Baboon Torture Division

Those Fucking Unicorns

Penguins With Shotguns

Statutory Grape

Chevy Metal

By 'worst', surely they meant 'the most awesomest ever!', right?
posted by quin at 8:17 AM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

I happy to see Minneapolis represented so well.
posted by djseafood at 8:17 AM on December 14, 2007

Any links on the differences between how men and women drive?
posted by DU at 8:19 AM on December 14, 2007

Also, here's last year's list.
posted by Afroblanco at 8:21 AM on December 14, 2007

Last year's list was the best: "Genital Hercules" never ceases to bring a smile to my face.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:26 AM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

With a whole section on badly-named funk bands, how do they miss the ur-badly-named-funk-band, Funk Shui? (or the other one.)
posted by dersins at 8:26 AM on December 14, 2007

Aw. I'm acquainted with one of the 17 Hippies and he's such a great, good guy. I was laughing my way down that list and then there it was.

Can't quite bring myself to lie and say I disagree with The Onion's opinion of the band name though. Can't they get a permanent exemption for not being native English speakers? My teenage self would so kick my adult self's ass for defending a band with "hippies" in its name. So conflicted.
posted by Your Time Machine Sucks at 8:29 AM on December 14, 2007

You mean all these are taken? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
posted by ersatz at 8:29 AM on December 14, 2007

A couple of days ago I found Child Pornography - »Riverside-based noise destruction connected to the Deathbombarc label and Barf/Narf Records« - while browsing »related artists« om Last.fm. I thought I'd seen every band name under the sun at this point, but that made me shout out "what the HELL?!".
posted by soundofsuburbia at 8:32 AM on December 14, 2007

Funny story. Last year's list got passed around within my band, to much hilarity. Months later, we were playing a gig at Club Midway, and we saw a flyer announcing none other than Sh-Sh-Sh-Shark Attack!!!! playing the following night.

We came *this* close to almost going.
posted by Afroblanco at 8:33 AM on December 14, 2007

Isn't Statutory Grape the flavor of communion wine?
posted by uncleozzy at 8:34 AM on December 14, 2007 [13 favorites]

BUTT STOMACH!!!!!
posted by psmealey at 8:34 AM on December 14, 2007

Glad to see Edmonton's Shout Out Out Out Out on there. They're actually halfway decent and get played on my campus radio station fairly often, and every time I hear the name I think: Jesus, that's the most cloying goddamn band name ever. Alberta indie bands seem to specialize in the cloying goddamn band name - one early-90s alternarock staple went by Red Autumn Fall, presumably because Fey Wistful Redundant was already taken.

Oh, but the Most Awesome Band Name Ever From Here In The Land Of Giv'n 'Er?

ShitHat.

No contest.
posted by gompa at 8:35 AM on December 14, 2007

Still, no one has gone with my last band's 2d choice name: Meat Curtain
posted by psmealey at 8:35 AM on December 14, 2007

Seriously, Butt Stomach made me tear up.
posted by cog_nate at 8:36 AM on December 14, 2007

hey, if you check out last year's list, you'll see MC Vagina. One of my best friends is in that group. They're bad ass. One of their songs is called Scarlett Johansen's Pussy is a Nazi.
posted by shmegegge at 8:37 AM on December 14, 2007

No one better use these because they are part of an art project I'm doing but how about:

Prince Charles Bronson Pinchot

Barney Frank Gifford Pinchot

(those are name amalgams of people who probably wouldn't get along)

Besides being band names with heavy referential appeal to most smart people, they'd look great (and confusing) on a marquee.
posted by framedmistake at 8:39 AM on December 14, 2007

There's a band in Missoula, Montana named Sharktopus ...
posted by chinese_fashion at 8:41 AM on December 14, 2007

Prince Charles Bronson Pinchot

This is actually at least 4 people.

Barney Frank Gifford Pinchot

I don't know who Gifford Pinchot is. :(
posted by DU at 8:44 AM on December 14, 2007

Heh, I've released an album on the same label as one of these bands (and they're actually really good). Sadly, it is not Chevy Metal.

Also, I think someone should name their band Wookiee Hole (that link is SFW and not what you may think--apologies to the UK contingent).
posted by sleepy pete at 8:48 AM on December 14, 2007

I'm kind of surprised the meme-mixing bandnames would be considered bad. I always thought JFKFC and Brian Jonestown Massacre are pretty good names. Ringo Deathstarr somewhat follows in that tradition.
posted by psmealey at 8:50 AM on December 14, 2007

How is Clown Sack not on this list? The Onion has an anti-Yooper bias!
posted by NoMich at 8:51 AM on December 14, 2007

Hell, I'm still traumatized by Kajagoogoo in so many ways. Name, haircuts, clothing, lyrics, singing.
posted by willmize at 8:54 AM on December 14, 2007

I don't know who Gifford Pinchot is. :(

Gifford Pinchot

Now you do. :)
posted by briank at 8:55 AM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

Is your band on there?

::checks list:: Nope.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:57 AM on December 14, 2007

"If Your Hands Were Metal That Would Mean Something" is an MST3k reference. They're okay by me.
posted by SansPoint at 8:57 AM on December 14, 2007

"Good Evening ladies and gentlemen, we are Fuckwolf and we are going to SODOMIZE YOUR EARS!!!!"
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:01 AM on December 14, 2007 [3 favorites]

"Malice in Wonderland" is a fantastic name.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:04 AM on December 14, 2007

wow, Let's French was pretty big in these parts for 5 minutes before they broke up.
posted by Ironmouth at 9:05 AM on December 14, 2007

And for even more fun, you can mix 'n' match:

Sorry About Your Asshole
Sh-Sh-Sh-Holy Fuck!
Here Comes Old Rigor Phallus
Just Plain Bad is What We Aim For
The Color Twat
Dance Me Pregnant Bonerama
Tampons in Wonderland
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:05 AM on December 14, 2007 [6 favorites]

You know what? Sodomize Your Ears would make an awesome band name.

I don't think I understand this thread
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:07 AM on December 14, 2007

psmealey: I agree, and I add that Ringo Deathstarr is a better name than Brian Jonestown Massacre, but it seems like The House that Gloria Vanderbilt may be the end of the line for that sort of naming convention. Please, god, let it be the end of the line. Kinda like Not Drowning, Waving or Not Waving But Drowning or Deadening Like Drowning Waves (that seems to be going out of style in band names--the gerund).
posted by sleepy pete at 9:07 AM on December 14, 2007

I'm sorry, Malice in Wonderland and Goodbye Girl Friday are *awesome* band names. Now I have to go click on the links and find out if they're awesome bands. See you on the other side of disillusionment!
posted by headspace at 9:14 AM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

Let me third that Malice in Wonderland is a great name. In fact, the name alone makes me want to check them out.
posted by Kattullus at 9:17 AM on December 14, 2007

cog_nate writes "Seriously, Butt Stomach made me tear up."

I've been waiting for an opportunity to use Front Butt for a band name, which I first heard on Squidbillies.
posted by krinklyfig at 9:20 AM on December 14, 2007 [2 favorites]

Bi Furious isn't a great band name, but it would be an awesome album title.
posted by hermitosis at 9:20 AM on December 14, 2007 [2 favorites]

Yo mamma's big fat booty band is actualy just what I expected funky
posted by Rubbstone at 9:22 AM on December 14, 2007

A lot of these "worst" band names are great. Of course, Harmonica Lewinsky makes me laugh, but I don't know if I'd want to be stradled with the name by the third or fourth album. Of course, bands with names like Harmonica Lewinsky don't get to make third albums.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 9:23 AM on December 14, 2007

I thought it was inappropriate to say this in the other thread, but "Miss Landmine Angola" would be an awesome band name.
posted by Malor at 9:24 AM on December 14, 2007

Another year goes by without a band called Fireman Rapist.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 9:26 AM on December 14, 2007

Your favorite worst band name sucks.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 9:27 AM on December 14, 2007

Fixed Gears Are For Jerks And Lesbians is pretty good.

The name, that is. I have no idea about the music.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:30 AM on December 14, 2007

Ah, the flaccid cleverness of hipsters.
posted by baphomet at 9:37 AM on December 14, 2007 [3 favorites]

Why do so many funk bands have "funk" in their names (spelling it "phunk" still counts)? I'm not complaining, I'm curious. It would make things so much easier if all bands had their genre in their names. It would make choosing a band to go see a lot easier.

I mean, what's easier, choosing "Goodbye Girl Friday" vs. "I Sank Molly Brown" or choosing "Five Middle-aged Guys Who Play Rock To Get Out Of The House On Weekends" vs. "A Bunch Of Whiny Emo Kids Who Met On LiveJournal"?
posted by tommasz at 9:44 AM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

5,001 CD titles that Paul and Storm thought up.
posted by darksasami at 9:53 AM on December 14, 2007

Why no mention of John Cougar Concentration Camp or these guys...?
posted by blaneyphoto at 9:54 AM on December 14, 2007

Some people, like Jews and Mexicans saved all their wit for their webpage:

Bad Days
Download MP3
Bad days is about me banging your mom. The guitar solo represents the two-minute orgasm I have at the end of the ordeal. The fifteen-second guitar intro represents the length of foreplay before the banging begins, and beats per minute can be correlated with my pelvic thrusts per minute. I think it's a good tempo for fucking, you should try it out with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Just play the song and fuck to the beat. You will find the lyrics complimentary to the activity at hand. ----Happy banging!
posted by micayetoca at 9:54 AM on December 14, 2007

No love for the Johnny Butt and the Bad Fish reference to Sublime?
posted by owtytrof at 9:55 AM on December 14, 2007

Ah, the flaccid cleverness of hipsters is the name of my band. We're terrible.
posted by Divine_Wino at 10:04 AM on December 14, 2007 [4 favorites]

One of the commenters:

one of the best worst band names i've ever encountered is "Sudden Infant Dance Syndrome."

USA! USA! USA!
posted by Skot at 10:06 AM on December 14, 2007 [3 favorites]

This thread could profit from Sloppyworld's 1063 awesome band names page. Some of my suggestions are there, huzzah!
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 10:06 AM on December 14, 2007

Sex Rat, Penguins With Shotguns, The Rape Ape, Earth Dies Screaming, Garrison Killer, Bullet Called Life, The Mister Fuckhead Ensemble, The Dead Kenny Gs, Goatmotor; these are all better names than my last 3 bands had. (Devilution, Torey Anus, and Cockporker) Also, One Small Step For Landmines is an awesome band with a not-bad-at-all name.
posted by Cookiebastard at 10:09 AM on December 14, 2007

When I was in highschool, there was a local band called "Help Wanted". Their ads and posters were misleading.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 10:18 AM on December 14, 2007

This Bike is a Pipe Bomb.
posted by blaneyphoto at 10:34 AM on December 14, 2007

I can't for the life of me work out why these are funny, but by the end of the list I was crying with laughter. I mean, they're mostly weak puns, but presenting them as a band name somehow makes them hilarious - 'Mariospeedwagon' gets my vote as awesomest.
posted by RokkitNite at 10:38 AM on December 14, 2007

How come I didn't make the list?
posted by Null Pointer and the Exceptions at 10:39 AM on December 14, 2007

I want to learn an instrument, just so I can name my band "Jon Benet's Busiter."

I'm going to hell.
posted by brundlefly at 10:40 AM on December 14, 2007

JFKFC
posted by sourwookie at 10:45 AM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

Don't forget the Band Name Generators.

Dead Wednesday
Fuck Doll And The Drunk
Grasping Ralph
Tasty Waiter
Prostate of the Month
Butt Mustard And The Wet Punch
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:47 AM on December 14, 2007

krinklyfig:
I've been waiting for an opportunity to use Front Butt for a band name, which I first heard on Squidbillies.

Frunttbutt was the name of a terrible, terrible Austin band a few years back. They gained notoriety in 2003 when several of their members were arrested for counterfeiting SXSW wristbands, which, as it turns out, is a federal crime on par with counterfeiting actual cash.

I'd be wary of using that name.
posted by Item at 10:55 AM on December 14, 2007

Also, I'm not sure that Hoobastank is still together, but they're up there on my list of all time worst band names.
posted by Item at 10:59 AM on December 14, 2007

I would actually say Hoobastank is the worst band name ever of all time. It's not even funny. It's just annoying. I don't even like to think about it.
posted by Afroblanco at 11:04 AM on December 14, 2007

Way to represent Buffalo!
posted by jdfan at 11:05 AM on December 14, 2007

weapons-grade pandemonium, by adding 'nazi' as the wildcard to the first hit on your link, I've come up with some of the best band names ever:

* Benevolent Nazi
* Nazi Melon
* Deluded Nazi And The Nostril
* Nazi Pump
* Nazi Septum
* Ambitious Nazi
* Nazi Stallion
* Boiling Nazi
* Encrusted Nazi
* Nazi Fissure

Ambitious Nazi? Sign me up!
posted by Item at 11:05 AM on December 14, 2007

The Canonical List of Weird Band Names actually did include a band I was in - The Exploding Tits. I can't personally take credit for the name though.
posted by stinkycheese at 11:10 AM on December 14, 2007

"Good Evening ladies and gentlemen, we are Fuckwolf and we are going to SODOMIZE YOUR EARS!!!!"

A good friend of mine is the drummer for Fuckwolf. He says it probably wasn't a very good name to choose because radio stations can't say it on the air and have to improvise by saying "F-U-C-K wolf" or "EFF wolf". Even their MySpace page is "fckwolf".
posted by oneirodynia at 11:12 AM on December 14, 2007

Actually, correction. Hoobastank is the worst name for *anything*, period.
posted by Afroblanco at 11:18 AM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

Butt Mustard And The Wet Punch

This is forty-seven kinds of hilarious to me, because I have a four-month-old son, and anyone who's ever taken care of an infant knows that "Butt Mustard and the Wet Punch" pretty much sums up the experience.
posted by middleclasstool at 11:23 AM on December 14, 2007 [5 favorites]

"I want to learn an instrument, just so I can name my band 'Jon Benet's Busiter.'"

What the fuck is a busiter?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:31 AM on December 14, 2007

Awesome - my band made the list!
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 11:48 AM on December 14, 2007

But now, if we change our name, people will think it's because of the Onion. Life, you are so hard!
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 11:53 AM on December 14, 2007

You can also find more band name fun at the Ten Thousand Statistically Grammar-Average Fake Band Names site.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 11:55 AM on December 14, 2007

What the fuck is a busiter?

seconded.
posted by shmegegge at 12:04 PM on December 14, 2007

I'd also like to know what the fuck a busiter is.
posted by Divine_Wino at 12:08 PM on December 14, 2007

Awesome - my band made the list!

OMG YOU'RE IN BUTT STOMACH??!!?!
posted by dersins at 12:09 PM on December 14, 2007

I'd also like to know what the fuck a busiter is.


busiter, busitineris N (3rd decl.)-- "The Way of the Ox," an ancient Roman form of martial arts.

Not sure what it has to do with JonBenet Ramsey, though.
posted by dersins at 12:14 PM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

Is your band on there?

I don't have a band. But if I did, Heinous Anus as a name might make it to this list.
posted by juiceCake at 12:18 PM on December 14, 2007

I always thought Faint of Butt would be a great band name.
posted by mike3k at 12:32 PM on December 14, 2007

::wakes up, snorts:: Whuh?
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:33 PM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

bustier. I used to be in a band called "Hey! That's My Bike." See I was in a band called the longshots and then the guy who stole our bassists bike rode by the club and steve (bassplayer) said "hey that's my bike," and jumped off stage and ran out the door and tackled the guy. The whole bar was laughing so fucking hard. we changed the name then and there on stage.
posted by MNDZ at 12:38 PM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

Wasn't 'Hey! That's My Bike' the name of Ethan Hawke's band in Reality Bites?
posted by box at 12:49 PM on December 14, 2007

I was going to use Ravi Chancre as a MeFi sock-puppet account name, but anymore I hope it turns up as a band name.
posted by pax digita at 12:49 PM on December 14, 2007

I took bustier to mean bra. Rhymes with Benet.
posted by stinkycheese at 12:57 PM on December 14, 2007

Bustier.

The bust-ier the bustier, the more I say OK!
posted by stinkycheese at 1:02 PM on December 14, 2007

I used to be in a band called "Hey! That's My Bike."

I invented White Out.
posted by psmealey at 1:03 PM on December 14, 2007

Sorry, it was Post-its I invented... not White Out.
posted by psmealey at 1:04 PM on December 14, 2007

All the nazi talk reminds me of one of the stranger results google ever threw at me. I'm pretty sure there's a band name lurking in there.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:13 PM on December 14, 2007

Yeah, Hey That's My Bike was the name of the band in Reality Bites.

In other news, I used to be in a band called Wyld Stallyns, because we were wild. And stallions.
posted by Item at 1:14 PM on December 14, 2007

I still think the greatest band name ever is “Eve’s Plumb.”

It’s just perfect.
posted by bondcliff at 1:17 PM on December 14, 2007

Anything we can do, the Japanese can probably do a little stranger.

I present to you Thee Michelle Gun Elephant. In the name of everything holy, what the hell does that mean?
posted by aftermarketradio at 1:26 PM on December 14, 2007

My first band was Flux.

My second band was Reflux.

Get it? GET IT???
posted by LordSludge at 1:36 PM on December 14, 2007

Special Ed & The Shortbus is a fantastic bluegrass band. Nice to see Richmond represented on the list.

(Rage Against Charlie Sheen has my vote for best band name out of Richmond.)
posted by emelenjr at 1:44 PM on December 14, 2007

My teenage self would so kick my adult self's ass for defending a band with "hippies" in its name. So conflicted.
posted by Your Time Machine Sucks at 8:29 AM on December 14

Yeah, at least my time machine hasn't led to any intrapersonal combat scenarios.

In other news, Intrapersonal Combat Scenario is up for grabs, for anyone who thinks they can get it on next year's list.
posted by eritain at 1:49 PM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

Thee Michelle Gun Elephant is no Hide and Spread Beaver.
posted by breezeway at 1:54 PM on December 14, 2007

LordSludge, you haven't had a band called Flux Capacitor yet?
posted by wendell at 1:55 PM on December 14, 2007

Crap. Yeah. "Bustier." Sorry for the confusion.
posted by brundlefly at 1:58 PM on December 14, 2007

No Snail Ramp?
posted by kpmcguire at 2:16 PM on December 14, 2007

Andrew WK was in To Live and Shave in LA for a while.
posted by brevator at 2:24 PM on December 14, 2007

With Blood Comes Cleansing is a christian death metal band. Totally fucking sweet.
posted by dr. moot at 2:34 PM on December 14, 2007

I'd like to name a Klezmer band "Poodle Kugel", but I suspect it's not kosher to do that.
posted by lleachie at 2:40 PM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

wendell, not yet, but I kinda like the ring of "Flux Capacity" -- as in "ability to change" besides the obvious BttF pun.

Not so sure about Reflux Capacity however...
posted by LordSludge at 3:01 PM on December 14, 2007

AIDS Wolf. What an awful name for a band.
posted by Ike_Arumba at 3:04 PM on December 14, 2007

I kinda like AIDS Wolf (the music, no comment on the name).
posted by brevator at 3:08 PM on December 14, 2007

To me, the Phenobarbiedolls brought band names up to a new level...
posted by bloomicy at 3:08 PM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

Not that it's a good band name, but The Pleasures of Merely Circulating is a Wally Stevens reference, so, uh... it's got that going for it.
posted by whir at 3:16 PM on December 14, 2007

That's hilarious, Wolfdog.

My next band shall be "Miraculous Nazi Dumpling."
posted by otolith at 3:23 PM on December 14, 2007

Their unusual name originated from a combination of respect for the band Thee Headcoats and the mispronunciation of the The Damned's album, Machine Gun Etiquette.

I coulda told you that, or you could have read down a bit on that page.

Their music is the real real good, too.
posted by erskelyne at 3:25 PM on December 14, 2007

So, Wolfdog, you were searching for "miraculous sauerkraut" and you were surprised when you came up with "nazi dumplings"?
posted by darksasami at 3:28 PM on December 14, 2007

With Blood Comes Cleansing

Is probably supposed to sound all hard core and bad-ass, but it really just ends up sounding like a term for a woman's menstruation cycle.
posted by quin at 3:31 PM on December 14, 2007

Flowers of Romance

Sid Vicious is gonna be pissed!
posted by oncogenesis at 3:58 PM on December 14, 2007

I was reading the city paper and there was a band called Free Lobster Buffet. The name almost fooled me into going. Bjorn Cyborg is the name I would use if I got to name a band... or a son.
posted by I Foody at 4:50 PM on December 14, 2007

Mostly this link just makes me annoyed with people's inability to spell "Wookiee" correctly.

And between this comment and that one, I am revealing way too much about how I spent my adolescence.
posted by naoko at 4:53 PM on December 14, 2007

My awesome band name story:

I was a friend of friends who were in a German band that was called something to the effect of "A Few People of Great Suspicion". They apparently took this name after they were playing a show in France, there was a robbery and each of them bore an uncanny resemblence to members of the group that committed the crime. They were arrested and held and it took them some time to convince the authorities that it was all one unbelievable coincidence. After it was over, they decided to do the name change...

*I'm recalling this all from a story I was told by a German coworker of mine who I can confirm definitely did know the band, details may be badly remembered or just plain wrong. I'll try to hunt down the specific band name, I have their CD somewhere. Also, my German sucks even more than my memory. Consider yourself warned.
posted by rollbiz at 5:30 PM on December 14, 2007

I know some one in at least one of the bands on the list!!!!

Plus, I would totally go see Penguins with Guns.
posted by drezdn at 5:35 PM on December 14, 2007

For sheer awfullicity, I suggest certain Band Name Mash Ups...
Daft Funkadelic
Ozomatli Crüe
The Guess Hoobastank
Traffic Rush
Talking Radioheads
posted by wendell at 5:42 PM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

A guy I knew in high school started Finger Eleven, but back then they were called The Rainbow Butt Monkeys, which isn't just a stupid name, it's really lame because it was so obviously intended to be wacky. It also didn't pay to reference Wayne's World after 1993. Finger Eleven is doing pretty damn good but I bet they'd be even better off had they not started with that goofy name.
posted by autodidact at 5:43 PM on December 14, 2007

I had to serve jury duty (I was dismissed) a bunch of years ago. The case was an assault (murder?) charge against someone in a band called Endangered Feces. I thought that was a pretty funny/bad band name.... this shouldn't be confused with the current Ebay auction of ACTUAL endangered feces.
posted by blaneyphoto at 5:48 PM on December 14, 2007

Viewed objectively, all band names are stupid. I kind of hate band names, to be honest.
posted by chuckdarwin at 5:54 PM on December 14, 2007

I had to favorite wendell's comment solely on:

Ozomatli Crüe
posted by rollbiz at 5:58 PM on December 14, 2007

I was with Performance Canceled for a while, but we could never get anyone to come to our shows.
posted by Smedleyman at 6:00 PM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

That was never a problem with the band I was in, Free Beer Tonight.
posted by Tube at 6:06 PM on December 14, 2007

I'm sad that there's a band called Lesbian and a band called Pudding. I wanted it to be a band called Lesbian Pudding. Now *that's* what I call a band name!
posted by smartyboots at 6:11 PM on December 14, 2007

Also, no Anal Cunt? Are they in the Worst Band Name "Lifetime Achievement" Awards...?
posted by rollbiz at 6:27 PM on December 14, 2007

Where's Clap Your Hand Say Yeah? Stupid stupid name.
posted by DieHipsterDie at 6:34 PM on December 14, 2007

Those Fucking Unicorns

It that's wrong, I don't want to be right.
posted by Bookhouse at 6:55 PM on December 14, 2007

Phenobarbiedolls is from a Marilyn Manson song, I think. I don't rememember what song, but I think something off of Mechanical Animals.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 7:38 PM on December 14, 2007

Some friends of mine used to have a band back in the mid-90's called The Four Food Groups of the Apocalypse. They were fun. Had a "love song" called 'Adipocere'. I think it was about the final stages of a failed relationship. And murder. crazy kids.
posted by Zack_Replica at 7:47 PM on December 14, 2007

I also don't think that anyone will ever come up with a worse name than "Anal Cunt". No other band name is in the same league, really.
posted by clevershark at 8:58 PM on December 14, 2007

They all loose to the Japanese Band Names assembled at Tokyo Damage Report:

THE POWERNUDE; FIVE SNATCH; RUBBER MOSH; PLASTIC TREE (SOLD OUT); VOODOO HAWAIIANS; STRAY PIG VANGUARD; THE AUTOPSY REPORT OF DROWNING SHRIMP; ROBO AFRICA; Spank the age; THE OFF-BEATERS; ROCKY AND THE SWEDEN; INCA NUISANS CLASSICAL AFRO #9; ANTI-FEMINISM; MOSH BOOTH; CONFLICTING RANCOR; BOTH CHEESE; TOTAL FAT; PUSSY PUDDING; Post-Scratch Ape; Negative Holiday; Soul Crap; Fairy Hooligans; Super-Ugly Jap; Lighty-light; Evil Daddy Dirt; Anarchy Condom; Jack-Off Machine; Violent Honey; Abstract Oriental Plug

posted by kolophon at 9:00 PM on December 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

Blood Fart.
posted by mazola at 9:18 PM on December 14, 2007

Slobodan and the Party Rangers
Lion king, my ass!
Piss on my Stereo, Couch, and Wall
posted by Afroblanco at 11:05 PM on December 14, 2007

If there's anything wrong with the name Robin Williams On Fire, I don't want to be right.

Well, unless they tweaked it to be Robin Williams on Fire and Ice. That may make more sense.
posted by Ufez Jones at 11:33 PM on December 14, 2007

Feline Leukemia

The Golden Retrevers

The Pussy Farts

That Last Latte
posted by y2karl at 11:38 PM on December 14, 2007

At the same club in Joliet, the sign up front announced DJ Shitty, followed by DJ Pap.
posted by Foosnark at 1:14 AM on December 15, 2007

My band is currently going by the name Gorilla Crusher. We're not hard at all. Thoughts?
posted by nonreflectiveobject at 2:05 AM on December 15, 2007

Also, framedmistake, your project is virtually identical to a game we used to play in college. We named it eponomously for the first instance, which occurred at dinner. My friend Thomas started staring off into space for a minute, and then said, "Hey guys, check this out...

"Weird Al Gore Vidal Sassoon."

One of the most amazing experiences of my life.
posted by nonreflectiveobject at 2:14 AM on December 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

There's a band around here called SNMNMNM. My roommate likes them, but I've never been to see them because I get so irrationally angry every time I see one of their posters. I mean, really. SNMNMNM. SNMNMNM!
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:15 AM on December 15, 2007

ha HA!
posted by MNDZ at 11:02 PM on December 15, 2007

Penguins With Shotguns has got to be a Futurama reference, and for that, their name is good.
posted by spiderskull at 12:48 AM on December 16, 2007

I'm a little disappointed by this list, "The House of Gloria Vanderbilt" notwithstanding. My stepson is really into thrash metal/grind-core and I feel like I've seen half these bands with him. This of course is probably due to the current phenomenon I like to call "metal smoothie", whereby most 15 year old boys who are fans of the double bass drumming technique think that taking every creepy or threatening word or phrase they've heard and sticking them in a blender is the epitome of band name nirvana.

My husband plays in a band called "Vera Beren's Gothic Chamber Blues Ensemble". I always get sleepy and confused halfway through saying the name, I'm kind of surprised they didn't make the "longest" list.
posted by stagewhisper at 10:00 AM on December 17, 2007

My stepson is really into thrash metal/grind-core and I feel like I've seen half these bands with him.

Off topic: I hereby nominated Stagewhisper for Mother of the Year! What a cool thing to do!
posted by psmealey at 12:33 PM on December 17, 2007

hahaha.

thanks, psmealy. I'm sure his father and I are secretly a great source of embarrassment for him. As long as he doesn't end up rebelling and becoming a Young Republican (no offense to young republicans) I guess it's cool.
posted by stagewhisper at 6:53 PM on December 17, 2007