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December 15, 2007 12:21 PM   Subscribe

USB Wine. French comprehension not required.
posted by drdanger (39 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
Revolutionelle!
posted by mdonley at 12:26 PM on December 15, 2007


(goes off to invent USB Samuel Smiths pump)
posted by randomination at 12:32 PM on December 15, 2007


There's a Ted Stevens joke in here somewhere.
posted by Pants! at 12:32 PM on December 15, 2007 [2 favorites]


This is all Al Gore's fault for inventing the internet.
posted by smcniven at 12:39 PM on December 15, 2007


And God Bless Al Gore

(Screw USB, I want a Firewire Samuel Smith's tap. Maybe 10GigE.)
posted by eriko at 12:41 PM on December 15, 2007


liquor is always pouring out of my laptop. But that is only because I don't have a steady hand.
posted by munchingzombie at 12:41 PM on December 15, 2007 [3 favorites]


I recommend USBeaujolais (can't be worse anyway).
posted by nicolin at 12:42 PM on December 15, 2007 [2 favorites]


It's never too late to add an 8th layer -- Hootch -- to the OSI model.
posted by porn in the woods at 1:04 PM on December 15, 2007 [2 favorites]


Ted Stevens was right.
posted by cosmac at 1:10 PM on December 15, 2007


So what's the gag here? I'm assuming that the device holds a little bit of wine, but it can hardly hold very much. Does the USB connection actually do anything - can you control the wine release with your computer?

Would a French-speaking person please unconfuse me?
posted by item at 1:18 PM on December 15, 2007


Oh please oh please let this be true
posted by drinkcoffee at 1:19 PM on December 15, 2007


Oh. I see. It's a joke - a painfully unfunny joke - and you can't actually order one. I fell for it, but only because I thought it was stupid enough to be real.
posted by item at 1:21 PM on December 15, 2007


Oh, if only this were true.
posted by middleclasstool at 1:23 PM on December 15, 2007


...but just to clarify, computers can't make wine, right? You have to have some sort of 'winery' contraption, don't you? Computers are just circuits and plastic and little magic parts. Do some of your computers have the ability to make wine?
posted by item at 1:24 PM on December 15, 2007


I don't know about Beaujolais, but I'd expect it should produce a pretty decent port wine. Sorry.
posted by lordaych at 1:28 PM on December 15, 2007 [14 favorites]


I am so getting one of those.
posted by wsg at 1:31 PM on December 15, 2007


On the other hand, wine has the ability to make your computer do magic things.
Still, it's better than the USB Humping Dog (can it be a whole year ago?)
posted by wendell at 1:44 PM on December 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


we will drink no wine that's poured online
posted by pyramid termite at 1:50 PM on December 15, 2007


ha. nice
posted by Skygazer at 1:52 PM on December 15, 2007


Someone please hack this to work with whiskey.
posted by obvious at 1:55 PM on December 15, 2007


Enfin!
posted by motty at 2:22 PM on December 15, 2007


Thanks, Pants! I can't believe I missed the Ted Stevens connection.
posted by drdanger at 2:39 PM on December 15, 2007


Do some of your computers have the ability to make wine?

Well, of all the computers I've used, my current Mac is certainly the winiest whiniest.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 2:47 PM on December 15, 2007


Someone please hack this to work with whiskey.
posted by obvious at 3:55 PM on December 15 [+] [!] No other comments.


Well, if that's not eponysterical...
posted by middleclasstool at 2:48 PM on December 15, 2007


I would have thought that with chips being tiny and all, a microbrew would have made more sense.
posted by lukemeister at 2:49 PM on December 15, 2007 [2 favorites]


This is clearly what Jesus would do.
posted by b1tr0t at 3:03 PM on December 15, 2007 [2 favorites]


*clink*

Quel produit révolutionnaire!


Love it.
posted by quite unimportant at 3:55 PM on December 15, 2007


Wow, this is a lot like the tech in Neal Stephenson's The Diamond Age. One of the killer apps was that if your computer was overheating you could send ice right through, and it washes out through a drain.
posted by parallax7d at 4:33 PM on December 15, 2007


It's never too late to add an 8th layer -- Hootch -- to the OSI model.

Your OSI model is obsolete. The current OSI model already includes pr0n, wares, and mpegs.

Upgrade your network card. It's built right into the stack these days. Just set your new network card to promiscuous mode and start logging and reassembling packets. Before you know it you'll have a nice collection of useable files, including the latest in TV shows, porn, bootleg software and all the music you can shake a stick at. (Works best when you're on a dense network on, say, a college campus or small business LAN.)
posted by loquacious at 4:46 PM on December 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


Until I watched the video I thought it analyzed the wine. I thought it would make a great gift. For me.
posted by Gomez_in_the_South at 5:08 PM on December 15, 2007


How about a fridge that delivers beer?
posted by johnny7 at 5:32 PM on December 15, 2007


...but just to clarify, computers can't make wine, right?

So THAT's why Windows Vista uses up so much of my PC's resources... it's making wine in there somewhere! I better buy the USB interface or all that hard work's gonna go to waste.
posted by clevershark at 5:54 PM on December 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


No way would an ordinary laptop computer be able to emulate wine. It must be virtualized.
posted by LogicalDash at 7:17 PM on December 15, 2007


You do know this is an ad for these guys, don't you?

I'll leave the Pepsi/wine gag to some other poor lost soul.
posted by Wolof at 8:14 PM on December 15, 2007


I don't understand why this is en français, and yet, the word "wine" is in there. Shouldn't it be "vin?" USB Vin?

Je ne comprende pas.
posted by exlotuseater at 8:35 PM on December 15, 2007


Oh. I see. It's a joke - a painfully unfunny joke - and you can't actually order one.

It's funnier if you get it right away. If you thought it was really real, then you probably aren't built for this kind of comedy.

...but just to clarify, computers can't make wine, right?

Unless you're doing some kind of meta-comedy on top of this posting, in which case you are blowing my mind.
posted by Deathalicious at 10:49 PM on December 15, 2007


It's what I do best.
posted by item at 11:51 PM on December 15, 2007


No wireless. Less wine than a nomad. Lame.
posted by channey at 2:04 AM on December 16, 2007 [1 favorite]


It just occcured to me that for French people, USBeaujolais, USBourgogne, USBandol, USBellet, USBarsac, USBarbe... etc could mean Beaujolais, Bourgogne, etc... made by US citizens. Like this one. Mondovino is always a fine watch.
posted by nicolin at 4:11 AM on December 16, 2007


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