Comments on: Tacky Christmas Yards. REALLY Tacky.

Tacky Christmas Yards. REALLY Tacky.

dersins — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:28:24 -0800

tacky christmas yards dot com is exactly what it sounds like. [via]

By: psmealey

psmealey — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:36:42 -0800

Nice! Nothing says Christmas spirit like a strobe-induced seizure

By: inconsequentialist

inconsequentialist — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:37:00 -0800

Holy hell.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:41:47 -0800

Previous related threads: 'Christmas Decorating Obsession' and 'Too many Christmas lights?.'

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:43:47 -0800

Show Off Your 2007 Christmas Display at PlanetChristmas!

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:45:20 -0800

Welcome to Picktown Lights.com: "Home of the computer-controlled multiple house animated musical synchronized holiday light display in Pickerington, Ohio."

By: freshwater_pr0n

freshwater_pr0n — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:45:52 -0800

I like it when Santa and the Infant Jesus interact in front yard tableaux. It's sort of like when Buffy would appear on Angel, or Spiderman shows up to help Wonder Woman.

By: any major dude

any major dude — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:46:37 -0800

I really hate those ubiquitous blow up balloon characters. Better to have nothing than those hideous creations.

By: dersins

dersins — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:48:04 -0800

This is where this unholy evil is perpetrated here in Portland. Pics here.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:52:53 -0800

I kinda like the lights. Pretty. Shiny. Makes Mrs. Maxwelton happy. (We have none of our own, though Mrs. M "has plans.")

By: signal

signal — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:54:43 -0800

REALLY Tacky. A.K.A. just average tacky for Napa, CA.

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:57:31 -0800

If you're going to go through all the trouble of synching up your display to a song, at least blink the lights with some regard for the melody. The porch lights blinking left-to-right at the beginning (and the left-to-right windows later on) ruins the whole effect. I do have a certain fondness for tacky decorations, though, and especially those that go beyond the norm and come up with something really insane and offensive. I made an illegal U-turn last winter to look at such a monstrosity--it looked like the house in psmealey's video, except that it was just random flashing and movement--and found the block jammed with cars that had done the same.

By: jal0021

jal0021 — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:58:23 -0800

When I was growing up, my family made a Christmas tradition of driving around the nearby "rich" neighborhood (which wasn't all that rich, in retrospect... my young middle class mind didn't know any better, though) to view the lights and decorations. One thing I was appreciated about the more impressive displays was the amount of homemade igenuity involved. Back then, if you wanted a giant nativity scene in the front yard or a hundred light encrusted snowflakes on the roof, you often had to buy the raw materials and design and build everything yourself. Now, however, you can just go to Wal-Mart and buy a kajillion inflatable snowmen and robotic reindeer, scatter them around the yard, plug them in, and go back to watching football. I don't pay much attention to Christmas light displays anymore.

By: WinnipegDragon

WinnipegDragon — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:03:35 -0800

Holy shit, these people appear to be enjoying themselves! Let's rise up, internets, and bitch about it!

By: ardgedee

ardgedee — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:04:04 -0800

Some of these look pretty tame. My all-time winner is the relatively ungaudy inflatable igloo in somebody's yard near here. It's animated, showing Santa and a snow man taking turns appearing out of the top of the igloo. But since neither go up and down very far it looks for all the world like Frosty's giving Santa a cold backdoor surprise.

By: butterstick

butterstick — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:09:03 -0800

Is anyone else saddened by the complete lack of snow in these pics? /sadpanda

By: The corpse in the library

The corpse in the library — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:10:46 -0800

I love these lights. I love Rudolph looking after Baby Jesus. If we didn't have a huge laurel bush blocking the view of our house from the street, I'd be up on the roof plugging in the Santa-climbing-up-the-chimney lights right now.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:11:11 -0800

Deck the Halls!

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:15:06 -0800

Energy consumption: it's the reason for the season.

By: itchylick

itchylick — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:15:15 -0800

Wow. I haven't seen anything that extreme in the DC area (that's not to say it doesn't happen), but the trend I see here are those damn life-size snow globes. I pass one house on my commute that has at least 8 of those things in the front yard. I assume you can buy them in bulk at Costco.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:15:21 -0800

Nothing "says Christmas" more than Elmo, SpongeBob, Homer Simpson and 17,000 Christmas lights. Check out our webcam -- "view and control stuff!"

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:20:19 -0800

PlanetChristmas! Consulting Group

"Got a Christmas decorating project and don't know where to start or you are just plain overwhelmed? Tap into the vast world of the PlanetChristmas Consulting Group. Chuck Smith will help you find the expertise for your commercial, office, church, residential and/or personal displays. What makes the PlanetChristmas Consulting Group different from the rest? Passion! We know the power of great Christmas displays. Whether it's to drive customers to your business, make a statement in your community or just impress the children in your neighborhood, nothing makes lifelong memories like Christmas displays. PlanetChristmas has been involved in grand Christmas displays for 25 years. We realized early on how people are drawn to Christmas decorations and love to talk about "that one house" or business that really goes over the top. Today people want to see grand Christmas shows and be entertained. Even the crankiest Scrooge's begin to mellow and get caught up in the Christmas spirit. The PlanetChristmas Consulting Group has been-there-done-that from the beginning."

I think I'll start the BaHumbug! Consulting Group. Partnership and associate positions available. Apply via e-mail.

By: wfc123

wfc123 — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:20:37 -0800

badlytakenphotosoftackychristmasyards.com, you mean

By: sleepy pete

sleepy pete — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:29:33 -0800

tacky christmas yards dot com is exactly what it sounds like. You competely misspelled totally fucking awesome, but thanks for the post (and comments, everyone). I do so love extravagant Christmas lighting/decoration.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:31:09 -0800

ericb writes "Nothing 'says Christmas' more than Elmo, SpongeBob, Homer Simpson and 17,000 Christmas lights." Wait ... why is Homer wearing a skeleton costume?

By: signal

signal — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:31:26 -0800

Yeah, this would be much more entertaining if you could actually see the decorations.

By: punishinglemur

punishinglemur — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:34:36 -0800

Holy shit, these people appear to be enjoying themselves! Let's rise up, internets, and bitch about it! Yeah, well, I was watching American History X last night and it seemed like the guy who raped Derek in prison was enjoying himself. But I'm not going to congratulate him for it.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:40:28 -0800

BTW, the Bugg House in Albuquerque used to be a great example of this. He no longer puts up his decorations. It was pretty extravagant, then or now. Full disclosure: Norm Bugg was a client of mine a couple years ago when I was doing computer consulting. But this is more like our traditional holiday decorations. (The pictures don't really do them justice, and I just found them with a quick search.)

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:41:14 -0800

punishinglemur writes "Yeah, well, I was watching American History X last night and it seemed like the guy who raped Derek in prison was enjoying himself. But I'm not going to congratulate him for it." I fail to see the connection.

By: sonic meat machine

sonic meat machine — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:43:42 -0800

I hate Christmas lights. They snarl traffic, consume too much electricity, and annoy the neighbors. Humbug.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:47:17 -0800

Yeah, this would be much more entertaining if you could actually see the decorations. if you click on the photos some of them get a lot bigger

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 15:28:28 -0800

No one has mentioned the family who was ordered to shut down their lights and tried to take their case to the Supreme Court? Photos. With dedication like that, there's only one place to house it: Disney. What's it take to make The Osborne Family Spectacle of Lights come to life? Number of watts of electricity: 800,000 Hours to install: 21,000 Extension cords (in miles): 32.2 Tie Wraps: 1,000,000 Christmas lights (in miles): 350 Number of angels: 150 Total number of lights: 5,000,000

By: cortex

cortex — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 15:48:55 -0800

This is where this unholy evil is perpetrated here in Portland. Ooh, lifehack: if you walk down Peacock Lane instead of driving, it doesn't take five fucking hours.

By: dersins

dersins — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 16:19:38 -0800

Even better-- if you stay completely away from it, it doesn't take any time at all! Although there's little more irritating than trying to get somewhere on upper hawthorne this time of year, and trying to take a shortcut to avoid the annoying 39th & hawthorne intersection only to realize you've forgotten all about peacock fucking lane. Oh man do I hate that.

By: winna

winna — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 16:30:28 -0800

They do it on boats, too. Watch the video.

By: bad grammar

bad grammar — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 17:33:14 -0800

This is happening in my upper-middle-class neighborhood, where you think people would know better. A few streets away, one family has filled their lawn with giant inflatable snowglobes, possibly the kind which you turn on to make the snow whirl around. If the family's kids pestered them to do this, I will excuse them, but otherwise, they have passed the margins of sanity.

By: teishu

teishu — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 18:57:56 -0800

Chuck Smith is my holiday hero. We used to put up about 15,000 bulbs. Just multi colored bulbs though, nothing else. Completely covering everything on the house and yard. It looked liked Christmas threw up on our house. I wish I still had the time to do it... Jesus and caroling and all that can go screw, I'll take my disgusting tacky lights. (I do hate those blow up things though)

By: kcds

kcds — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 20:16:46 -0800

From Tehanu's post above: What's it take to make The Osborne Family Spectacle of Lights come to life? Number of watts of electricity: 800,000 Let's just consider that one statistic for a second. 800,000W. 800 kilowatts. To put that in perspective, the electrical supply for my home is a 400 amp circuit - that's pretty beefy. 400A at 110V is 44 kW. The Osborne house's lights are using over 7,000 amps - or more than 17 times the power consumption of my house with EVERYTHING running. That's a small subdivision! You want another way to look at that? 800 kW is equivalent to over 1,000 HP - that's some idea of how big of a generator set you'd need to run it. You prefer coal-burning metrics? How about roughly 750lb/hour? And since carbon makes up approximately 1/4th the atomic mass of carbon dioxide, and coal is more or less 100% carbon, that would be close to a ton and a half of CO2 per hour.

By: nax

nax — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 20:21:07 -0800

This must mean the answer is YES. Right? Pretty? Lights? Yes?

By: WinnipegDragon

WinnipegDragon — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 20:28:37 -0800

Yeah, well, I was watching American History X last night and it seemed like the guy who raped Derek in prison was enjoying himself. But I'm not going to congratulate him for it. Hold on here. You are equating some excessive Christmas lighting to prison rape? You must be from the 'capital felony jaywalking' school of legal analysis or something.

By: First Post

First Post — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 21:05:29 -0800

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 21:52:19 -0800

Those stats are not from when the lights were displayed at the Osborne house-- it's from the last link, from after they moved the lights to Disney, which is where they're on display now. I'm not clear on whether or not lights were added once it moved to Disney (I think so because the Disney photos look like they have a larger number of lights and are more colorful). So really it's the light display at Disneyworld that's 17X your house. Still, I agree that it's a crazy amount of energy consumption. And I imagine the numbers for the Osborne display when it was still at their house in Arkansas was also mind-boggling, albeit smaller.

By: robtf3

robtf3 — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 22:10:36 -0800

Makes me wish I had my camera with me when my girlfriend and I were looking at Christmas lights. One house had the American flag in lights on their front porch. Nothing says the birth of Christ like American patriotism.

By: dirigibleman

dirigibleman — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 00:26:55 -0800

The most depressing thing I ever saw was a deflated inflatable Santa Claus. It was like he just died in someone's yard.

By: Emperor SnooKloze

Emperor SnooKloze — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 03:28:41 -0800

These folks have nothing on a trio of neighbors up the street from me. Imagine all the hideousness, crammed into a tiny postage stamp-sized front yard! Times three! I'd take pics but I'm not sure I can safely look directly at it long enough to do so.

By: pineapple

pineapple — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 08:11:29 -0800

Those inflatable things appear to be very prone to leakage. Around here, most of them have lost enough air to have fallen over, so it's just block after block with rows of Santas and snowmen lying around peoples' yards in ruin, like toppled idols. It makes the whole thing seem even more depressing than it already was. In my town, there are several blocks where these are very popular. I work from home so I'm often around the neighborhood in the daytime, and it seems to me that people leave them deflated during the work/school day, presumably so as not to be wasting the power when no one is around to view it. Part of me is glad they are saving the power. But a bigger part of me is angry that I live near houses with residents who are okay with being "We inflate our tacky life-size light-up snow globe from 5 pm to 10 pm each night... but the rest of the time, we are pleased to let it just lie strewn across our lawn like a multi-colored tarpaulin full of trash" people.