Comments on: Silicon implants for your Tattoo

Silicon implants for your Tattoo

jonson — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:43:35 -0800

Any idiot can tattoo a busty woman on his flesh. It takes committment to give your tattoo silicon implants.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:46:21 -0800

So, this idiot has been committed?

By: ORthey

ORthey — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:48:36 -0800

So... many... jokes... about commitment and idiocy...

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:51:59 -0800

How long until some drunken idiot "friend" of his punches him there?

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:53:44 -0800

Another thing to add to the list of "Things that "women-loving" men do that actually just creeps women the Hell out."

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:53:54 -0800

This will make some horny boob loving small dog happy.

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:54:28 -0800

I really can't wait to send this to my dad.* *This statement doesn't necessarily bode well for a post's reception on MetaFilter.

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:55:37 -0800

How long until some drunken idiot "friend" of his punches him there? Or gives him an arm-hickey?

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:56:55 -0800

Er, my mistake, it's a leg. Think I'm going to go get some fresh air...

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:57:15 -0800

Oh is that what women look like!

By: DU

DU — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:57:19 -0800

Buy a Barbie.

By: Stan Chin

Stan Chin — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:58:34 -0800

While I'm glad to see that the kid from Pete and Pete is alive, he probably needs help.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:58:54 -0800

Any idiot can tattoo a jonson on his flesh. It takes committment to give your tattoo silicon implants.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:59:39 -0800

There was a New Yorker cartoon a while back called "The subtext of every tattoo," and it was a tattoo that read "Ask me about my parent's divorce." This tattoo has an entirely different subtext. To me, it says "I'm the kind of guy who thinks I'm cool because the girls at the strip club know my name."

By: drezdn

drezdn — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:02:30 -0800

The best thing is that when he flexes, they jiggle!

By: DU

DU — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:04:12 -0800

This tattoo has an entirely different subtext. This is the tattoo that looks to tattoo fans the way regular tattoos look to straights.

By: scblackman

scblackman — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:05:44 -0800

Let's hope that this is the swill at the bottom of the glass that is 2007, rather than the frosty head that is the first sip of 2008. Sigh.

By: psmealey

psmealey — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:20:20 -0800

Huh. I thought that implants were on the way out... that even the gomers were going for big naturals these days.

By: growabrain

growabrain — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:22:30 -0800

Word at the hospital was that the new patient had his name "Joe" tattooed on his dick. The nurses were having a good laugh at this until one day a nurse who was attending Joe came into the break room with her eyes wide. The other nurses asked her what had happened. She said, "I was giving Joe a sponge bath when he became excited and started to enlarge." "So what's the big deal?" "His tattoo didn't say Joe. It said, 'Wine & Dine at Joe's Bar & Grill, Talahassee Florida.' "

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:24:47 -0800

The best thing about a leg-titty is that you can use a tubesock for a tube-top.

By: Artw

Artw — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:25:54 -0800

A stripper cowgirl with 3d boobs! Awesome! ...is probably what I would say as I backed away in horror. On the plus side it's more Heavy Metal than Anime, so at least it's old school.

By: wfc123

wfc123 — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:27:54 -0800

This is the tattoo that looks to tattoo fans the way regular tattoos look to straights. Nope. No difference. Sorry.

By: TechnoLustLuddite

TechnoLustLuddite — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:27:57 -0800

what, no nipple piercings? If i saw this guy, i would just think he had a couple of huge cysts on his leg, and instead of getting them removed, decided to get a tattoo to excentuate them.

By: Mastercheddaar

Mastercheddaar — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:29:42 -0800

Things like this is why I keep coming back here!

By: maryh

maryh — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:30:29 -0800

This sounds like a fabulous way to accessorize an unsightly tumor!

By: donovan

donovan — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:34:21 -0800

ew.

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:34:30 -0800

If you thought you didn't want to date him before....

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:34:33 -0800

Kissin' cousins?

By: 45moore45

45moore45 — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:35:16 -0800

Gives a whole new meaning to man boobs.

By: quin

quin — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:35:43 -0800

I wanna get something like this in braille accross my chest which says: If you are reading this, I got you to run your hands across my naked body. Ha Ha, I win. I mean, if you are going to go with tiny silicone implants, at least make them useful.

By: fleacircus

fleacircus — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:36:36 -0800

Please do not combine with zit popping thread.

By: 45moore45

45moore45 — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:37:19 -0800

This guy reminds me of the guys decked out head to foot in sports logo team outfits. They might think they are attracting women, but really, they are attracting other guys. Guys who want to fondle your leg. Ew.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:37:41 -0800

Big, hairy deal. I can't figure out if this woman has no feet, or just one big one.

By: thanatogenous

thanatogenous — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:39:34 -0800

Others have commitment to... irony.

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:41:45 -0800

irony. posted by thanatogenous On top of everything else, it appears that the text is backwards.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:45:02 -0800

All right, thanatogenous, that's actually a great tattoo.

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:50:26 -0800

The musical notes flying from the guitar are missing, though. WTF. The bad tattoo story I will never get tired of telling: dude has a pair of dice, one showing a six, the other die showing a one. Underneath in gothic script: "SNAKE EYES"

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:56:46 -0800

This is pretty ridiculous, but even moreso because the tattoo in question isn't that good. It looks like bad comic book style. The silicon doesn't help. I thought these modern tattoo aficionados were primarily punk and post-punk. What's up with the '80s-style rocker tat on a guy with gauges? Fuzzy dice on the rear view mirror would complete the package.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:00:27 -0800

This is just icing on the flaming cake that is ~~Rome~~USA.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:03:37 -0800

growabrain, in real life, that story might have a different ending.

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:05:54 -0800

WELCOME TO JAMAICA, MON. HAVE A NICE DAY

By: cmgonzalez

cmgonzalez — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:10:01 -0800

I wonder how it feels to run your hand over that guy's leg. I have a condition that gives me lumps on my shins every now and then and I hate running my hands over my own legs and feeling that bump. To do that to yourself on purpose? Ick. But I do not pretend to understand what drives most body modders.

By: cog_nate

cog_nate — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:12:01 -0800

Big, hairy deal. I can't figure out if this woman has no feet, or just one big one. Maybe Rob Liefeld did the original tat.

By: quin

quin — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:14:15 -0800

That was excellent thanatogenous. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend about the most manly tattoo ever: It's a bald eagle, smoking a cigar and wearing an eyepatch, in one talon it's holding an American flag, and in the other it's carrying a dead pig which is bleeding into the smokestacks of a battleship. The cannons of the battleship are all firing and it's dropping it's anchor, and a pennant across the chain says "Mom". And lest we forgot anything, we concluded with the caveat: "And it would have guns, and jets, and half naked chicks drinking booze." This would be all tattooed onto your chest, naturally. Unfortunately, thus far, we have not seen anyone take us up on this concept.

By: baphomet

baphomet — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:14:46 -0800

I can't wait to get my next tattoo of a super awesome Viking riding a sun glasses-wearing unicorn across a rainbow bridge while playing a fucking sweet electric guitar. That will really show people I mean business.

By: grouse

grouse — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:14:53 -0800

I do not pretend to understand what drives most body modders. They hate their parents?

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:29:42 -0800

cog_nate writes "Maybe Rob Liefeld did the original tat." That's funny, but it really does look like his style.

By: doubtful_guest

doubtful_guest — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:36:35 -0800

OMG, that's my tattoo, Baphomet! We'd be badass twinsies!

By: kurtroehl

kurtroehl — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:38:34 -0800

This gentleman likes your tattoo and wants you to press it up against the safety glass so he can get a better look...

By: psmealey

psmealey — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:46:03 -0800

I do not pretend to understand what drives most body modders. They hate their parents? Ah. Such thorough and excellent work in the field of human psychology. When does your Nobel Prize arrive?

By: subaruwrx

subaruwrx — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:51:10 -0800

my only complaint about the bowser tatoo, is that bowser wasnt even in SMB:2 in the US. Unless they were talking about the Japanese version... But then the final iteration looks more like bowser from Mario64... Sorry.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:56:01 -0800

Judging from the pic, those aren't implants, but injections, similar to what's used in lip-augmentation for women (Safe for work). Still a costly proceedure to consider, when this guy could've bought himself a Steve-O t-shirt.

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:57:19 -0800

is that bowser wasnt even in SMB:2 in the US. I believe that was the intent. A little fan service for the nerdlingers in the audience, a little soupcon of advanced-math Nintendory to top it all off.

By: grouse

grouse — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:00:57 -0800

When does your Nobel Prize arrive? There's not a Nobel Prize in psychology.

By: mikesch

mikesch — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:08:48 -0800

Judging from the pic, those aren't implants, but injections Nope, they're carved silicone. Injected silicone does horrible things to the body and collagen would just be reabsorbed after a while.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:32:12 -0800

Smart Dalek writes "Judging from the pic, those aren't implants, but injections" If that's the case, why would it be necessary to cut him open like that?

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:50:35 -0800

The irony being that Jordan has just had hers reduced...

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:00:15 -0800

DO NOT WANT

By: a robot made out of meat

a robot made out of meat — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:06:19 -0800

Not impressed by the sutures.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:08:34 -0800

There are some astounding ones here. (A few NSFW)

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:13:07 -0800

Hairy Bin Laden tattoo. SFW

By: Dave Faris

Dave Faris — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:48:50 -0800

I think we have an answer to the question.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:09:14 -0800

I dunno miss lynnster, I think that Mr Ice Cool is pretty rockin.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:37:32 -0800

That's Mr. COOL ICE to you!

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:39:30 -0800

Doh.

By: Deathalicious

Deathalicious — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:45:17 -0800

What's the exact polar opposite of awesome? I need to learn that word for times like these.

By: CitrusFreak12

CitrusFreak12 — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:50:23 -0800

Another thing to add to the list of "Things that "women-loving" men do that actually just creeps ~~women~~ people the Hell out." Fixed that for you. I'm sure I'm not the only guy who found it creepy as all hell.

By: porpoise

porpoise — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:57:42 -0800

I'm not sure if Kirth Gerson's doctor-snapping-penis-tattoo-pic if being disciplined for violating someone's privacy or more for that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a camera without taking off their gloves first, and not scrubbing up again before going back to working on the patient, or both...

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 18:56:44 -0800

Holy shit, that vulva tattoo is, erm, really something. In case it isn't obvious, NSFW.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 20:10:11 -0800

Bah. If he were really hardcore, he'd have a couple of hundred of these implanted all over his body, so he'd be all rubber-mat lumpy. And then tattoo a nipple on each one, and put a piercing through the tattooed nipples. And then suspend himself from the ceiling and whistle dixie out his ass, and call it art. Then PROFIT.

By: Arturus

Arturus — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 07:19:23 -0800

LOL~~XIANS~~BODYMODS Bad taste is bad taste, I don't get the need to hold it up for extra ridicule because it's something done to the body. The permanence is a factor, yes, but in this case, implants aren't permanent by necessity most of the time. They can be removed. And the link miss lynnster had gave a large number of tattoos that hardly qualify as worst. Strangest, perhaps, but come on. A guy with a small, unobtrusive windows logo as a tattoo makes your list of top 20 worst tattoos? The whole thing seems more like "first 20 tattoos we found while googling that we thought were funny".

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 10:28:58 -0800

You seem particularly sensitive, Arturus. Got a tattoo you regret?

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 11:01:32 -0800

I agree, that windows tattoo was stupid. But in any world I've ever lived in, this genetalia-themed back tat is not your average bad tattoo.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 11:16:24 -0800

The genital warts and gonorrheic vulvas are the icing on the cake, miss lynnster.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 11:31:14 -0800

That's really a sentence I never wanted to ever read, fff.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 13:45:12 -0800

And yet you can't unread it, miss, just as we can never unsee it.

By: hattifattener

hattifattener — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 15:07:57 -0800

Does nobody know the difference between silicon and silicone any more‽ </grumpy-old-man>

By: scarabic

scarabic — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 22:00:31 -0800

I swear this is the VERY FIRST TIME I have ever cheered at the words "what a fag" in the comments section of a blog post. With huge apologies to fags everywhere.

By: Arturus

Arturus — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 08:00:50 -0800

I remain completely unmodded, fff.

By: heeeraldo

heeeraldo — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 20:08:29 -0800

update: the implants had to come out. This ModBlog post has the details.

pus
open wounds
blood
rejected implants
descriptions of pretty gross afflictions
ModBlog is pretty NSFW in general

that should cover it all...

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 20:17:23 -0800

Ah, shame. He could have been a somebody, a contender. He could have had class. Now he's just a bum. A bum with horrible abscesses.

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 20:17:48 -0800

(Oh, and the link is broken)

By: heeeraldo

heeeraldo — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 20:27:41 -0800

fixed link.

By: whoaali

whoaali — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 21:36:58 -0800

He's going to have a problem, because those things are going to shift. With real boobs there is a skin pocket/muscle (depends where you put it) that sort of holds the implant in place. I'm pretty sure there is not a conveniently placed skin pocket right where those tattooed boobs are. And those things are going to roam. This happens with breast implants too, when the skin pocket gives way (generally when you pick implants that are too big). "placement problems" Bottoming out. And worst of all, the dreaded breadloafing.