Comments on: Bacon-licious

Bacon-licious

empath — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:30:17 -0800

The Bacon Cheese Baconburger

By: languagehat

languagehat — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:34:54 -0800

I want one.

By: empath

empath — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:35:33 -0800

also: Bacon Cereal This guy really likes bacon.

By: notsnot

notsnot — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:36:45 -0800

Awesome.

By: dov3

dov3 — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:38:45 -0800

Tasty!

By: Space Coyote

Space Coyote — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:38:47 -0800

I hope he makes baconloaf next.

By: subaruwrx

subaruwrx — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:38:55 -0800

as a vegetarian, I have to say, yum.

By: empath

empath — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:39:44 -0800

i'm pretty sure bacon meatloaf isn't feasable. How about bacon crusted bacon pot-pie?

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:39:47 -0800

*doesn't eat bacon, but begins to ponder a smoked oyster burger...*

By: chips ahoy

chips ahoy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:40:29 -0800

The Christopher Columbus of Bacon?


The Letter of Columbus to Luis de Sant Angel Announcing His Bacony Discovery (1493)

Sir: As I know you will be rejoiced at the glorious success that our Lord has given me in my voyage, I write this to tell you how in thirty-three minutes I pureed the fine bacon that the illustrious King and Queen, our Sovereigns, gave me, where I discovered a great many savory tastes. To the resulting sandwich I gave the name of Porco da Vitória.  Our Redeemer has given victory to our most illustrious King and Queen, and to their kitchens rendered famous by this glorious event, at which all Christendom should rejoice, celebrating it with great festivities and solemn Thanksgivings to the Holy Trinity. Thus I record. 
Yours to command,
THE ADMIRAL

By: danb

danb — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:43:10 -0800

He doesn't say if it was any good.

By: sleepy pete

sleepy pete — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:43:37 -0800

Oh, hell yes. Bacon cereal is not a mistake. Bleu cheese dressing in your bacon cereal is, however.

By: empath

empath — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:44:05 -0800

I don't think the taste was the point.

By: DU

DU — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:47:30 -0800

Needs more bacon.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:48:03 -0800

Anybody else around here want bacon?

By: cashman

cashman — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:50:31 -0800

The raw patty pictures looked like maggots and sauce. Nasty. Can I make the Idiocracy comments yet?

By: maudlin

maudlin — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:54:54 -0800

He obviously cares about detail. Note that each patty has a thumb-sized depression in the middle to reduce their native tendency to turn as spheroid as possible when cooked.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:59:03 -0800

Not enough sodium nitrate.

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:00:02 -0800

Obligatory repost of jonson's "making bacon" link

By: Brocktoon

Brocktoon — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:00:33 -0800

I haven't decided yet if this tops a sausage on a stick, wrapped in a chocolate chip pancake, washed down with Gatorade AM.

By: pax digita

pax digita — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:10:29 -0800

I think I am the first person to have freebased bacon. I was able to keep from laughing out loud right up to then.

By: brain cloud

brain cloud — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:11:45 -0800

He should make a bacon turkey, and then make bacon turkey bacon.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:12:22 -0800

Finally, a burger that can root for truffles.

By: StarForce5

StarForce5 — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:12:49 -0800

The makers of Lipitor suggest chasing it with a chocolate dipped fried Twinkie and pint of Haagen Daz.

By: geekyguy

geekyguy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:18:20 -0800

I was saving that bacon.

By: Afreemind2007

Afreemind2007 — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:20:47 -0800

can I be the first to say: Gross.

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:24:19 -0800

Now all he has to do is figure out how to turn the bacon grease into a Velveeta-like cheese-product.

By: wfc123

wfc123 — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:24:55 -0800

Um, no bacon drink to go with it? Really, I think the adage "less is more" has been permanently eradicated by 21 century civilization.

By: pax digita

pax digita — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:25:25 -0800

Originally I was planning on making one monster patty, but realized it would be nearly impossible to cook it all the way through. I'm probably devoting way too much thought to this, but couldn't you cook a thick bacon patty more thoroughly in a microwave oven than on a griddle?

By: sourwookie

sourwookie — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:26:51 -0800

Well? How was it?

By: charlesminus

charlesminus — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:38:37 -0800

I think this sandwich is a litle unbalanced. It would be perfect if he added a thick slice of spam for contrast.

By: mcstayinskool

mcstayinskool — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:42:07 -0800

You'd have to dump the bread to make this Atkins-friendly

By: dbiedny

dbiedny — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:48:24 -0800

When he figures out a way to combine Nutella and bacon, I will indeed be impressed.

By: TrialByMedia

TrialByMedia — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:50:52 -0800

can he make a bacon crust pizza next?

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:01:07 -0800

Bacon pasta and bacon pizza works surprisingly well...

By: somnambulist

somnambulist — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:02:04 -0800

Now if only that were wrapped in pancetta, battered and deep fried on a stick. That should be the alternate Soylent Green ending.

By: Unicorn on the cob

Unicorn on the cob — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:02:06 -0800

Jesus wept salty, tasty, bacon-flavored tears.

By: Green Eyed Monster

Green Eyed Monster — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:06:07 -0800

I was explaining to a coworker my dietary concerns. The conversation was as follows. Coworker: So are you a vegetarian? Me: No, I just don't eat red meat. I don't like it. Coworker: But you eat bacon. I've seen you eat bacon. Me: Yeah, but bacon is wonderful. Coworker: Good point. I've had this same conversation with many people. And "bacon is great!" is usually enough explanation for most people. So I don't eat hamburgers, but a baconburger sounds like it might be worth a try.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:12:15 -0800

I think I am the first person to have freebased bacon He won't be the last. Bleu cheese dressing in your bacon cereal is, however. BLUE. Christ almighty.. BLUE. Saying 'bleu cheese' is like saying 'blue fromage'. Come on. Please. I'm begging. Update 3/28/05:This is a BACON sandwich, don't ask why there's no lettuce/tomato/egg/cheese/mayo/anything other than bacon on it. An excellent point.

By: Ragma

Ragma — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:23:53 -0800

I've made fried chicken that incorporates bacon in several ways. I've actually tried these - - Marinate the chicken in buttermilk overnight as usual, but include in the marinade lots of ground bacon. Try to make sure lots of bacon stays with the chicken when you dredge it in flour. - Before dredging in flour, sprinkle the chicken with crumbled cooked bacon. - After marinating in buttermilk, wrap the chicken with bacon, dip in buttermilk, then dredge in flour as usual. The first method doesn't work well at all as all the bacon flavor seems to escape into the fry oil. But the other two will give your fried chicken a pretty good bacony flavor. However, the last method doesn't give you crisp bacon, which is a problem as the fat doesn't get rendered properly. The second method works very well. Unfortunately it just doesn't taste right. Fried chicken and bacon don't go together well it seems.

By: runkelfinker

runkelfinker — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:37:12 -0800

This man is a genius, and a hero.

By: doctorschlock

doctorschlock — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:48:12 -0800

Yes! Yes! Is there nothing bacon can't do?

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:49:42 -0800

Fried chicken and bacon don't go together well it seems. Blasphemy.

By: empath

empath — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:49:49 -0800

It can't make anything taste worse.

By: Hicksu

Hicksu — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:01:02 -0800

He doesn't tell us if the final product was good. Did I miss something?

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:13:47 -0800

sleepy pete writes "Bacon cereal is not a mistake. Bleu cheese dressing in your bacon cereal is, however." This is with ranch dressing for "milk," right?

By: thinman

thinman — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:22:08 -0800

You may think you've done a lot of strange things in your life, but until you've put slices of raw bacon into a food processor at 10:30pm, you really haven't even scratched the surface of strange. Without a doubt, this was the oddest experience of my life. Really? And, um... really?

By: ninjew

ninjew — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:27:23 -0800

I was with him right up until the dressing. You go through all that effort, then top it with some plebian flavor-adder?

By: TheOnlyCoolTim

TheOnlyCoolTim — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:35:18 -0800

I feel like the government could build this into an anti-drug commercial.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:39:27 -0800

krinklyfig writes "This is with ranch dressing for 'milk,' right?" Ah, I see that it was really bleu cheese dressing for milk. And that kinda makes me queasy ...

By: Ragma

Ragma — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:44:12 -0800

"Really? And, um... really? I was thinking the same thing. Anyone who is at all adventurous with food has ground enough meat to not even have this register on the strange scale. The other weird thing, as many have mentioned, is that he doesn't talk at all about how it is. Good? Bad? Too salty? Greasy? We'd like to know. Right? Here's my opinion - This person didn't mention whether it was any good because he has zero appreciation for food. He doesn't even know how to cook in my humble opinion. So we need to redo this. We need someone who actually gives a rat's ass about the result, and the documentation, in charge of this culinary experiment. I will do it this weekend. Expect better photos, several variations, and some tasting notes. Please submit suggestions.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:49:44 -0800

BLUE CHEESE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IT IS BLUE CHEESE (OR FROMAGE BLEU) BUT NOT BLEU CHEESE I AM BEGGING YOU HERE OH HELLO DOCTOR, DO YOU HAVE SOME PILLS FOR ME?

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:52:05 -0800

A creamy country gravy made from the drippings could be a much tastier topping, and could be doctored up with mustard seed and lots of fresh pepper, maybe a little sage. I would furthermore suggest cooking this on a proper grill, not a skillet. Served on thick sliced grilled sourdough with baby spinach, grilled onions and a nice slice of tomato. And I don't eat bacon. Quel dommage.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:59:15 -0800

dirtynumbangelboy writes "BLUE CHEESE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IT IS BLUE CHEESE" Hey, I worked in restaurants for almost 20 years. It's always "bleu."

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:06:14 -0800

Uh, it's still wrong, krinklyfig. The substance is blue cheese. Or, as noted, fromage bleu. Saying 'bleu cheese' is a nonsense.

By: hexxed

hexxed — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:07:25 -0800

I will do it this weekend. Expect better photos, several variations, and some tasting notes. Please submit suggestions. posted by Ragma at 2:44 PM Honestly I can say my first thought was to add a bit of Mexican style chorizo to the grinding process then cook it. If you try that before I do please let me know how it tastes.

By: Parannoyed

Parannoyed — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:08:32 -0800

Some suggestions for future experiments: double-deep fried bacon bacon fondue (with bacon cheez-wiz for the fondue) bacon-pie (difficult to cook thoroughly, but just imagine the pure amount of bacon inside the crust!)

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:39:06 -0800

Ragma: I'm thinking you'll want to trim off most of the fat (heresy, I know) before grinding the bacon and making the 'burger'. But, save the fat, render it down, and make a hot vinaigrette for the spinach salad you can have with it.

By: cairnish

cairnish — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:43:07 -0800

I'm dense like cheddar... but if fromage = cheese, then bleu cheese is merely cross-wired and not grotesquely redundant, like Cheese Fromage or Blue Bleu. amirite? Or is it the word-order thing that gives you the vapors? Anyway... bacon!

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:45:16 -0800

I also opted for wheat buns and light Ranch dressing. We've all read about the health advantages of wheat bread over white bread, so that choice should be obvious. That white bread stuff will kill ya. Me loves the dry wit.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:57:19 -0800

Ragma writes "Here's my opinion - This person didn't mention whether it was any good because he has zero appreciation for food. He doesn't even know how to cook in my humble opinion." Of course not. Who else would make such a thing besides someone who doesn't know how to cook. Someone in their 20s, a bachelor, with no real cooking skills and too much time on his hands ... Sounds a lot like me about 10 years ago. Except he ate a whole bowl of bacon immersed in bleu cheese dressing. I don't think that would have entered my thoughts.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:01:03 -0800

dirtynumbangelboy writes "Uh, it's still wrong, krinklyfig. The substance is blue cheese. Or, as noted, fromage bleu. Saying 'bleu cheese' is a nonsense." No more than ordering a croque monsieur sandwich. It's just an affectation and a nod to its European origins.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:03:59 -0800

dirtynumbangelboy writes "Ragma: I'm thinking you'll want to trim off most of the fat (heresy, I know) before grinding the bacon and making the 'burger'. But, save the fat, render it down, and make a hot vinaigrette for the spinach salad you can have with it." Wait ... a vinaigrette made with bacon fat? Wow. Next time my cast iron needs seasoning (which is a good excuse to buy bacon) I'll have to remember that.

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:04:13 -0800

Menu at dirtynumbangeldiner: Appetizers • Chips and Sauce • Sauce with Cheese (served hot with chips) Bar • Pinot Dark • Pinot Gray • Pink • Little Water (Belvedere, Grey Goose) Entree • Blue Ribbon Chicken • Cock with Wine • Roast Pork in a Sage White Butter • Grilled Meat Plate • Filled Chile and Fresh Cream Dessert • Cooked Cream • Burnt Cream • Milk Sweets Sundae • Three Milks Cake dnab, I'd hate to see you faced with ordering off a troca, where Spanglish is king.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:04:56 -0800

Ordering a croque monsier sandwich would also give me the heebie jeebies. A Croque Monsieur is a sandwich. It's a stupid bloody faux-pretentious affectation.

By: Ragma

Ragma — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:09:49 -0800

pretentious Oh the irony....

By: Enroute

Enroute — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:15:28 -0800

Bacon aphorisms.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:16:20 -0800

Oh for fuck's sake, never mind. I continually forget that trying to explain anything to you people is only ever met with a hill of snark. Whatever.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:36:42 -0800

It was worth it for me just for the discovery of "Walla Walla Sweet Onion Mustard With Smokey Bacon". OMG.

By: Ragma

Ragma — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:37:44 -0800

I continually forget that trying to explain ~~anything~~ French cuisine, in a forum thread about a patty of bacon slathered in ranch dressing, to you people is only ever met with a hill of snark. ....... just sayin......

By: petersn1

petersn1 — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:05:21 -0800

Im I the only one who is saying EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

By: Rock Steady

Rock Steady — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:17:28 -0800

pretentious Oh the irony.... You are misquoting DNAB here, Ragma. He is complaining about "bleu cheese" being "faux-pretentious". He would prefer you stick with one language to be strictly "echt-pretentious".

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:21:57 -0800

Fuck off. Seriously. Just fuck right off. Are you really that pathetic that you have nothing better to do than sit here and bait me?

By: "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys

"Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:25:54 -0800

Bacon is kind of gross. Too much fat.

By: "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys

"Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:27:30 -0800

I skim your nickname as "dirty numb bagel boy," and I always think, "oh that poor bagel boy, someone get him a hot bath." It sounds like you could use a hot bath now.

By: Rock Steady

Rock Steady — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:32:24 -0800

Just funnin' ya DNAB. It's an argument about cheese naming. No need for anyone to fuck anything. And I'm at work on a slow night, so, no I don't have anything better to do.

By: spiderwire

spiderwire — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:42:16 -0800

I continually forget that trying to explain anything to you people is only ever met with a hill of snark. If you have to explain your snark to people in the first place, this response shouldn't be a surprise. You set yourself up for that one, sir -- like shooting fish in a barrel. I absolutely agree with you that this is unfair. Shooting fish in a barrel is really more of a Southern cuisine thing, I know, but it's really a travesty the way it gets treated sometimes. For example, the layperson often makes the mistake of thinking that any old barrel will do. Unbelievable! True connoisseurs understand the importance of selecting the right wood (oak is best for preserving the flavor) and pure water (it's surprising how many people miss this). And you would think it obvious that a shotgun is entirely inappropriate -- who wants to pull lead pellets out of their fish? -- but amateurs are always eager to take the easy route. Don't make this mistake! Take care selecting your weapon, and remember: while a small pistol may seem convenient, they lack stopping power and you sacrifice accuracy, which is the entire point; however, going with something more powerful risks reducing your meal to nothing but a fine mist of fish viscera. Stay simple. Oh, and you probably need some fish, too.

By: porpoise

porpoise — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:47:20 -0800

dbiedny - When he figures out a way to combine Nutella and bacon, I will indeed be impressed. I've asked for bacon to be included in a nutella crepe before. It's ok, I generally only like sweet flavours with savoury (ie., syrup on French toast/bacon/sausage), but the texture is a bit wierd. Ragma - I will do it this weekend. Expect better photos, several variations, and some tasting notes. Please submit suggestions. Perhaps try mincing the bacon instead of grinding/blending it. When I make Chinese-style dumplings, hand-minced pork creates a far far better mouth-feel than using ground pork.

By: spiderwire

spiderwire — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:48:31 -0800

Are you really that pathetic that you have nothing better to do than sit here and bait me? Baiting!? Bait is for little girls and Yankees! If you can't bring the fish to your barrel, you make the lake your barrel, son. That means heavy ordnance: dynamite, at the low end. Show those little cold-blooded gill-breathers who's boss!

By: Saydur

Saydur — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:58:49 -0800

All this blue/bleu cheese nonsense is missing the real point brought up earlier. The dressing of choice to smother bacon in is ranch. Bacon, deep fried, slathered in batter, sprinkled with powdered ranch dressing, re-fried, and dipped in ranch. That is a true last meal.

By: spiderwire

spiderwire — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 18:01:31 -0800

The dressing of choice to smother bacon in is ranch. Bacon, deep fried, slathered in batter, sprinkled with powdered ranch dressing, re-fried, and dipped in ranch. That is a true last meal. Yeah, whether you like it or not. I think my cholesterol went up just reading this thread.

By: seawallrunner

seawallrunner — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 18:55:26 -0800

what is this Metafilterish fascination with bacon? checks fridge for bacon. finds none. cries a little

By: xthlc

xthlc — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 19:50:49 -0800

I mean, bacon is OK, but jeez, the MeFi obsession with it is getting a bit much. I will bet you all cash monies that by this time next year bacon will have gone the way of pirates and cupcakes in terms of things that trendy and infantile 18-35 y.o's loudly agree are awesome. Now blue cheese, THAT stuff's the shit.

By: jeremias

jeremias — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 20:01:56 -0800

what is this Metafilterish fascination with bacon? But bacon tastes good, pork chops taste good . . .

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 20:11:34 -0800

THERE IS A GOD and they want us to die fat and happy. Last night I had chicken-fried bacon. Read that again. Chicken-fried bacon. That's right. Battered, fried bacon. With gravy. No chicken, no chicken fried steak. Just battered, fried bacon. Oh. My. Fucking. God. It makes a deep-fried oreos seem like a light, healthy snack.

By: LiveLurker

LiveLurker — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 20:15:40 -0800

OK so let's measure this. xthlc...and by this time next year, if you insist. As I see it, you are calling out mefi's to spend 2008 on the side of "bacon" or on the side of "ranch? No starting with this nonsense prior to 1/1/ought 8, and no comments welcomed beyond 12/31/ ought 8. Can we agree on a scribe for this? Needs to be a trustworhy sort. Not into bacon or ranch. Someone who has the patience to track facts in a given setting. Needs to be someone we all can agree to trust. I think we need to nominate, and then vote.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 20:16:55 -0800

It doesn't matter what you call fromage bleu, it still tastes like Charles De Gaulle's jockstrap. Bacon, on the other hand, is a very nice thing.

By: empath

empath — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 22:50:06 -0800

Chicken Fried Bacon w/Gravy

By: Jon Mitchell

Jon Mitchell — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 23:52:20 -0800

He really should've used back bacon for that. It astonishes me that back bacon isn't more readily available in the States. (Canadian bacon, despite being back bacon, isn't really what I'm talking about...that seems to be cured, and is no good for frying). It just seems to be clearly superior to streaky/belly bacon - so much less fat, so much more delicious bacon. Seek it out if you are a bacon lover.

By: davejay

davejay — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 00:47:46 -0800

I just ate a leftover from a party, half of a baked pear with bloo (heh) cheese inside, wrapped in a strip of bacon. The pear was pleasant, and the cheese a nice counterpoint, but so help me the first thing I did was unwrap the bacon strip and pop it into my mouth.

By: i_cola

i_cola — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 03:43:25 -0800

Surely it's Freedom Cheese Dressing now?

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 04:12:46 -0800

Sorry, ranch dressing on a burger of any sort is simply incorrect. I did like this comment, though: We've all read about the health advantages of wheat bread over white bread, so that choice should be obvious. That white bread stuff will kill ya.

By: h00py

h00py — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 06:21:14 -0800

Bacon and tomato sauce aka ketchup, you people! Ranch is nice, I've just recently discovered it, but Tomato Sauce goes with bacon!

By: VicNebulous

VicNebulous — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 07:44:37 -0800

As the little fat kid on the Simpsons once said, "My heart hurts."

By: VicNebulous

VicNebulous — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 07:47:05 -0800

Actually, that quote was from Bart. Proper context: "But dad, my heart hurts."

By: Ragma

Ragma — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 07:50:27 -0800

I'll be using workaday smoked and cured American bacon. No sense getting fancy with the main ingredient since that would defeat the spirit of the thing. Although I will try to find a sample with more meat and less fat. I'm considering the following - 1) An all-bacon burger built much as the one in the post. Ketchup, mustard, and mayo with thinly sliced red onion, medium cheddar and lettuce, on a regular bun. 2) An all-bacon patty seasoned with paprika, black pepper, garlic and onion, on crusty sourdough, with a vinegary chimichurri sauce. 3) A thin all-bacon patty served open face on focaccia bread, topped with a sunny side up egg, fresh hollandaise, chives, and garlic shoestring potatoes.

By: Ragma

Ragma — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 08:14:15 -0800

Another all-bacon burger. Again not mentioning the taste. And it should be noted the author of the originally linked page has added a comment - "Update 12/26/07: I've gotten a lot of emails asking what it tasted like. It wasn't that bad for the first half of the sandwich, but after that the saltiness was overwhelming. If you plan to make one of these on your own, I'd skip the bacon and ranch dressing toppings. It'd be much better that way."

By: Ragma

Ragma — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 08:24:43 -0800

Bacon Krispy Kreme Burger Another bacon burger

By: chimaera

chimaera — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 09:38:53 -0800

Better butter up that bacon, boy. And bacon up that sausage.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 09:45:36 -0800

Shouldn't his website be called speakgreasy.org?

By: flaterik

flaterik — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 13:24:16 -0800

This seems like the proper place to relate my insane friend's car-camping creation - tinfoil bacon. How to make: wrap your bacon in tinfoil. Seal it up good. Cook on a grill. Let cool to eating temperature, unwrap. You know how normal bacon cooking lets all that fat cook off and escape? Not so with tinfoil bacon! It is just as deliciously awful as it sounds. Now, go forth and try it!

By: wretched_rhapsody

wretched_rhapsody — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 10:57:13 -0800

It's worth $5 to share this: http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/Pork/

By: wretched_rhapsody

wretched_rhapsody — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 11:00:01 -0800

Oops... didn't do that link right, stupid newbie *grumbles at self" Pork is the meat of kings!

By: languagehat

languagehat — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 11:10:24 -0800

You borked it again.

By: wretched_rhapsody

wretched_rhapsody — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 11:34:23 -0800

crap. here we go again... Pork!

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 12:55:39 -0800

Which dork borked the pork? The one from New York? Or Mork from Ork? Or the Monkees' Peter Tork? Or Judge Robert Bork? Or Mickey Rourke? Or DS9's Quark? Or Björk? Or maybe a Snork? Well, pop a cork, rev up the torque and give me a fork, 'cause here comes the stork. Let's play some Zork. (I took pre-emptive punning action... a lot of these were stolen from MetaFilter's Own Lore's "Björk Song", because, hey, it's hard work)

By: wretched_rhapsody

wretched_rhapsody — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 13:45:43 -0800

Funny enough, the dork who borked the pork is indeed from New York.

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 15:27:29 -0800

And I forgot to mention... spork. Thank you and good night. (Tip your waitress, try the veal, not the pork.)

By: junesix

junesix — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 03:33:17 -0800

Did this link come from the most recent webzen post for bacon zen? I was the one who submitted the idea to chaos kitty. I supplied chaos kitty with the bacon decision flowchart, Unified Theory of Bacon, and the bacon chocolate chip cookies to kick it off.

By: Ragma

Ragma — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 14:05:16 -0800

Initial tasting note on the all-bacon bacon burger. Lots of photos and more notes coming. and two more variations. UGH!!! There is a reason bacon comes in thin slices. Making a big patty of this stuff is *not* a good idea. Since only the very outer layer of the patty will get browned at all, you end up with mostly undercooked bacon. And since the fat doesn't render much at all, you end up with much more fat that you would with a pile of bacon slices. The taste was much milder than I expected. Much more "fatty" than "bacony". The wife's only comment sums up my taste impressions as well - [shrug] "Tastes like ham." it tasted much more like ham than bacon. I suspect the lack of browning and the higher percentage of fat caused that. The problem is how the lump of bacon fat lies in your tummy. Bad. My stomach feels like it has a quarter pound of gristle in it. Which I suppose it does.

By: danb

danb — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 14:32:51 -0800

Gross. We appreciate your sacrifice, Ragma.

By: empath

empath — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 15:03:45 -0800

I got it from a messageboard thread, but the 'bacon flowchart' was also posted in the same thread, so it may have originated there.

By: batgrlHG

batgrlHG — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 13:07:59 -0800

As wife of Ragma (Clan of Bacon, Tribe of DeepFrying), I witnessed the making and eating of the burger. Very impressive looking - and very unimpressive tasting. Weird part - Ragma actually ate the whole thing. And then refused to have anything to do with bacon for the rest of the weekend. I was expecting some kind of continuing bacon fest. Ah well. And now the bacon wallet is probably not a good birthday gift, I'm thinkin.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 16:57:24 -0800

Hey, welcome back to the fold, Jon.

By: Ragma

Ragma — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 12:56:08 -0800

"Hey, welcome back to the fold, Jon." I never left. I love this place way too much. When it started it was easily one of the best things on the Internet. Now many years later it continues to easily be one of the best things on the Internet. But y6y6y6 was too much of a bother. I, admittedly, was a wanker too often during the early years and online then tends to shunt one into a certain style. Or maybe I just lack a reasonable grasp on my own identity. At any rate, I never left. I read the site daily, most days. For a long time I bought a new account every few months, but Ragma seems to suit me. And for most of those sockpuppets I behaved politely enough to easily cruise under the radar. I will make an attempt to not be such a ass as I was back in my late 30s.