Hello Kitty is coming for your menfolk

December 28, 2007 10:53 AM

MeFi is no stranger to Hello Kitty. Whether you are a fan or not (previously), her feline popularity, especially among young women, is undeniable. "But what about the guys?" you ask. Unless you were a Thai police officer, Puroland groom, or bought the existing merchandise, there just wasn't anything made especially for you. Sanrio heard the call, and Hello Kitty merchandise designed especially for men is coming soon.
posted by cmgonzalez (39 comments total)

...because only guys wear dark colors. And all women love bubbly and cute (as opposed to "rugged and cool" (last link)). Oh, how i love gender stereotypes.
posted by hopeless romantique at 11:10 AM on December 28, 2007

What's going to happen is that girlfriends will dress their boyfriends up in this stuff.
posted by delmoi at 11:13 AM on December 28, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Hello Kitty has no mouth because she only lives in her adult stage for one day; just long enough to reproduce, and not long enough to require nutrition.

The reason why you never see Hello Kitty larvae?

They're ugly.
posted by Afroblanco at 11:14 AM on December 28, 2007 [8 favorites has favorites]

Printing Hello Kitty on a black shirt, even if s/he/it is giving me the finger, isn't really "for men". She should have a bikini on and be smoking a cigar. Also, a shotgun.
posted by DU at 11:16 AM on December 28, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

The official answer from Sanrio as to why Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth: "She speaks from the heart."
posted by hermitosis at 11:24 AM on December 28, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

"Young men these days grew up with character goods," said Tohmatsu. "That generation feels no embarrassment about wearing Hello Kitty."

The mind boggles.
posted by bokane at 11:25 AM on December 28, 2007

This is stupid. They clearly should have gone this route if they, as hopeless romantique says, were just going to go for all out gender stereotypes.

If it looked cool, maybe I'd be conflicted. But it's ugly and rife with gender stereotypes. Never a good combo. I mean I guess it had a gender stereotype to begin with. But it was cute, dad gummit.
posted by cashman at 11:26 AM on December 28, 2007

I sometimes wear a Hello Kitty tie to work. I don't see any problem with it.
posted by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 11:27 AM on December 28, 2007

More like Hello Shitty, amirite?
posted by shakespeherian at 11:28 AM on December 28, 2007

Merchandise for men, Hello Kitty vibrator, pocket pussy - just wanted to get that one out of the way.
posted by nanojath at 11:28 AM on December 28, 2007

I have a black Hello Kitty guitar pick on a chain. It tickles me. I don't know why, and I tend to lean toward the anti-consumer side of things. So they may be on to something here.
posted by davejay at 11:32 AM on December 28, 2007

Hello Kitty guitar pick. Anti-consumer.

Welcome to Bizarro World.
posted by DU at 11:34 AM on December 28, 2007

HELLO KITTY IS COMING FOR YOU AND THERE'S NO PLACE TO HIDE
posted by darkripper at 11:35 AM on December 28, 2007

I just had a great idea! Disney Princess masturbatory aids!

Each masturbatory aid would consist of a Disney Princess's face rendered in silicone rubber, with an appropriate orifice where the character's mouth would otherwise be. I doubt this could be licensed, so it would be manufactured in China.

My thought process started with Hello Kitty, but Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth, and skull-fucking a silicone rubber Hello Kitty struck me as faintly immoral.
posted by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 11:39 AM on December 28, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Not such a strange men's fashion choice, once you realize it's just brand code for "Welcome, Pussy."
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:39 AM on December 28, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

You got that wrong Ambrosia. It's Welcome Pussy, ....
posted by srboisvert at 11:41 AM on December 28, 2007

This is silly, the hello kitty stuff I own is already totally macho just because I own it.
posted by Iron Rat at 11:45 AM on December 28, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

I find your lack of Hello Kitty… disturbing.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:49 AM on December 28, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

A male friend of mine has the good fortune to be small enough to fit into existing hello kitty merchandise, and buys it! And wears it! And it's darned cute.

Unfortunately, he's gay, so he's not really bucking any stereotypes.

The problem I have with "manifying" Hello Kitty merchandise (mostly that it looks kind of boring), is solved by buying clothes like this from Kid Robot.
posted by hapticactionnetwork at 12:03 PM on December 28, 2007

A KalashniKitty T-shirt would be pretty cool, but most of this stuff I'll give a miss.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 12:11 PM on December 28, 2007

And yes, my entire Flickr collection currently consists of six Hello Kitty-related pictures. I'm a fan, even if I am biting Kitty's ear off in one of those pictures.
posted by cmgonzalez at 12:11 PM on December 28, 2007

LOLHELLOKITTY
posted by ZenMasterThis at 12:14 PM on December 28, 2007

Good lord. Isn't it bad enough that us "menfolk" have already been coaxed into bathing regularly, using forks, folding/hanging clothing, throwing away expired food...
posted by thewalrusispaul at 12:22 PM on December 28, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Pfffft....like Chococat wasn't manly enough.
posted by malocchio at 12:33 PM on December 28, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Hello kitty, goodbye penis.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 1:09 PM on December 28, 2007

As long as they don't expect me to eat anything but Men's Pocky...
posted by Quonab at 1:10 PM on December 28, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

A KalashniKitty T-shirt would be pretty cool

I'd prefer the HK-47, myself.
posted by quin at 1:28 PM on December 28, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

In all seriousness, I would totally buy a silver-embossed HelloKitty snap on leather arm bracer. Fuck, I'd buy a PAIR.
posted by Parannoyed at 1:33 PM on December 28, 2007

Isn't Badtz Maru already Hello Kitty's "for boys" counterpart?

I've always preferred Salutations Pussycat anyway.
posted by Dreama at 1:37 PM on December 28, 2007

Isn't Badtz Maru already Hello Kitty's "for boys" counterpart?

I always thought so. That would help explain my luggage.

(I kid, but of course I know a man with a Badtz Maru overnight bag. Me? I save my Marlboro miles and order the classy, manly stuff.)
posted by gummi at 2:00 PM on December 28, 2007

Don't forget these.
posted by ericbop at 2:05 PM on December 28, 2007

Eric, the problem with those is that they leave a trail that hunters can follow.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 2:38 PM on December 28, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

I would feel plenty manly enough with the Hello Kitty high powered .45 caliber handgun

I have the feeling though that Charles Bronson would demand a Badtz Moru version
posted by afflatus at 4:12 PM on December 28, 2007

This seems like an excellent way for men to tell the world they're either gay or really whipped.
posted by clevershark at 4:35 PM on December 28, 2007

Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth? I guess I am lagging a little here.
posted by bukvich at 5:07 PM on December 28, 2007

Tell me this doesn't rock, haterz.
posted by Wolof at 6:30 PM on December 28, 2007

I am freaking over those bike tires ericbop, I wish they made size 36x12.5 for my tractor.
posted by Iron Rat at 6:44 PM on December 28, 2007

Isn't Badtz Maru already Hello Kitty's "for boys" counterpart?

Except Sanrio retired the Badtz Maru character years ago.


Recently at the Sanrio store in Shinsaibashi they had a Japan Pro Wrestling t-shirt with Hello Kitty on it. But I guess that wasn't manly enough.
posted by emmling at 3:08 PM on December 29, 2007

What, the Hello Kitty bong wasn't tuff enuff awready?! Count me among the males who have, years ago, displayed Hello Kitty, worn Hello Kitty and even fucked Hello Kitty (that would be a link to alt.sex.hello-kitty if there were anything there but spam these days...)

The one thing I still haven't found is a T-shirt in black that isn't cut for a slim girl -- so this might be good news.
posted by sighmoan at 2:18 PM on December 30, 2007