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Resolutions, schmesolutions. Do what it takes to be happy.
December 30, 2007 6:47 PM   Subscribe


 
The CDC says I CAN quit smoking! Well that settles it.
posted by Roman Graves at 6:56 PM on December 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm not going to give up anything or change anything at all this year. Self-improvement is a myth that's used to sell self-help books. true maturity lies in self-acceptance, warts and all.
posted by jonmc at 6:58 PM on December 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


....said the dodo
posted by slapshot57 at 7:06 PM on December 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


How to remove warts.

(Just in case you change your mind ...)
posted by maudlin at 7:10 PM on December 30, 2007 [8 favorites]


Thanks maudlin but I'm not limber enough to reach my butt with duct tape.
posted by jonmc at 7:12 PM on December 30, 2007 [2 favorites]



I'm not going to give up anything or change anything at all this year. Self-improvement is a myth that's used to sell self-help books. true maturity lies in self-acceptance, warts and all.


It's very hard to tell the difference between mature wisdom and just being too tired.
posted by tkolar at 7:12 PM on December 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


Eat, drink, sleep in moderation...and get nasty with your lover.
posted by doctorschlock at 7:13 PM on December 30, 2007




For 30 minutes, at least 3 times a week, think about exercise. Just sit somewhere and think.

30 minutes of thinking about exercising rather than actual exercising? Bored now.
posted by sneakin at 7:24 PM on December 30, 2007


I had a planter's wart on my foot when I was about 12 or so. I picked at it endlessly for probably over a year and it just kept getting bigger and more painful. I finally had had enough and found my mother's pair of big toenail clippers and decided to do a little self surgery. I took the big clippers and positioned it over the wart (which was in the crease between my toe and the pad of my foot) and pressed down as far as it would go, making sure to get as much flesh as I possibly could between the two sharp blades of the clippers. I counted to three and squeezed the clippers together, thus taking out a big chunk out of my foot. It hurt like hell and I bled all over the place. But that fucker didn't come back...
posted by MaryDellamorte at 7:24 PM on December 30, 2007 [2 favorites]


I'm not limber enough to reach my butt with duct tape.

Well of course not, silly! Not with duct tape! You have to use butt tape.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:25 PM on December 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


Bah - everyone knows that taping a piece of banana skin over a plantar wart and keeping it there for a few days is the best way to get rid of them.
posted by ninazer0 at 7:29 PM on December 30, 2007


how to quit smoking -

get abdominal surgery done that involves about a foot or so incision - when you wake up, you will realize that if you smoke, you will cough - and if you cough, you will feel as if you're dying painfully - you will endure the nicotine fits, knowing that they are nowhere as bad as coughing would be

hey, it worked for me
posted by pyramid termite at 7:42 PM on December 30, 2007


pyramid termite

A chest-tube works wonders as well.
posted by milarepa at 7:53 PM on December 30, 2007


Eat, drink, sleep in moderation...and get nasty with your lover

Does warts come into play with that suggestion.
posted by brickman at 7:56 PM on December 30, 2007


They all sound fine, but my number one resolution is to become promiscuous while I still have time. I can skydive and write novels when I'm sixty. I need to parteee while I'm still under 40. Although I suspect the 'get out of debt' section mught help tangentially. Credit companies are sucking up all my party-frock money.
posted by grapefruitzzz at 8:08 PM on December 30, 2007


but my number one resolution is to become promiscuous while I still have time. I can skydive and write novels when I'm sixty.

The real trick is to write novels about promiscuity and you'll kill two birds with one stone.
posted by brickman at 8:34 PM on December 30, 2007


Is the notebook link supposed to link to a specific entry?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 8:38 PM on December 30, 2007


Resolutions, schmesolutions. Do what it takes to be happy.

How to be happy.

posted by not_on_display at 8:47 PM on December 30, 2007


4. Lighten up. Don't take yourself too seriously.

MetaFilter, I'm looking at you.
posted by not_on_display at 8:49 PM on December 30, 2007


Wow. So I guess all askme posts should just redirect to this thread now?
posted by EatTheWeak at 8:56 PM on December 30, 2007


Being happy is tough.
posted by TrashyRambo at 9:04 PM on December 30, 2007


This year's resolution is to start smoking again, drink less responsibly, and get into debt. I've set the bar pretty high, but I'm confident that I'll be up to the challenge.
posted by mullingitover at 12:02 AM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter, I'm looking at you.

Well, gosh, I guess we'd be looking at you too, but you're not_on_display.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:21 AM on December 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


I've set the bar pretty high, but I'm confident that I'll be up to the challenge.

The bar is certainly not high without sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 1:23 AM on December 31, 2007


I don't need to change. It's all you guys who need to learn to accept me as I am.
posted by sveskemus at 1:28 AM on December 31, 2007


They all sound fine, but my number one resolution is to become promiscuous while I still have time.

Time never runs out on promiscuity. I'm going to be the sluttiest old geezer in the old folks home.

"Hey baby, that Zimmer frame really complements your elastic stockings nicely. What say we hit the Viagra and get nekkid?"
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:28 AM on December 31, 2007


I always get a big, sad laugh at stuff like the self-esteem link. They almost always seem to come down to a Pollyana-ish list of "Think nice things" items. Well...duh. As if people who truly lack self-esteem actually made a conscious decision somewhere along the line to dislike themselves. Completely missing the point that, to such a person, thinking nice things about oneself is as foreign, unnatural, and unthinkable as...I dunno...breathing water.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:14 AM on December 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


jonmc writes "I'm not going to give up anything or change anything at all this year. Self-improvement is a myth that's used to sell self-help books. true maturity lies in self-acceptance, warts and all."

I used to think that. But in the last five years, I've quit drinking (which, frankly, would have killed me otherwise), quit smoking, quit most of my sugar intake, started eating better and am learning how to cook, and I started working out. It's actually made a huge difference in how I feel. I was clinically depressed for a few years, but that's gone, all through the changes I've made in my life. As far as self-acceptance, I'm learning that, too, but I've also learned that it has nothing to do with acceptance of my bad habits. I'm fine with other people's habits, good or bad, but self-acceptance has to do with learning who you are, not what you consume.

But I don't do new year's resolutions. Too contrived for me. You gotta mean it to make changes, and so many people make resolutions they won't follow up on for new year's, because they don't really want to change.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:39 AM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


And FTR, I haven't bought one book in making those changes. All of it's self-directed, doing my own research.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:42 AM on December 31, 2007


How to quit masturbation?

Cold jerky.
posted by rhymer at 8:43 AM on December 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


Bunch of quitters.
posted by quin at 9:36 AM on December 31, 2007


"how to be happy" ain't nuthin but the new name of shannon wheeler's comic
posted by rmd1023 at 2:41 PM on December 31, 2007


As if people who truly lack self-esteem actually made a conscious decision somewhere along the line to dislike themselves. Completely missing the point that, to such a person, thinking nice things about oneself is as foreign, unnatural, and unthinkable as...I dunno...breathing water.

I have to argue with that. A lot of what makes one unhappy comes from internal dialogue. I've found the first step to getting over self-esteem issues is to actually "think nice things." They don't have to be about yourself. Just appreciate something. Then, you move onto replacing negative thoughts with happier ones - again - appreciate something. After a while, you'll cheer up enough to risk a tiny, self-congratulatory thought, and, by damn, you start to feel a lot better about yourself and the world. It's not pollyana, it's a habit.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 2:50 PM on December 31, 2007


I have to argue with that. A lot of what makes one unhappy comes from internal dialogue.

Normally, repeated stimuli in response to an action leads to habituation, learning. When bad stuff happens because of what someone is, whether a "correctable" quality or not, kinda gets one down after a while - thinking happy thoughts or no happy thoughts.

Sure, being positive and keeping a bright outlook can help, but after a while it becomes a chore, and sometimes it takes the energy you don't have to keep it up.

My, unsolicited, advice to become more happy is to set a goal and achieve it; the hard part is setting the difficulty of the goal. However, like all things, there's that possibility of failure. Maybe us sad people just have too high of an expectation of ourselves.
posted by porpoise at 8:48 PM on December 31, 2007


How to Do Nothing.
How to Be Idle.
NPR programme on How to Be Idle.

And MetaFilter is the 32nd result for "How to do nothing", in this AskMe.
posted by paduasoy at 1:32 AM on January 1, 2008


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