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The Serial Seducer
December 31, 2007 8:31 AM   Subscribe

Meet Paul Janka. He has recently been featured (twice) on NBC's Today Show, as one of New York's finest lotharios. You can also read his 17-page dating manifesto (pdf). Since his television appearance, reaction has varied from highly negative to positive, with little middle ground. Could he represent a new paradigm for dating in a post-feminist world?
posted by smoothvirus (124 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
Yeah, as long as he's up-front about it. His being a creep and all. After all, if what he's saying is the case, some people are really into that.

Harvard-educated? I guess it true about being unable to make a purse from a sow's ear.
posted by humannaire at 8:36 AM on December 31, 2007


I think they sleep with him to figure out what's holding up his hair.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 8:40 AM on December 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


Is there a christwhatanasshole tag?
posted by TedW at 8:49 AM on December 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


I'd hit that. With some shaving cream.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:49 AM on December 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


Wow! Tom Cruise's dead-inside eyes, and Wayne Newton's dead-inside hair!
posted by stenseng at 8:51 AM on December 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


Any woman who allows herself to be seduced by that is getting exactly what she deserves.
posted by nanojath at 8:52 AM on December 31, 2007


You almost have to have an attitude like his to sort through Manhattan women -- many of which are atrocious human beings, whether victims of their environment or not
posted by gagglezoomer at 8:53 AM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


You almost have to have an attitude like his to sort through Manhattan women -- many of which are atrocious human beings, whether victims of their environment or not


Whoa, have a little trouble getting dates while you were in NYC?
posted by poppo at 8:55 AM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Just as in sales, you need to offer a proposition to your prospect. In fact, this is done on the street in the first 10 seconds when I ask for a telephone number. Shit or get off the pot, right? I found that unless I force a decision upon the woman, I learn nothing about her. Is she open-minded, a risk-taker, or closed and conservative? Can she adjust to new information, or does it confuse her?

Does she roll her eyes or point and laugh hysterically?

And that positive review is from a blogger who closes with the following:

I am wishing this desiccated cunt psychiatrist [who criticized a married man for having sex with several new women each week] labial cancer with my mind.

In other news, Chelsea Clinton is still dog ugly. I predict she will have her first… and only… child at the tender age of 36. The Bush twins, meanwhile, will be very fertile.

posted by maudlin at 8:56 AM on December 31, 2007


Not to be confused.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:56 AM on December 31, 2007


He's a rapey lookin' lil bugger.
posted by The Straightener at 8:57 AM on December 31, 2007 [5 favorites]


I first read the FPP as "Meet Paul Anka." I would have loved to read his tips on being a serial seducer.
posted by Dr-Baa at 8:57 AM on December 31, 2007


Not to be confused.

Although the hair on that "Puppy Love" sleeve is remarkably similar.
posted by TedW at 8:59 AM on December 31, 2007


[Paul Anka]
To bed those ladies 1-2-3
Here's a fresh new way that's trouble-free
It's got Paul Anka's guarantee...
[Lisa]
Guarantee void in Tennessee!
[All]
Just don't talk!
Just don't talk!
Just don't talk!
Just don't talk!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:00 AM on December 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


You almost have to have an attitude like his to sort through Manhattan women -- many of which are atrocious human beings, whether victims of their environment or not

Perhaps they're simply good at detecting a douchebag when they see one.
posted by Mikey-San at 9:01 AM on December 31, 2007


In the 70s people such as this wore heavy gold chains open shits with massive chest hair and referred to themselves as swingers.

(You know who else graduated from Harvard? Our "silver tongued" president who is never at a loss for eloquent words)
posted by edgeways at 9:04 AM on December 31, 2007


I don't see him as the creep that most seem to. I've yet to read his manifesto but he comes across fine to me in the interviews--the only thing I kinda rolled my eyes at was the constant reference to NYC dating as if it's different from any other major city.

I know some people (men and women) who have the same attitude but present the opposite and those are the ones that hurt the most people, imo.

The belief that men are like him and women are not, in my experience, is totally not true. I know WAY more women who are interested in sex-only relationships than men. Actually, I should probably say that I know more women than men who are successful at serial sex-only relationships. I know numerous guys who want that life but can't seem to swing it and I know a couple women who fit into that description, but as far as success goes (meaning, they're living that way), it's no contest: far more women than men.
posted by dobbs at 9:04 AM on December 31, 2007


At least some have been granted the wish Jacques Brel once made.
posted by nicolin at 9:05 AM on December 31, 2007


Dobbs- read the manifesto. It's pure creep.
posted by footnote at 9:10 AM on December 31, 2007


Respect the cock!
posted by Pollomacho at 9:14 AM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Coming soon to a Holiday Inn lounge bar.
posted by 45moore45 at 9:15 AM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


God you can see the insecurity in his eyes. Amazing how he thinks that not being "dominated by the woman's agenda" is something you obtain by manipulating the woman, other than by learning to actually like yourself and not to need another person's approval in order to get through dealing with yourself on a daily basis.

There are many ways to get casual sex if that is what you want. It must be tiresome to have to engage in a mini-drama every time you interact with a woman. Look at the photos. Not a smile in the bunch.
posted by Ironmouth at 9:20 AM on December 31, 2007


I’ve found that women in the City – consciously or not – operate by a societal script that doesn’t incorporate my interests as a man.

They don't go for his script: "act flirty, be a cheap date, and put out."

What a creep. This guy reminds of the origin of the old joke:

Q. "What's the definition of 'making love'"?

A. It's what your girlfriend is doing while you're fucking her.
posted by Rumple at 9:20 AM on December 31, 2007


I'd hit it. And, by that, I mean I'd punch it.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:22 AM on December 31, 2007 [6 favorites]


it's amazing how the most shallow individuals think of themselves as wise and profound...
posted by HuronBob at 9:24 AM on December 31, 2007


I think they sleep with him to figure out what's holding up his hair.

I'm guessing an overly tight fedora.
posted by FelliniBlank at 9:25 AM on December 31, 2007 [4 favorites]


I started reading the manifesto, but it was really too creepy to read more than a couple pages. Apparently his system boils down to: If you want to have sex with random strangers, only spend time and money on the girls that want to have sex with random strangers.
posted by kcalder at 9:25 AM on December 31, 2007


manipulating the woman

Don't get me wrong, I am in complete 100% agreement that he's slimy. But it's not like his dates are saying "no." For that matter, statistically speaking, if he's a rapist he'd have probably been fingered by now.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:25 AM on December 31, 2007


Dobbs, read this followup to the original Jezebel post. If you still don't find this guy supremely creepy, well, I don't know what to say.
posted by Rangeboy at 9:27 AM on December 31, 2007


so ask them out and then bang the shit out of them!

(from the "negative" link)

That would make a good call-and-response for his infomercial, like "set it and forget it."

Douchebag: You know these ladies want it, fellahs. So ask them out ...

Audience: AND BANG THE SHIT OUT OF THEM!
posted by Bookhouse at 9:28 AM on December 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


He's weirdly proud of his accomplishment. But people want to have sex. They really really want to. His philosophy seems rooted in 1st year business school texts, but it's not like this is a guy selling ice cubes to Eskimos. Instead, he's not a physical abomination and he's offering up something that we are biologically hard-wired to desire. It's like a drug pusher being proud of his sales margin.

To paraphrase a line from Citizen Kane, it's not hard to bone a lot of fine ladies ... when all you want to do is bone a lot of fine ladies.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:28 AM on December 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


You almost have to have an attitude like his to sort through Manhattan women -- many of which are atrocious human beings, whether victims of their environment or not

You know, I'm kind of glad this dude exists. gagglezoomer's right that a great deal of women are atrocious human beings, but wrong in that one has to then be like this guy -- who is, like a great deal of men, also an atrocious human being.

I like knowing that there's a douche out there who's scurrying around town, hooking up with lady-douches who are interested in him. It's like a whole other ecosystem, and they're all more than welcome to sex each other senseless. I don't try to pick up weaverbirds by building a nest out of straw, I don't get all luminescent to pick up fireflies, and I don't act like a human male crudmonger to pick up human female crudmongers.
posted by Greg Nog at 9:29 AM on December 31, 2007 [8 favorites]


Honest to god, his manifesto sounds as if it were written by Patrick Bateman.
posted by FelliniBlank at 9:29 AM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


He can name check Harvard and pricey clothing brands all he wants, his manifesto reveals him to be nothing more than a common meathead who wants to get women drunk, attempt to have coerced anal sex with them and then high five his dude friends about it afterwards.
posted by The Straightener at 9:30 AM on December 31, 2007


Honest to god, his manifesto sounds as if it were written by Patrick Bateman.

Man, he was so awesome on Arrested Development!
posted by Pollomacho at 9:31 AM on December 31, 2007


Yeah yeah yeah, sex is great, but how do you meet someone and turn that first few dates into a lifetime of reciprocal respect and happiness? How do you get to a marriage that lasts honest to god past death?

Hooking up is easy; you just need to find a warm willing body. How do you find a life mate? Tell me that lothario. I guess there is no money in that. Maybe that kind of advice you get for free from your mother. But I would still like to know what I can do to get what I want from a relationship.

I mean in addition to listening to grumblebee.
posted by Faux Real at 9:32 AM on December 31, 2007


Having read only the first link (MSNBC) and having watched the linked video, I find this very non-controversial. Whether or not you think he looks creepy, insecure, etc., if you take him at his word (I do), he says that he's up front and honest with the women he dates. For the most part, I think this is responsible and appropriate behavior in the current cultural milieu. What more can reasonably be expected? A man who lies and manipulates to get sex is reprehensible, but I don't get the sense that that's what this guy is doing. Just your typical media hype, here. Much ado about nothing.
posted by flotson at 9:33 AM on December 31, 2007


In general, because like my left better, I like to have the girl sit to my left. That way, I come from a point of strength."

wow, he manipulates himself.
posted by Ironmouth at 9:36 AM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


He's creepy, but yes, it sounds as if he's getting consensual sex, although I wonder if some of the women who've screwed him are now looking at the media coverage of this guy and facepalming.The only thing that seems date-rapey to me (and this is from the Radar excerpt, as I haven't read the entire manifesto, so there might be something else there):

Tell the bartender how it is - she works for you for the 2 hours or so you’ll be there. I tell them I don’t drink but that I am meeting a lady, and that I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable so could they please bring me seltzer waters, in a high-ball glass, with a lime. And call it a Tom Collins. Or a Gin and Tonic if you prefer. Never leave your drink, and don’t let the girl sip it – she will freak out, I guarantee you. If you go to the bathroom, take it with you. When done, take both her glass and yours to the bar and give them to the bartender. Also, I find that drinking 2 or 3 seltzers on top of the meal I ate an hour before (solo or with a buddy) can be a challenge; I usually tell the bartender to make mine almost entirely ice; hers, little ice and stiff.

So beyond the deception about his drink that he knows will freak out his target, he's expecting the bartender to collude with him by making her drinks stronger than standard. He's not just too cheap to buy dinner, he's too cheap to invest in a few roofies. Sorry, that's not up front and honest.

On preview: That Gawker update? Ick. Even Dov Charney wouldn't hire this guy.
posted by maudlin at 9:38 AM on December 31, 2007


He's a superior asshole. I think that kcalder has it right.

Creepy is how he talkes about women HE slept with as "getting screwed" ( and every time he mentions a woman, he includes the factoid of whether or not he slept with her)

"I’m 30, and most of these women have been screwed since I moved
to NYC 3 years ago – about 70 of them."

What's the psychology of someone who talks about his sex life in the passive tense, and seemingly in the third person?

Most of all, he reminds me of that quote from Citizen Kane:

"It's no trick to make a lot of money young man, if money is all you're after"
-Mr. Bernstein

Most everyone is guilty at some point of being single and just wanting some sex, and going out to look for that, but it takes some real commitment to turn that needy drive for fleeting validation into an entire lifestyle...
posted by asavage at 9:39 AM on December 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


[H]is manifesto reveals him to be nothing more than a common meathead who wants to get women drunk, attempt to have coerced anal sex with them and then high five his dude friends about it afterwards.

So he's emotionally stunted, etc. etc. — but, metaphorically, how is this any different than the rest of the silent majority of meathead, sociopathic Americans who have their media facilitate their secret, wordless idolization of this person? I'm more fascinated with the love/hate response.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:40 AM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Protest (too much, it seems) and hate all you want. Most of you women know that you are attracted to (good-looking) men who take control like that.

Are there any women out there who are "woman-enough" to agree?
posted by wfc123 at 9:41 AM on December 31, 2007


Update: I read some of his dating manual. It's certainly creepy and weird (he worries about presenting the left side of his face), but I still haven't found any evidence of dishonesty. Actually, I'd say his approach boils down to good common sense advice for men and women who want to have fun, responsible, casual sex. Be forward, approach people you're attracted to, go on lots of dates, and follow your impulses.
posted by flotson at 9:42 AM on December 31, 2007


Damn you Astro Zombie! You beat me to my own favorite quote!
posted by asavage at 9:42 AM on December 31, 2007


Which is to say that there is a definite titillation undercurrent by running this story.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:42 AM on December 31, 2007


I accidentally saw this guy on the Today show, while eating cereal before work.

He seemed very sad and a little embarrassed about himself, as if his friends have been telling him how cool he is but he can't make himself believe it. When confronted with the truth about himself--that he'd rather be in a long-term relationship and leave all this casual sex behind--he broke almost instantly. I feel a little sorry for him, ridiculous coif and all.

And this guy is far from deserving the title of "modern Casanova". Boning 100 ladies is not that much of an accomplishment, for even the mildly committed. Wearing Abercrombie and Fitch through four years of college is good for thirty without even trying.
posted by Nahum Tate at 9:43 AM on December 31, 2007


could they please bring me seltzer waters, in a high-ball glass, with a lime. And call it a Tom Collins. Or a Gin and Tonic if you prefer.

Wait a second... that's what Bruce Wayne does.

HOLY FUCK, I THINK I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE
posted by Greg Nog at 9:43 AM on December 31, 2007 [15 favorites]


The one potentially interesting aspect of this might be the process by which people become experts on TV. Aren't there players in every bar? Sleeping with a hundred women by age 32 doesn't make a man Wilt Chamberlain. Is he special because he went to Harvard? Does the Today Show schedule interviews with grade school dropouts who are serial baby daddies before the time they get their first jobs, to learn their secrets? Does this guy need some special secret to make women take interest in him? Some here may find his styling greasy, but he's tall, relatively attractive, and the ease with which he makes the middle-aged therapist lady the center of his attention while she's speaking is pretty amazing to me. But that doesn't make him particularly special. Is he buddies with a segment producer on the Today Show? Did he bed one? Did his manifesto attract their attention? I could only make it through the first page. He is creepy in it in a way that isn't apparent on TV. Maybe that's because a Harvard graduate who makes his living as a writer really should write better.
posted by TimTypeZed at 9:44 AM on December 31, 2007


could they please bring me seltzer waters, in a high-ball glass, with a lime. And call it a Tom Collins. Or a Gin and Tonic if you prefer.

Wait a second... that's what Bruce Wayne does.

HOLY FUCK, I THINK I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE


Batman's a giant douchebag? I think we already knew that one...
posted by pupdog at 9:51 AM on December 31, 2007


Time Out New York sums him up perfectly:
“‘They say write what you know,’ explains Paul Janka, the author of a 20-page instructional treatise How to Get Laid in New York. They also say don’t hate the player, hate the game. In this case, it’s easy to actively dislike both.

Janka, 32, thinks of himself as a sexual sociologist; his number of conquests reached three digits several years ago, a milestone he wishes he had commemorated ‘by having a T-shirt made.’ He’s not a professional athlete or a frontman in a rock band. He has no money, lives in a studio with no bathroom (he shares one down the hall) or kitchen, and works as an SAT tutor. Not exactly aphrodisiacs. So how did he manage to ‘pull’ (his classy term) more than 100 women in three years? ‘Pussy is really the second-most-abundant commodity on earth, after water.’ Bold words from a guy with a minifridge.

But Janka does have a system. He tracks his conquests in an Excel spreadsheet and studies his ‘hit rate’ (the number of women he’s taken out divided by the number of women he’s slept with). He’s discovered that of the 30 he took to dinner, he had sex with only two, but that he managed to sleep with 25 of the 40 he took to a lounge for drinks. ‘Dinner is the death knell for getting laid,’ he explains. ‘All it gets you is a fat bill, some yawns and a peck on the cheek.’

He argues that eating is the opposite of sexy: It’s stinky, causes bloating and ‘makes a woman physically self-conscious.’ In addition, ‘an hour (or more) of talking and eating across from a girl is too much time before closing—your bullshit starts to smell.’ Or worse (per Janka), she starts to think of you as boyfriend material—in which case she won’t ‘give it up because she doesn’t want to ruin it.’

Steve Santagati, author of The MANual, argues that a truly masterful dater shouldn’t be deterred by dinner: ‘I could take a girl to see monkeys throw shit at each other in the Bronx Zoo and still go home with her,’ he explains. ‘It’s not about whether I take her to dinner or drinks, it’s about what I do when I get there. Besides,’ he argues, ‘I’ve never been a guy who ascribes to getting a girl drunk or buzzed to get her in the sack; my ego won’t allow it. Seduction is the only way I play.’

But for those less skilled, drinks without dinner do pave the way to easier sex. ‘Janka isn’t that far off the mark,’ says Adam, 38, a media entrepreneur. ‘An empty stomach and alcohol will immediately increase your odds by 50 percent. It’s the legal roofie. It’s obvious he’s not after a relationship, or else he’d challenge himself by at least ordering some appetizers. Pretty pathetic.’

Janka does understand the limitations of his system: ‘All the things that make you a good ‘player’ work against you once you’re in a relationship—it’s a cautionary tale, in a way, for all those aspiring lotharios.’”
posted by ericb at 9:55 AM on December 31, 2007


Totally gross; just perused this clown's "manifesto" and I need a shower.
posted by porn in the woods at 9:55 AM on December 31, 2007


What's with this "cheap date" stuff? There's a lot in his schtick about not spending too much on the gal you're looking to bed. Admittedly, I haven't dated in a while (married) but I seem to recall that in a post-suffragette world, you split the check on a date. Is that over now? Are we back to "diamonds are a girl's best friend" and all that?
posted by TochterAusElysium at 9:56 AM on December 31, 2007


I'm with blazecock on this one... most people suck, he's just more honest about it. Women and men are by and large vapid, stupid, and thoughtlessly self-obsessed in the dating scene, and that likely includes most all of Metafilter- the posters here who pontificate are just better at bullshitting themselves. At least he's getting laid, however fun or disappointing it might be for either him or his dates.
wfc123:Protest (too much, it seems) and hate all you want. Most of you women know that you are attracted to (good-looking) men who take control like that.

Are there any women out there who are "woman-enough" to agree?
I kind of hate myself for saying this, but I also agree with this. It'd be easier to believe the hatin' if women didn't, in fact, sleep with the guy or guys like him. Granted, 100 women by age 32 is... not many at all if you're actively trying to notch big numbers on the bed post.

One of my friends is a guy named, let's say, "Larry". Larry's always been an attractive guy, kind of short, looks like a younger Tom Cruise with a touch of Ben Stiller. He's also basically a douchebag, so much so that I don't know if I still want to be his friend. He sleazily hits on everything that moves, he gets obscenely drunk (fun highlights just from recently: his DUI arrest, or him showing up at a local bar soaked head to toe because he took a nap in a fountain, or the time he hit on our lesbian friend's girlfriend... and then to cement that he was being deliberate, after getting shot down he immediately turned to a gay waiter we know who was sitting nearby and asked "Hey, got any tips for picking up lesbians?".), he's completely insincere and not really a particularly nice person. People who get to know him think he's a walking trainwreck.

But the beauty is that it simply doesn't matter; even when he treats women shabbily, or leads them on (inevitably, they realize he was just using them, and they get all pissed off- at all men of course, not just him, so somehow the rest of us guys get a beating because he's the asshole), they usually find ways to excuse his behavior, or look for the good inside the sleazebag. It's getting tiresome, seeing yet another women get all wet-pantied by his mere presence... there's no "there" there, but he's symmetrical and well-proportioned.

Women are, generally speaking, far more shallow about physical appearance than men.
posted by hincandenza at 9:59 AM on December 31, 2007


How about, "Women (and men) looking for casual sex are pretty shallow about physical appearance"?
posted by maudlin at 10:03 AM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Women are, generally speaking, far more shallow about physical appearance than men.

Are you kidding?? Think of all the celeb couples in which an older, less-attractive man has a hot young wife. Now think of those in which the older, less-attractive woman has a hot young husband. Any? Shallow women go for money and power, shallow men go for looks.
posted by TochterAusElysium at 10:04 AM on December 31, 2007


Women are, generally speaking, far more shallow about physical appearance than men.

You haven't spent much time in gay bars I'm going to assume.
posted by Pollomacho at 10:05 AM on December 31, 2007


I'm guessing an overly tight fedora.

Let's be fair to the fedora guy: he probably has a bit of overconfidence or arrogance, but I don't think he has this creepy weirdly disrespectful manifesto type of attitude going on.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 10:05 AM on December 31, 2007


He needs to meet Ellen and/or Sherrie (authors of The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right).
posted by ericb at 10:06 AM on December 31, 2007


Wait a second... that's what Bruce Wayne does.

That I had the exact same thought may go a long way toward explaining why I am not a modern Casanova. Sorry, ladies, but at Chez Kittens, you'll have to clear a stack of comic books and Battlestar Galactica DVDs off a folding chair if you wanna sit that fine ass down; that's just how the kitten man rolls. Feel free to grab a Coke out of the twelve on the floor or a Rice Krispies Treat out of the box on the counter -- there's more where that came from.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 10:09 AM on December 31, 2007 [18 favorites]


wfc123: Most of you women know that you are attracted to (good-looking) men who take control like that.

There's a big difference between confidence and desperation. Confident men don't need to manipulate women. This guy reeks of desperation, especially in this Jezebel piece. A guy who paws at me like a dog is never attractive. A guy who has slept with 100 women and brags about it as if he's accomplished something is desperately searching for something I can't possibly give him.
posted by desjardins at 10:10 AM on December 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


I'll have to try some of his tips. Thanks!
posted by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 10:11 AM on December 31, 2007


A guy who has slept with 100 women and brags about it as if he's accomplished something is desperately searching for something I can't possibly give him.

A penis?
posted by Pollomacho at 10:13 AM on December 31, 2007


Just a bit of advice for wanna-be douches: these days a Tom Collins is often yellow, since everyone prefers sour mix to lemon juice. At least around here.

So... don't try that little trick with seltzer water, if she works in a bar. Or drinks those.

Actually, don't try that trick at all. Because it's essentially rape, you vapid fuck.
posted by dosterm at 10:14 AM on December 31, 2007


He needs to meet Ellen and/or Sherrie (authors of The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right).

Wow, creepiness squared. They should all mate and give birth to the Date-Scene Antichrist or something.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:14 AM on December 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


Sorry, ladies, but at Chez Kittens, you'll have to clear a stack of comic books and Battlestar Galactica DVDs off a folding chair if you wanna sit that fine ass down; that's just how the kitten man rolls. Feel free to grab a Coke out of the twelve on the floor or a Rice Krispies Treat out of the box on the counter -- there's more where that came from.

And he makes you an adorable breakfast the next morning. What's not to love?
posted by maudlin at 10:14 AM on December 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


I bet this dude has every STD known to man. good luck to him.
posted by genmonster at 10:15 AM on December 31, 2007


I think I just got an internet crush on kittens for breakfast.
posted by piratebowling at 10:38 AM on December 31, 2007


Jesus Christ, 100 is no big deal? Bummer.

Of course my technique involved going to places where people hook up and then continuing to be shy.
posted by Wood at 10:39 AM on December 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


The manifesto reeks of lack of confidence...
Tres sleazy!
posted by KB.Boston_implant.By way of NY at 10:40 AM on December 31, 2007


the really twisted thing is if he could dial it down a bit and actually pay attention to social clues he would probably get more sex, his behavior sounds really disgusting and certainly must work against him.
posted by estronaut at 10:43 AM on December 31, 2007


I have a crush on kittens for breakfast. But my comic book loving boyfriend is right here in bed next to me, so I'm going to redirect my affections.
posted by Liosliath at 10:47 AM on December 31, 2007


Giacomo Casanova is said to have slept with 10,000 women and is very famous for that, but it's revealed in his autobiography that most of those were prostitutes. It puts this guy's "I've slept with over 100 women" boast in a different light, really.
posted by clevershark at 10:53 AM on December 31, 2007


Well, I hate to do it, but I'm calling "meh" on this one. 100 women is not a high number, as others have pointed out, and his advice is pretty shallow: be aggressive and manipulative. Serial sex like this is essentially a numbers game - If you date a lot of people you will get to sleep with a lot of people. When you get rejected, move on.

Now then, what does this guy's behavior say about women? Almost nothing. It says more about people in general. People like to be thought of as attractive, they like other people to pay attention to them, people respect strength and confidence.

Lastly, what's sad about this guy is how unsuccessful he is otherwise. If he truly understood how to manipulate people at the level he claims to he could be making much more money. Let's face it: an economy built on manipulating resources and markets is really all about manipulating people.
posted by elwoodwiles at 10:59 AM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Damn you Astro Zombie! You beat me to my own favorite quote!

That's not the only thing, Adam. I managed to fly an airplane off a treadmill almost a year ago.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:03 AM on December 31, 2007 [6 favorites]


Most of you women know that you are attracted to (good-looking) men who take control like that.

I particularly like it when they creep up on me in the dark because there is something about knowing nothing about a guy including what he looks like that really gets me going. Really any woman whose standards are basically "he wants to have sex with me and isn't afraid to show it" can already sleep with 50% of the men in the known world, I don't know why she'd have to knock boots with someone who is going to go gabbing about it on MSNBC.

Are there any women out there who are "woman-enough" to agree?

See, your reverse metaphor makes no fucking sense because, according to standard stereotypes, you don't have to be "woman enough" to agree you just have to agree because some aggressive guy is trying to browbeat you into it. So I guess I'm non-woman enough to disagree. I like men with manifestos, sure, but not like this guy.
posted by jessamyn at 11:07 AM on December 31, 2007 [6 favorites]


It stalks him, knowing where he sleeps at night. It knows from its many kills that this one will be no different, will even be easier because this one's tongue craves the very taste of its bait. He walks through a dreamworld, not foreseeing nor preparing for the violent anguish of the apocalypse which awaits him.

Love will destroy this man.
posted by koeselitz at 11:15 AM on December 31, 2007 [5 favorites]


Hey, I'd rather not be an atrocious human being and ... uhh, not get laid in a long, long, time.

I'm going to cry now.
posted by not_on_display at 11:17 AM on December 31, 2007


I would just like to say for the record that in more than fifteen years of single-manhood, I NEVER ONCE busted out a spreadsheet in order to analyze my "hit rate."

Make of that what you will.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 11:25 AM on December 31, 2007


TochterAusElysium writes "Admittedly, I haven't dated in a while (married) but I seem to recall that in a post-suffragette world, you split the check on a date."

I haven't dated in a while, either, but I was born long after suffrage, and I still had to pay most of the time. That's fine, and I always sort of assumed that's the way it was. But part of the reason I'm not dating now is because I'd rather spend my time and money pursuing other things, at least right now, so money is a factor.
posted by krinklyfig at 11:31 AM on December 31, 2007


I hope this fucknozzle gets stabbed in the taint. Of course I'm speaking metaphorically here.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:33 AM on December 31, 2007


stupidsexyFlanders doesn't know how to make spreadsheets.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:34 AM on December 31, 2007


Wood, that video is awesome. Bunnies entirely rock, even the ones that haven't had much sex.
posted by Green With You at 11:35 AM on December 31, 2007


I'm surprised that New York City has enough room for all those people that live there *and* this guy's ego.

Maybe though, if all you wanna do is bag some sex, he's on the right track. I don't know. I kinda like the vaginas with which I interact to be attached to people who I like, and who like me. If one doesn't care about that, and it's just the grinding together of pelvises that is the goal, maybe he knows what he's talking about. I'm glad I'm not the kind of guy who'd even care if what this dude says is true.

Overall, my opinion is: he has a dick and he *is* a dick.
posted by jamstigator at 11:47 AM on December 31, 2007


stupidsexyFlanders doesn't know how to make spreadsheets.

it's just that the fingers on one hand was always sufficient.

make of that etc. etc.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 11:50 AM on December 31, 2007


it's just that the fingers on one hand was always sufficient.

And cheaper to take out on a date, too.
posted by Grangousier at 11:57 AM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Regular people hate playas because the former like to think attraction is primary, wholesome and mysterious; guys like this reveal that it is otherwise. Hate the game, not the playa!
posted by zorro astor at 12:04 PM on December 31, 2007


No, I'll hate both, thank you.
posted by Green With You at 12:06 PM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


The sad thing is, all this will probably help him in his candle-dipping undertakings, because shallow people are attracted to fame, even if it is mere notoriety.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:20 PM on December 31, 2007


I hope this fucknozzle gets stabbed in the taint. Of course I'm speaking metaphorically here.

Metaphorically? Is that the metaphorically where you say you "saw" your "father" "march" with Dr. King? Or the one where you kinda wish deep inside in that little squishy secret place that the guy get penis cancer?
posted by Pollomacho at 12:21 PM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


100 women is not a high number, as others have pointed out

Actually it is. The average at age 32 would be something like five to seven. So we're talking many, many standard deviations off the mean. Now, there are a bunch of guys who have slept with far more than 100 women, but that doesn't make 100 not a lot.

Hitting 10 home runs in the majors is a shitload more than most men could do even if juiced up professionals might sometimes hit 60.
posted by Justinian at 12:23 PM on December 31, 2007


On the other hand, it is true that a guy hitting 10 wouldn't hold himself up as the next Barry Bonds.
posted by Justinian at 12:24 PM on December 31, 2007


There isn't anything wrong with going out with a girl for drinks and ordering seltzer. However, it is wrong to be dishonest about it. I can't drink because of medical issues, and seltzer is generally my drink. I don't go out of my way to hide what I'm drinking, but I also don't bring it up unless she asks about it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with this.
posted by Elmo Oxygen at 12:31 PM on December 31, 2007


I don't understand all the hating on this guy - he's upfront about what he's doing (I dont recall him saying anything about getting women who are not interested in him into bed), and we'd be heaping praise on his dogged pursuit of what he wants if we were talking about his career or business.
posted by Calloused_Foot at 12:32 PM on December 31, 2007


What I find really funny is how superior everyone is with the overt disdain for this guy, when I know (I just know!) more than half the guys here read the manifesto and think, "You know, that'd just might work ..."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:56 PM on December 31, 2007


I agree that this guy is overestimating both his success and the role his "system" is playing in it. I'm a sometimes-serial-dating NYC guy, and even without any of this goon's manipulative PUA crap if I were just trying to get laid I'm pretty sure I could beat his time just by being friendly and open - and he's a lot better looking than I am.

(On the other hand, I make a decent amount of money and have a great apartment, so maybe I'm overestimating the role being a decent human being plays in my own romantic success...)
posted by nicwolff at 12:59 PM on December 31, 2007


I'm surprised that New York City has enough room for all those people that live there *and* this guy's ego.

New York City is a bit weird like that -- it attracts big-ego people from everywhere else. I'd venture to say that there are *lots* of people like Janka in the city, but the other ones keep their streaks going by being more discreet about it.
posted by clevershark at 1:15 PM on December 31, 2007


Those who can, do.
posted by semmi at 1:16 PM on December 31, 2007


Those who do, shouldn't.
posted by aftermarketradio at 1:39 PM on December 31, 2007


I read the manifesto before I followed one of the video links; watching the video I was very, very surprised.

Why?

Because the tone and attitude of the text led me to imagine the author as being about 5'9", pudgy, and marked by early-onset male pattern baldness.

Instead, against the distinctly low standards of the pick-up community, this guy is freakishly good-looking. Which, of course, makes his apparently technique-free (well, not entirely technique-free; he seems to rely on getting women at least slightly tipsy) approach perfectly viable.

Even more interesting, but in (to my mind) a more positive light, was the exchange he had with the therapist on the Today Show, which, as I recall, went something like this:

Host: Aren't you responsible for the way women feel after you leave them?

Him: Shouldn't women be responsible for their choices?

Therapist: Um... blah blah blah women's childhood experiences... blah blah blah conditioning from previous relationships... mumble... mumble...


A note on the admittedly tacky Booze Seduction aspect:

Upthread, one of the commenters likened his use of booze to rape. This seems more than a bit off. Think about it: he may be deceiving women about whether or not he is getting drunk, but they are ones responsible for lifting the glasses to their own mouths... and this, in the context of a date specifically with him.

It seems odd to equate not actively preventing a woman from drinking whatever she's choosing to drink with rape.

In fact, even if, as he apparently misleads them into believing, he were to be drinking, few women would reasonably expect him to become *less* sexual in his aims as a result.

By drinking with him, women are essentially making a choice about putting themselves into a state where they know they will be even more easily sexually aroused... while, again, on a date with this specific, particular guy who texted her (and twenty other women) to come meet him that night.


Look, we all know that women tend to be condemned for the same behavior for which men are praised:

Sex with many partners.

In keeping with this, our society imposes a little fairy tale:

For women, sex "just happens"-- whether it was great or horrendous, whether (from the perspective of the following Tuesday) the man involved was a toad or a prince, forces much more powerful than a woman's own agency were-- must have been-- in place.

That is, either Destiny intervened, and she was swept into a world of play and wonder, or Booze/The Moment/Irresistible Manipulative Force/Something happened, and going home with him and having sex was inevitable.

Whereas, unless one wishes to lie to oneself continually, men's aims and means are extremely transparent (men want to sleep with every attractive woman they see, and will take steps to do so, limited only by their confidence and resources), and societally basically factors this in and takes this into account... female sexual power, and female responsibility for sexual participation, is still scary to everyone involved, and so is still subject to fairy tale mystification by both men and women.

The result is TV interviews of somewhat confused-seeming male model-types by middle-aged therapists, who then get to project their guilty Bad Boy fantasies while fanning themselves... and then find themselves mumbling when asked about a woman's own responsibility for her sexual behavior.
posted by darth_tedious at 1:43 PM on December 31, 2007


The average at age 32 would be something like five to seven.

Whoo-hoo! I had that beat at age 32! In your FACE, average American male!
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:49 PM on December 31, 2007


Those who do, shouldn't.

Those that chide those that do for doing, shouldn't.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:59 PM on December 31, 2007


I don't know why, maybe it's because of the hair or the name or just an odd mood I am in today, but I can't read any of the accompanying text about him without picturing him having a funny accent, like Mahir Cagri.

I'm going to choose to believe he does.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 2:03 PM on December 31, 2007


If you're going to go on TV to show off how many chicks you've fucked -- and if, in your early 30s, you've bedded 100+ dames it's more than likely that these are the terms you think of them with), you should expect that people will criticize and (in some cases) utterly loathe you for it. It's not exactly like this guy is being dragged into the spotlight kicking and screaming here.

Like I said I think that there are men in NYC who have done even better than this guy but had the good sense to be a little more stealthy about it. Any woman who recognizes Janka because of his TV appearances and think "oh, it's that creep who's on TV" is one less potential notch on the headboard for him.
posted by clevershark at 2:04 PM on December 31, 2007


"I get slapped a lot, but I get fucked a lot too."
-- Warren Beatty, who has probably done a little better than 100.
posted by Bookhouse at 2:21 PM on December 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


Hey, what do you know....another sociopath....how dull.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 2:23 PM on December 31, 2007


Cool Papa Bell writes "Those that chide those that do for doing, shouldn't."

I guess it depends. It's somewhat to be expected. There are consequences to everything. If you do what you do, knowing that it will upset some people if they know about it, you shouldn't be surprised when you get that sort of reaction from some people. The slings and arrows of your outrageous fortune aren't that much to suffer.
posted by krinklyfig at 2:27 PM on December 31, 2007


He's very handsome. He could have similar success with fewer more attractive women if he didn't insist on being so loathsome.
posted by I Foody at 2:31 PM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


I would have appreciated his honesty if he didn't rely on the collusion of bartenders to make it look as if he were drinking when he's stone sober. That's manipulative and hideous. It's better than that Mystery Method foolishness the way syphilis is better than AIDS.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 3:47 PM on December 31, 2007


He mentions in (I think) the Jezebel "interview" that he doesn't do the alcohol roofie trick much anymore.

Not because it's unethical or anything, but because his job as an SAT tutor makes all those seltzer waters and such too expensive!
posted by dgaicun at 3:58 PM on December 31, 2007


VAGINA POWER
posted by ism at 4:01 PM on December 31, 2007


Just a bit of advice for wanna-be douches: these days a Tom Collins is often yellow, since everyone prefers sour mix to lemon juice. At least around here.

Here being a Holiday Inn lounge in New Jersey? A strip club in Las Vegas? Sour Mix? That's like shopping for dinner at a gas station. Jesus. What's wrong with you? Do you wear dockers and eat that yam and marshmallow monstrosity at Thanksgiving too?

I have to go lie down and pretend this isn't happening. Ew.
posted by cytherea at 4:16 PM on December 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


Anka v. Janka
posted by poppo at 4:36 PM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Those that chide those that chide those those that do for doing, also shouldn't.
posted by Kwantsar at 4:49 PM on December 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Incredibly good looking fellow; I'd take him at his word when he said that he wasn't looking for anything serious, get pissed enough to be able to snigger internally at his cornball lines and save them up for anecdotes afterwards, and then roger him senseless.

I would avoid reading his manifesto.

I don't think I'm his target audience, though.
posted by h00py at 6:26 PM on December 31, 2007


10 years from now...

Kirk: Singles life is great, Homer. I can do whatever I want. Today I drank a beer in the bathroom.
Homer: The one down the hall.
Kirk: Yeah! And another great thing, you get your own bed. I sleep in a racing car, do you?
Homer: I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:42 PM on December 31, 2007 [4 favorites]


Actually, sleeping once with any number of women is not that great of an accomplishment. Have them come back for more, now that would indicate something of a talent.
posted by semmi at 11:33 PM on December 31, 2007


>
A guy who has slept with 100 women and brags about it as if he's accomplished something is desperately searching for something I can't possibly give him.
Yes--an inoculation-or-twelve.
posted by bonobo at 6:55 AM on January 1, 2008


I'm still trying to parse the word "post-feminist".
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:10 AM on January 1, 2008


I'm still trying to parse the word "post-feminist".

That is a regular feminist you get in the male.
posted by Rumple at 11:18 AM on January 1, 2008 [3 favorites]


I had to laugh at this guy, mostly because of his firm conviction that he's running some kind of game or "system", in which he convinces women to sleep with him through clever manipulation. All he's basicaly doing is canvassing numbers of random women to see who might be amenable to no-strings sex, and what he thinks of as a winnowing process of which the women are unaware is giggle-worthy. I can assure you that any woman who meets a guy for a drink at 10 p.m. on a weeknight-- no dinner, no preliminaries indicating interest in anything other than sex-- has already figured out the proposition. He's made his intentions completely transparent; the drinks and talking interval simply allows her a closer look to figure out whether he's worth the adventure and to ensure that he's not unbalanced or dangerous. The women he takes home are not being seduced, believe me. And I actually didn't see anything in his manual (yeah, I read the whole thing) that suggests that he doesn't take "no" for a final answer.

What's particularly amusing about all of this is that he doesn't seem to understand that he's being used and gamed as well. Because he is.
posted by jokeefe at 2:15 PM on January 1, 2008


Most of you women know that you are attracted to (good-looking) men who take control like that.

Please, stop pronouncing him good looking!! He's an insecure-guy's version of what they think women think is 'good-looking', ok?

"Take control," ok, maybe. "Like that," not so much.

Are there any women out there who are "woman-enough" to agree?

Spit-laughed on that, that's hilarious.
posted by thinkpiece at 9:24 AM on January 2, 2008


Gotta drop this in: The "here" I was referring to is St. Louis, and I totally agree that the sour mix in a Tom Collins is a godawful atrocity. But I've seen it in Chicago too. It's the kind of thing I can imagine these smarmy assholes drinking, was my too-obscure-point.

I'm jealous of your fairytale land of good bars. Large swathes of the country have two drinks: Bud or Miller Lite.
posted by dosterm at 2:35 PM on January 3, 2008


Indeed, dosterm. Draught selection 'round here is often like Bob's Country Bunker and music. "We've got both kinds--country and western."
posted by bonobo at 7:48 PM on January 3, 2008


in a bar up the street from me(right by o'hare), the bar tender didnt know how to make a whiskey sour. after checking her bartending manual, she still failed.
posted by garlic at 10:36 PM on January 3, 2008


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