How to Get Rid of that Waxy Buildup ...

December 31, 2007 7:08 PM

Once upon a time, there were some Belgian men with souls of wax (warning: web designers will feel faint and then proceed to vomit), who were told that they had too many disc jockeys, just way 2 Many. They were known for creating bastards. And they helped an uptown girl visit a love shack, and they helped a woman who worked nine to five sound a little more funky than country (backup link).

And they released an album which was called Most of the remixes we've made for other people over the years except for the one for Einstürzende Neubauten because we lost it and a few we didn't think sounded good enough or just didn't fit in length-wise, but including some that are hard to find because either people forgot about them or simply because they haven't been released yet, a few we really love, one we think is just ok, some we did for free, some we did for money, some for ourselves without permission and some for friends as swaps but never on time and always at our studio in Ghent, making it the longest album title. It takes the crown, by 100 characters, from When The Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight And He'll Win the Whole Thing 'Fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand And Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights And If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land And If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You'll Know That You're Right, which was an album which was made by a girl named Apple.)

posted by WCityMike (37 comments total)

"web designers will feel faint and then proceed to vomit" is a complete understatement of the problem. The site uses multiple redirects to block 'back', plays loud music automatically, and contains many, many frames. Clickers beware.
posted by rubin at 7:15 PM on December 31, 2007

jesus christ what is wrong with that website

I can't even articulate it.

I'm going to go drink now.
posted by blacklite at 7:19 PM on December 31, 2007

Yeah, this is one of those web sites that make you want to shut down the window straight away.
posted by clevershark at 7:20 PM on December 31, 2007

head asplode
posted by chillmost at 7:21 PM on December 31, 2007

IANAwebdesigner, and I think the website, and the mash-ups, and the album title, are amusing. But then, I also like this website design for its classic TimeCubiness, so consider the source.
posted by FelliniBlank at 7:32 PM on December 31, 2007

Not even remotely the longest album title, by the way.
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 7:37 PM on December 31, 2007

FUCK THAT THING.
posted by Tube at 7:41 PM on December 31, 2007 [2 favorites]

I just want to say that "Belgian men with souls of wax" has a deliciously dark and poetic ring to it, and somehow made me instantly think of the horrible history of the Belgian's bloody conquest of the Congo, now the country of Zaire. It gave rise to a couple of lines, maybe I'll flesh 'em out into a song eventually.

Belgian men with souls of wax
down to the Congo came
and yet somehow they didn't melt
as their cannons spewed their flame
beneath the blazing Congo sun
their rule stayed hard and cold
those waxen souls in ceaseless crave
of rubber, tin and gold
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:23 PM on December 31, 2007 [6 favorites]

Frankly, the inspiration for this post was mostly wanting to share the Love Shack/Uptown Girl mashup, but not wanting it to be a one-link video post, I wanted to supplement the post a bit and found a few interesting things ... the album title business, the Dolly Parton mashup (I knew of that one already), and of course, when I saw that awful site, I knew it had to be a link. :)
posted by WCityMike at 8:35 PM on December 31, 2007

Also, while searching, I was amused to find that Uptown Girl's been covered by an Irish boy band.
posted by WCityMike at 8:37 PM on December 31, 2007

And, another thing I found out: the steps you see Brinkley and Joel do at the end? That was what led to their relationship. She opened the door, and the first thing he told her was that he didn't dance. So she proceeded to help teach him those steps at the end, and I guess they grew on each other.
posted by WCityMike at 8:39 PM on December 31, 2007

Here's a question that I came up with upon viewing that page, and have also pondered every other time I've seen the page since I heard good things about those waxen souls:

Where's the effing music?
posted by flatluigi at 8:41 PM on December 31, 2007

And now that I've actually heard one of the tracks, I'm disappointed. Not nearly as clever as other things I've heard like, for example, Norwegian Recycling.
posted by flatluigi at 8:50 PM on December 31, 2007

flatluigi: And now that I've actually heard one of the tracks, I'm disappointed. Not nearly as clever as other things I've heard like, for example, Norwegian Recycling.

I feel differently — I'm not, er, really that surprised that the songs of high-pitched male "sensitive" guitarists sound alike. :)
posted by WCityMike at 8:58 PM on December 31, 2007

See, the thing about the mashups is he gets them weaved together pretty good — the Norwegian Recycling thing is mostly just a nicely transitioned medley. There's some really good examples out there of that sort of thing — specifically, I'm thinking of Whistler's Delight and Intro-Inspection.
posted by WCityMike at 9:03 PM on December 31, 2007

My fault, I wasn't paying attention and didn't process that the Norwegian Recycling thing was more than the first link. Duh.
posted by WCityMike at 9:04 PM on December 31, 2007

Well, then, I refer you to my previous post on the subject here for straighter A+B.

I've sleuthed the brothers Soul a bit more and I'm going to go back on me previous statement. They've got some good stuff.
posted by flatluigi at 9:13 PM on December 31, 2007

I just want to say that "Belgian men with souls of wax" has a deliciously dark and poetic ring to it, and somehow made me instantly think of the horrible history of the Belgian's bloody conquest of the Congo, now the country of Zaire

It made me think of Quebec's Rhinoceros Party, which at one point threatened to declare war on Belgium because Tintin allegedly offed a rhino once.
posted by tangerine at 9:55 PM on December 31, 2007

Flapjax: It's the DRC now, I think, not Zaire. So what, though. Anyway, my mind automatically paired your lyrics in my mind to the "Gilligan's Island" theme, god help me. Maybe Soulwax can remedy that, or you'll post it on the Black.

And maybe that would remedy the vertigo and nausea caused by not being warned of loud, un-turn-offable music in that first link. The site woulda been quaint, otherwise.

(Still, fun links.)
posted by not_on_display at 11:26 PM on December 31, 2007

"...my mind automatically paired your lyrics in my mind" brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
posted by not_on_display at 11:27 PM on December 31, 2007

"...my mind automatically paired your lyrics in my mind"

Heh heh! Hey, no worries. I mean, if Paul McCartney can do it ("...and if this ever-changing world in which we live in...") then why not you? The Gilligan's Island melody tie-in is somewhat disturbing, however...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 11:34 PM on December 31, 2007

It made me think of Quebec's Rhinoceros Party, which at one point threatened to declare war on Belgium because Tintin allegedly offed a rhino once.

allegedly?
posted by Rumple at 11:48 PM on December 31, 2007

That's got to be like, the Hitler of websites.
posted by puke & cry at 12:42 AM on January 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

I haven't designed a website in almost 10 years, but this site made me faint. 5 seconds and out.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 1:36 AM on January 1, 2008

I just want to say something rude about Belgians, of whom I have met many surpassing pleasant and phlegmish examples.
posted by Wolof at 3:48 AM on January 1, 2008

Bunch of walloons.
posted by YouRebelScum at 3:53 AM on January 1, 2008

Soulwax used to do the most amazing radio shows on Studio Bruxelle - where the live DJ'ing was as good as any I've heard.

Some of the Radio Soulwax shows are still available on your favourite P2P download service.
posted by mattr at 4:46 AM on January 1, 2008

That Billy Joel Vs The B-52's mashup would sound great if you got rid of all the Billy Joel stuff... and as for Westlife link... I was going to be super snarky, but it's acutely SOOOO bad it's rather glorious.

Oh and that website is a living migraine and long album titles are not big or clever.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 7:46 AM on January 1, 2008

KILL IT WITH FIRE
posted by odinsdream at 7:52 AM on January 1, 2008

New Years Resolution: Use that site instead of the Rickroll. Loud music, no back button. Pure evil.
posted by TrialByMedia at 8:27 AM on January 1, 2008

I saw Soulwax with The Klaxons in Philadelphia earlier this year and they blew my fucking mind. It was that show and seeing Spank Rock and Scottie B in DC a month prior that completely changed the way I approached DJing and broke me out of the over-specialized, crawling-up-my-own-ass 'progressive trance' sound I had been playing for years. Totally blew the cobwebs out and got me excited about music again

They're far better than the novelty act you'd think they were from their mash-ups and albums. It was one of the best electronic dance music acts I've ever seen, and believe me, I've seen ALL of them.
posted by empath at 8:50 AM on January 1, 2008

Here's a bit of their live act.

As always, though, you kind of have to be there.
posted by empath at 9:06 AM on January 1, 2008

I saw Soulwax at the Virgin Festival a few years back, and they were unREAL. Their album "Nite Versions" is one of the most perfect records I've ever heard, start to finish. I think that album itself is a mashup of a previous Soulwax album, also done by Soulwax. Confusing, but so, so gooood.
posted by chinese_fashion at 9:12 AM on January 1, 2008

yeah, they're more of a complete-set type of thing than a single remix out of context type of thing. all you that have seen them live...i envy you. especially you, empath. with klaxons? you bastard.

but yeah, the website...it burns.
posted by mayfly wake at 10:36 AM on January 1, 2008

Oh my god, the website! Make it stop!!! *Had to furiously hit her back button to get away*
posted by Phalene at 2:22 PM on January 1, 2008

the web design is hilarious. it made me larf. i think that is it's purpose. check plus.
posted by 3.2.3 at 3:15 PM on January 1, 2008

Too bad they lost the Neubauten remix. It's the one I actually would have wanted to hear.
posted by mykescipark at 9:23 PM on January 1, 2008