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Action painting
January 3, 2008 4:18 PM   Subscribe

How to Paint a Picture With a Car (Bandwidth-saving Youtube version)

Transcript. Selected works of other car-painters. Explanatory nomenclature. Other works.
posted by ardgedee (38 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
That guy needs to stop smoking doobies and pay attention to the fucking road. Am I the only one who was incredibly bored with the video? Also, what's up with the chick in the bikini standing next to the paintings?
posted by MaryDellamorte at 4:24 PM on January 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


I want my five minutes back.
posted by doctor_negative at 4:27 PM on January 3, 2008


What a pretentious asshole
posted by alexplainlater at 4:27 PM on January 3, 2008


You left off the batshitinsane tag.
posted by puke & cry at 4:30 PM on January 3, 2008


I really fucking hope he's just a bored trustfund kid and that no one gave him a grant for this bullshit.
posted by item at 4:32 PM on January 3, 2008


I would have to say those paintings are mediocre at best. Why can't people rely on actual talent and creativity instead of finding "unusual" ways to make a painting. Maybe I should go find me some pills that change my urine different colors, and make a painting out of my colorful urine. God, I would be so avant garde! And of course I would have to have a strippers dancing around the gallery where my paintings were being showcased...because you know, it's relevant.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 4:33 PM on January 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Sorry MaryDellamorte, someone beat you to that.
posted by puke & cry at 4:35 PM on January 3, 2008


HOLY SHIT! That's fucking hilarious, that really kills me. COME THE FUCK ON PEOPLE!
posted by MaryDellamorte at 4:37 PM on January 3, 2008


He's not really crashing the car, his paintings are just digital prints of cement barrier scuff marks, and his "manifesto" sounds too dada tongue-in-cheek. If he's making fun of people who write art manifestos and take themselves really seriously, he was effective.
posted by hanoixan at 4:42 PM on January 3, 2008


And then, of course, there's Layla Jade, the starlet of 'The Ass Artist' (nsfw), a heartwarming film consisting of paintbrushes held in the anus and enema-inserted paint shot out of the same anus onto canvasses. Classic and classy.
posted by item at 4:48 PM on January 3, 2008


I just gushed into the slipstream.

I like how he's reading that stupid manifesto off his wheel. Funny stuff.
posted by papakwanz at 4:48 PM on January 3, 2008


No, hanoxian, he really totaled a car for art. See the first link.
posted by ardgedee at 4:50 PM on January 3, 2008


If it was a spoof, as hanoixan suggests, then it's ace.

If he's in any way serious, he's a cunt.


I am fervently hoping it is 'a'. That is the significantly more enjoyable alternative and leaves me less in the 'weeping for humanity' camp.
posted by Brockles at 4:50 PM on January 3, 2008


SHIT IS HAPPENING EVERYWHERE
posted by Greg Nog at 4:52 PM on January 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


If it doesn't include a bomb threat that isn't a bomb threat, then it's not art.
posted by maudlin at 4:55 PM on January 3, 2008


No, hanoxian, he really totaled a car for art. See the first link.

Pardon my ignorance, but what does the first link provide that the youtube video does not?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 4:57 PM on January 3, 2008


ardgedee: I really can't tell whether he's actually crashing the car. But, if he was, I'd think the cameraperson would actually show it happening, instead of just showing the driver weaving the (supposedly new, yet with lots of usage-trash on the inside) car back and forth. And the static at the end? Looks like analog static on what I bet was a digital camera. It just doesn't add up for me.
posted by hanoixan at 5:13 PM on January 3, 2008


It's like, sad, that like, BIRDS ARE DYING.
posted by ninjew at 5:18 PM on January 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Shit Sandwich, on wheels.
posted by dbiedny at 5:18 PM on January 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Artist?
Judging by that goatee, I'd say he's a level 8 half-orc necromancer.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 5:21 PM on January 3, 2008


Watching this just makes me sad. What a waste.
posted by 517 at 5:26 PM on January 3, 2008


I like it but i am missing a camera out side the car
posted by Lapiz de Labios - Lips Pencil at 5:34 PM on January 3, 2008


If he's making fun of people who write art manifestos and take themselves really seriously, he was effective.

I don't know if this is a put-on or not because the rest of the writing on his site sounds the same as his "manifesto". Unless the whole site is supposed to be the joke.
posted by puke & cry at 5:44 PM on January 3, 2008


Presently the back of my left hand touches my forehead. The little finger, ring finger and middle finger curl in toward my palm. My thumb is extended and points laterally, while my index finger is in an orthogonal orientation, pointing vertically.
posted by Tube at 5:47 PM on January 3, 2008 [3 favorites]


I do agree though that the "crash" and static were so lame that it seems like it was supposed to be like that.
posted by puke & cry at 5:48 PM on January 3, 2008


I watched it with the sound muted. Did I miss anything?
posted by The Deej at 6:02 PM on January 3, 2008


$9 damage waiver--check.
posted by acro at 6:06 PM on January 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


I think I met him at a salon I went to. We were both drunk. Myself off of the excellent bootleg campari my friends had brought back from San Marino, and he, from some kind of champagne that was on sale at the Safeway. He was working at a used car lot in Paterson and I at a Haband outlet in Hoboken. Yet he, like us all back in December, had big dreams. I was describing the scene in Death Race where Petty's character high kicks this Camaro and it goes screaming into a wall. "What a collision!" I exclaimed. He replied, "yeah, my art's like that." I looked at him, disgusted: "No," I said, "You missed it. Death Race is the art."
posted by parmanparman at 6:12 PM on January 3, 2008


fatuoustool tag missing.
posted by docpops at 6:24 PM on January 3, 2008


I giggled at "massive unit."

I do think the photo-prints, which are actually pretty neat, would have been better received without the silly video. This guy would do better to shut up and let his art speak for itself.
posted by bilgepump at 6:32 PM on January 3, 2008


Better car paintings.
posted by gottabefunky at 6:33 PM on January 3, 2008


I like the pre-disappointed thrill of hoping he'll crash before he means to because he's reading from notes while he drives. And I always hope that people that do that will do that (with no harm to others or our dear mother earth of course).
posted by freebird at 6:37 PM on January 3, 2008


Christ, what a dingus.
posted by tristeza at 7:11 PM on January 3, 2008


What a pretentious asshole


Those words, are they not a trifle damp?

This is because they were previously in my mouth.

Then, they were stolen.
posted by CynicalKnight at 7:44 PM on January 3, 2008


This guy took Fight Club waaaay too seriously.
posted by LordSludge at 8:00 PM on January 3, 2008


**facepalm**

On behalf of art students everywhere, I apologize. I'm so remorseful, I shall commit seppuku.

Actually, I'll automate an effigy (constructed entirely of duct tape and shellacked feces) of me to commit hara-kiri in a meaningful, Rube Goldberg-esque manner to a soundtrack of grapes being squished while a covey of doves takes flight. The whole time, I shall read you my manifesto while I am dressed in a bikini.

I can haz grant?
posted by bonobo at 8:03 PM on January 3, 2008


oh futurism. ten points for fighting fascism with fascism + boners.
posted by es_de_bah at 12:37 PM on January 4, 2008


ok, I'll bite. This guy seems to be halfway between serious and 'taking the piss' as they say, which is a nice place to be in my book. And I really like looking at the scuff marks up close and detailed, as you can only do with those photographs. That combined with the idea that he had to run out into the fastlane of the freeway to get these totals up to awesome.

Right on bro. Keep it going...
posted by garethspor at 8:32 PM on January 4, 2008


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