... over 6 months of experience in online dating and relationships
January 10, 2008 5:15 AM   Subscribe


 
I looked and looked but couldn't find this guy's page.
posted by TedW at 5:31 AM on January 10, 2008


Well, I was rejected from eHarmony for being overqualified. Maybe I'll give this a shot.
posted by aftermarketradio at 5:36 AM on January 10, 2008


I was rejected from eHarmony because I once gave money to Dukakis.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 5:52 AM on January 10, 2008


eHarmony secretly bought classified gaydar equipment from the North Korean military. It's all very hush-hush.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:03 AM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


I was rejected from eHarmony for failing to submit an application.
posted by DU at 6:05 AM on January 10, 2008


I was rejected from eHarmony because I am Spartacus.
posted by Greg Nog at 6:07 AM on January 10, 2008


IMO these videos pale in comparison with the dating agency clips from Smack the Pony
posted by FidelDonson at 6:09 AM on January 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


I was rejected from eHarmony because I am how babby is formed.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 6:13 AM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


I was rejected from eHarmony because I am a founding member of eDiscord.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:22 AM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


I thought Iran was the leader in gaydar technology.
posted by CautionToTheWind at 6:49 AM on January 10, 2008


CautionToTheWind: Iran has no homosexuals, and thus no need for gaydar technology.

I was rejected by eHarmony because I am an unlovable monstrosity.
posted by absalom at 7:01 AM on January 10, 2008


I was evicted from eHarmony. I had to live in a lake!

But you try telling that to kids today. And they won't believe you.
posted by The Bellman at 7:06 AM on January 10, 2008


I was rejected by eHarmony because I'm Satan.
posted by hojoki at 7:08 AM on January 10, 2008


You don't fool me, Eartha Moon! You can change your name and turn into a man in drag... I still remeber you from our brief but quite serious silver-knife-glistening-in-the-moonlight-tryst there in the basement of that art school. I never thought you'd apply for a dating site, though. I guess you can still surprise me. Let a thousand petals drown in the hatred of our love, my pet. SOMEDAY WE WILL MEET AGAIN
posted by soundofsuburbia at 7:11 AM on January 10, 2008


I didn't even apply to eHarmony because I am already a member of paperHarmony, and I like the feel of a good Harmony in my hands. Also, I get eye-burn from the screen.
posted by taliaferro at 7:11 AM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Also, I get eye-burn from the screen.

Listen, I already told you: Don't put your eyes directly on the screen. Just look at it from a safe distance. OK?
posted by lodurr at 7:24 AM on January 10, 2008


*peels face from monitor, begins online dating*
posted by taliaferro at 7:28 AM on January 10, 2008


I was rejected from eHarmony because I am normal.

I always wanted to set up a fake eHarmony profile and see what comes up.

Male, 34, zoo feces engineer, spent 2 years in jail for zoophillia, 4'1', 210, 3 hairs, loves to give back massages while petting your cat.
posted by dasheekeejones at 7:35 AM on January 10, 2008


I'm an eHarmony reject, and am now living in eHell.

Damn you, eHarmony! : shakes fist :
posted by metrocake at 7:42 AM on January 10, 2008


Oh yeah, eHarmony upside-down is almost huowJeHa. Think about it.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 7:54 AM on January 10, 2008


I tried dating a garden once. It didn't work out well, every time I brought her flowers I had to explain that I wasn't trying to set up a threesome.
posted by quin at 8:51 AM on January 10, 2008


I was rejected from eHarmony because my name is David Crosby.
posted by spock at 9:33 AM on January 10, 2008


I was rejected from the Eye of Harmony, because I'm The Master.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 9:34 AM on January 10, 2008


I'm on MetaFilter because I was rejected from eHarmony.

I was rejected from eHarmony because I used to date former members of the Groundlings (Elvira and Pee Wee Herman).
posted by wendell at 1:19 PM on January 10, 2008


I wasn't rejected from eHarmony...

What?
posted by saysthis at 2:43 PM on January 10, 2008


I liked eHarmony so much I bought the company
posted by mmrtnt at 2:55 PM on January 10, 2008


I was rejected by eharmony 'cause I'm kinda funny looking.

it's true.
posted by CitizenD at 2:58 PM on January 10, 2008


I didn't just buy eHarmony. I'm also a member.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:51 PM on January 10, 2008


In Soviet Russia, eHarmony is rejected by YOU!
posted by Talanvor at 12:04 AM on January 11, 2008


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