The blue in the blue
It is true
A smurf for me
A smurf for you
Smurfilicious smurfiness to you all! posted by sien at 7:31 PM on January 14, 2008
Well, listen, like ... a friend of mine has this real weird theory about Smurfs. But I've been thinking about it, and I think it's kind of cool. Actually, I kind of agree with it. It's like about Krishna. You know, like Smurfs are blue. And he's saying that Smurfs are, like, getting kids used to seeing blue people. And it's like, you know, with Smurfs being blue ... kids see blue people, they, like, relate to Smurfs. And they relate to blue people when Krishna comes about, you know.
Christ, I wasn't allowed to watch the smurfs when I was growing up. Thanks for rubbing it in my face! posted by MaryDellamorte at 7:37 PM on January 14, 2008
Blue Smurf,
Red Smurf,
All we want is dead Smurf,
Kill Smurf,
Smash Smurf,
Break, Twist, and Maime Smurf.
Out comes a punk at dusk,
Killing Smurfs is a must,
Dead Smurfs feed his lust.
He hates Smurfs,
We hate Smurfs,
Kill Smurfs.
Take a Smurf,
Blow up it's head,
Smear around the blue stuff,
Cause its dead.
Point a gun,
Shoot its face,
Smurfs are a disgrace,
To thee human race.
Blue bodies,
Blue brains,
Smurfs drive me insane.
White pants,
Friends with ants,
Goody goody oh so lame,
Smurfs are gay all the same.
Papa Smurf,
Great Smurf War,
Slam a Smurf in your front door,
Live in the forrest,
Underneath a tree,
Kill a Smurf,
Then go free,
It isn't a crime,
To maime or blind,
Kut and Kill,
Little blue pill,
Kill, kill, kill.
Smurfs are blue,
Papa is red,
Who gives a shit,
Shoot them dead.
Smurfs are shit,
Shit is Smurf,
Smear there asses in the turf,
No Smurfs.
Anti Smurf,
Anti Blue,
Anti Papa,
Anti You,
Kill Smurfs,
Kill Papa,
Win the war,
No prisoners,
Kill Smurfs,
Everything that moves,
Shoot that which is blue.
Anti Smurf is good.
Oh no!
There back,
Prepare for a...
Neo Smurf attack!
Pro blue,
Little scum,
Squish one under your thumb.
Your all alone,
In your home,
You find a Smurf,
Break its bones.
Blender Time,
Blue Shake,
Kill it with a garden rake,
Anyway you can,
Rid this plane,
Little blue people drive you insane!
Global Domination,
Mass Frustration,
Nuclear bombs everywhere,
Little children without any hair.
Melting the hinges on your front door,
Aftershock of the Great Smurf War.
Take a Smurf,
Smash it's head,
Smash it,
Smash it,
Til it's dead.
Smurf Smurf,
Make me puke,
Smurf Smurf,
Use a nuke,
Smurf go away,
Smurfs are hella gay.
Splat a Smurf,
Melt and twist,
Smash it's tiny, mangled wrist.
Smurfs are dead,
Smurfs are insane,
Little blue bodies,
Little blue brains.
Smurf Smurf,
We want you dead,
Smurf dead Smurf chop off your head.
Bloody Smurf,
Cut Smurf,
All we want is dead smurf.
Take a Smurf,
Stab it with a knife,
Turn around kill Papa's wife,
Use a pipe,
Bludgean it to death,
[:=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=:]
[ (c)Copyright 1985-Chaotic Computing ]
[:=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=:] posted by item at 7:39 PM on January 14, 2008
(note: I was very much not involved in the writing of the above) posted by item at 7:40 PM on January 14, 2008
Yeah!!! A chance to use my sockpuppet!!! posted by Smurfbutcher Bob at 7:45 PM on January 14, 2008
^
^
^
That was me. posted by Cyrano at 7:46 PM on January 14, 2008
Does anyone else remember an "angry Smurf," who happens to be the only black Smurf you've ever seen? That doesn't seem smurfy to me. I am smurfing something? posted by Admiral Haddock at 7:50 PM on January 14, 2008
Thanks, amyms. I needed some smurfing up today! posted by Hugonaut at 7:53 PM on January 14, 2008
Thanks for the extra links, Bromius and Cyrano. How very smurfy of you! And item, that's... eek... quite a ditty.
*thinks happy, smurfy thoughts to get the lyrics out of her head* posted by amyms at 7:54 PM on January 14, 2008
Yeah, I read it on a BBS when I was 10 or 11 and it's been with me ever since. Sorry to have to pass it on to you fine folks, but there was really nothing I could do about it. posted by item at 7:58 PM on January 14, 2008
LES SCHTROUMPFS
Je schtroumpfe
Tu schtroumpfes
Il schtroumpfe
Nous schtroumpfons
Vous schtroumpfez
Ils schtroumpfent posted by zouhair at 8:00 PM on January 14, 2008
Yay, Smurfs! I had no idea they were that old. That's tremendous. posted by agregoli at 8:23 PM on January 14, 2008
I think I speak for all of us when I wonder, out loud, why the hell Cyrano registered "Smurfbutcher Bob" as a sockpuppet over a month ago and NEVER MADE A COMMENT WITH HIM BEFORE NOW. posted by yhbc at 8:37 PM on January 14, 2008
yhbc said: I think I speak for all of us when I wonder, out loud, why the hell Cyrano registered "Smurfbutcher Bob" as a sockpuppet over a month ago and NEVER MADE A COMMENT WITH HIM BEFORE NOW.
Clearly, Cyrano is psychic and foresaw my post. But, yeah, I wondered the same thing. posted by amyms at 8:40 PM on January 14, 2008
I would like to humbly submit one Jason Webley's inspired millenarian crowd-participation cover of the theme song, performed live just over a month after 9/11.
I'm hosting over a 128k DSL line, so please excercise patience.
Fa la la la la la - la la la la la - fa la la la la la - la la la la la. Truer phonemes never writ nor sung. posted by mwhybark at 8:55 PM on January 14, 2008
No post about Smurfs is complete without mention of the maybe-even-pre-usenet tale of Smurf sex.
I saw this in the late 80s in college... to this day I still easily recall the phrase "for hers is the indefatigable furburger" in its horrible, wonderful, thesaurus-raping glory. posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:59 PM on January 14, 2008
Astro Zombie, I have known the originator of the Krishna Smurf Theorem since we were about 13. He currently resides in the Bay Area, and the KST is only one among his several works of genius. He is the person who delivers the speech you've so cannily referenced. posted by mwhybark at 9:00 PM on January 14, 2008
Hm, on examination of the quote, maybe he didn't come up with it. I have a recollection of hearing it from him on a visit home before the film came out, but of course, who knows when that was shot - he lived in Austin from around '87 to '89 or so. He moved to the Bay Area just in time for the Northridge quake. posted by mwhybark at 9:03 PM on January 14, 2008
*begins screaming, stabbing and stomping at all the small bitey things* posted by loquacious at 9:21 PM on January 14, 2008
Stinkin' Commies! posted by P.o.B. at 9:32 PM on January 14, 2008
Also, new female smurfs?
"There have been dramatic changes in socio-cultural values in the past 20 to 25 years," Hendrik Coysman, head of Smurf rights holder IMPS told a news conference on Monday. "One of these is girl empowerment."
"So, there will be a greater female presence in the Smurf village and this will, of course, be a basis for new stories and this will probably turn upside down certain traditional situations within the village."
Smurfette is now no longer the town whore. Rejoice! posted by cmgonzalez at 9:40 PM on January 14, 2008
God I hate the smurfs.
(Not to smurf all over your post or anything, I'm just sayin'.) posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:27 PM on January 14, 2008
First saw the Smurfs early 80s when figurines were being given away by BP petrol stations. I had always thought they were an early 80s creation of BP!
Definitely didn't know until now that they had such a pedigree.
I remember regularly watching the Smurfs cartoon and finding it enjoyable. Waaay too enjoyable for my age. I could never figure out why.
And now very recently, I'm working with a Chinese girl who's only been living here a few years and she's humming this damn earworm of a song. Finally I ask her, and it turns out to be the theme from the Smurfs cartoon.
Smurfed as fantastic. posted by grouse at 2:16 AM on January 15, 2008
Does anyone else remember an "angry Smurf," who happens to be the only black Smurf you've ever seen?
Les_Schtroumpfs_noirs. It was a communicable disease transmitted by an insectoid vector, not a racial thing.
So, there will be a greater female presence in the Smurf village
Aside from Smurfette, there was already Sassette (who was created to be a sister for the Smurflings, three aged reversed Smurfs), Nanny smurf, and Baby smurf whose gender was never revealed. posted by Sparx at 3:23 AM on January 15, 2008
Isn't it ironic that there was only one female yet the guys never minded their blue balls?
Ok I was going for something there. posted by dasheekeejones at 3:59 AM on January 15, 2008
First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have... reproductive organs under those little, white pants. It's just so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. You know, what's the point of living... if you don't have a dick? posted by pxe2000 at 4:12 AM on January 15, 2008
pxe2000? What the hell kind of name is that? It's like some sort of superhero or something. posted by Phanx at 5:06 AM on January 15, 2008
On sait, en passant, que 'le smurf' est une danse en France? Un peu comme le break-dance. posted by Phanx at 5:24 AM on January 15, 2008
I think I speak for all of us when I wonder, out loud, why the hell Cyrano registered "Smurfbutcher Bob" as a sockpuppet over a month ago and NEVER MADE A COMMENT WITH HIM BEFORE NOW.
One part alcohol, one part Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time. Add a splash of $5 and shake vigirously. posted by Cyrano at 6:44 AM on January 15, 2008
One part alcohol, one part Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time. Add a splash of $5 and shake vigirously.
[/derail] posted by pxe2000 at 1:15 PM on January 15, 2008
Here is a link to an absolutely NSFW video of a live-action Smurf porn. Did I mention this is NSFW because it is. posted by Lusy P Hur at 2:48 PM on January 15, 2008
While we're on a member name theme, I'd just like to point out that Lusy P Hur, above, is Lucifer. In the style of this chap, but a poorer effort.
I used to play that Colecovision game all day long. It never got any harder, or varied in any way really. I think I just kept playing it in the hopes that something, anything, would change. Kinda like Facebook addiction I guess... posted by Hal Mumkin at 5:00 PM on January 15, 2008
I had that game on the Commodore 64. I'm sure it was some kind of deranged bootleg port, because 1) the controls were completely impossible and bizarrely quantized, such that one push forward moved you 10 little mincing smurf-steps, and 2) the background music was not Beethoven's Pastoral but rather a SID of Michael Jackson's Billie Jean.
I still played it. It was less frustrating than BC's Quest for Tires. posted by darksasami at 2:17 AM on January 16, 2008
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He did say he felt a little blue...
posted by ZenMasterThis at 7:27 PM on January 14, 2008