Join 3,494 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


Trilobite Creationism
January 16, 2008 11:40 PM   Subscribe

Worship the Trilobite. [Via Pharyngula.]
posted by homunculus (32 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
I, for one, salute our trilobite overlords.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 12:01 AM on January 17, 2008


And to show your devotion, you too can actually wear, near your heart, the fossilized remains of these majestic beings who once trawled the sea floor in mighty swarms, eating decomposed fish shits.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:17 AM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


How dare you mock Trilobite Creationism. I'm horribly offended, goddamn fundamentalist mefites!
posted by MaryDellamorte at 12:19 AM on January 17, 2008


Wow, those things must be almost 6,000 years old! What section of Noah's Ark were they in?
posted by orthogonality at 12:33 AM on January 17, 2008 [3 favorites]


trilobite tag spelled wrong!
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 2:47 AM on January 17, 2008


Feh. Your god is extinct. Mine is alive!
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:33 AM on January 17, 2008


Trilo bites.
posted by wendell at 3:40 AM on January 17, 2008


So, horseshoe crab created us all? Huh. Odd...
posted by Pecinpah at 5:13 AM on January 17, 2008


George Hart's trilobite cookies.
posted by Tube at 5:37 AM on January 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


Thanks for this. Now that I've seen a chart of a trilobite's internal organ structure, I know right where to stab one. If I ever need to.

It never hurts to be prepared.
posted by hermitosis at 6:26 AM on January 17, 2008


Resist the incursions of the sinister trilobite agents! Teach your children to recognize their identifying marks! They are everywhere, they want your bodies, they will stop at nothing!

They typically have a head bit called a cephalon, a middle segmented thorax bit, and a tail bit called a pygidium. They are benthic and vagile, and probably occupy many roles in the food chain.INCLUDING DEVOURING OUR CHILDREN!! THEY MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS!

UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this
IMPORTANT INFORMATION is ENCOURAGED.
posted by ikkyu2 at 6:45 AM on January 17, 2008


I've searched and searched, but I can't find a trilobite beanie baby.
posted by nax at 6:49 AM on January 17, 2008


YAYA
I used to go fossil hunting as a kid and a trilobite was a major score. Not like your hum drum crinoid stems or stinkin brachiopods. .holy grail = Eurypterid. gotta go find me a POTATO BUG or PILL BUG to kick around. Y'think Trilobites rolled up in little balls like that? Doe anyone know what the heck Im talking about. ? Does anyone care?
posted by celerystick at 7:37 AM on January 17, 2008


celerystick: Y'think Trilobites rolled up in little balls like that? Doe anyone know what the heck Im talking about. ?

This, by any chance? (Bottom left pic on this page.)
posted by hangashore at 7:43 AM on January 17, 2008


Thanks Dr. Hangashore!
posted by celerystick at 7:55 AM on January 17, 2008


Q: How many trilobites does it take to screw in a light bulb?








A: 4, cuz they're so dang stupid!


Alternate: Trilobites didn't exist, they are spurious fossils planted by Jesus to tempt the non-believers and basically help sort out who needs to go to hell.
posted by Mister_A at 8:28 AM on January 17, 2008


Lay of the Trilobite.
posted by thomas j wise at 9:01 AM on January 17, 2008


I have a tattoo of a trilobite on my right deltoid muscle. It's directly above my archaeopteryx. This means that, for all practical purpose, I am your new god.
posted by stet at 9:31 AM on January 17, 2008


trilobite tag spelled wrong!

D'oh! Got it.

I meant no offense, oh great Trilobite Diety, I swear!
posted by homunculus at 9:53 AM on January 17, 2008


i want to see "giant trilobite vs. colossal squid"

i wonder which has more goo inside.
posted by CitizenD at 9:58 AM on January 17, 2008


Trilobites are great.

Some of them may have actually evolved bifocal lenses.

(Euan N. K. Clarkson, co-author on that paper, was my tutor at university and is the worlds leading expert on trilobite vision - bet you didn't think that subject was broad enough for experts)
posted by thatwhichfalls at 10:05 AM on January 17, 2008


Q: How many trilobites does it take to turn on a lightbulb?
A: About a gallon.
posted by Citizen Premier at 10:39 AM on January 17, 2008


I'm kinda wishing they had these in the local fish store now. Instead I have to content myself with various shrimp.
posted by jquinby at 10:42 AM on January 17, 2008


Not so, jquinby.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:00 AM on January 17, 2008


ikkyu2: you just sent my brain back about 15 years. Nicely done.
posted by Ella Fynoe at 11:08 AM on January 17, 2008


I have a tattoo of a trilobite on my right deltoid muscle. It's directly above my archaeopteryx. This means that, for all practical purpose, I am your new god.

At most that makes you a prophet, but I won't believe it until you post an image of your tattoo in this thread. And don't try to use the fact that the img tag is disabled as an excuse; a real prophet isn't bound by the minutia of reality.
posted by homunculus at 11:14 AM on January 17, 2008


Did you hear about the prehistoric computer disk they found? Apparently this thing could hold about a trilobyte.

I'll be here all week.
posted by kcds at 12:39 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Nothing is more old school than a trilobite with a college education.
posted by wendell at 3:18 PM on January 17, 2008


The song: Trilobite. I saw this group in Seattle last year. They use a variety of instruments in their act, including toy (musical) instruments.
posted by augustweed at 3:31 PM on January 17, 2008


Hey, that's my state fossil you're mocking.

(Truth be told, the only reason I'm not joining you is that I can't come up with any good trilobite jokes. *weep*)
posted by aine42 at 4:47 PM on January 17, 2008


This thread made me very happy. I had no idea there were trilobites with eyes on stalks.
posted by IcyJuly at 2:19 PM on January 18, 2008



Official New York State Fossil bitches!
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 9:57 AM on January 27, 2008


« Older "The purpose of this mod is to add back into the g...  |  Nitroeconomics (if you want to... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments