Comments on: DANGER POINT!! YOU LEFT THE OVEN ON!

DANGER POINT!! YOU LEFT THE OVEN ON!

XQUZYPHYR — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 09:50:36 -0800

(warning: contains heavy amounts of all-caps and awesome)

By: champthom

champthom — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 09:54:12 -0800

The moral of the story here is: kids, don't do drugs.

By: kuujjuarapik

kuujjuarapik — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:02:21 -0800

STRIKE ONE, NANCY... STRIKE ONE heh.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:03:19 -0800

I'm seeing the all-caps, but I think the awesome was replaced by a bunch of Grampa Simpson stories...

By: yhbc

yhbc — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:03:29 -0800

HOLDEN CAULFIELD FUCKING LIVES Man, I hate Holden Caulfield.

By: L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg

L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:05:24 -0800

Man, I hate Holden Caulfield. I always figure Holden Caulfield would have hated Catcher in the Rye.

By: bryanjbusch

bryanjbusch — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:09:55 -0800

This is nearly illegible for all the capital letters.

By: everichon

everichon — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:12:41 -0800

No.

By: stbalbach

stbalbach — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:15:39 -0800

For 30 second short stories, not bad. Appealing in the context of a message thread, sort of post-modern taken as a whole.

By: Partial Law

Partial Law — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:19:33 -0800

Ctrl-A -> Right-click -> LeetKey -> Text Transformers -> To Lowercase.

By: JaredSeth

JaredSeth — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:21:30 -0800

I know they'd be easier to read without the ALL-CAPS, but I wonder if they would lose something. I really like the accident prone camping trip attempts.

By: pupdog

pupdog — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:23:41 -0800

I've only read a few, and already I can tell 'dave' would either be my best friend, or I would be punching him in the head often. Possibly both.

By: Drexen

Drexen — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:26:05 -0800

I should dislike this guy's style, but I don't. I GODDAMN LIKE IT.

By: CaptMcalister

CaptMcalister — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:30:52 -0800

This is what the internet is good for.

By: wowbobwow

wowbobwow — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:31:11 -0800

Metafilter: THE ANSWER IS TAWNY

By: cashman

cashman — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:31:24 -0800

Just remember ALL CAPS when you spell the man name.

By: soundofsuburbia

soundofsuburbia — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:31:37 -0800

SO SO SO AWESOME! I actually laughed out loud at the camping trip one and now I'm hooked and my potatoes are boiling over. Still, THIS!! THIS IS A FIRE!!, I guess.

By: Rock Steady

Rock Steady — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:31:51 -0800

I am sitting here with tears pouring down my face I am laughing so hard. "ANYWAY THERE WAS THIS ONE GIRL NAMED CINDY WHO WE ALL HATED. SHE WAS ENORMOUS (WHICH OBVIOUSLY ISN'T A GOOD REASON TO HATE SOMEONE BUT THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE 12) AND SHE HAD ABSOLUTELY NO TONE TO HER VOICE. SERIOUSLY. WHEN SHE SPOKE IT SOUNDED LIKE A TRASH COMPACTOR HAD JUST COME TO LIFE AND WAS TRYING TO COMMUNICATE. " Thank you, XQUZYPHYR.

By: gompa

gompa — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:32:34 -0800

I reckoned "heavy amounts of awesome" was some kind of hyperbole. I stand corrected. And you can't lose the ALL CAPS, the ALL CAPS are your HEART. WHAT COLOR IS THE COUGAR? GOLD? NO! BROWN? NO! RED? NO! THE ANSWER IS TAWNY. I'm just gonna start quizzing people on the street randomly like this, I think.

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:32:37 -0800

DANGER POINT! DANGER POINT!

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:32:55 -0800

It is my belief that the caps were intentional. The actual stories will not change if you use the Leet Key Add-on, but they do, indeed, lose a certain flavor. With caps, I feel like I'm reading stuff from an old BBS, when people were limited to all caps (in certain cases), but were still intelligent. Favorited for the next time I want to have a beer and hear funny dumbass stories and there's nobody else around. Excellent find!

By: TrialByMedia

TrialByMedia — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:33:16 -0800

SO THIS ONE TIME I WENT TO VISIT AN OLD HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND IN SMALL-TOWN WISCONSIN. HE WAS A FILM STUDENT AT COLUMBIA AT THE TIME AND HE WANTED TO SHOW ME HIS LATEST FILM. FOR SOME REASON OR OTHER HE COULDN'T GET HIS PARENTS' VCR TO OPERATE SO WE WALKED A COUPLE OF BLOCKS TO HIS GRANDMA'S HOUSE. "HEY GRANDMA, WANT TO SEE MY LATEST FILM?" HE ASKS WHEN SHE ANSWERS THE DOOR. OF COURSE GRANDMA WANTS TO SEE THE FILM, SO WE HEAD TO THE LIVING ROOM. SHE OFFERS US COOKIES. THE FILM WAS SHOT ON 16MM BLACK AND WHITE AND WAS TITLED "LA FIN DE L'AFFAIRE" (THE END OF THE AFFAIR). AFTER THE TITLE SCREEN WE SEE THE DIRECTOR HIMSELF CALMLY SMOKING A CIGARETTE. AS THE CIGARETTE BURNS, THE CAMERA SLOWLY ZOOMS OUT TO REVEAL THAT HE HAS BEEN GETTING A BLOWJOB FROM HIS ASIAN EX-GIRLFRIEND THE ENTIRE TIME. THE FILM ENDS. GRANDMA LAUGHS HARDER THAN I DO.

By: cortex

cortex — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:37:21 -0800

There was a period here during which I could not actually breath. My chest was heaving, yes, but ineffectually, with neither air coming in nor mirthful vocalizations egressing. GREEN GROWERS

By: FuturisticDragon

FuturisticDragon — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:37:33 -0800

This is amazing -- so if I understand correctly, this whole thing panned out during the early winter of 05? God bless the internets. You think this guy was making this stuff up on the fly (if, so genius) or perhaps he was simply copying text to the screen from a personal journal or something -- which is less impressive, but still inspired.

By: Brockles

Brockles — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:37:35 -0800

That's brilliant. Why on earth isn't the guy telling these to people for money? Favourite is the camping one.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:38:03 -0800

Metafilter: SHE CLAIMS HER NAME IS 'ESMERELDA' BUT SHE LOOKS LIKE A JANE TO ME.

By: TrialByMedia

TrialByMedia — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:39:54 -0800

are these made up? they're hilarious one way or the other. for the record, the film viewing at grandma's house story is 100% real.

By: never used baby shoes

never used baby shoes — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:40:10 -0800

YOUR HOO-HAS ARE FLOATIN AROUND THE POO I'm totally using that in my meetings this afternoon.

By: Aversion Therapy

Aversion Therapy — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:45:07 -0800

I HAVE A HEADACHE NOW.

By: spec80

spec80 — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:45:46 -0800

This is totally helping me out at work today. Thank you.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:50:21 -0800

He had me at "EVERY GODDAMNED CHRISTMAS MY DAD AND MY UNCLE RON GET INTO IMPORTANT ARGUMENTS ABOUT POLITICS AND THE BEST AIRPORTS IN ZURICH AND WHICH PRESIDENTS ARE ASSHOLES IN PERSON AND THAT SORT OF THING." Fantastic post.

By: goo

goo — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:50:35 -0800

These are hilarious - thanks. I don't think davesecretary got much work done that day.

By: notmydesk

notmydesk — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:56:17 -0800

These are brilliant.

By: CitrusFreak12

CitrusFreak12 — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:00:55 -0800

These are hilarious! And this is somewhat true: "the caps make me feel like i'm running really fast with dave and he is yelling to me because you have to yell when you run and when you do it always sounds super important."

By: Dr-Baa

Dr-Baa — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:06:03 -0800

These are so great. The ALL-CAPS was annoying at first, but it makes it easier to pick out the good posts.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:07:05 -0800

HE LOOKED UP IN A HURRY, I CAN TELL YOU THAT MUCH, AND TURNED GODDAMNED WHITE WHEN HE SAW CINDY IN FRONT OF HIM, HER MONSTROUS MOUTH OPEN AS WIDE AS A HIPPO'S. I FELT AWFUL FOR HIM. My wife thinks I'm insane, laughing like a lunatic up here. This is pure comedy gold.

By: Terminal Verbosity

Terminal Verbosity — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:12:28 -0800

Fucking. Brilliant.

By: spinturtle

spinturtle — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:21:16 -0800

I think it's the all caps yet deadpan delivery of the totally hysterical that does it for me. Loved Kyle and the hockey puck. Forehead. hee.

By: iamkimiam

iamkimiam — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:26:39 -0800

I wonder if his other uncle D is also named Dave.

By: cortex

cortex — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:28:16 -0800

"the caps make me feel like i'm running really fast with dave and he is yelling to me because you have to yell when you run and when you do it always sounds super important." Yeah. I think Matt and Jess should do a podcast like that sometime. Or it could be a recurring segment: Jogging With Mefites, a three minute interview between a field correspondent and an interviewee, while they cover a half-k.

By: mkultra

mkultra — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:28:17 -0800

I know they'd be easier to read without the ALL-CAPS, but I wonder if they would lose something. YEAH, EVERYTHING THAT MADE IT AWESOME.

By: king walnut

king walnut — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:37:06 -0800

The style reminds me of Lynda Barry and her Comeek. Am I right?

By: mccarty.tim

mccarty.tim — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:37:30 -0800

I have Alex, the new Leopard voice in OSX, read it for me. It's better, but he should be yelling it. Hopefully they'll fix it in version 10.5.2.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:39:28 -0800

I WISH ANGELFIRE WOULD DIE A THOUSAND FUCKING DEATHS AND EVEN THEN IT WOULD BE A THOUSAND TOO FEW.

By: Edgewise

Edgewise — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:40:47 -0800

King Walnut, I thought the same thing as you. Especially the cougar quiz.

By: teraflop

teraflop — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:42:44 -0800

These stories are actually lowercase. It's just that the world was in ALL CAPS.

By: Brak

Brak — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:47:06 -0800

I'm just gonna start quizzing people on the street randomly like this, I think. That's how I felt about Kathy Griffin imitating Paula Abdul:

I work my ass off Jeff! Where's Jeff?

I find myself walking around saying that to random strangers. Nice find, XQUZYPHYR. I laughed a lot.

By: generalist

generalist — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:47:18 -0800

I HOLD MY GROUND: "NO, I THINK THIS WOULD BE BEST" thank you so so SO much XQUZYPHYR.

By: roll truck roll

roll truck roll — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:52:09 -0800

I was so prepared to hate this. We should get this guy a Metafilter account.

By: bristolcat

bristolcat — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:13:00 -0800

I didn't expect much from this either, but clicked on a whim. Seriously, this is one of the best posts I've seen in a long time. Thank you so much, XQUZYPHYR!

By: shinynewnick

shinynewnick — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:14:17 -0800

I had to stop reading these about halfway down the page because I'M GIGGLING LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL AT WORK AND PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT ME AS SUCH.

By: VicNebulous

VicNebulous — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:15:44 -0800

Almost like the immortal B1FF, but with grammar lessons...

By: synaesthetichaze

synaesthetichaze — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:24:09 -0800

I'VE WATCHED A VIDEO ON SAFETY. Best post in the last month, thanks.

By: steef

steef — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:26:57 -0800

YOU STUPEED KEEDS!! YOU TAKE ALL MY BALLS! YOU PROFIT FROM MY SUCK!

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:29:00 -0800

I don't get it.

By: aftermarketradio

aftermarketradio — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:30:30 -0800

I just figured out how to make these like a billion times better. Imagine Gilbert Godfrey as the speaker.

By: Big_B

Big_B — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:44:38 -0800

Holy crap read the pool story with Kyle. I am crying at work, and it is good.

By: deCadmus

deCadmus — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:47:21 -0800

I think I really grok the concept of pell-mell now. 'In my mind it will be forever rendered, PELL-MELL.

By: Dr-Baa

Dr-Baa — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:57:11 -0800

A bit of Google stalking uncovered FUCK YOU, MY COMICS ARE GOLD

By: shinynewnick

shinynewnick — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:58:51 -0800

Ah, here's a link to an updated davesecretary thread on vivalavinyl.org, some new stories down the page.

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 13:08:00 -0800

It's like potato chips. You can't have just one and you just keep going and going. The all caps make me think I'm hearing these stories from an eccentric person who is a little slow, but then you realize this person isn't slow at all, but is sophisticated and has a wide and hilarious vocabulary and then I realized the whole conceit was contrived and some of the magic went away which means all of the magic is going away and quickly pooling on the floor like spilled milk.

By: quin

quin — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 13:12:03 -0800

Reading this, I feel a sort of kinship. It's like my Id crawled out of my body, took some creative writing classes, glued down it's caps lock key and started posting to some forum I've never even heard of. Although, a couple of years ago when that actually happened, it wasn't nearly as funny as this, so never mind.

By: internal

internal — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 13:17:04 -0800

This has just killed my entire afternoon.

By: spoobnooble

spoobnooble — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 13:18:58 -0800

Indoor voice, please.

By: domakesaypat

domakesaypat — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 13:32:29 -0800

When all-caps are good, they're just so good. There's something very 'Crime and Punishment' about it, except instead of killing someone to prove you're a superhuman, you're just making people read much faster

By: jcruelty

jcruelty — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 13:33:06 -0800

haha these are great

By: klarck

klarck — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 14:12:32 -0800

ALRIGHT, SO I'M TRYING TRYING TO COME UP WITH A TRADEMARK WAY TO BEGIN MY COMMENTS ON METAFILTER AND I START READING ABOUT THIS FUCKING DAVESECRETARY GUY...

By: kickingtheground

kickingtheground — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 14:40:06 -0800

javascript:void(document.body.style.textTransform='lowercase');

By: tawny

tawny — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 15:11:42 -0800

good enough to sign up for. Thanks.

By: quin

quin — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 15:49:48 -0800

Shhh! Did you guys see that? I could have sworn I saw something tawny moving through the thread. Be careful! There may be cougars about!

By: Laugh_track

Laugh_track — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 16:09:32 -0800

These are really charming. They remind me heavily of "A Christmas Story", which is also set in the Midwest. Suddenly experiencing a strong urge to move there and raise myself a charming family. After global warming and all that.

By: tawny

tawny — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 16:15:52 -0800

Shhh! Did you guys see that? I could have sworn I saw something tawny moving through the thread. Well, after happily lurking for years, I finally came across the name I had to have.

By: localhuman

localhuman — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 16:29:29 -0800

Pure genius. Especially the golf story: YOU KEEDS.. YOU STUPEED KEEDS.. YOU.. YOU.." CONTINUES THE GOLFER. HE FIGURES OUT WHAT HE'S DRIVING AT: "YOU PROFIT FROM MY SUCK!". BUT BEST OF ALL IS PEET'S REPONSE. HE'S JUST ENRAGED BEYOND MEASURE AT THIS POINT AND IS SHAKING BOTH FISTS IN THE AIR LIKE A SHAMAN. "I DON'T WANT YOUR SUCK!!!" The whole you profit from my suck vs. i don't want your suck pretty much sums up most days on metatalk.

By: KingoftheWhales

KingoftheWhales — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 16:44:48 -0800

I laughed, and I laughed, and then I cried. I am not quite half way through the page. Thank you, XQUZYPHYR.

By: AwkwardPause

AwkwardPause — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 18:02:53 -0800

I wish he'd draw his comics in all caps, too. Prolly make 'em better.

By: wowbobwow

wowbobwow — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 18:39:41 -0800

I totally bit myself on my swollen canker sore on the side of my cheek when re-reading the "NOW YOU'VE DONE IT" story and eating cereal at the same time. Laugher and pain, mix'd together! Try top this, internets.

By: tristeza

tristeza — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 18:53:38 -0800

If you like this, you'll love Bad News Hughes. Talk about a way to kill about 5 hours before you know it.....and be crying the whole time.

By: tkchrist

tkchrist — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 19:39:06 -0800

I think I am related to this guy. So I will tell a story in homage: BTW. RIGHT NOW I AM IN PARIS, FRAAAAANCE. WHICH WOULD BE AWESOME BUT MY WIFE BROUGHT HER MOTHER WITH US. MY MOTHER-IN-LAW. WHO NEVER TALKS. UNLESS IT IS ABOUT WHAT RELATIVE HAS CANCER. YOU HAVE TALK TO HER LIKE YOU'RE MIKE DOUGLAS AND INTERVIEW HER WITH CAREFULLY PHRASED QUESTIONS THAT CANNOT BE ANSWERED WITH YES OR NO. SHE HAS SUCKED ALL MY ENERGY OUT OF MY EYE SOCKETS. SO HERE WE ARE. STAYING IN A HISTORICAL APARTMENT NEAR THE JEWISH QUARTER ON THE RUE DES ROSIER. BORED OUT OF MY SKULL. RIGHT OUTSIDE THERE IS A PLAQUE ON THE WALL OF THE BUILDING MEMORIALIZING THE NAZI OCCUPATION AND GESTAPO ROUND UP OF THE JEWS IN THE AREA. THEY WERE DEPORTED TO DEATH CAMPS. TO WHICH MY MOTHER-IN-LAWS ONLY VOLUNTARY REMARK SO FAR THIS WHOLE TRIP HAS BEEN: "AW. THAT IS SAD" THAT IS ALL.

By: Sticherbeast

Sticherbeast — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 21:27:00 -0800

I'm adding this as a favorite, not only because it's awesome, but because I have some very important work to do, and this is going to stop my work cold in its tracks, because the amount of awesome is in excess of typical standards and practices.

By: Mikey-San

Mikey-San — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 21:50:16 -0800

XQUZYPHYR, you forgot the batshitawesome tag.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 21:55:20 -0800

I was prepared to not like this but IT IS AWESOME.

By: monkeyx-uk

monkeyx-uk — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 00:36:36 -0800

This has been the best thing I've read here for A LONG WHILE THANK YOU. aside: The caps lock thing is clearly intentional (as he occasionally replies without caps when not telling a story as such) and I admire the bending of the forum format to his will. People on this thread who complain about it or worse try to circumvent it would probably look at a picasso and try to make it more realistic.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 01:23:27 -0800

Garrison Keillor is a /b/tard.

By: evilcolonel

evilcolonel — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 06:03:18 -0800

As I read this I hear the voice of one of my relatives or old friends from school, with their middle Canadian accent, and it makes them seem so authentic. This is exactly what it was like to grow up in Canada in the 80s-90s. "MY REEDS! MY FUCKING REEDS!"

By: RokkitNite

RokkitNite — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 06:37:25 -0800

I actually can't work out why I find this funny. But the caps seem to be the graphological equivalent of yakkety sax.

By: craven_morhead

craven_morhead — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 08:20:54 -0800

I should not be reading this in class.

By: granted

granted — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 12:06:51 -0800

So let's get something straight here. Yes, the caps and vivid language and dave's good memory all contribute to the hilarity, but it's KYLE that cranks up the awesomeness factor to about ten billion. KYLE ROCKS!!!!!

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 13:25:20 -0800

Holy crap this is awesome.

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 13:37:14 -0800

"FINALLY THIS ONE OLD MAN ACROSS ME STARTS SHOOTING THESE BALEFUL LOOKS AT HIS COMPATRIOTS, AND THEN ADDRESSES ME DIRECTLY: "SON, YOUR HOO-HAS ARE FLOATIN' AROUND THE POO'" I repeat. Awesome.

By: eponymouse

eponymouse — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 18:41:35 -0800

I laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and then I threw up. ...Favourited!

By: Ian A.T.

Ian A.T. — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 03:46:45 -0800

Some quick Googling reveals that Dave Secretary used to be a member of the bands Van Johnson and Black Actors. His current project is called "hrswhip," and he released an instrumental album last year. Also, he apparently just moved to Anhui, China.

By: dabitch

dabitch — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 05:39:52 -0800

"THAT OLD LADY.. SHE PUT IODINE ON MY SACK. IODINE, DAVE."

By: asok

asok — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:24:06 -0800

Some people read faster than others.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 19:20:25 -0800

WHEN I WAS FOURTEEN WE WERE ON A SCHOOL TRIP TO PRAGUE AND ME AND MY FRIENDS DAVE AND ROELAND DIDN'T WANT TO VISIT THE STUPID JEWISH CEMETERY SO WE WANDERED OFF FROM THE TOUR AND HUNG OUT IN THE CITY ON OUR OWN AND THEN WHEN WE GOT BACK WE HAD BOUGHT DAVE AN ICE CREAM AND TOLD HIM TO PRETEND TO CRY AND WE SAID SORRY DAVE GOT LOST AND WE FOUND HIM CRYING AND WE BOUGHT HIM AN ICE CREAM I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND

By: goodtips

goodtips — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 08:09:33 -0800

Reading this reminds me of my hometown where i grew up. Our Canadian neighorhood used to speak in that accent back in the 80s. But, frankly, it's rather difficult to read all in CAP.

By: Rock Steady

Rock Steady — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 13:58:40 -0800

Some quick Googling reveals that Dave Secretary used to be a member of the bands Van Johnson and Black Actors. Heh. I assumed he was a guy named Dave who was a secretary at work.

By: strike3

strike3 — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 15:51:00 -0800

I'm late to this thread, but the all-caps rendition of amusing anecdotes seems straight out of John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany. That rates as the best book that I was ever forced to read for school (a good mix of literature and pop fiction), and these stories are right there with it.

By: lifelock

lifelock — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 21:05:51 -0800

Yeah, I love baking... and I always got burn when cooking..\m/

By: dersins

dersins — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 16:47:31 -0800

Not sure how I missed this the first time around, but that link is crafted from the finest grade of awesome.