If your beer keg runs out early, there is probably a drunk midget inside

January 21, 2008 7:27 PM

Hollywood Midget Movie Stars.They started as popular vaudevillians. (From a review: "The chief feature, however, was the ten scenes in which the Singer Midgets appeared. The Midget strong man, the Midget conjurer, the Midget "Cleopatra" with the winning ways--these and many more were there.") They stormed the New York stage. They were members of The Lollipop Guild (YouTube link), as well as playing other Munchkins. They were suspected of being German sympathizers. But they may be best remembered for starring in the world's first all-midget musical western. Now available for your viewing pleasure from YouTube: Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
posted by Astro Zombie (32 comments total)

The word "midget" is used historically in the context of this post. Because it has often been used pejoratively, it has, in modern uses, generally been replaced by Little Person, or Dwarf. (More.)
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:31 PM on January 21, 2008

RIP Billy Barty. (He passed away six months after the second clip.)
posted by miss lynnster at 7:38 PM on January 21, 2008

I have a good Billy Barty story. But I will only tell it in memail. And ONLY if you promise not to post it anywhere public.
posted by tkchrist at 7:42 PM on January 21, 2008

tkchrist, you must share it with me. I swear not to post it anywhere.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:45 PM on January 21, 2008

The offer was ONLY to you Astro Zombie.
posted by tkchrist at 7:49 PM on January 21, 2008

I am completely freaking out right now.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:50 PM on January 21, 2008

My high school had a drug and alcohol free graduation celebration, and having had plenty of drug and alcohol fueled celebrations throughout the previous 3 years, I decided to attend. It was held at a local health club, so all sorts of games and such were planned, and it seemed rather interesting. My mom, who was under no illusion about the irony of me and several of my friends attending this event decided to become involved on the planning committee. One of the ideas was for the planners to write to a bunch of famous people and ask them for a letter of support to the students attending this event. Mom got tasked with this and asked me who to send these pleas to. I scoured my brain for the strangest and most unlikely stars to endorse such an event. The memories of who responded have faded for the most part, but what sticks out in my mind the most was the handwritten letter from Billy Barty telling us to have fun at our "drug and alcohol party".
posted by horsemuth at 7:50 PM on January 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

Long live Tony Cox and Verne Troyer!

Oh, and: "This house is clean"
posted by not_on_display at 7:51 PM on January 21, 2008

^ tkchrist: you bastard. You coulda just MeMailed it to AZ without dangling it in front of our faces. Pbhhhhht!

At least give a hint!!
posted by not_on_display at 7:54 PM on January 21, 2008

...without dangling it in front of our faces

I used to date a (insert non-perjorative acceptable term for body type of person discussed in this thread).

I was nuts over her.
posted by hal9k at 8:00 PM on January 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

Sympathising with these Germans maybe.
posted by tellurian at 8:17 PM on January 21, 2008

Tkchrist is blowing little things all out of proportion.
posted by Balisong at 8:32 PM on January 21, 2008

There is a fantastic actor named Peter Dinklage whom I was first introduced to in the movie Safe Men. He plays an assassin who is introduced stalking down a hallway, holding a sledge hammer, saying "Who's the man?" over and over, under his breath.

I've wanted to make a movie for years, just so I have an excuse to put him into it.
posted by quin at 8:43 PM on January 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

NO. I could have not dangled it. But it's important that you know... you must know how fucking awesome that story is and if you come up with like wise awesome posts you too will get rewarded.

Other wise I will only tell the story at a meet up in person. When you hear it, when Astro reads it as I just sent it too him, you will understand why.
posted by tkchrist at 8:46 PM on January 21, 2008

Tkchrist is blowing little things all out of proportion.

WHOA! WAIT A MINUTE! Do you KNOW this story?

You must shut your pie hole immediately. Don't waste that story!
posted by tkchrist at 8:47 PM on January 21, 2008

It is the best story ever.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:49 PM on January 21, 2008

When I was in fifth grade, we did a school production of the Wizard of Oz. Margaret Pellegrini, one of the original (and last living) Munchkins, lived nearby and she was our guest of honor at the premiere. Somewhere there's a snapshot of me all tarted up as the Scarecrow, bending down to fit into the shot with her.

I point her out to my kids every single one of the million times we watch the DVD, and they are awed and impressed every single millionth time.
posted by padraigin at 8:50 PM on January 21, 2008

I took the time to link to Billy Barty yet I don't get to hear a story about him? Not cool.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:51 PM on January 21, 2008

Oh, and how can we not include Miguelito Loveless?
posted by miss lynnster at 8:54 PM on January 21, 2008

I took the time to link to Billy Barty yet I don't get to hear a story about him? Not cool.

One day Miss lynnster. One day. Good things come to those who wait.

(and also the story is somewhat filthy. Though I'm sure you can handle it. But telling it in mixed company may be crass)
posted by tkchrist at 8:58 PM on January 21, 2008

I already forwarded it to her. Because, come on, she's awesome.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:59 PM on January 21, 2008

But I will forward it to NOBODY ELSE!

People at Friday's Minneapolis meet up might hear a pretty wild story, though.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:00 PM on January 21, 2008

herve villechaize was a full-sized firearms aficionado trapped in a midget's body.
posted by bruce at 9:06 PM on January 21, 2008

Weeee resemble but are legally distinct from the Lollipop Guild, the Lollip--

(eaten by Nibbler)
posted by evilcolonel at 9:44 PM on January 21, 2008

tellurian: i love you. JAH JAH, FISHTE FISHTE!
posted by CitizenD at 10:50 PM on January 21, 2008

tkchrist and AZ flagged for being no fair so I'm going to go home and cry. waaaaaaaaah.
posted by not_on_display at 4:30 AM on January 22, 2008

OK, now I really might have to make the MN meetup, just for the story if nothing else. No matter how dorky my wife says it will make me.
posted by caution live frogs at 5:39 AM on January 22, 2008

I used to work with a short person who had a certain contract with a certain advertising company in Australia (nearly wrote Oz) to play a character that promoted a certain brand of chips aka crisps, both on screen and in state wide appearances. His name shall go unmentioned. Australians older than 20 will probably guess which diminutive non-human character this would be. He had the costume and everything.

I first met him shooting a tv ad for the chips, then later worked on a theatre show in which he was a cast member. He was 4 foot something. This guy got more normal height pussy than anyone I have ever met. I am not making this up, he was a fucking Casanova. One time I drove into the parking lot and his car is there, right, it has a disabled sticker, and the fucking thing is rocking. I can see heads bobbing. I realise that he is fucking someone. A few minutes later, as I am rolling a blunt between bouts of hysterical laughter, a stunning blonde chick gets out, smoothing her dress, followed by our hero. The woman says her good byes, and leaves, then he notices me and joins me in the motor for a puff. "She wasn't a prostitute," he assures me, "she's been after me for months. Some women have a thing for guys my height." I later heard that this was entirely true, and the other cast members said he regularly had tall girlfriends who were pretty hot. I mean, I'm not implying that little people are unattractive, it's just that you don't expect that, you know?

No word of a fucking lie. He also drank and drugged with the best of them.

Would I bang a midget? Yeah, why not, if she was hot. But seeing as though most normal chicks have a time getting used to the girth of the Mabuse Monster, I can only imagine that I'd have to wrap them in gaffer tape to stop them from splitting. Boom-tish.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 5:54 AM on January 22, 2008

Fun fact: one of the Munchkins was also Hans in the movie "Freaks".
posted by champthom at 8:14 AM on January 22, 2008

tkchrist - I am sooo jealous right now. If you EVER make a NY meetup, I will so be there just to hear the story.

I was going to contribute to this thread, and say that in college, I went to a bad movie festival, and one of the movies was "Terror of Tiny Town". But I will choose to sulk in the corner instead.





*sulks*
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 8:34 AM on January 22, 2008

Even Dwarves Started Small. That guy laughing at the end is so.............bizarro!
posted by doctorschlock at 9:29 AM on January 22, 2008

Mini Kiss and Tiny Kiss (Wikipedia, Daily Show).
posted by christopherious at 11:54 AM on January 22, 2008