Now I labia down to sleep

January 24, 2008 7:35 AM

Couch for sale.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll (77 comments total)

Perfect for the Couch Cock in your household.
posted by CynicalKnight at 7:40 AM on January 24, 2008

It actually looks pretty comfy, albeit probably difficult to get out of.
posted by Dr-Baa at 7:42 AM on January 24, 2008

It actually looks pretty comfy, albeit probably difficult to get out of.

There's a metaphor in there somewhere.
posted by Mike D at 7:43 AM on January 24, 2008 [12 favorites]

I'm strangely drawn to it.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:43 AM on January 24, 2008

In two weeks, it'll be sitting on the curb with "LEVITRA" spray-painted on it.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:44 AM on January 24, 2008 [16 favorites]

the couch has some scuffmarks and stains from [ahem, coughs] being moved


posted by Peter H at 7:44 AM on January 24, 2008

It's really more of a snoutch.
posted by brain_drain at 7:47 AM on January 24, 2008 [5 favorites]

Is this the Planned Parenthood thread?
posted by Peter H at 7:48 AM on January 24, 2008

wow, that will go really well with my penis hookah table and chairs.
posted by TechnoLustLuddite at 7:49 AM on January 24, 2008 [2 favorites]

$600? Fuck that.
posted by psmealey at 7:50 AM on January 24, 2008 [4 favorites]

It looks like a giant clam disgorging a strange, red pearl.
posted by Avenger at 7:54 AM on January 24, 2008

Be careful buying used sofas. It is probably dusty and infected with mites.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:57 AM on January 24, 2008

Also, we need more "clitpillow" tags.

Chester A. Clitpillow, at your service.
posted by Avenger at 7:58 AM on January 24, 2008 [4 favorites]

What a missed opportunity for those guys that were humping a plain ottoman a few months ago...
posted by Iosephus at 7:59 AM on January 24, 2008 [6 favorites]

On a near non-sequitir: I'm still waiting for Volvo to put out a car named Vagino.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:00 AM on January 24, 2008

I thought this was purchased by some gallery but I'm too lazy to Google it.
posted by desjardins at 8:02 AM on January 24, 2008

What's a couch without some nice throw pillows?
posted by sambosambo at 8:09 AM on January 24, 2008 [2 favorites]

I'd hit it.
posted by Flem Snopes at 8:09 AM on January 24, 2008 [2 favorites]

If you ever drop your keys into this couch, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.
posted by hermitosis at 8:11 AM on January 24, 2008 [7 favorites]

"You see, dear, when a couch and a table love each other very much ..."
posted by zippy at 8:11 AM on January 24, 2008 [3 favorites]

Man, the best part about that is the sounds when you go looking for change.
posted by mephron at 8:12 AM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'd prefer if it was a sectional with the other part being a womb.
posted by srboisvert at 8:15 AM on January 24, 2008

I bet that got snatched up pretty fast.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:18 AM on January 24, 2008 [6 favorites]

Couch Cooch for sale.
posted by knave at 8:24 AM on January 24, 2008 [2 favorites]

At least you'll always know where to look first for your douchebag roommate.
posted by kittyprecious at 8:25 AM on January 24, 2008 [4 favorites]

Clever female genitalia and/or sexual intercourse pun.
posted by Mikey-San at 8:35 AM on January 24, 2008

It looks like a giant clam disgorging a strange, red pearl.

or perhaps a little bald man in a boat?
posted by geos at 8:45 AM on January 24, 2008

I'm strangely drawn to it.

That's funny. I can't seem to get over this strange but nagging fear of it.
posted by gauchodaspampas at 8:46 AM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

It needs a rosebud ottoman as a companion piece.
posted by mosk at 8:54 AM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

I wonder if it tastes like a 9 volt battery?
posted by isopraxis at 8:56 AM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm still waiting for Volvo to put out a car named Vagino

Well, in the meantime you can pick up a nice set of Vulva bookcases at Ikea.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 8:56 AM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

Seems too short to be a couch. Really it is more of a love seat.
posted by geekyguy at 8:57 AM on January 24, 2008 [3 favorites]

Apparently it doesn't matter that the image is blocked at work. I can see it perfectly well now.
posted by kozad at 8:58 AM on January 24, 2008

I'm waiting for the sale of this item, it's got more bite.
posted by jkaczor at 9:01 AM on January 24, 2008

I feel badly that I can't stop staring at this couch.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:02 AM on January 24, 2008 [5 favorites]

I'd like to get some sofa cushions and build a fort in it. No Girlz ALLOWED!
posted by vito90 at 9:20 AM on January 24, 2008

I bet that'll get gobbled up fast.
posted by unSane at 9:22 AM on January 24, 2008

Pepsi Pink?

I've been looking for a sexual sofa.
posted by sfts2 at 9:33 AM on January 24, 2008

stains around the bottom

People need to give up their unrealistic expectations if they want to make things work.
posted by StickyCarpet at 9:35 AM on January 24, 2008

I'd sit it.
posted by ORthey at 9:45 AM on January 24, 2008 [14 favorites]

the couch has some scuffmarks and stains around the bottom from being moved

Yeah, that will happen.

And you want me to drive 3 hours north of San Francisco and pay $600 to get this thing? I mean, the Moonlight Bunny Ranch is only 256 miles and their rates are far better.
posted by mr_book at 9:46 AM on January 24, 2008

Mad Mardigan!!
posted by aftermarketradio at 9:50 AM on January 24, 2008

Couch for sale,
Appetizing young couch for sale.
Couch that's fresh and still unspoiled,
Couch that's only slightly soiled,
Couch for sale.
Who will buy?
Who would like to sample my supply?
Who's prepared to pay the price,
For a nap to paradise?
Couch...for sale

Let the upholsterers pipe of couches
in their childish way,
I know every type of couch
Better far than they.
If you want the thrill of couch,
I've been through the mill of couch;
Old couch, new couch
Every couch but true couch
Couch - for sale.

Appetizing young couch for sale.
If you want to buy my wares.
Follow me and climb the stairs
Couch for saaale.
posted by Smedleyman at 9:52 AM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

Someone bring this to Portland's Couch Street! It fits both the spelling AND pronunciation!
posted by Artnchicken at 9:59 AM on January 24, 2008

One of the many reasons that I should not be allowed near children, is that my first thought was that I could traumatize little ones by making them sit in it and explaining that they were no longer wanted and I was returning them.
posted by quin at 10:04 AM on January 24, 2008 [13 favorites]

Sofa soooo good.
posted by Floydd at 10:12 AM on January 24, 2008

Someone should tell this guy.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:15 AM on January 24, 2008

Also, we need more "clitpillow" tags.
Chester A. Clitpillow, at your service.

Cervix?
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 10:29 AM on January 24, 2008

Whoever buys it should offer to add it to the collection at the Defenestration Building in San Francisco.
posted by rtha at 10:51 AM on January 24, 2008

Sofa King Risqué
posted by Fezboy! at 10:53 AM on January 24, 2008 [2 favorites]

Ikea makes a very affordable KAMELTO couch cover...
posted by cockeyed at 11:21 AM on January 24, 2008

No no, I said round me up a big posse.
posted by Mister_A at 11:25 AM on January 24, 2008

You guys really don't want to know about the matching ottoman.
posted by PlusDistance at 11:27 AM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

There once was a couch like a 'gina
In Couch-World, there ain't nothing fina
Just drive up the 1
For some couch-gina fun
And thank God that we don't live in China*


*Vagina couches are illegal in China.
posted by ORthey at 11:38 AM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

How do you avoid looking at that couch?
posted by Doohickie at 12:45 PM on January 24, 2008

stains around the bottom

I think somebody's been doing it wrong. Unless that's what they're into, that is.
posted by scalefree at 1:04 PM on January 24, 2008

King Kong's gonna be so pissed when he finds out someone nicked the end off his Fleshlight.
posted by pinkbuttonanus at 1:31 PM on January 24, 2008

Oh, for an archival video of this guy debating art school with his parents.
posted by asuprenant at 1:45 PM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

I hate my mother's couch.
posted by Dizzy at 2:01 PM on January 24, 2008

Behold! The perfect movie to watch while sitting in your new vagina couch.
posted by psmealey at 2:11 PM on January 24, 2008

Huh. I think I have now officially seen everything there is to see on the interwebs.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 2:32 PM on January 24, 2008

Is this a Bay Area thing? The only place I could buy needle nose pliers on a Sunday is a bead store around Natoma and 6th. The stools where the girls sit are upholstered like a vulva, and the sign on the door depics a cat liking hers.

And, this couch, it vibrates?
posted by Dr. Curare at 2:35 PM on January 24, 2008

The comments in this thread are as good as the Lady Yvette thread
posted by TorontoSandy at 2:38 PM on January 24, 2008

If you ever drop your keys into this couch, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.

But if we can find them, we can drive out of here.
posted by slogger at 2:45 PM on January 24, 2008

*Vagina couches are illegal in China.

ORthey?
posted by hermitosis at 3:20 PM on January 24, 2008

The only couch that's off limits one week out of every month.
posted by Liquidwolf at 3:54 PM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

It actually looks pretty comfy, albeit probably difficult to get out of.

Based on my past experience, I would have difficulty get in to it.
posted by vac2003 at 4:40 PM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

ORthey?
ORthey
posted by poppo at 5:46 PM on January 24, 2008

I tried to sit in one of those one time. I only lasted 30 seconds before I had to pull myself out.
posted by jefbla at 6:00 PM on January 24, 2008

I laughed aloud after seeing the photo and realizing there were 69 comments.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 6:18 PM on January 24, 2008

scuffmarks and stains around the bottom from being moved

Should have used lube.
posted by dasheekeejones at 6:46 PM on January 24, 2008

They should bring it to http://v10.vday.org/

The whole Louisiana Superdome is going to be turned into a vagina.
posted by caderoux at 8:11 PM on January 24, 2008

You'd have to be a real dick to sit in this thing.
posted by arcadia at 1:17 AM on January 25, 2008

It actually looks pretty comfortable
posted by dzinga2 at 6:20 AM on January 25, 2008

Where is the matching penis table?
posted by Fuzzy Dog at 1:02 PM on January 25, 2008

It's not a vagina, it's a vulva.
posted by neuron at 2:23 PM on January 25, 2008

It actually looks pretty comfortable

What do you mean "actually"? I would say that it inherently looks pretty comfortable.
posted by psmealey at 7:56 PM on January 25, 2008