How David Banner got angry. (The Incredible Hulk T.V. Show)
January 24, 2008 6:34 PM   Subscribe

Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm Angry. Yup, every single way the David Banner lost his mind.
posted by filmgeek (62 comments total) 27 users marked this as a favorite
 
Google Cache in case we kill it.
posted by filmgeek at 6:36 PM on January 24, 2008 [2 favorites]


115. Trying to help his friend for the episode, the midget wrestler known as "Half
Nelson", by climbing into the ring for him, only to be clobbered by a large, beefy
wrestler who practices numerous combination moves on David, in spite of David
(and Jack McGee)'s numerous cries of "Stop! You don't know what you're doing!
You're making me ANGRY!"


Haha!
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:40 PM on January 24, 2008


Television just isn't made as well these days.
posted by munchingzombie at 6:44 PM on January 24, 2008


They missed the one where the risotto burned and the napkins clashed with the tablecloth.

Oh, that just made him so mad.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 6:45 PM on January 24, 2008 [3 favorites]


Man, Banner had some pretty consistent bad luck, didn't he?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 6:47 PM on January 24, 2008


See this? This right here? This is why humanity needs the Internet.

What? Yes, I'm dead serious.
posted by ZachsMind at 6:55 PM on January 24, 2008 [3 favorites]


108. Having several clay pots broken over his head in the middle of the now-
burning room (why is the room always burning?), and then knocking an entire
case of same clay pots onto same head, and then, while lying very still and
struggling not to get angry, having his pants catch fire


This list is awesome!
posted by Foaf at 6:58 PM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


So this Banner guy. He did get an attorney, right?
posted by LiveLurker at 7:01 PM on January 24, 2008




You thought the quicksand was bad? Just imagine what he'd do to you if you griefed his Second Life avatar.
posted by ninjew at 7:03 PM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


Now they'd just send him to anger management classes.
posted by tommasz at 7:13 PM on January 24, 2008


Anger management classes are #118.
posted by regicide is good for you at 7:33 PM on January 24, 2008


sure, when you put it like this it's trite and formulaic. But when you're five years old and have a limited grasp of the english language, it was pretty damn awesome every damn time.
posted by rks404 at 7:42 PM on January 24, 2008


118. Hit by banhammer after self-linking on mefi.
posted by buzzman at 7:42 PM on January 24, 2008


#20: "I don't have twenty five cents!"

That's just awesome.
posted by octothorpe at 7:47 PM on January 24, 2008


I'm absolutely not a comic-book guy - I have only the vaguest familiarity with The Hulk. And I've never even seen the TV show.

But I still think that this is why the internet was invented.
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 7:51 PM on January 24, 2008


73. Being chained to a truck while his friend for the episode has been taken
inside the trailer by the natives to be punished under the rites of La Culta de
Cabeza Chocolata

The Chocolate Head Cult?!

Great post, filmgeek!
posted by maryh at 7:52 PM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


Now can someone make this list into the appropriate video clips?
posted by mrnutty at 7:53 PM on January 24, 2008


Was anal bleaching on the list? 'Cuz I think that would make Hulk angry.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:05 PM on January 24, 2008 [2 favorites]


As my childhood wore on, I became more and more puzzled why David Banner never "Hulked Out" between his knees and his waist.
posted by Tube at 8:10 PM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


Yeah, this is the first time I've ever felt this really should be a string of YouTube links.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:15 PM on January 24, 2008


But I still think that this is why the internet was invented.

The Hulk first appeared in comics in May 1962. The very beginnings of ARPANET were in August 1962. You and Zachsmind may be on to something...
posted by Gary at 8:35 PM on January 24, 2008 [2 favorites]


24. Being tied up and fed soup by an elderly Japanese woman who doesn't understand words like "You've GOT to cut me loose!"

Huh. Guess he doesn't like soup.
posted by I Said, I've Got A Big Stick at 8:40 PM on January 24, 2008


I would often say "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." Just to kid with with my friends. They must not have watched The Hulk, because they always gave me a weird look. Notice I said "used to."

Oh, and I loved the David Banner.
posted by The Deej at 8:48 PM on January 24, 2008


All of these could have been avoided if he had just flagged it and moved on. But NOOOOOOO.....
posted by googly at 9:00 PM on January 24, 2008


Metafilter: 65) Buried in cement by the mob
posted by not_on_display at 9:11 PM on January 24, 2008


That's pretty much the same list of things that would make me angry.
posted by eye of newt at 9:17 PM on January 24, 2008 [2 favorites]


Great find. This reminds me of Conan's playing "Walker: Texas Ranger" clips out of context. It's exposes the inherit ridiculousness of the shows.
posted by zardoz at 9:26 PM on January 24, 2008


How would he have reacted to the writer's strike, which could possibly have forced him to ad lib, or participate in a Hulk-oriented reality show?
posted by raysmj at 9:27 PM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]




The best thing about this is that the laundry-list of just ridiculous situations in which The Beast is unleashed really cements the character of Hulk into something of a Walter Mitty-esque wish-fulfillment of the repressed ego. Sort of a comment on the impotent rage lying within modern, banal, absurd existence. Simultaneously hilarious and also weirdly poignant and universal.

Or at least, it is to me, minutes before I turn in for the night and pretty wrecked from the day.
posted by junebug at 9:50 PM on January 24, 2008 [2 favorites]


Oh man, i love Walker Percy, and now I love you, raysmj.
posted by 235w103 at 9:50 PM on January 24, 2008


...er, make that repressed id.

But I just love this list, which will transform the future movie sequel for me, as I will now accept no less dramatic a reason for Norton/Banner losing control than problems with a flat tire, having a row of computers fall on him, or possibly receiving a speeding ticket.

The list also makes Banner into something of a horrifyingly unlucky Wile E. Coyote stand-in, doomed to eternally repeat every manner of indignity, to completely lose himself to violence, but then repeat the samsara-like cycle ever again, never to be set free. Rather Buddhist, or Vedantic Hindu. So good.
posted by junebug at 10:00 PM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


I would often say "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." Just to kid with with my friends. They must not have watched The Hulk, because they always gave me a weird look. Notice I said "used to."

But you didn't say "used to," except right there at the end. You're making me angry.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:15 PM on January 24, 2008


Personally, my favorite part of this list is that it provides me with my next year's worth of away messages.
"Being mauled by a bear"
"Placed in a small room with a ravenous black panther"
"Beaten up and locked in a car trunk"
posted by pokeydonut at 10:20 PM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


Don't make me Ang Lee.
posted by RokkitNite at 10:30 PM on January 24, 2008 [6 favorites]


I really meant I was sorry
For ever causing you pain
You showed your appreciation
By walking out anyway

And that's a cold shot, baby
Yeah that's a drag
That's a cold shot, babe ...


Grwaaaaarggghh!
posted by bwg at 12:32 AM on January 25, 2008


Don't make me Ang Lee.

Good lord, I can't believe I've never heard or thought of that (pretty poor and racial-stereotypy, but still) joke before.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:08 AM on January 25, 2008


imagine if andy rooney had been caught by the blast of the gamma bomb instead of bruce banner.
posted by snofoam at 2:44 AM on January 25, 2008


Hey, stavros, did you watch the bit? It's a funny one, I thought. Never heard of the comic, but he's pretty good. Thanks, RokkitNite, for pulling it out of the 'Tube. Do you know who that guy is, or was this the product of a search, or what? Seems too good to be true for this thread, somehow. "You wouldn't like me when I'm Ang Lee." Man!
posted by cgc373 at 2:56 AM on January 25, 2008


bwg, have you noticed that you never saw SRV and the Hulk together? Coincidence, or what?

Also, was there a real Robert Bruce Banner, and is that why the TV show renamed the character David?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:41 AM on January 25, 2008


Oh, that second question is addressed here. (If they're right, it was a stupid reason.)
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:47 AM on January 25, 2008


Hey cgc373, he's Stewart Lee. I think he's fantastic. I've seen him do that bit a couple of times live and it always kills me.
posted by RokkitNite at 4:30 AM on January 25, 2008


31. Being caught taking photos of toughs committing monkey business in the
restaurant, and then being beaten up and thrown under a table


That pretty much described my last bartending gig. Needless to say I hulked out and terrorized them for 2 days before they cut me loose.
posted by Student of Man at 4:36 AM on January 25, 2008


That phone booth one was on TV here the other day and I started watching it. It was about this woman (who, incidentally, was Callahan/fembot on Bionic Man/Woman) trying to get her truck back from these dudes who stole it. But the truck was all beat up and dirty and the bad guy had a moustache and was in a little red Plymouth and I was like, this is really familiar, this is Duel. Sure enough, the plot (?) advanced and the bad guys were in the truck chasing her and David Banner in the Plymouth and exact scenes and shots were lifted from Duel. I googled it and it turns out that since the show was made by Universal they just used a whole bunch of shots from Duel to make about 50% of the episode. Speilberg has had a clause in all his deals ever since, saying they can't be used for stock footage on anything.
posted by chococat at 6:24 AM on January 25, 2008 [2 favorites]


Gah. I remember that the rumor about why they changed Banner's name was debunked someplace recently, but hell if I can remember what the official story is (or where I saw that article). But I'm pretty sure that's just Hollywood urban legend.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:58 AM on January 25, 2008


My favorite part was always the sad walking away song at the end.

He's so lonely. He'll always be lonely. It's so unfair, so tragic... Will he ever find love and acceptance? Will he ever find a place to call "home"?

Tune in next week and find out!!
posted by LordSludge at 7:04 AM on January 25, 2008


Truly the Best of the Web. Thanks filmgeek!!!
posted by Dantien at 9:06 AM on January 25, 2008


More hulk clips here (if I had only found this too when I posted!)
posted by filmgeek at 9:58 AM on January 25, 2008


This is the most hilarious thing I've read in months. Thanks!
posted by omegar at 10:48 AM on January 25, 2008


Regarding the name change, comment #3 here says the TV show's creator thought the alliteration was corny.
posted by hilker at 12:14 PM on January 25, 2008


Wow, you couldn't make this stuff up.
posted by Vindaloo at 1:17 PM on January 25, 2008


38. Placed in a small room with a ravenous black panther

I hate it when that happens.

Great post.
posted by HerOdyssey at 1:25 PM on January 25, 2008


95. Falling out of a plane without a parachute, then being given a parachute (which causes the person who pushed him to be told "That guy has nine lives", to which the mean person responds by pulling out a rifle and saying "Yeah, but I got ten rounds"), and then having the straps to his parachute shot off when he is still 30 feet above an empty house so that he falls through the roof and hurts himself
posted by kirkaracha at 4:09 PM on January 25, 2008


668. Forced to vote on Diebold machines for either Hillary Clinton or Mitt Romney then hit in the mouth with a cinderblock.
posted by Huplescat at 4:11 PM on January 25, 2008


... have you noticed that you never saw SRV and the Hulk together?

It's hard to play those hot licks with fingers the size of an average man's arms.
posted by bwg at 6:11 PM on January 25, 2008


Vindaloo: "Wow, you couldn't make this stuff up."

Uhm... actually... You CAN. People DID. They were called WRITERS.

Although some can look at the Hulk tv series as some of the worst television ever in the history of anything, you gotta admit that was brilliant how they managed week after week after week to come up with that many new and different ways to get David to Hulk out like that, usually before the first and last commercial breaks in a given hour.

From the perspective of an aspiring writer, The Incredible Hulk is like ballet or ice skating. That's just formulaic you may say, but I say they made TV writing look a lot easier than it is.
posted by ZachsMind at 9:56 PM on January 25, 2008


Yeah, The incredible Hulk is why humanity needs TV.
posted by ericost at 10:57 PM on January 25, 2008


This list is why the tv writers guild will lose this strike.
posted by damn dirty ape at 1:09 PM on January 26, 2008


Cool, thanks, RokkitNite. I'll look at the linked clips of Lee's stuff.
posted by cgc373 at 7:45 PM on January 26, 2008


Spent a couple of hours with Stewart Lee. His takedown of Joe Pasquale was a wonder. And his presumably early appearance in Montreal has a solid bit about the British reaction to the death of Princess Diana, very funny stuff. Off-topic, but funny.
posted by cgc373 at 3:36 AM on January 27, 2008


Bob: "BUT I HAVE TO BE THERE BY FOUR!!!"

Charlotte: "Oh. I just gave you a lethal injection. Sorry, Bob."
posted by mrgrimm at 4:27 PM on February 1, 2008


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