My Fair Ladys are both in control and easily led

January 25, 2008 8:29 AM

Oscarology is a system of astrology I invented -- excuse me, that was revealed to me in a powerful mystical experience -- based on what movie won the Best Picture Oscar for the year you were born. I have been communing with the Spirit of the Oscars and transcribing the visions it has vouchsafed to me.
posted by arcticwoman (64 comments total)

She skipped 1979, which happened to be the year of Apocalypse Now...frankly I'd rather not know what that says about my personality.
posted by milarepa at 8:35 AM on January 25, 2008 [2 favorites]

Alright! I get Patton!
posted by malaprohibita at 8:35 AM on January 25, 2008

Hurm. But what about years where the best picture was clearly robbed? 1980's Ordinary People really oughtta all be Raging Bulls, which would produce quite a different result.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:36 AM on January 25, 2008

It shames me to know that I'm a sequel (Godfather II). I mean, damn, what does that say about me.....
posted by sotonohito at 8:38 AM on January 25, 2008

Kittens, I agree. I'm an Annie Hall. BUT I OUGHTA BE A STAR WARS!
posted by moxiedoll at 8:42 AM on January 25, 2008

Hmm, I was getting ready to call bullshit but... (from mine):

They have high ideals, but are not always scrupulous in carrying them out, with a tendency to think that the end justifies the means.

Which, you know, kinda describes me.
posted by quin at 8:51 AM on January 25, 2008

1966: A Man For All Seasons. Creepily accurate. Except this part: They are very attached to tradition should really read hates change, a lot.

If your year is missing, leave a comment in Greta's blog, and I'm sure she'll commune with the spirits to divine your true nature.
posted by rtha at 9:02 AM on January 25, 2008

It shames me to know that I'm a sequel (Godfather II). I mean, damn, what does that say about me.....

You could take solace in the fact that The Godfather II was one of those rare sequels that was better than the original.
posted by turaho at 9:05 AM on January 25, 2008

what the hell...it starts in 1953....!!! there were movies before 1953!!... and some of us were actually BORN BEFORE 1953....!!!!

I'm claiming The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, 1948.

damn kids...
posted by HuronBob at 9:06 AM on January 25, 2008

She skipped 1973 too, which would be The Sting. I wouldn't mind being a The Sting.

Also, oscarology actually has a better theoretical foundation than astrology. At least movies reflect a culture that you were born into.
posted by DU at 9:06 AM on January 25, 2008

D'oh, I get it now, it's all in the stars!
posted by nickyskye at 9:09 AM on January 25, 2008 [3 favorites]

I am most definitely not a "Chariots of Fire." The only logical conclusions to be drawn from this incongruity are that A) I was not born in 1981, and/or B) Chariots of Fire didn't deserve an Oscar.

I've never been to a screening of Chariots of Fire, but I was present at my own birth; based on that fact alone, I'm leaning more towards B.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:09 AM on January 25, 2008

Another skipped year: 1975. Which makes me a One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

Explains a lot, really.
posted by darksasami at 9:11 AM on January 25, 2008

You could tweak the results to be more individual by taking into account the film that ruled the box office when you were born.

That makes my sign Back to the Future waning in Out of Africa. In addition to a typical OoA's sensitivity and openness, I have a fondness for paradox, anachronistic clothing, and Huey Lewis. I often find myself in awkward situations involving relatives.
posted by Iridic at 9:14 AM on January 25, 2008 [4 favorites]

1977 could not have been more wrong, at least for me.
posted by absalom at 9:20 AM on January 25, 2008

Yay! I'm "The Apartment", or as I like to call it, my swinging bachelor pad, complete with martinis, Esquivel, and shag carpet.
posted by willmize at 9:22 AM on January 25, 2008

Yes, but box office in which town? What's your standard to match GMT in Astrology? I was born in a hick town that had movies come later, rather than sooner.

Actually, what about which films opened the week you were born as an "ascendant"? Movies stayed in the theatres for ages back in the day, much longer than they do today.

I don't have the time myself, but someone can research this on IMDB or maybe email the boxofficeguru guy for opening weekends.

\French Connection :D
posted by Grrlscout at 9:22 AM on January 25, 2008

Those skipped years are really irritating if you happen to be from one... grrr...
posted by Artw at 9:23 AM on January 25, 2008

I am not Chariots of Fire, but I may be the Chariots of Fire soundtrack.

Screw you, I like Vangelis.
posted by thecaddy at 9:23 AM on January 25, 2008

Just ask her to do the other years - she just did the ones she was asked for on her blog.
posted by gingerbeer at 9:25 AM on January 25, 2008

Yes, but box office in which town? What's your standard to match GMT in Astrology?

I'm sensing the opportunity for a new type of astrology specialist. This is getting complicated enough to require the drafting of charts.
posted by arcticwoman at 9:25 AM on January 25, 2008

Actually, maybe Annie Hall is correct. I mean, I am annoyed by people dumber than me, and I can't stand any of you motherfuckers. QED.
posted by absalom at 9:27 AM on January 25, 2008

Gandhi FTW! :)
posted by ossobo at 9:28 AM on January 25, 2008

I am a Godfather Part II. I love this for so many reasons.
posted by grubi at 9:34 AM on January 25, 2008

Midnight Cowboy, people. Rated X for "X-tremely awesome!" (Since re-rated R, for "Rad.")
posted by Skot at 9:38 AM on January 25, 2008

ADRIAAAAN!
posted by romakimmy at 9:50 AM on January 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

1968, "Oliver!"

What the fuck? I fucking hate fucking musicals.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:53 AM on January 25, 2008

I like Iridic's idea, because it makes me Jaws passing through the House of Cuckoo's Nest.

Remember how that ended? The indian chief throws a scuba tank into the window and blows up the asylum. Smile, Nurse Ratchet.
posted by condour75 at 9:54 AM on January 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

You could tweak the results to be more individual by taking into account the film that ruled the box office when you were born.

1968, Funny Girl

What the fuck? I fucking hate fucking Barbra Streisand.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:55 AM on January 25, 2008

As opposed to the book, where Jack Nicholson just stops moving and dies of anoxia.
posted by condour75 at 9:55 AM on January 25, 2008

I like Iridic's idea, because it makes me Jaws passing through the House of Cuckoo's Nest.

I'm not sure, but I seem to be The Poseidon Adventure passing through the house of The Sting. FYI, I may be the wrong guy to cross.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:59 AM on January 25, 2008

I couldn't find box office numbers for the week I was born, so I can't determine what house was rising in the year of Annie Hall. (Star Wars, probably.) Instead, I went looking for what movies were released on my birthday and I found this.
posted by suckerpunch at 10:11 AM on January 25, 2008

Damn, arcticwoman, I'm an All about Eve! Gimme a read, will ya?
posted by Mental Wimp at 10:25 AM on January 25, 2008

No, wait! There was no best picture released the year I was born!!! AAE was released in 1951 and the 1949 winner was released in 1949. Tell me, O Great Sage, what does this mean for poor, poor pitiful moi?
posted by Mental Wimp at 10:30 AM on January 25, 2008

I *should* have been a Rebel Without A Cause, but I ended up a goddamned Marty!

Fuck the Academy. What do they know?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:34 AM on January 25, 2008

I'm glad to know that not only do I have the distinction of being a bicentennial baby I was also lucky enough to be born in the year of the Rocky.
posted by Hugonaut at 10:39 AM on January 25, 2008

Tell me, O Great Sage, what does this mean for poor, poor pitiful moi?

All The Kings Men won in 1950, so you're less Bette Davis, more Huey 'Kingfish' Long.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:41 AM on January 25, 2008

'88: Rain Man. I am pleased.
posted by lizzicide at 10:44 AM on January 25, 2008

Rain Man. I am pleased.

And you're an excellent driver.
posted by LionIndex at 10:48 AM on January 25, 2008

Oops, misread the IMDB. It says the AAE was actually released 13 October 1950 (New York City, New York) (premiere). So, not ATKM, but AAE. Again, please tell me about myself, Wondrous Prognosticator.
posted by Mental Wimp at 10:49 AM on January 25, 2008

Actually, what about which films opened the week you were born as an "ascendant"?

"Ah, little lad, you're staring at my fingers. Would you like me to tell you the little story of right-hand/left-hand? The story of good and evil? H-A-T-E! It was with this left hand that old brother Cain struck the blow that laid his brother low. L-O-V-E! You see these fingers, dear hearts? These fingers has veins that run straight to the soul of man. The right hand, friends, the hand of love. Now watch, and I'll show you the story of life. Those fingers, dear hearts, is always a-warring and a-tugging, one agin t'other. Now watch 'em! Old brother left hand, left hand he's a fighting, and it looks like love's a goner. But wait a minute! Hot dog, love's a winning! Yessirree! It's love that's won, and old left hand hate is down for the count!"
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:50 AM on January 25, 2008 [2 favorites]

I like Iridic's idea, because it makes me Jaws passing through the House of Cuckoo's Nest.

Christ. I've got Cuckoo too, but one month earlier and I get a Jaws ascendant. One month later I get Dog Day Afternoon. But what comes out my month? Fuckin' Apple Dumpling Gang.
posted by LionIndex at 10:54 AM on January 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

1945: The Lost Weekend. Huh. Who knew? Hey, it's Friday already! Where does the time go?
posted by CCBC at 11:03 AM on January 25, 2008

Another 1973. I don't see myself as a The Sting, I'm more of a The Exorcist.
posted by Lucinda at 11:10 AM on January 25, 2008

Amadeus. Fantastic, albeit historically inaccurate.
posted by ZaneJ. at 11:27 AM on January 25, 2008

1969: Midnight Cowboy. [...] Midnight Cowboy is the only X-rated movie to win a Best Picture Oscar.

Somehow everything in my life suddenly makes sense.
posted by effwerd at 12:12 PM on January 25, 2008

Me too effwerd. Except the part about it making sense.
posted by Mister_A at 12:14 PM on January 25, 2008

1961: West Side Story

Hmmm. A really young Natalie Wood, and some great music. Okay, I like pretty women and Leonard Bernstein's works. Fits, I guess.
posted by pax digita at 12:16 PM on January 25, 2008

You can find release dates for your year by using the following URL, replacing xxxx with the year you want:

http://us.imdb.com/Sections/Years/xxxx/by-release-date
posted by maudlin at 12:41 PM on January 25, 2008

1972: The Godfather

The Godfathers care a great deal about family and tradition, a concern which often reveals itself in unconventional ways.

Big FAIL. I guess that proves what I've known forever: The Godfather is overrated. (I prefer The Money Pit.)

I'd take Deliverance (You are an inbred hillperson who likes to make fat men squeal.) or particularly Cabaret (You are a sexually confused exhibitionist, tormented by Nazis.)
posted by mrgrimm at 1:45 PM on January 25, 2008

Ooh, I got a sweet one on my actual birthday: Tower of Evil. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!
posted by mrgrimm at 1:54 PM on January 25, 2008

Hmmph. I've never seen Kramer vs. Kramer. And honestly, it doesn't much intrigue me. Can I just jump back to '78 and assume that The Deer Hunter was on while I was conceived?

I mean, at least that way I could assume that the other sperm I competed against were all blanks.
posted by Ufez Jones at 2:17 PM on January 25, 2008

sonohito wrote: It shames me to know that I'm a sequel (Godfather II). I mean, damn, what does that say about me.....

Those were my thoughts exactly! But along the lines of turaho's comment, it's true that there's a difference between a sequel like Godfather II and, say, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. I'll comfort myself with that thought.

I wanted to try the Weekend Box Office matchup, but unfortunately their stats don't seem to start until 1980. Sigh.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 2:20 PM on January 25, 2008

I'm a West Side Story, too. The thing about how we're supposed "feel like outsiders in almost any group, but are very concerned with communicating, making connections, and forming bridges between people who seem unalterably opposed" rings true to me.

Now that that's out of the way, is she going to try to tell me whether I'm a Shark or a Jet?
posted by Robert Angelo at 2:29 PM on January 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm a From Here to Eternity.

I love the way Greta combines the generalities of a typical astrology sun sign description with a general movie review, plus the Oscar tribute aspect. Fun idea.

I *really* like the kinds of articles Greta writes or includes on her blog. She's got some amazing, life changing/life benefiting pages. This Oscarology one is fun fluff but there are some profound treasures on her site like:
Comforting Thoughts About Death That Have Nothing To Do With God

Atheists and Anger

The Meaning of Death: Part One of Many

She offers her thoughts without pretension or fancy language.

I sincerely consider Greta a great thinker, with great answers which are well thought out, beautifully presented, deeply intelligent and helpful.
posted by nickyskye at 2:38 PM on January 25, 2008 [2 favorites]

There may be some truth to this, but Greta is not delving deep enough. Or rather she's doing the equivalent of a daily horoscope reading by just looking at the Oscar winner for Best Picture for a given year. The Box Office bread winner helps to give another level of depth to this exploration in absurdity celestial discernment, utilizing man-made stars rather than those pesky little lights in the night sky. Admittedly, it is more plausible to presume that the films which were produced the year you were born could have an affect on you moreso than the stars in the sky. For one thing, those movies were closer to you than stars were.

Perhaps the Oscar winner that year would be more like how other people perceive you, and the actual Box Office winner might be more how you see yourself. Like in my case, I was born in 1968 so Funny Girl was the breadwinner, and Oliver! was the Oscar winner... Okay I can't do anything with that. It's rubbish. I don't see myself as a funny girl. Maybe THAT's how others perceive me? Ew. As for Oliver! I doubt other people see me as a badly done musical. Then again, how would I know?

Perhaps other films that came out that year would shed more light on my psyche or destiny...

Bonnie & Clyde, Ice Station Zebra, Valley of the Dolls, The Odd Couple, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, The Love Bug, Finnian's Rainbow, Barbarella, Danger: Diabolik, The Astro-Zombies... Oh this idea is still rubbish. I can't work with this. ...Wait! 2001: A Space Odyssey! NOW we're getting somewhere! Night of the Living Dead! Yes! Yellow Submarine! Cool! The Lion In Winter! Chilling! Bullitt! Thrilling! Guess Who's Coming To Dinner! That was funny! The Graduate! Planet of the Apes! Rosemary's Baby!

From this I can gather that my birth year was an ..above average year for cinema. That's about it. But hey, this has been more fun than stargazing: which always gives me vertigo.
posted by ZachsMind at 3:06 PM on January 25, 2008

Sure, Greta might think I'm just Ordinary People, but by Iridic's logic, I've got Co-Ed Fever!
posted by Navelgazer at 3:07 PM on January 25, 2008

Folks who like this might also like Popstrology (previously).
posted by box at 3:32 PM on January 25, 2008

Can I just jump back to '78 and assume that The Deer Hunter was on while I was conceived?

I just feel sorry for the poor bugger who was born the week Ordinary People was released. Talk about anticlimax!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:41 PM on January 25, 2008

Oops. Sorry Navelgazer. I didn't notice that was your year.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:42 PM on January 25, 2008

Holy shit, that reading was dead-on for me.

I'm not even being sarcastic. Damn.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:13 PM on January 25, 2008

Eeek, I was about to snark out when I realized that reading was better than any astrological reading of "me" I've encountered. OK, here's the snark: Leaves me to wonder why I didn't get along with anyone in my school growing up, though; they were all born the same year! I so confuseded
posted by not_on_display at 9:47 PM on January 25, 2008

I am "The Last Emperor" waning in "Three Men and a Baby."

The Last Emperors are strongly attached to home and tradition, and tend to have a difficult time adjusting to changing circumstances and a changing world. They often form unconventional relationships, which they find satisfying but which others disapprove of, putting strain on those relationships and making their lives difficult. They love luxury and beauty, and often find themselves at odds with a society that values dull conformity.

Except for perhaps the unconventional relationships bit, though I am a big fan of the crazy, this is pretty spot-on, and at least explains why, as a child, I dreamed of growing up to be a Chinese woman named Noreen with long, shining black hair*. As far as the "Three Men and a Baby" business, I suppose this means I will be forever doomed to clean up adorable messes left behind by my loved ones, often ensuing in comedy for others but much trial and tribulation for myself.

*I am not joking; this says more about the me of today than anything else ever will.
posted by nonmerci at 8:31 AM on January 26, 2008 [1 favorite]

I found the reading for my year to be pretty damn close to my personality. And then I checked the year before I was born and it was different, but still pretty damn close. The same thing happened with the year after I was born.

Given that personalities are multimodal, I'm not shocked that one or more of these readings would match, and that the odds are good that the one assigned to our birth years would be close enough to shock and impress us.

But this was still fun. And yes, she has a good blog, well worth reading.
posted by maudlin at 8:56 AM on January 26, 2008