What does the "F" in CFO stand for?
January 28, 2008 1:57 PM Subscribe
Pimping ain't easy. In a cluster of lawsuits gathered up by The Associated Press, the former chief financial officer of health insurance giant WellPoint Inc. is depicted as a corporate Casanova -- a world-class, love-'em-and-leave-'em sort of guy who romanced dozens of women around the country simultaneously, made them extravagant promises and then went back on his word with all the compassion of a health insurance company denying a claim.
Must be something he learned in B-school. Last year, HBO's chief executive was forced out after being charged with throttling his girlfriend. Before that, a Boeing CEO lost his job after admitting to an affair with a female underling.
Must be something he learned in B-school. Last year, HBO's chief executive was forced out after being charged with throttling his girlfriend. Before that, a Boeing CEO lost his job after admitting to an affair with a female underling.
Before that, a Boeing CEO lost his job after admitting to an affair with a female underling.
Awww, he was just taking her under his wing!
posted by Eekacat at 2:02 PM on January 28, 2008 [4 favorites]
Awww, he was just taking her under his wing!
posted by Eekacat at 2:02 PM on January 28, 2008 [4 favorites]
With all these old coots getting it on, makes you wonder Viagra might be a tad overprescribed.
posted by psmealey at 2:05 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by psmealey at 2:05 PM on January 28, 2008
Why is the emphasis on the corporations they represent rather than on the CEO's names?
posted by crapmatic at 2:05 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by crapmatic at 2:05 PM on January 28, 2008
Because big companies are eevvviiiiillllllll, remember?
posted by sideshow at 2:09 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by sideshow at 2:09 PM on January 28, 2008
That is exactly how I pictured Quonsar to look.
posted by waraw at 2:11 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by waraw at 2:11 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Pretty sure scumbags are found in all of societies stratas.
That said, the picture of Colby on CNN is pretty dorky looking. Maybe the women thought if he looks like Howdie Doody he can't be a bad guy
posted by Razzle Bathbone at 2:12 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
That said, the picture of Colby on CNN is pretty dorky looking. Maybe the women thought if he looks like Howdie Doody he can't be a bad guy
posted by Razzle Bathbone at 2:12 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Geez. If Colby were a character in "Thank You for Smoking," I'd have dismissed it as too over the top.
Also, I hope never to be described in an Australian newspaper as a "plump love rat."
posted by ibmcginty at 2:42 PM on January 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
Also, I hope never to be described in an Australian newspaper as a "plump love rat."
posted by ibmcginty at 2:42 PM on January 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
That said, the picture of Colby on CNN is pretty dorky looking. Maybe the women thought if he looks like Howdie Doody he can't be a bad guy
He's getting revenge for high school.
posted by IronLizard at 2:49 PM on January 28, 2008
He's getting revenge for high school.
posted by IronLizard at 2:49 PM on January 28, 2008
""Stockholders and Wall Street professionals saw the Columbia University graduate as someone who "gave it to you straight,""
OHCOMEON!
posted by phyrewerx at 2:49 PM on January 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
OHCOMEON!
posted by phyrewerx at 2:49 PM on January 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
Maybe I'm missing something here-- the guy sounds like a Class A asshole, and he's likely got some pathology going on-- but why should he be fired from his job, if he hasn't broken the law? I'm unclear what the lawsuits are about-- "emotional damage"? Of course I'm sympathetic to the women he betrayed and abused, but did he abuse his professional position in all of this? Pay them off with company funds?
If you can fire somebody purely because of the circumstances of their private life, then I find this worrying, for obvious reasons.
posted by jokeefe at 2:55 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]
If you can fire somebody purely because of the circumstances of their private life, then I find this worrying, for obvious reasons.
posted by jokeefe at 2:55 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]
How is this any of our business?
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 3:11 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 3:11 PM on January 28, 2008
It's pretty common for firms large and small to have "morals clauses" written into their contracts with senior executives. These are designed, I suppose, to protect companies from damage to reputation caused by an out of control exec or at a minimum projecting the appearance of advocating sleazy behavior. I'm pretty sure this reflects America's puritan mores rather than acting as an effective deterrent or solution.
The one thing that had often befuddled me about the whole Lewinski thing in the 90s was that, any senior military or corporate official would have been fired for what it was revealed had transpired between the President and Monica. Don't get me wrong, I was totally opposed to the investigation, the impeachment and all its attendant nonsense, but it did strike me as patently unfair to everyone else that he got a pass on that.
posted by psmealey at 3:12 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]
The one thing that had often befuddled me about the whole Lewinski thing in the 90s was that, any senior military or corporate official would have been fired for what it was revealed had transpired between the President and Monica. Don't get me wrong, I was totally opposed to the investigation, the impeachment and all its attendant nonsense, but it did strike me as patently unfair to everyone else that he got a pass on that.
posted by psmealey at 3:12 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]
Wow, Colby sounds like a real winner.
I'm guessing that he was fired under the premise that his continued employment could be detrimental to the stock prices (I'm wildly speculating here), or perhaps it was some at-will clause.
She also accuses him of stopping payment on her health insurance even though she had a kidney removed for donation last fall.
I'd love to hear more about this one. The other things seem deplorable, but this could almost be criminal as well.
posted by quin at 3:21 PM on January 28, 2008
I'm guessing that he was fired under the premise that his continued employment could be detrimental to the stock prices (I'm wildly speculating here), or perhaps it was some at-will clause.
She also accuses him of stopping payment on her health insurance even though she had a kidney removed for donation last fall.
I'd love to hear more about this one. The other things seem deplorable, but this could almost be criminal as well.
posted by quin at 3:21 PM on January 28, 2008
It's pretty common for firms large and small to have "morals clauses"
I'm sure he thought it meant morale clause. He was just taking care of his own morale.
posted by Eekacat at 3:22 PM on January 28, 2008
I'm sure he thought it meant morale clause. He was just taking care of his own morale.
posted by Eekacat at 3:22 PM on January 28, 2008
This will Wellpoint.
posted by koeselitz at 3:28 PM on January 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by koeselitz at 3:28 PM on January 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
The one thing that had often befuddled me about the whole Lewinski thing in the 90s was that, any senior military or corporate official would have been fired for what it was revealed had transpired between the President and Monica.
The President is not a military or corporate official, conspiracy theories notwithstanding. His duties and responsibilities are outlined in the Constitution, and the Constitution says you can only forcibly unseat a President in office through impeachment. The only legitimate reasons for impeachment are "treason, bribery and other high crimes and misdemeanors" (Article II, Section 4). A lot of debate went on because of the ambiguity over whether Clinton's shenanigans in the Oral Orifice meet the criteria for "high crimes and midemeanors."
In other words, the President has no direct "morality clause" written into his employment contract (the Constitution) the way officials in the private and military sectors might.
posted by anifinder at 3:41 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
The President is not a military or corporate official, conspiracy theories notwithstanding. His duties and responsibilities are outlined in the Constitution, and the Constitution says you can only forcibly unseat a President in office through impeachment. The only legitimate reasons for impeachment are "treason, bribery and other high crimes and misdemeanors" (Article II, Section 4). A lot of debate went on because of the ambiguity over whether Clinton's shenanigans in the Oral Orifice meet the criteria for "high crimes and midemeanors."
In other words, the President has no direct "morality clause" written into his employment contract (the Constitution) the way officials in the private and military sectors might.
posted by anifinder at 3:41 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
I should clarify: A lot of debate went on because of the ambiguity over whether perjury met the above criteria.
posted by anifinder at 3:45 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by anifinder at 3:45 PM on January 28, 2008
With all these old coots getting it on, makes you wonder Viagra might be a tad overprescribed.
Presumably he wasn't relying on his own HMO to supply him in those quantities. If he had been, he'd be lucky if he could satisy even one of his thirty odd mistresses.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:04 PM on January 28, 2008
Presumably he wasn't relying on his own HMO to supply him in those quantities. If he had been, he'd be lucky if he could satisy even one of his thirty odd mistresses.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:04 PM on January 28, 2008
I don't understand how being an asshole is lawsuit material. Don't we all think our exes are jerks?
posted by desjardins at 4:04 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by desjardins at 4:04 PM on January 28, 2008
I guess I just can't keep up with the lingo, but how is womanizing "pimping"?
posted by JaredSeth at 4:17 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by JaredSeth at 4:17 PM on January 28, 2008
I'm so glad I never ran into him. *shudder*
posted by dasheekeejones at 4:36 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by dasheekeejones at 4:36 PM on January 28, 2008
What an ugly motherfucker. And he's not very attractive, physically, either.
posted by notsnot at 4:37 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by notsnot at 4:37 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]
what the fuck did they expect
when a chunky old dude gives you a hundred fucking grand the first week he knows you, and you accept, what exactly do you think that makes you?
"As for DiCarlo, she says that she met Colby through Match.com and that he proposed the first time they met in person. An engagement announcement for the couple ran in The Indianapolis Star in February 2006. But the two never wed. DiCarlo says she discovered he was living a "secret life," with multiple fiancees."
no shit, stupid - DiCarlo may be a world-class scumbag, but I have no sympathy at all for these women
posted by Optimus Chyme at 4:53 PM on January 28, 2008
when a chunky old dude gives you a hundred fucking grand the first week he knows you, and you accept, what exactly do you think that makes you?
"As for DiCarlo, she says that she met Colby through Match.com and that he proposed the first time they met in person. An engagement announcement for the couple ran in The Indianapolis Star in February 2006. But the two never wed. DiCarlo says she discovered he was living a "secret life," with multiple fiancees."
no shit, stupid - DiCarlo may be a world-class scumbag, but I have no sympathy at all for these women
posted by Optimus Chyme at 4:53 PM on January 28, 2008
Whoa, with the accusations. Colby's not a player he just fucks a lot.
posted by The Straightener at 5:17 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by The Straightener at 5:17 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
It's jerks like this that make actuarial statistic students realize their are hard working 12 hours a day for an asshole that will waste the money on golddiggers anyway.
posted by elpapacito at 5:20 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by elpapacito at 5:20 PM on January 28, 2008
So he's a philanderer. Good for him, I say. We're jealous as hell, but then it's only "promiscuity" when someone else is having all the fun.
posted by clevershark at 5:23 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by clevershark at 5:23 PM on January 28, 2008
I'm sure he thought it meant morale clause. He was just taking care of his own morale.
He was actually takingone dozens for the team back at the office.
posted by ericb at 5:29 PM on January 28, 2008
He was actually taking
posted by ericb at 5:29 PM on January 28, 2008
why is the emphasis on the corporations they represent rather than on the ceos' names?
because if somebody as obscure as you or i proposed marriage to twenty different women in six months, we'd have to self-link to get it on the page here. the sole element of newsworthiness about this is the corporate status, and the conclusion that a significant number of venerated captains of industry are actually just sloppy, lascivious horndogs.
posted by bruce at 5:48 PM on January 28, 2008
because if somebody as obscure as you or i proposed marriage to twenty different women in six months, we'd have to self-link to get it on the page here. the sole element of newsworthiness about this is the corporate status, and the conclusion that a significant number of venerated captains of industry are actually just sloppy, lascivious horndogs.
posted by bruce at 5:48 PM on January 28, 2008
Having read the article, he wasn't fired because he slept with a lot of women, nor is he being sued because he slept with a lot of women.
What he did was sleep with a lot of women and promise them material/financial benefits which he didn't, or couldn't, deliver.
They may have been gullible, but they definitely have a case against him.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 6:28 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]
What he did was sleep with a lot of women and promise them material/financial benefits which he didn't, or couldn't, deliver.
- He bought a house and told a woman that he was giving it to her, so she moved in, but it turns out she's not getting the house and will have to move again.
- He promised to pay for surgery for a woman's child and then went back on the deal, so now she has a huge bill which she can't pay.
They may have been gullible, but they definitely have a case against him.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 6:28 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]
Don't we all think our exes are jerks?
She has her failings, but "jerk" doesn't quite apply, come to think of it. I've made gentle fun of her behind her back, but mostly I feel sorta sorry for her.
posted by pax digita at 6:33 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
She has her failings, but "jerk" doesn't quite apply, come to think of it. I've made gentle fun of her behind her back, but mostly I feel sorta sorry for her.
posted by pax digita at 6:33 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
To guess answers to the original question: Chief Fornicating Officer!? Funbags-lovin' Officer? Fancyrestaurant Officer?
How did he keep so many women strung along? I mean, there were THIRTY of them! Is there a website that helps execs manage dozens of relationships in various area codes and time zones?
posted by longsleeves at 7:00 PM on January 28, 2008
How did he keep so many women strung along? I mean, there were THIRTY of them! Is there a website that helps execs manage dozens of relationships in various area codes and time zones?
posted by longsleeves at 7:00 PM on January 28, 2008
I liked this guy better when he was in Galaxie 500.
posted by escabeche at 7:08 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by escabeche at 7:08 PM on January 28, 2008
Is there a website that helps execs manage dozens of relationships in various area codes and time zones?
That's the entire business model of my "CEOhelper.com" web 2.0 venture.
posted by clevershark at 8:13 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
That's the entire business model of my "CEOhelper.com" web 2.0 venture.
posted by clevershark at 8:13 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
You know who *else* was a Columbia grad, right?
posted by fourcheesemac at 8:52 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by fourcheesemac at 8:52 PM on January 28, 2008
(Holden Karnofsky)
posted by fourcheesemac at 8:53 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by fourcheesemac at 8:53 PM on January 28, 2008
Sorry, that was Harvard. Never mind. Er, Elle Hassenfeld. Ah, fuck it.
posted by fourcheesemac at 8:54 PM on January 28, 2008
posted by fourcheesemac at 8:54 PM on January 28, 2008
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Charming.
posted by psmealey at 1:58 PM on January 28, 2008