Comments on: The Immortal Species

The Immortal Species

Foci for Analysis — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:33:24 -0800

While the dream of immortality might be as old as mankind, the jellyfish Turritopsis nutricula (image) seems to be living it:

The hydrozoan Turritopsis nutricula has evolved a remarkable variation on this theme, and in so doing appears to have achieved immortality. The solitary medusa of this species can revert to its polyp stage after becoming sexually mature (Bavestrello et al., 1992; Piraino et al., 1996). In the laboratory, 100% of these medusae regularly undergo this change. Thus, it is possible that organismic death does not occur in this species!

An in-depth research paper.

By: TwelveTwo

TwelveTwo — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:38:24 -0800

Jellyfish are just like so great, aren't they?

By: Rumple

Rumple — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:47:50 -0800

I, for one, welcome our new Recursive Zombie Jellyfish Overlords. This is cool. My dad is a jellyfish biologist but I never heard of this one before. I did used to get a nickel for a polyorchis and a buck for a nanomia when I was a kid.

By: TheOnlyCoolTim

TheOnlyCoolTim — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:56:20 -0800

KILL IT WITH FIRE

By: 1adam12

1adam12 — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 01:06:03 -0800

If the only way for me to achieve immortality is to go through puberty again, then I'm not interested. No thanks, jelly fish.

By: Djinh

Djinh — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 01:44:22 -0800

Orgasmic death? That doesn't sound too bad...

By: From Bklyn

From Bklyn — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 02:34:01 -0800

La petite mort - maybe the French know a little more than they're letting on...

By: three blind mice

three blind mice — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 02:42:03 -0800

Thus, it is possible that organismic death does not occur in this species! THROW IT INTO A RIVER IN CHINA

By: hal9k

hal9k — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 03:08:37 -0800

The science starts down a slippery path here with jellyfish. Soon ethics will become an issue. What if they start researching immortal porpoises?

By: hoverboards don't work on water

hoverboards don't work on water — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 03:14:19 -0800

Y'all are a bunch of clowns. This is amazing!

By: JaredSeth

JaredSeth — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 03:50:55 -0800

How very Gallifreyan of them.

By: poppo

poppo — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 04:17:08 -0800

All those papers and stuff are like 10 years old. Anything happened since then? I will assume at least that the jellyfish are still alive.

By: louche mustachio

louche mustachio — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 04:50:28 -0800

The good news: You can live forever! The bad news: You have to be a jellyfish, sorry.

By: dances_with_sneetches

dances_with_sneetches — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 05:34:22 -0800

Without peanut butter, it's just not worth living forever.

By: davemee

davemee — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 05:39:00 -0800

Whoever knew the grey goo would come in the form of jellyfish.

By: Mastercheddaar

Mastercheddaar — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 05:44:08 -0800

Scratch peanut butter... Without Bacon it's just not worth living forever!

By: craven_morhead

craven_morhead — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 06:00:01 -0800

So the trick is to be reincarnated as a jellyfish on a peanut-and-hog farm? That'll be easy.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 06:03:43 -0800

KILL IT WITH FIRE THROW IT INTO A RIVER IN CHINA Hey, guys? I don't want to be a total poindexter or buzzkill or anything and I think it's a great plan and all that, but I help but observe that they do indeed, actually, live in water. I recommend that we nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 06:04:29 -0800

I help but ^can't

By: Pecinpah

Pecinpah — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 06:33:45 -0800

So, if this jellyfish never dies, and they are able to reproduce, why is the ocean not chock full o' jellyfish? Too much Japanese 'scientific' sampling?

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 06:37:21 -0800

Well, it never dies via programmed cellular mechanisms, apparently, but you can still kill it (with a stake through its heart).

By: Stonestock Relentless

Stonestock Relentless — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 06:37:25 -0800

It's like a mid-life crisis that works.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 06:43:34 -0800

I like the way it can trans-differentiate/undifferentiate cells. What about the telomeres though? Do the somatic cells express telomerase? Cuz otherwise eventually, the whole system will break down, no?

By: squasha

squasha — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 07:03:57 -0800

I suddenly feel conflicted about this afternoon's jellyfish appetizer....

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 07:40:18 -0800

Ah, the follies of youth. I also thought I would never die when I went through puberty.

By: The Bellman

The Bellman — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 08:01:32 -0800

Without peanut butter, it's just not worth living forever. Obviously, what the world needs is an immortal, regenerating peanut butter and jelly fish. I'll be rich! Rich I tell you!

By: rlk

rlk — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 08:02:11 -0800

Metroids are scary.

By: The Bellman

The Bellman — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 08:04:58 -0800

KILL IT WITH FIRE THROW IT INTO A RIVER IN CHINA ... I also thought I would never die when I went through puberty. Give it a BMW M5. Too soon?

By: crunch buttsteak

crunch buttsteak — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 09:05:35 -0800

Give it a BMW M5. The driver wouldn't be the only fatality. Think of the innocent loss of jelly life..

By: Guy_Inamonkeysuit

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 09:30:42 -0800

THROW IT INTO A RIVER IN CHINA Hell, dude, throw it in the Gowanus Canal.

By: Skwirl

Skwirl — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 09:40:07 -0800

Lobsters are pretty cool, too. And others.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 10:00:32 -0800

I guess massive polution of the oceans has an upside. Assuming these beasts are affected by polution. I think the question on everyone's mind is: "How do they taste?"

By: ooga_booga

ooga_booga — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 10:21:57 -0800

Don't dream it. Be it.

By: tkchrist

tkchrist — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 10:44:14 -0800

"How do they taste?" Immortal-ee.

By: maus

maus — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:42:41 -0800

Whoever knew the grey goo would come in the form of jellyfish. I thought jellyfish were about 99% grey goo*. *this supposition is based entirely on cartoons and video games

By: porpoise

porpoise — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:09:37 -0800

If I eat enough tasty immortal jellyfish, will I acquire immortality?

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:11:28 -0800

If you eat ALL of them. There can be only one.

By: schroedinger

schroedinger — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:42:31 -0800

GODDAMMIT JELLYFISH. They're massacring our salmon, spreading their vile seed across the ocean faster than rabbits do across dry land, and mucking up our precious, precious beaches! And now they've discovered the secrets of immortality? This is the End Times, I tell you, by God, these creatures are going to create a Jellfyish Hell from whence there will be no escape. Next thing you know they're going to go snakefish on us and find out how to survive on dry land, and then they'll be in our homes, our gardens, eating our food and our children and our pets . . . It's their plan! It's coming clear! The Master Jellyfish Takeover! I HATE THEM SO MUCH

By: schroedinger

schroedinger — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:47:25 -0800

What do they do, really? Who do they help? They are parasites. Vicious little parasites. One day we will find out they have a hive mind, there is probably some giant jellyfish nest in the ocean with their Queen. She sends out her evil, stinging soldiers on her missions of DOOM. Devoted to our utter destruction, she will stop at nothing to extend her cruel, painful tentacles across the Earth. Or maybe they are like the Borg. Maybe that's what's happening with all the extinctions in the ocean. It's the fucking jellyfish turning all other ocean species into more jellyfish. Those fucking monsters.

By: schroedinger

schroedinger — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:56:05 -0800

And for all of those people that are all like "But they're so pretty!" and shit, well, fuck you, you've been drawn in by their hypnotic powers! Wake up and smell the brine! You think they're here to be pretty? They're here to destroy us! They're pretty the way a mushroom cloud is pretty. When you look at them you look at the face of death.

By: tawny

tawny — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:21:47 -0800

an in-depth research paper ha.

By: Rumple

Rumple — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:54:59 -0800

one day we will find out they have a hive mind Funny you mention that -- some "jellyfish" (which is not really a valid taxon) were among the first animals to show super-organismal coordination by creating colonies of individual organisms each of which then took on specific functions useful for the organism as a whole. The Portugese Man-o-War is such a colony that gives the macroscopic appearance of being a single organism but is composed of co-operating individual siphonophores. It may indeed be possible for such a complex organism/s to see some sort of emergent sentience or purpose though such a thing has never been observed. Fuck the Ocean, indeed.

By: Rashomon

Rashomon — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:56:24 -0800

I shall inherit the earth. I also pretend to be an experimental metal band.

By: schroedinger

schroedinger — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:59:43 -0800

AH FUCK I KNEW IT! Fuck me, Rumple, fuck me! Fuck all of us!

By: Rumple

Rumple — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:18:37 -0800

DreamFilter: Fuck me, Rumple, fuck me!

By: tellurian

tellurian — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:03:38 -0800

"And both the undying fish that swim, Through Bowscale Tarn did wait on him"

By: markkraft

markkraft — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:14:34 -0800

Unfortuanately for everyone but the jellyfish, this information is of dubious value for humans, because to make an alteration in the evolvement of an organic life system is fatal. A coding sequence can't be revised once it's established. I know this to be the case, because Tyrell told me so!

By: From Bklyn

From Bklyn — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 00:50:40 -0800

AH FUCK I KNEW IT! Fuck me, Rumple, fuck me! Fuck all of us! Um, can opt out of the wide-spread fucking being offered up here? No offense Rumple. I'm just not that into you. thanks.

By: porpoise

porpoise — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 21:45:34 -0800

schroedinger - just for that, I'm going to make it my life's work to cross Portugese Man-o-Wars with something like a Lungfish. too bad their tentacles won't let them wander around on land _{but then again, if I splice in a couple of hox genes, I might be able to give them muscles in their mantle, letting them pull themselves overground.}