Comments on: DO NOT WANT unless starving

DO NOT WANT unless starving

whir — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:21:01 -0800

I can has... wait, it's canned? Canned cheeseburger, only €3.95.

via William Gibson.

By: Henry C. Mabuse

Henry C. Mabuse — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:25:55 -0800

Actually, surprisingly tasty.

By: mullingitover

mullingitover — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:28:02 -0800

These will be worth their weight in bacon after the nuclear apocalypse.

By: TheOnlyCoolTim

TheOnlyCoolTim — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:28:41 -0800

So Germans will put a cheeseburger in a can as a sort of MRE thing for backpacking expeditions. I suspect soon enough Americans will put a cheeseburger in a can so people are spared the trouble of assembling bun, meat, and cheese all on their own. Also, the burger will be made out of corn syrup.

By: LarryC

LarryC — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:28:48 -0800

I like to eat my canned cheeseburger while reading Fark.

By: nola

nola — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:29:34 -0800

I can serve you a canned cheeseburger, or maybe you'd rather I opened a can o' whoop-ass.

By: misha

misha — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:31:10 -0800

Henry C. Mabuse, have you really had one? Give us your take. Does it really look as good when it comes out of the can as the picture implies?

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:31:22 -0800

No way it looks like that coming out of a can. I am guessing is says in microprint somewhere "recommended serving suggestion, cheese tomato and lettuce not included".

By: chimaera

chimaera — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:31:58 -0800

Can Has Cheezburger?

By: Jody Tresidder

Jody Tresidder — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:33:58 -0800

Actually, surprisingly tasty. C'mon, dish >Henry C. Mabuse! Tell us more! "Surprisingly" - how? (Or more than what?)

By: ignignokt

ignignokt — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:34:01 -0800

Whoa. A wave of fear just washed over my heart.

By: Jody Tresidder

Jody Tresidder — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:35:18 -0800

I mean - what misha said!

By: papakwanz

papakwanz — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:37:10 -0800

I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a canned cheeseburger today.

By: TheWhiteSkull

TheWhiteSkull — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:41:56 -0800

I'd gladly pay you Tuesday to not have a canned cheeseburger ever.

By: doctorschlock

doctorschlock — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:42:40 -0800

You just wait till that after midnight hunger-bug hits you. Just like those 49 hour hotdogs at the 7/11 that have twirled over and over again. You buy one and its the most delicious thing you've ever tasted. Wha-La! Cheeseburger in a can.

By: aftermarketradio

aftermarketradio — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:44:14 -0800

Crap, I asked for no botulism.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:45:09 -0800

It tastes like burning.

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:47:37 -0800

A wonderful German invention, but I ask this on behalf of every red-blooded American male: Can you shotgun it?

By: parki

parki — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:49:19 -0800

Combination marijuana and canned cheeseburger vending machine.

By: Thorzdad

Thorzdad — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:54:38 -0800

I will display my can o' cheeseburger on the shelf next to my unopened Stuckey's Pecan Log. I shall sleep with a contented smile, knowing my life is complete.

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:56:00 -0800

Have you guys seen the Peronin product from the same company ? Burger I can has from Burger King :-) , but Peronin appears to be utterly useful and xactly with needed

By: Atom Eyes

Atom Eyes — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:56:43 -0800

WARNING: If can has a dent, put it back on the shelf.* *Also applies if can has no dent.

By: humannaire

humannaire — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:01:32 -0800

Alright, canned hamburger = disgusting and counter-intuitive. But Thorzdad, you have an Stuckey's Pecan Log, and you didn't eat it? Wow, not only are you not from around here, you must have the will power of the gods. Pecans logs = FOOD LOVE !

By: The Straightener

The Straightener — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:02:00 -0800

Spork worthy.

By: william_boot

william_boot — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:02:47 -0800

No Coke. Pepsi.

By: Metroid Baby

Metroid Baby — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:03:28 -0800

I suspect you pretty much have to eat it with a spoon.

By: pyrex

pyrex — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:04:27 -0800

blue_beetle: It tastes like burning. Correction, tastes like abortion.

By: monju_bosatsu

monju_bosatsu — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:04:50 -0800

Also, the burger will be made out of corn syrup. So like a regular fast food burger?

By: christopherious

christopherious — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:05:00 -0800

Mentioned yesterday on The Sneeze.

By: slogger

slogger — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:06:05 -0800

Should I find it disturbing that I'm now craving a cheeseburger from Sonic?

By: brain_drain

brain_drain — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:12:26 -0800

And you can use the empty can to catch your vomit!

By: FelliniBlank

FelliniBlank — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:14:12 -0800

Now, when they successfully get the deep-fried, cheese-covered 100% baconburger into a can, I shall sit up and take notice. Unless my arteries are too hard by then.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:19:34 -0800

"Wha-La! Cheeseburger in a can." Wha-La? Are you fucking kidding?

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:19:40 -0800

They should put more chocolate chips in the bread, add extra syrup, and then baconate it.

By: seawallrunner

seawallrunner — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:22:10 -0800

All of the foods on that site are dehydrated (read the text on the site's main page) so I suspect that the patty is in the can, but all else is "Hiker brings all" eg the bun, the lettuce (so pretty in the picture, don't you think?) the ketchup, the works. there's also dehydrated wine on another page - hot drink and cold drink version. Sorry to burst your bubbles, bubs :)

By: Hugonaut

Hugonaut — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:32:02 -0800

All I can think of is the episode of Twilight Zone called "Two" in which Charles Bronson fights with a woman over a can of fried chicken. I'm still looking for canned fried chicken. Not very hard but still.

By: soundofsuburbia

soundofsuburbia — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:35:23 -0800

there's also dehydrated wine on another page What?! Like Pop Rocks with an alcohol content? DO WANT

By: [insert clever name here]

[insert clever name here] — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:39:42 -0800

"Wha-La! Cheeseburger in a can." Wha-La? Are you fucking kidding? I believe 'Wha-La' is probably the appropriate spelling for a bastardization such as a cheeseburger in a can.

By: furtive

furtive — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:43:13 -0800

Doesn't boggle the mind as much as when they invented the microwaveable milk shake.

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:44:55 -0800

"CanBurger" with lots of photos, including inside the can. (scroll way down)

By: chillmost

chillmost — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:45:24 -0800

Mmmmm. Mahlzeit!

By: louche mustachio

louche mustachio — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:45:32 -0800

I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? *plunk* I CAN HAS CAN OPENER? *clatter* I CAN HAS OPPOSABLE THUMBS? ..... SHIT.

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:52:26 -0800

More "inside the can photos here. MMM, art.

By: ssg

ssg — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:57:00 -0800

louche: It has a pull tab. And any good Swiss cat (yes people, this is a Swiss product, not a German one) will have a Swiss Army Knife anyways.

By: seawallrunner

seawallrunner — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:57:07 -0800

you could not pay me enough to try this stuff - it looks vile. The writeup near the photos states that there were some free samples in the Oldest Market In Paris every Saturday during the month of December. Glad I missed this.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:02:26 -0800

These need to be included for sale in the marijuana vending machines.

By: tellurian

tellurian — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:02:47 -0800

It's safer to stick to the traditional way of the future.

By: porpoise

porpoise — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:05:16 -0800

louche mustachio - it's a pop-top. I know raccoons can open those things (I wouldn't be surprised octopodes could figure it out too).

By: louche mustachio

louche mustachio — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:12:29 -0800

Hmmph. My cat's wet food has a pop-top, too. So far she has failed to open it herself, but I'll keep you posted.

By: Flashman

Flashman — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:13:23 -0800

Gott liebe! Racoons?

By: mattoxic

mattoxic — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:15:02 -0800

Gotta say, the copy on the gizmag is just shite. Perhaps is a babelfish translation.

By: ssg

ssg — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:18:56 -0800

A French artist has 10,000 hamburgers canned by an unnamed German meat-preserving company for an art exhibit entitled CANBURGER and and hands them out on the street during December. His show opens on January 25th. Two days later, Katadin (a Swiss company) announces the release of the cheeseburger in a can. So is this an artist taking the idea for the canned hamburger from Katadyn (the Swiss company) or did Katadyn somehow catch wind of the French artist's German-produced hamburger in a can and take it one step further? Or is Katadyn actually the "German" company in question? Is this just a case of art and business converging on the same idea at the same time?

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:20:19 -0800

Damned sinister raccoons! They open up jars and stuff!

By: cillit bang

cillit bang — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:22:34 -0800

All of the foods on that site are dehydrated (read the text on the site's main page) so I suspect that the patty is in the can, but all else is "Hiker brings all" eg the bun, the lettuce (so pretty in the picture, don't you think?) the ketchup, the works. It actually says "designed so it can be prepared [...] using only water and fire". And in this case, the water's for boiling the can in - The press release says "Simply heat the can in a water bath, open the lid, and enjoy your cheeseburger". Two days later, Katadin (a Swiss company) announces the release of the cheeseburger in a can. The original press release is dated the 17th.

By: cillit bang

cillit bang — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:25:21 -0800

Just noticed, it's the 17th of July 2007.

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:26:50 -0800

There is a full page ad for the Mike Bouchet's "Canburger" exhibit in this month's ArtForum.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:33:32 -0800

Y'know, suddenly I really want a cheeseburger. Et, whaa la!

By: Huplescat

Huplescat — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:39:27 -0800

The presidential race is cheeseburger in a can.

By: ssg

ssg — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:49:02 -0800

cillit bang: Where did you find the original press release?

By: cillit bang

cillit bang — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:05:31 -0800

On the corporate website. It's linked in my last comment.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:50:19 -0800

"Y'know, suddenly I really want a cheeseburger. Et, whaa la!" Et two, miss lynnster?

By: Thorzdad

Thorzdad — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:57:38 -0800

But Thorzdad, you have an Stuckey's Pecan Log, and you didn't eat it? But, it's a prime mid-90's vintage log! It's barely aged properly.

By: Tube

Tube — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:02:40 -0800

Though on the dry side, it does remind one of the onion.

By: cmgonzalez

cmgonzalez — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:05:20 -0800

Pfft. Vegetarian burgers have been coming canned for years. Welcome to the 21st century, omnivores.

By: Henry C. Mabuse

Henry C. Mabuse — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:07:09 -0800

It's a bit moist, and the meat is rubbery, but I like food that is awful. Also, I lied.

By: frecklefaerie

frecklefaerie — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:45:49 -0800

Someone at SA ate one and posted pics! How I love the internet.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:32:19 -0800

would you like canned fries with that?

By: tellurian

tellurian — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:00:57 -0800

Someone at SA ate one and posted pics! What's all that 'our' in the ingredients (wheat our, malt our, mustard our)? Also, it has sponge in it?

By: Jilder

Jilder — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:15:24 -0800

From the photos, I think it's pretty fair to describe that bun as "spongy". In case you need emergency birth control on the mountain. Those mountaineers, you know...

By: Mike D

Mike D — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:22:33 -0800

Doubts this one has. I mean, how in heck can a canned burger be sold as lighter than the ingredients one would be required to carry in order to make a cheeseburger after a day's pitonning up the Matterhorn? "A canner exceedingly canny One evening remarked to his granny: 'A canner can can anything that one can But a canner can't can a can, Can he?"

By: Unicorn on the cob

Unicorn on the cob — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:31:22 -0800

I wouldn't eat this if it was 3 years after the nuclear holocaust. Unless it had A1 sauce on it.

By: Sand Reckoner

Sand Reckoner — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 22:02:30 -0800

tellurian: It looks like "our" in the English ingredients corresponds to "Mehl" in the German, which apparently means "flour."

By: blacklite

blacklite — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 01:38:18 -0800

I am so pleased that the internet has provided a first-person narrative of someone eating a can of cheeseburger. It warms my cockles.

By: PontifexPrimus

PontifexPrimus — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 03:11:02 -0800

tellurian: "Someone at SA ate one and posted pics! What's all that 'our' in the ingredients (wheat our, malt our, mustard our)? Also, it has sponge in it?" Well, according to this the translation of the German "Vorteig" (lit. "pre-dough", a dough that's created explicitly to allow yeast to multiplay) is "yeast sponge". It's not our fault your language is so strange... ;)

By: caution live frogs

caution live frogs — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 06:02:55 -0800

FelliniBlank: "Now, when they successfully get the deep-fried, cheese-covered 100% baconburger into a can, I shall sit up and take notice. Unless my arteries are too hard by then." I see your cheesy baconburger and raise you a bacon cheese baconburger. Also included are bacon cereal and the ultimate bacon sandwich. None of which are canned.

By: caution live frogs

caution live frogs — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 06:06:53 -0800

PontifexPrimus writes "It's not our fault your language is so strange..." Except English a Germanic language, which means it's at least partly your fault. :)

By: FelliniBlank

FelliniBlank — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 06:27:07 -0800

I see your cheesy baconburger and raise you a bacon cheese baconburger. Also included are bacon cereal and the ultimate bacon sandwich. None of which are canned. Meanwhile, to get the metallic aftertang of canned cheeseburger out of your mouth, try a handful of Bacon Mints.

By: sephira

sephira — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 12:52:23 -0800

Meanwhile, to get the metallic aftertang of canned cheeseburger out of your mouth, try a handful of Bacon Mints. Make sure to wash it down with a shot of Bacon Vodka.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 13:15:27 -0800

Here is a better bacon sandwich. Only the laughter is canned.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 05:22:21 -0800

Is this just a case of art and business converging on the same idea at the same time? Ah, steam engine time! Only, like, for canned cheeseburgers.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 18:05:55 -0800

Just in case you'd prefer a canned bacon cheeseburger.

By: whir

whir — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 14:49:48 -0800

Important update! The Onion AV Club does a taste test, with video. Summary: "it's pretty much like a dog-food patty."