Comments on: Charles Bronson: Not to be messed with.

Charles Bronson: Not to be messed with.

thisisdrew — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:57:34 -0800

Don't Mess with Charles Bronson (Videos) Charles Bronson is not to be messed with on the street, in any man made structure, but certainly not on a train. When Charles Bronson wants to sit alone and read his paper on the subway, leave Charles Bronson alone.

By: billysumday

billysumday — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:18:59 -0800

Don't Mess with Charles Bronson WELL DUH

By: ODiV

ODiV — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:21:40 -0800

Charles Bronson sure does love his cologne. Also, I watched Death Wish for the first time mere days before seeing The Brave One. It was a strange experience. I read 2001 while on a plane watching Contact too. I think that's somehow related.

By: CKmtl

CKmtl — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:23:05 -0800

Charles Bronson is such a bad dude, he can sell Japanese cologne and not lose a shred of credibility. I don't know about that... Also, holy. shit. He's pouring that stuff on. Was that really how people rolled in the 70s?

By: billysumday

billysumday — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:23:30 -0800

Also, that's a great site. Bronson!

By: caddis

caddis — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:31:55 -0800

These movies played right into the fears and frustrations of folks afraid of their crime ridden cities of the 70's. It seemed like the police couldn't help and Charles Bronson and his ilk rode into town like Shane (well, quite a bit more violent) and kicked some criminal ass. People feeling weak and vulnerable at the hands of street thugs cheered.

By: amyms

amyms — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:34:47 -0800

Before Chuck Norris goes to sleep at night, he checks under his bed for Charles Bronson.

By: DU

DU — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:35:22 -0800

He had quite a range, too. From a killer afraid of tight spaces in The Great Escape to a killer who likes kids in The Magnificent Seven, he portrayed the full range of human experience. We were destined not to see his equal in expressiveness until the advent of Keanu Reeves.

By: Mr_Zero

Mr_Zero — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:44:49 -0800

When I was younger I loved the movie The Mechanic.

By: basicchannel

basicchannel — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:50:50 -0800

...To a killer with no name in Once Upon a Time in the West. So many nuanced tones and flavors in the killer palette.

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:01:00 -0800

Apple pays ~~Chuck Norris~~ Charles Bronson 99 cents every time he listens to a song. ~~Chuck Norris~~ Charles Bronson can eat just one Lay's potato chip. ~~Chuck Norris~~ Charles Bronson doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. For those of us who think Chuck Norris has become a sad religious zealot freakazoid weirdo conservative fundamentalist spooky creepy person, Charles Bronson can be the new Chuck Norris. At least until we learned what Charles Bronson's real political leanings are. We can keep doing this until all we have left is Bruce Willis. God help us.

By: kittens for breakfast

kittens for breakfast — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:11:20 -0800

For those of us who think Chuck Norris has become a sad religious zealot freakazoid weirdo conservative fundamentalist spooky creepy person, Charles Bronson can be the new Chuck Norris. At least until we learned what Charles Bronson's real political leanings are. There is one...small...problem with this.

By: Heminator

Heminator — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:12:12 -0800

ZachsMind, hate to dissapoint but Bruce Willis is a Republican. and FWIW, Stallone recently endorsed McCain.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:14:06 -0800

As he got older and stouter his dispatching of bad guys got a bit lazier...just raised his shooting arm and pop.

By: cgc373

cgc373 — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:17:03 -0800

Well, ZachsMind, Walter Hill did say Willis would be the Last Man Standing.

By: uncanny hengeman

uncanny hengeman — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:18:01 -0800

15 years ago I wuz detemined to watch this movie Death Wish that I'd heard a lot about. Cropped up numerous times in Mad magizine and various other places. And by god I did. Not a bad movie, IIRC. During the rape scene I remember going "Holy eff! That's Jeff Goldblum!!!" They spray painted her ass. 2 rude.

By: ferdydurke

ferdydurke — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:18:44 -0800

Apparently the lesson these street toughs don't appreciate is that you need to bring a GUN, not a knife, if you plan to fight Mr. Bronson.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:20:02 -0800

There is one...small...problem with this. In the same vein, Lee Marvin always struck me as a manly sort. Jesus, he's been dead over 20 years.

By: Iridic

Iridic — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:23:37 -0800

Barney Fife: "Where's Otis? He's not in his cell!" Charles Bronson: "I shot him." Barney: "Well that's just - you WHAT?!"" Bronson: "Now I'm going to Emmit's Fix-It Shop. To fix Emmit."

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:25:09 -0800

Bronson's a pussycat compared to the KGB sleeper cells.

By: NoMich

NoMich — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:35:10 -0800

Things I learned watching "Death Wish 3". 8) Stuffed cabbage smells wonderful!, indeed.

By: lalochezia

lalochezia — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:44:02 -0800

Charles Bronson: November 3, 1921 – August 30, 2003. FRGHTENED: FAIL!

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:30:37 -0800

Charles Bronson wants everyone to think he's dead, to make it easier for him to sneak up on and kill his enemies. Oh, and Bruce Willis is a pussy.

By: bigskyguy

bigskyguy — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 21:54:52 -0800

Bronson was pretty tough, actually. When he was in his late 60s or early 70s, he encountered a burglar in his apartment. He subdued the guy (and broke the burglar's arm while doing so.) And while not strictly a tough tale, Bronson did tell David McCallum that he was going to marry McCallum's wife after meeting her. Two years later, Jill Ireland was was Mrs. Charles Buchinsky.

By: bruce

bruce — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 00:25:51 -0800

i've never seen a movie where the audience erupted in applause every five minutes, except for death wish. that was a people-pleaser. it made a very simple statement, and a lot of people agreed with that statement.

By: Henry C. Mabuse

Henry C. Mabuse — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 00:33:56 -0800

The Goodies book 'Disaster Movie' relentlessly pummels Bronson from almost page one. IIRC, he's characterised as only 2 foot tall, and in their 'movie' plays the back end of a pantomime Shih-Tzu (spelled Shitzu in the book), the front half played by equally diminutive John Wayne. (using memories over 20 years old here so errors may occur)

By: ubiquity

ubiquity — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 00:53:22 -0800

He wasn't always so tough. Katharine Hepburn beat him up in Pat and Mike.

By: Mocata

Mocata — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 02:19:51 -0800

Smart Dalek! Oh man, that Telefon trailer is good. I remember catching it on Channel 4 or something late at night and being amazed that the Naked Gun had just lifted a whole scene from it without having to rewrite it at all.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 02:56:29 -0800

The British Charlie Bronson would have the other one any time...

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 03:09:35 -0800

Is there a writer's strike for the internet too? Is that why we are seeing meme repeats?

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 04:50:10 -0800

He's no Lee Marvin. The douchebag.

By: aftermarketradio

aftermarketradio — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 06:03:52 -0800

Hey, let's not be shortsighted. Chuck Norris and Charles Broson are both lightweights compared to the Demon King of Hardcore: Riki-Oh.

By: symbioid

symbioid — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 09:14:58 -0800

bigskyguy: "And while not strictly a tough tale, Bronson did tell David McCallum that he was going to marry McCallum's wife after meeting her. Two years later, Jill Ireland was was Mrs. Charles Buchinsky." Wait... Where did this Buchinsky guy come from... oh... wait... ok, I get it!

By: Iridic

Iridic — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 09:35:56 -0800

A quick flip through Bronson's IMDb credits reminded of his status as one Hollywood's Vague Ethnics, that curious class of dark but recognizably (and safely) caucasian actors that casting directors used to favor for roles that fell outside of WASP provenance. ANY role. In Bronson's case, that would include "Grigori Borzov," "Dan Shomron," "Chino Valdez," "Pardon Chato," "Rodolfo Fierro," "Janos Colescou," and "Bernardo O'Reilly." (And, more naturally, a slew of guys with names like "Kovac" or "Brodsky.") Other Vague Ethnics included Eli Wallach, Peter Lorre, Yul Brynner, Omar Sharif, Topol, Anthony Quinn (who was perhaps their patron saint), and Robbie "Running Brave" Benson (who was almost certainly their Antichrist.) Today, naturalistic casting has all but killed off the Vague Ethnic as such. Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson (who in a previous generation might have played Mexicans, Iroquois, Israelis, Arabs, and Russians) now receive post-racial roles, characters with names like "Rick Smith" or "Xander Cage." (Looking back over what the past couple paragraphs, I noticed that no actresses came to mind when I was listing Vague Ethnics. Surely there were female equivalents to Eli Wallach, but damned if I can think of any. Suggestions?)

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 10:32:52 -0800

Oh man, that Telefon trailer is good. Proof that Robert Frost can drive people to murder.