Jasure, Rundy Noomun's looggege-a bork bork

January 31, 2008 9:27 AM

It was inevitable, really, for dwarves zipped in suitcases to steal from the Swedes considering the trend of small time gangsters starting in Malaysia. (pic here) Oh, maybe you think it’s funny when a little person’s penis gets glued to a vaccum cleaner or a Mexican midget gets eaten by a pelican or a hippo eats a dwarf, but it’s not going to be so funny when you’re a Centenarian and they come after you.
posted by Smedleyman (46 comments total)

I guess Markoff Cheney's trust fund ran dry.
posted by bunnytricks at 9:30 AM on January 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

Argh! Gersh gurndy morn-dee burn-dee, burn-dee, flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip - small time gangsters link here.
posted by Smedleyman at 9:33 AM on January 31, 2008

Sorry... but I just can't get into a post that targets a group like this... If someone did this type of post about overweight people, women, people with down's syndrome, blacks, hispanics, etc, etc, we would have a 600 reply mess...
posted by HuronBob at 9:37 AM on January 31, 2008

"small time gangsters" link didn't work for me. Otherwise, the rest was (and I'm sad to admit this) strangely amusing to read through.
posted by JD Rucker at 9:41 AM on January 31, 2008

Loldwarfs? Thanks, no.
posted by spaceman_spiff at 9:44 AM on January 31, 2008

I find it repulsive that you would even consider making a post like this.
posted by nasreddin at 9:55 AM on January 31, 2008

My head asplode.
posted by jquinby at 9:56 AM on January 31, 2008

ROFL, where do you find this stuff!?!
posted by hellslinger at 10:01 AM on January 31, 2008

A police spokesman admitted the force in Sweden was questioning “people of limited stature” with criminal records.

People of limited stature... hur hur hur.. *snarf* I'm sorry, but it is funny...
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 10:04 AM on January 31, 2008

Have you seen the latest dwarves unveiled by Steve Jobs? Never mind suitcases, they fit in carry-ons. They have no legs or arms but what the hell do you need those for anyway?
posted by srboisvert at 10:06 AM on January 31, 2008

Sorry... but I just can't get into a post that targets a group like this... If someone did this type of post about overweight people, women, people with down's syndrome, blacks, hispanics, etc, etc, we would have a 600 reply mess...

Oh nonsense.

While I agree this is a crap post, mostly becuase of it's cryptic nature and no real pay-off, Astro Zombie recently did an EXCELLENT post about Dwarves and HE called them Midgets (Titled: If your beer keg runs out early, there is probably a drunk midget inside) and nobody said anything about it. There was zero controversy. But thanks for trying to drum one up where none exists.
posted by tkchrist at 10:07 AM on January 31, 2008

I find it repulsive that you would even consider making a post like this.

I find it just a little offensive.
posted by Lord_Pall at 10:09 AM on January 31, 2008

Yeah, go ahead and laugh until one of these nail-hard little mother fuckers comes bustin' out of your Louis Vuitton screamin', "BOO YAH."
posted by The Straightener at 10:10 AM on January 31, 2008 [1 favorite]

I find it repulsive that you would even consider


This will Wendell
posted by CynicalKnight at 10:10 AM on January 31, 2008

Remember to have your dwarves and midgets spayed and neutered and declawed and circumcised and baptized and placed on a treadmill to see if they can fly!
posted by Mister_A at 10:11 AM on January 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

tkchrist, the very first post in that thread is by Astro Zombie explaining that the word "midget" was used due to historical context and that the term is no longer appropriate.

Not trying to stoke the fires, but HuronBob is exactly correct: "midget" is offensive to little people. (I'm 6'4", and even I know that!) Or is it okay to call black people "niggers" again cuz, hey, Dave Chapelle does it!

But midgets are funny -- haha, look at 'em go!!
posted by LordSludge at 10:18 AM on January 31, 2008

Yeah, go ahead and laugh until one of these nail-hard little mother fuckers comes bustin' out of your Louis Vuitton screamin', "BOO YAH."

Or a cat pops out and lunges at you after opening your suitcase: "“She looks cute now, but she was all teeth and fangs at that point...I screamed like a little girl.”
posted by ericb at 10:19 AM on January 31, 2008

I can get down with a post that targets anything!
posted by fusinski at 10:24 AM on January 31, 2008

tkchrist...

Evidently I'm an idiot... (I actually knew that all along)...but, none-the-less, attempt to enlighten me as to why a post that targets a group whose stature/ability/color/race/gender isn't offensive...and I'll attempt to find the humor in making fun of groups like this...
posted by HuronBob at 10:26 AM on January 31, 2008

While I agree this is a crap post, mostly becuase of it's cryptic nature and no real pay-off, Astro Zombie recently did an EXCELLENT post about Dwarves and HE called them Midgets (Titled: If your beer keg runs out early, there is probably a drunk midget inside) and nobody said anything about it. There was zero controversy. But thanks for trying to drum one up where none exists.

And, as LordSludge said, AZ explained that this was for historical context.

Even if AZ hadn't explained that, although there would probably have ben some complaints, the post probably would've been okay; the *content* was legit, if perhaps not the language. This post? Crap sites on the internet that make a spectacle out of dwarfs. I mean, did you look at AllAboutMidgets? Heck, a good post could be made out of that - but not by presenting it as "giggle giggle snort snort look at the ickle funny people".

Metafilter is not Fark; it's not SomethingAwful; it's not Myspace.
posted by spaceman_spiff at 10:27 AM on January 31, 2008

Among the many other problems with this post, why affect the pose of 'wearily jaded'? Thieving dwarves in suitcases were inevitable? Since when?

If it was really inevitable, why the hell even bother posting about it? If it's actually post-worthy, pretending it isn't doesn't make you cool.
posted by Malor at 10:38 AM on January 31, 2008

Srsly?
posted by The Straightener at 10:38 AM on January 31, 2008

An intruging post, which forms the basis of a pitch I'm making to George Clooney and Brad Pitt for Ocean's Fourteen.
posted by boo_radley at 10:39 AM on January 31, 2008

This post came up short, it was half as entertaining as I expected, for the small-minded... ha ha ha, see what I did there etc etc
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:40 AM on January 31, 2008

None the less, I was intrigued and grateful because of the word the Telegraph story missed out: Ryanair. There are not "thousands of British tourists" taking coach tours of Sweden, to my knowledge. But there are thousands making the seventy mile journey from Västerås to Stockholm because Västerås is one of the airports Ryanair considers local to Stockholm. I've done it myself. And if there are going to be ingenious luggage thieves operating on that stretch, I want to know about it.

None the less, you would have thought that the coach drivers would notice something when they unloaded the luggage.
posted by alloneword at 10:41 AM on January 31, 2008

but, none-the-less, attempt to enlighten me as to why a post that targets a group whose stature/ability/color/race/gender isn't offensive...and I'll attempt to find the humor in making fun of groups like this...

What? Uh. How about I don't do that.

None of you complained about AZ post. Huh. Interesting.

Like I said this post is crap but not becuase it is anymore or less bigoted than AZ's.

But continue. Let's make a thing out of this. Please make a MeTa thread. I demand that you people who think it's offensive do at least that and show your outrage in some sort of consistent if non-productive fashion.
posted by tkchrist at 10:42 AM on January 31, 2008

If only the Supreme Being had not fired them for making the Pink Bunkadoo, they wouldn't have had to resort to this.
posted by cog_nate at 10:42 AM on January 31, 2008 [1 favorite]

"None of you complained about AZ post. Huh. Interesting."

actually, I never saw that one...there are actually days that I don't get a chance to browse the blue...
posted by HuronBob at 10:48 AM on January 31, 2008

I don't think that "photo here" link is for the Malaysian gang. It's used numerous times on that "allaboutmidgets" site, and at one point it's captioned: "Disclaimer: The little person in this photograph (left) isn't the criminal dwarf in this story, but I liked the photo and thought it went well with this piece. He looks like the kind of midget who could survive a stint in the big house, right?"
posted by miss lynnster at 10:50 AM on January 31, 2008

Well there is no time like present for some retro active outrage.

Arise villagers! Light your torches and travel back in time with me to the heady insulting days of yore of January 21, 2008!!! He said MIDGET!!!!!

And please I'd like it if at least 10 more people explain to me, with angry indignation, or the prurient and insulting nature of various racial and bigoted slurs and how they are like each other and to which group they will land with the most ugly emotional impact. Because I am not of your world and I did not know any of that.

TO YOUR PITCH FORKS!!!
posted by tkchrist at 10:55 AM on January 31, 2008

In 1988 or so, I went to hear a friend's band at the Palamino Club in LA and I was getting all into my dancing groove. Whilst boogying down, I kept feeling something poking at me but I was drunk and I just figured someone was bumping into me so I ignored it and went about rocking out. Having a great old time. Tra la la. I was quite the dancer, y'see. Anyhoooooo... after the song was over I walk over to my friends and they were laughing so hard they were crying. Just in hysterics. I'm like "What??? What's wrong with you guys?" They can't even talk they're laughing so hard. Finally one of my friends said, "You have no idea, do you? You really didn't notice?" I'm shaking my head just wondering what the hell is wrong with these people.

Turned out that the whole time I was dancing, apparently the dude from Willow was trying to ask me to dance. Pulling on my shirt or something, I don't know. I was in my groove, I never looked down, I HAD NO. CLUE. I just remember feeling someone bumping me and ignoring it.

So if you ask me, no wonder they're angry.

While I'm at it... I would like to formally and publicly apologize to the dude from Willow. Wherever you are. Really. I mean it.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:00 AM on January 31, 2008 [3 favorites]

meta
posted by LordSludge at 11:03 AM on January 31, 2008

miss lynnster, we really love it when you tell those stories about rubbing shoulders with the high and mighty.








What?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:09 AM on January 31, 2008 [1 favorite]

“If someone did this type of post about overweight people, women, people with down's syndrome, blacks, hispanics”

If overweight folks or people with down’s syndrome were organizing into thematic gangs and coming up with unique ways to rob folks, or being exploited into doing it, I think that’d be a valid post.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:12 AM on January 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

Y'know, it's actually a relief to me to tell that story. I have always felt really badly for the way my friends were laughing and I will never forget it. So it feels good to say I'm sorry, just for myself. I wish I'd seen him.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:15 AM on January 31, 2008

Is it just me, or did anyone else read about these diminutive gangs and immediately imagine rounding them up, designing a costume, and moving to Gotham City to start a gimmick crimewave?
posted by Parasite Unseen at 11:19 AM on January 31, 2008

Is it just me, or did anyone else read about these diminutive gangs and immediately imagine rounding them up, designing a costume, and moving to Gotham City to start a gimmick crimewave?

It's just you. Funny, yes. But just you.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:31 AM on January 31, 2008 [1 favorite]

Oh, man, miss lynnster, you missed a chance to dance with Warwick Davis? I would so like to have been in your place. Would have been a totally cool thing to dance with him. (resisting girlzone comments here)
posted by lleachie at 11:31 AM on January 31, 2008

Someone has to say this: Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers!
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 11:33 AM on January 31, 2008

Slow day Smedley?

To the MeTa-mobile!!

*Nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana, METAMAN!! METAMAN!! METAMAN...*
posted by Skygazer at 11:34 AM on January 31, 2008

Little people are, apparently, the last group that it's OK to objectify like this. Replace every reference to LP in the OP to "Jews" - is this still funny? I don't think so, and I'm pretty sure I have a sense of humor.
posted by luriete at 11:35 AM on January 31, 2008

I would so like to have been in your place. Would have been a totally cool thing to dance with him.

Well, maybe you already had one. You just didn't know.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:39 AM on January 31, 2008

I should've included that whole quote including the "Oh, man, miss lynnster, you missed a chance to dance with Warwick Davis? " part. It would've been funnier.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:40 AM on January 31, 2008

If gangs of Hasidic Jews were banding together and robbing people, zipping themselves in luggage or commiting a crime in some other amazing fashion, yes, that would be funny and odd enough, surprising enough, to be worth a distinctive look. My focus was on the strangeness of the events, not the traits, surrounding ‘x’ grouping of individuals. Obviously, I failed to express the theme I was trying to.
But all that’s on meta.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:41 AM on January 31, 2008

Praise Eris for this thread and for miss lynnster's amazing chronicles.
posted by Mister_A at 11:49 AM on January 31, 2008

"Turned out that the whole time I was dancing, apparently the dude from Willow was trying to ask me to dance. Pulling on my shirt or something, I don't know."

That, added to the Wilt Chamberlain story, is quite literally the long and the short of it.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:23 PM on January 31, 2008