Everything I needed to know I learned as a sperm thingy

February 4, 2008 12:24 AM

Coil

No clicking. Figure-out-how-to-interact minigame sequence.

posted by juv3nal (41 comments total)

I guess I won? Not sure.
posted by Faux Real at 1:06 AM on February 4, 2008

I got through the sperm stage, but I can't figure out the next stage's objective.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:13 AM on February 4, 2008

never mind argh
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:15 AM on February 4, 2008

did anyone else think this was going to be about the band? ...just me? kbye
posted by louche mustachio at 1:55 AM on February 4, 2008 [7 favorites]

By the way, you can skip the turgid prose with a quick mouse-circle in the direction of the arrows.
posted by Malor at 1:58 AM on February 4, 2008

I think... I won too? Or maybe I lost. ................... Yeah.
posted by blacklite at 2:35 AM on February 4, 2008

"Loading might take some time."

Typically around 9 months.
posted by toddie at 2:55 AM on February 4, 2008

There's genuinely something disturbing about this game. I think it's the whole sperm thing.
posted by bobbyone at 5:01 AM on February 4, 2008

Very nice and all, but I wonder where it started: Art school, or dropping acid while watching Nova?
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:02 AM on February 4, 2008

Consider me also stuck on stage two.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:06 AM on February 4, 2008

Had to give up once I got the the dogfighting fetus.
posted by suckerpunch at 5:46 AM on February 4, 2008

This is like flOw only creepy, arthouse incoherent, and not really all that fun to play.

For people stuck on the dodging part, rotate your cursor around the ball to make it spin in one direction or the other. You can dodge much easier on the left side of the screen as well, which is helpful to know.
posted by CheshireCat at 5:51 AM on February 4, 2008

I liked the art, but the controls were horrible. I have no idea how I beat the fetus and flagella/uterus stage.

A cooler game from the same designer is Tri-achnid
posted by afu at 5:56 AM on February 4, 2008

The crab-boss at the end of Stage Twelve is the toughest. After that, it's relatively simple--if you remember the clues, that is.

If you don't pay attention (I recommend taking notes), you'll be sorely disappointed when you get past Twelve and are suddenly face-to-face with the Time Quiz.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 5:58 AM on February 4, 2008

What the hell do you do on the 'split screen' level?
posted by delmoi at 6:04 AM on February 4, 2008

(Oh, hmm. I looped around one of the 'gland' things on the lower split screen and then it took me to the next level. Which I just gave up on, not able to figure out what I was supposed to be doing)
posted by delmoi at 6:09 AM on February 4, 2008

I finished it... now what am I supposed to do with this squalling brat with the dead eyes and breath from the grave? Breast milk? Or formula?
posted by taz at 6:14 AM on February 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

Very low motility.
posted by Pastabagel at 6:56 AM on February 4, 2008

Good lord, that was awful. I can't recall the last time I lost interest in a supposed game so quickly.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:07 AM on February 4, 2008

I got very bored on the 2nd , uh, "level"?
posted by mikeo2 at 7:42 AM on February 4, 2008

Louche Mustachio, I thought it was going to be about the band. You're not alone, man.
posted by Area Control at 7:45 AM on February 4, 2008

I fell asleep after round 1, woke up two hours later at the keyboard, and someone onscreen was calling me "daddy."

Then I went to MetaFilter and found this FPP. Thanks, MetaFilter!
posted by not_on_display at 8:12 AM on February 4, 2008

I made a game called coil once. I was hoping this would be that, and I was famous, at last
posted by ZippityBuddha at 8:19 AM on February 4, 2008

what am I supposed to do with this squalling brat with the dead eyes and breath from the grave?

Circumcise and de-claw it, obviously.
posted by Ufez Jones at 8:20 AM on February 4, 2008

What the hell do you do on the 'split screen' level?

you're collecting food for your "creature" on the top screen by moving it using his organelles on the bottom screen. the two sacks on the right and left control spin, the bottom acceleration, and the fat bladder in the middle is a "swallow" reflex.
posted by mr_book at 8:23 AM on February 4, 2008

All I know is that I was playing...and some right to life group showed up, unhappy.
posted by filmgeek at 9:55 AM on February 4, 2008

I think I'll hold out for the Inland Empire first-person shooter.
posted by jbickers at 9:58 AM on February 4, 2008

I think the idea that obfuscated controls facilitate interest and challenge is extremely misguided.
posted by mr_roboto at 10:41 AM on February 4, 2008

Rejected Level Ideas:

-A Towers of Hanoi puzzle, to be solved using nothing but the tilde key.
-Fetal Cart Racer.
-Negotiating the Treaty of Ghent as a histrionic embryo.
posted by Iridic at 11:16 AM on February 4, 2008 [2 favorites]

Finally a replacement for Desktop Tower Defence!!!!


*shoots self in head with Squirt Cannon*
posted by unSane at 11:47 AM on February 4, 2008

gonna go listen to Kadaa/Patton, now.
posted by shmegegge at 1:09 PM on February 4, 2008

Weird...
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 1:23 PM on February 4, 2008

I think the idea that obfuscated controls facilitate interest and challenge is extremely misguided.

I think it's a good idea in general, but here executed terribly.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:24 PM on February 4, 2008

goodnewsfortheinsane writes "I think it's a good idea in general, but here executed terribly."

Can you point me to a good example of it? Usually, I prefer the controls to be crystal clear (even simplistic) and the challenge to be in the gameplay itself. I'm thinking like Ico or Shadow of the Colossus or even Katamari Damacy. Or racing games, even. In general, I want to be able to get the controls into muscle memory quickly so that I can become really immersed in the game. Fiddling with the controls pulls me out of the game.
posted by mr_roboto at 8:59 PM on February 4, 2008

I enjoyed it as a mood piece.
posted by empath at 9:39 PM on February 4, 2008

Can you point me to a good example of it? Usually, I prefer the controls to be crystal clear (even simplistic) and the challenge to be in the gameplay itself. I'm thinking like Ico or Shadow of the Colossus or even Katamari Damacy. Or racing games, even. In general, I want to be able to get the controls into muscle memory quickly so that I can become really immersed in the game. Fiddling with the controls pulls me out of the game.

Your objection is a matter of framing/mindset/attitude as much as anything else. I think of the act of learning the controls as being part of the gameplay, a puzzle to be solved. You formulate hypotheses about cause and effect and test them. Myst sort of works like this. You pull a lever in one location then you have to hunt through the other locations to see how the world was affected by your action.
posted by juv3nal at 11:13 PM on February 4, 2008

That's not quite what I'm talking about. I like games where there's an obscure relationship between cause and effect that needs to be discovered: my problem is with games where the control mechanics are obscurely related to the game mechanics. Myst, for instance, has incredible straightforward control mechanics: a mouseclick elicits a response. There are no situations where you have to, for instance, rotate the pointer twice clockwise and then click in order to elicit a response. Or where clicking doesn't work, but doubleclicking works. The control mechanics are simple and consistent throughout the game.

Not so with the game linked in the FPP.
posted by mr_roboto at 11:28 PM on February 4, 2008

That's why I said it seemed largely a matter of attitude. You see a definite split between control mechanics and game mechanics. I think the control mechanics can be the game. The myst example wasn't meant so much to be an example of obfuscated controls that "works well," but just to draw out the parallel of how the two, although different, can both be considered forms of puzzle solving. If you want an actual example, the experience of playing warioware (before you've learned how each of the levels works) comes to mind.
posted by juv3nal at 11:37 PM on February 4, 2008

juv3nal writes "You see a definite split between control mechanics and game mechanics. I think the control mechanics can be the game."

We may just have to agree to disagree here. Then again, I haven't played Warioware, and I might find it illuminating.
posted by mr_roboto at 12:03 AM on February 5, 2008

Sorry about the late response, mr_roboto. I think we agree: there is a difference between "figure out how to interact" and "figure out how to interact (in an obscure manner)" and the crux does lay there for me, too. I may have picked Myst as an example, but you've illustrated expertly the above distinction.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:54 AM on February 5, 2008

Also, I hurt my wrist playing this. Any game that I need to hurt my wrist playing has to be *very* good to be worth it.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:55 AM on February 5, 2008