Comments on: The Most Frightening Sandwich In The World

The Most Frightening Sandwich In The World

scrump — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 13:55:43 -0800

Often described as Elvis's favorite sandwich, the Fool's Gold Loaf has to be seen to be believed. Not satisfied with mere still pictures? Try the video from this Spokesman-Review story. Even in its glory, though, the Fool's Gold Loaf is just one (three-pound) part of the Elvis gastronomen: if you want to eat like Elvis, the way is clear. And, of course, there are plenty of cookbooks.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:02:35 -0800

I am less frightened than aroused. Although that may give rise to secondary fright because I should not be so deeply moved by a sandwich.

By: joseph_elmhurst

joseph_elmhurst — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:03:15 -0800

I remember reading about this in Guralnick's book and thinking I *had* to have one. Five years later, I still haven't the nerve.

By: mrbill

mrbill — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:09:26 -0800

I could eat maybe a quarter of one of those, and it would have to be extra-chunky peanut butter. Then I'd want to go lie down for a while.

By: dubold

dubold — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:09:42 -0800

i need a blood thinner just thinking about it.

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:13:23 -0800

Added to list of "deadly foods I would like to try one day," right next to "Oki Dog."

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:16:05 -0800

My grandma raised me on strawberry preserves and bacon on toast, while harumphing over my weight. God Bless America.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:17:32 -0800

Why hasn't anyone deep fried the Fool's Gold loaf yet?

By: absalom

absalom — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:23:45 -0800

Serving Size: One Loaf *shudder* It's really hard for me to be pro-Elvis, but I sure do love me some stories about his insane notions of hospitality.

By: bstreep

bstreep — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:24:08 -0800

SILF?

By: horsemuth

horsemuth — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:29:26 -0800

hurf, durf foolsgoldloafeater

By: joseph_elmhurst

joseph_elmhurst — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:31:13 -0800

Okay, the "Oki Dog" looks amazing (and coronary-inducing). Closest I've come to that kind of protein/fat bliss is the All-American Burger at Stanich's - a cheeseburger with all the fixings, plus bacon, a fried egg and a fried slice of ham. I wasn't hungry for almost 48 hours after. Elvis would've eaten two and run a mile.

By: Pantengliopoli

Pantengliopoli — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:32:55 -0800

I could eat maybe a quarter of one of those, and it would have to be extra-chunky peanut butter. Because smooth peanut butter would be the ingredient that really put you off? Great post. I'm at once intrigued and queasy.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:40:31 -0800

SILF!

By: afx237vi

afx237vi — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:43:34 -0800

After watching the video, it doesn't look as bad as I had imagined. I could manage a slice. Although I'm kinda full up on pancakes already.

By: Unicorn on the cob

Unicorn on the cob — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:45:02 -0800

Excellent use of the lard tag.

By: L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg

L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:45:13 -0800

Oh, man. Oki Dog. They're terrible. I love them. May I quote myself?

There are a number of Oki Dog restaurants, but the only one I've been to is on Fairfax. It's a squat, shoddy structure that looks like a beach restroom painted pink but otherwise left to the mercy of the elements. There's nothing to recommend it from the outside, but it houses one of the most singular eating experiences of my life. Note here that "singular" is not a synonym for "good." The dish in question is the eponymous Oki Dog. It is massive and terrible to behold. Start with two hot dogs, boiled into rubbery submission, a corpse of a corpse. Add perfect squares of shining American cheese, and bury them in predigested-looking canned chili. Then, the pastrami. A slab of gristly pink pastrami joins the grease mound, and everything is wrapped in a massive tortilla, a tortilla upon which the face of Jesus will never appear. The face of Elvis, perhaps, but not Jesus. If someone could maneuver a punch down your throat and into your stomach, the experience would be something like eating an Oki Dog, provided your assailant's fist was sufficiently salted. The bundle of fat and low-grade protein simultaneously satisfies all appetite while insulting all aesthetics. I couldn't possibly explain why I eat these, any more than I can explain why they exist. Oki Dog calls to me as I cruise the freeway into LA. I don't think I could eat one anyone else in the world. A final note: the health department here assigns each restaurant a letter grade, which they are required by law to display prominently. Nearly every restaurant has a big reassuring "A" in the window. At Oki Dog? A slightly crumpled "B." I'm hoping they lost a grade simply by selling a food item so fatty the fumes could kill a gazelle at six paces.

By: digiFramph

digiFramph — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:50:22 -0800

Sadly, this is a double. Either way, ya gotta love the King.

By: kebnabi

kebnabi — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:52:53 -0800

I dunno -- I'm still partial to the fried peanut butter and banana sandwich. (I can't stand jelly.) Especially if it's spiked with chocolate sauce, as the King demonstrates here.

By: Bookhouse

Bookhouse — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:53:40 -0800

I thought this was a double. For some time I've been plotting a way to make this sandwich in a way that wouldn't be totally disgusting. I'm thinking a crusty French bread, strawberry preserves, just a few strips of center-cut bacon and only a scrim of peanut butter. No real butter.

By: friendlyjuan

friendlyjuan — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:53:57 -0800

As does anything with bacon, this sounds delicious. But I just wonder how I could live with myself after eating one. Seems to me that it would make all subsequent sandwiches pale in comparison. At only 27, I'm not sure that I could do that to myself. But someday, someday...

By: scrump

scrump — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:56:09 -0800

Well, damn. I thought I'd done my due diligence on this one. Sorry!

By: digiFramph

digiFramph — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:07:24 -0800

No need to be sorry, scrump. This is a much better post than the earlier one.

By: obvious

obvious — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:12:41 -0800

Even setting the calories aside, it sounds disgusting to me. Peanut butter and jelly are supposed to be eaten in thin layers. Just the thought of biting into something and getting a big mouthful of them makes my stomach churn. It's like eating a jar of mayonnaise.

By: A189Nut

A189Nut — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:16:45 -0800

Remind me, where and how did Elvis die....

By: Admiral Haddock

Admiral Haddock — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:27:55 -0800

What about the Luther Burger? I find that pretty frightening.

By: scrump

scrump — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:29:22 -0800

It's like eating a jar of mayonnaise.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

By: mr_book

mr_book — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:31:12 -0800

that sandwich looks amazing. i have to have one now. i think i'll go make it.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:50:10 -0800

I discovered a slightly less terrifying version of this last weekend. I had made myself breakfast. Nothing crazy--a couple rashers of bacon and some scrambled eggs. But about 20 minutes later, I realized I was still hungry. Specifically, I was hungry for a toasted peanut butter snadwich. And then I noticed the pan, still sitting on the stove, with rendered bacon fat sitting in it. (It was Sunday, it had only been 20 minutes since breakfast, I'd been enjoying my coffee, and oh yeah, I'm lazy about dishes). A thought occurred. I obediently listened to the voices in my head, and tossed two pieces of bread into the now-reheated pan for a quick grill. Then I spread the grilled sides with peanut butter (leaving the un-grilled sides on the outside of the sandwich--less grease on the hands). I think I inhaled it. I was forced to make another one, just so I could taste it properly. It was glorious. Creamy peanut butter, slight bit of grease, salty bacon flavour, all without what is for me a certain aversion to mixing peanut butter with actual bacon. You can bet your bippy I'll be doing that again.

By: Fennel B.

Fennel B. — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:00:03 -0800

I've always loved that Elvis Cuisine book and the idea flying to Denver to eat a loaf-sized sandwich. On a tangent: Just the other day, I made myself a grilled peanut butter w/banana and honey sandwich (not as decadent as DNAB's Sunday sandwich) and wondered why people get their nutritional panties in a bunch about it. Although it does have fat, it is mostly from the peanut butter (I use just a tiny bit of butter for the pan). Combined with the banana and whole wheat bread, it seems pretty nutritionally correct to me.

By: hal9k

hal9k — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:30:50 -0800

Remind me, where and how did Elvis die.... Where: Memphis. How: Bulimia. But he wasn't very good at it.

By: pupdog

pupdog — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:35:10 -0800

Peanut butter and jelly are supposed to be eaten in thin layers Heretic!

By: zardoz

zardoz — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:39:16 -0800

Sounds fantastic. My grandfather always ate bacon-and-jelly sandwiches, and as a kid I eagerly picked up the habit. I dunno about the peanut butter, though, could be a mismatch.

By: porpoise

porpoise — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:43:02 -0800

dirtynumbangelboy - you need to try making French Toast (1 medium egg/slice of normal sized & thickness bread) in bacon grease. Serve with maple syrup. Optionally, top with Nutella (instead? of syrup).

By: hifiparasol

hifiparasol — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:43:59 -0800

You can bet your bippy I'll be doing that again. My bippy is the one thing I never gamble with. I lost it once in a poker game and getting it back was a nightmare. Also, I'm making this peanut-butter-fried-in-bacon-fat sandwich this weekend. And I'm going to eat it with a bottle of beer, while watching The Simpsons and laughing with my mouth full, and my girlfriend can roll her eyes all she wants, because this is what men do.

By: asok

asok — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:50:44 -0800

Would this ever be good food nutritionally? Could there possibly be a time when this calorific overdose would be useful? How does it compare to whale blubber? I suppose the crispyness of the bacon might compensate for the smooth peanut butter. Now I am in two minds about whether cruncy peanut butter would be better. Hm.

By: jquinby

jquinby — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:53:34 -0800

Baby-steps, folks. Start off with another of the King's favorites: the fried peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich. My memory on this is hazy, but I think the way I made it was to make a regular peanut-butter and banana sandwich, them butter the outside of it and do it in the frying pan like a grilled cheese. Bless'a mah soul! Burnin' love, indeed.

By: Devils Slide

Devils Slide — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:54:51 -0800

The version I heard about is close to what kebnobi and Fennel B. described; peanut butter, honey, bananas, and here's the key ingredient that they didn't mention: bacon, of course. I think if I smoke three fatties by myself I'd actually enjoy a few bites of said sandwich.

By: mrzarquon

mrzarquon — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:56:32 -0800

I have to post this here, if just for the sake that I know this audience will appreciate it: My friends discovery of the joys of Bacon flavored Salt And yes, it is fantastic.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:28:04 -0800

I had the peanut butter/banana/bacon on toast version a few times. It was good.

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:58:50 -0800

I love me a peanut butter, jelly, and banana sammich. I don't fry it. I don't add bacon. I use thin layers of PB & J cuz I wanna taste it I don't wanna drown in it. A PBJ & banana sammich is what I call a comfort food. It's rooted well into my childhood. It's like eating a security blanket. Don't git me wrong. I'm a big guy. I've bellied up to the all you can eat buffets of my life on multiple occasions. A whole loaf of PBJ & bacon??? Oh that's just so wrong on so many levels. I now have cause to despise the ghost of Elvis: how dare he do that to poor defenseless peanut butters?

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:04:11 -0800

dirtynumbangelboy - you need to try making French Toast (1 medium egg/slice of normal sized & thickness bread) in bacon grease. Serve with maple syrup. Beat you by several years.. I do that for regular french toast. But I usually prefer to make mine stuffed with brie & fruit; bacon would be a bit much for it.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:05:06 -0800

I'd like to see E with the Memphis mafia in a Diner Col Tom: You gonna eat that? E: Yeah, man. I ordered it. Awright. ...Why, you want some? Col Tom: Naw son. Just...you're not eatin' it. E: If you want the sammich man, I'll give ya sum. Just gotta say it. etc.

By: Jay Reimenschneider

Jay Reimenschneider — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:34:44 -0800

I just wonder how I could live with myself after eating one Chase it with a few of these and you'll be fine. Avoid these if you are allergic to shellfish, however.

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:38:29 -0800

I ate an entire jar of Laura Scudders Natural Peanut Butter ("Peanuts and salt. Nothing else.") every day at lunch 5 days a week from 1987 to 1990. It was my grad school staple. Cheap! Filling! Protein-y goodness! Good times!

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 19:03:49 -0800

Wow. I love Laura Scudders. You make me feel much less guilty for going for a spoonful late at night now and then. You must be quite the shitter adept.

By: zap rowsdower

zap rowsdower — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 20:06:20 -0800

MMM...bacon...MMM

By: Ynoxas

Ynoxas — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:02:19 -0800

PB&J's are delicious. Bacon sandwiches are delicious. The two together? Not so much, in my head. In fact, ewwwww. Also, the fried peanut butter, honey, and banana sandwich is perfectly tasty. A BBQ joint in a nearby town has them on the menu.

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:09:02 -0800

Remind me, where and how did Elvis die.... On the terlit, just too fuckin' awesome to live.

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:21:11 -0800

On the terlit* Only certain parts of Jersey City, South Brooklyn, South Philly, Delaware, Baltimore and the Algiers and Irish Channel sections of New Orleans need to actually recognize this phonetic pronunciation.

By: scrump

scrump — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:25:43 -0800

Divine_Wino, are those the same states that warsh their hands and dishes?

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:31:10 -0800

Betcher ass.

By: danb

danb — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:34:55 -0800

I wonder if the Fool's Gold Load ever showed up on that blog about death row inmates' last meal requests.

By: porpoise

porpoise — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:01:32 -0800

How do you stuff French toast - two layers? bacon would be a bit much for it. Blasphemy,

By: obvious

obvious — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:08:08 -0800

It's like eating a jar of mayonnaise. You say that like it's a bad thing. I'll admit I've never tried it.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:40:22 -0800

42,000 calories. That's enough calories for 21 days. Well, it might be good to remember in case you have to go without food for three weeks. And, you know, if you can eat a whole loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter and jelly, plus a pound of bacon in one sitting.

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:44:37 -0800

One of the best variations is peanut butter and dill pickle. I usually eat natural peanut butter now and haven't tried the sandwich since I was a kid, but as a kid it was always the typical sweetened peanut butter. It's pretty good.

By: zardoz

zardoz — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:36:22 -0800

***It's like eating a jar of mayonnaise. **You say that like it's a bad thing. *I'll admit I've never tried it. If you've never had Japanese Kewpie mayonnaise, you're truly missing out. People I've known who detest mayonnaise absolutely love Kewpie.

By: 445supermag

445supermag — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 05:41:17 -0800

Divine_Wino, are those the same states that warsh their hands and dishes? Yes, in the zinc, with wudder.

By: BozoBurgerBonanza

BozoBurgerBonanza — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 06:46:01 -0800

It's like eating a jar of mayonnaise. One jar?? Amateurs

By: L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg

L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 09:51:55 -0800

Three pounds of sugar comes to about 4800 calories. Three pounds of pure lard comes to about 12,000 calories. A Fool's Gold Loaf does not contain 42,000 calories.

By: RokkitNite

RokkitNite — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 14:11:52 -0800

I've just gone out and purchased the ingredients for a Fool's Gold Loaf 'Lite'. I'm prepping up my stomach as we speak. I've got to make sure I eat the whole thing. No man gets left behind!

By: scrump

scrump — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:01:40 -0800

Define "lite".

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:05:53 -0800

It's a bastardization of "light", scrump.

By: RokkitNite

RokkitNite — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 18:51:14 -0800

Okay. I got a crusty foot-long panino (which I believe is the correct singular of 'panini'), slathered it in butter and stuck it in the oven, then I cooked a pack of bacon (half a dozen rashers), took the panino out the oven, slit it in half, covered one side with peanut butter (about a third of a jar) the other side with strawberry jam (again, about a third of a jar), laid the bacon out down its length, stuck the whole thing together and ate it. In my head, I was busily composing a shortlist of hyperbolic synomyms for 'greasy', 'fatty' and 'repugnant' - so it was mildly disappointing to discover that the Fool's Gold Loaf Lite is eminently edible. Even more so than a bacon sandwich, in fact. I chewed my first mouthful, and tried to figure out what the combination of flavours tasted like. The weird truth is, the combination of bread, butter, bacon, peanut butter and jam ends up tasting like nothing in particular. It's all, to coin a phrase, very much of a muchness. Somehow, the flavours conspire to cancel each other out - the saltiness of the bacon kills off the pecin-rich strawberry jam, the peanut butter swamps the bacon, reducing it to pure texture, the combined heat of the bacon and toasted bread liquify the peanut butter, which ends up being absorbed into the porous bread, and the bread is overwhelmed by its fatty contents. It's like the endgame of Mutually Assured Destruction in a single sandwich. The scariest thing is, it's not hard to eat at all. I powered through mine, even though it was hanging off either side of the plate and I wasn't even hungry, having polished off some chocolate, a bottle of Dr Pepper and a bag of McCoys just half an hour earlier. It wasn't until the last few mouthfuls that I began to feel queasy, and not until some twenty minutes after I'd finished that the headache started. At the time of writing, my gut hurts, and I feel a restlessness in my colon which can only presage an evening of traumatic, sink-clenching bowel evacuations. All in all, I'm afraid I can only award the Fool's Gold Loaf Lite two Elvises out of a possible five. I will not be constructing or eating one again, and I cannot recommend in good conscience that you attempt to either. Perhaps this is my penance for not going the whole nine yards and eating a proper, non-Lite one.

By: scrump

scrump — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 06:50:02 -0800

I think we all owe RokkitNite a debt of gratitude for, as it were, taking one for the team. WELL ~~PLAYED~~ EATEN, SIR

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 11:47:41 -0800

MetaFilter: two Elvises out of a possible five. That is the awesomest gustatory thread followup ever. Pardon me, EVAR.

By: LeeJay

LeeJay — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 15:00:30 -0800

I wouldn't (couldn't) eat that sammich but bacon is always better with something a little sweet to offset it. I like my BLTs with a tiny bit of maple syrup drizzled over them.