Comments on: Loser gets creamed

Loser gets creamed

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 12:35:03 -0800

The Belgian version of Russian roulette.

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 12:42:23 -0800

Cream my face, mom.

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 12:43:50 -0800

I'm not really proud, but the conversation was eventually going to end up there anyway.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 12:45:12 -0800

Someone had to set the dialectic early on anyways.

By: doctor_negative

doctor_negative — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 12:47:51 -0800

Shouldn't this involve waffles?

By: Baud

Baud — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 12:49:01 -0800

why "belgian" ? Is "belgian" a punchbag/scapegoat nationality ? I'm asking this because... I'm belgian. (Well... I am right now. The way things are going in this country, I may get a new nationality it a few years...)

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 12:52:50 -0800

Sorry, Baud, I mentioned Belgian in honor of Noel Godin. No offense meant.

By: puke & cry

puke & cry — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 12:57:06 -0800

Needs a facefullofgoo tag.

By: monospace

monospace — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:00:11 -0800

Is "belgian" a punchbag/scapegoat nationality ?

It is, to the Dutch.

I'm asking this because... I'm belgian.

Well, I am Dutch.

By: unSane

unSane — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:01:14 -0800

Buck-cake!

By: unSane

unSane — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:02:19 -0800

I was trying to meld Buckaroo and Bukkake.

By: JimmyJames

JimmyJames — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:02:55 -0800

It's the way he says "Fills your face full of GOO!" that sent a shiver down my spine.

By: XMLicious

XMLicious — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:03:45 -0800

Entarteur is my new favorite French word. I'm disappointed that Éclaireur means something entirely different.

By: InfidelZombie

InfidelZombie — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:04:28 -0800

But in the end we settled on three choices: number three ... the Sprouts, sent in by Mrs Vicious of Hastings... very nice ; number two..... the Phlegms... from Mrs Childmolester of Worthing; but the winner was undoubtedly from Mrs No-Supper-For-You from Norwood in Lancashire... Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards.

By: tepidmonkey

tepidmonkey — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:06:09 -0800

IT'S PIE FACE

By: JimmyJames

JimmyJames — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:06:52 -0800

Shouldn't this involve waffles? See, a Belgian waffle to the face would be excellent. Not tragic and wrong, which is the theme of the game.

By: jouke

jouke — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:16:04 -0800

Hey Baud, don't worry about the possibility of Belgium breaking up. We'll just go back to how things were in 1579 where Holland and Belgium were called the Federation of the Netherlands aka Belgica Foederata. Get it? Historically Belgium and the Netherlands are different words for the same thing! But what do we do with our monarchies?

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:17:16 -0800

This is simultaneously a waste of pie and an opportunity to punch a Belgian in the face.

By: everichon

everichon — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:21:45 -0800

Flagged as most obscene word in the universe.

By: everichon

everichon — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:22:41 -0800

Also, pls to be shutting up about waffles, cos now I need some, and I have no chance of wafflage in the near future.

By: jouke

jouke — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:24:24 -0800

Hey puny bagel, back away from Baud, my fellow Belgian/Netherlander! Yay, ethnic feuds on metafilter! (see the funny lamest wikipedia edit wars that was linked in the recent wikipedia cult thread for the flaming power of ethnic historical differences.)

By: McSly

McSly — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:24:46 -0800

monospace: "Is "belgian" a punchbag/scapegoat nationality ?
It is, to the Dutch.
I'm asking this because... I'm belgian.
Well, I am Dutch." It is, to the French as well. And well, I am French.

By: quarsan

quarsan — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:26:53 -0800

I'm English and I'm in Belgium - whilst it still exists. But I've seen something like that video often her, but with plates of frites.

By: chimaera

chimaera — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:33:19 -0800

Does not one have to be packing a waffle iron to play Belgian Roulette?

By: hellslinger

hellslinger — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:36:14 -0800

HAHAHA, what a great game.

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:38:08 -0800

Hey puny bagel, back away from Baud, my fellow Belgian/Netherlander! The Belgian I was referring to was the kid in the video. That kid strikes me as an asshole. All smiley because he got a new toy. Well, fuck you, you ratfaced little shit. Some of us didn't have fancy Pie Face toys growing up, okay? We didn't have a governess to supervise our play and keep happy simles on our happy Pie Faces. Our version of Pie Face was called You Shut Up About My Mom and we played it with our dads' empty bottles of Milwaukee's Best. Ah, memories...

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:41:48 -0800

As long as we can all agree that we hate the fucking Danes.

By: anthill

anthill — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:44:27 -0800

Fun for you... or grown-ups too!

By: jouke

jouke — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:49:50 -0800

I agree Ambrosia, the smaller the country the more hateful its inhabitants. Those awful Luxembourgers with their vulgar sounding Lëtzebuergesch language.

By: CKmtl

CKmtl — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:55:02 -0800

What?! Don't tell me you're siding with those pansy Dutch van Houtens, AV. One phone call, and I'll have all of Solvang at your doorstep. Don't make me do it.

By: jouke

jouke — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:02:56 -0800

Heh, pansy Dutch? We're the tallest on the face of this earth. So what are you measly handful of Danes gonna do about it? Yay, metafilter brawl! Another round of beer here please.

By: Floydd

Floydd — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:05:40 -0800

What could have been a nice intellectual discussion on the merits of the posted video has devolved into yet another wankfest of Dane dissing, Flem flinging and Belgian bashing. I blame the goddamn Dutch.

By: kuujjuarapik

kuujjuarapik — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:06:39 -0800

AAAAAAGH! LYE FACE! didn't you read the directions?

By: everichon

everichon — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:09:14 -0800

Also: Fuck the Phegmish, nawmean?

By: everichon

everichon — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:09:41 -0800

Er, "Phlegmish". Alllllmost time to go home.

By: jouke

jouke — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:11:58 -0800

I agree Floydd, that video is rife with intellectual discussion fodder. Were is the quiet sport on the internet where you can seriously discuss the finer points of goo being flung in smiling childrens faces with rigour? But here? Nothing but derails.

By: Bovine Love

Bovine Love — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:14:48 -0800

Belgium: The new Texas

By: cortex

cortex — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:20:05 -0800

I gotta say, watching the video? I thought of nothing before Don't Wizz on the Electric Fence. Bonus: Swede. Metafilter: Fuck the Phegmish.

By: CKmtl

CKmtl — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:25:04 -0800

the smaller the country the more hateful its inhabitants *checks Wikipedia* Indeed. Netherlands - Area 41,526 km² (18.41% water) Denmark - Area 43,094 km² (1.6% water) We're the tallest on the face of this earth. You'd have to be, to keep your heads above water. It also makes you gangly bastards easier to knock over, high centre of gravity and all that. So what are you measly handful of Danes gonna do about it? You know all those redundant Dutch vowels? Those weren't originally part of the language... they got there by the Dutch constantly shaking in their clogs and stuttering in fear of our dreaded Viking marauders. Now, are we going to lay off the trashtalk and go after the real problem? Those dirty Swedes need a seeing-to.

By: Clave

Clave — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:30:32 -0800

Well now, the result of last week's competition when we asked you to find a derogatory term for the Belgians. Well, the response was enormous and we took quite a long time sorting out the winners. There were some very clever entries. Mrs Hatred of Leicester Said 'let's not call them anything, let's just ignore them' ... (applause starts vigorously, but he holds his hands up for silence) ...and a Mr St John of Huntingdon said he couldn't think of anything more derogatory than "Belgians." (cheers and applause) But in the end we settled on three choices: number three ... the Sprouts, sent in by Mrs Vicious of Hastings... very nice ; number two..... the Phlegms ... from Mrs Childmolester of Worthing; but the winner was undoubtedly from Mrs No-Supper-For-You from Norwood in Lancashire... Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards. (roar of applause) Python's PREJUDICE

By: psmith

psmith — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:32:07 -0800

In Belgium they speak Belsh. I heard.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:43:03 -0800

Shouldn't this involve waffles? My gut says maybe.

By: doctor_negative

doctor_negative — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:46:56 -0800

Monty Python weren't fond of Belgians either

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:56:15 -0800

Let's go global with this: Millimetres matter, miniature entarteurage. Tortenschlacht, Germans cream each other. Pudding Wrestling. Clown College Reunion

By: Abiezer

Abiezer — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:59:08 -0800

what do we do with our monarchies The traditional solution to a surfeit of monarchs was beheading, of course, but make sure you go the French way and get the lot, rather than our cack-handed English attempt which let the heir escape only to come back later. Possibly a touch harsh on the modern mainland European models, who all seem to be cheery bicycle-riding social workers rather than the despots of yore. But as keen upholders of anachronism themselves, I'm sure they'd agree that the chop is only what proper form demands.

By: caddis

caddis — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 15:03:56 -0800

that was funny

By: slogger

slogger — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 15:27:56 -0800

And here I was thinking it would be something about beer. What a let down. Can somebody over there send me a bottle of Westvleteren, pleasepleaseplease?

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 15:30:42 -0800

The Canadian Version_[mp3] of Russian Roulette

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 15:37:42 -0800

Is "belgian" a punchbag/scapegoat nationality ? It is, to the Dutch. Also to the French. Telling a joke there with a Belgian accent is something like an American using a hillbilly accent.

By: lattiboy

lattiboy — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 15:43:42 -0800

Petty regional animosity is the one thing that lets me know everybody is pretty much exactly the fucking same.

By: meeshell

meeshell — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 15:53:11 -0800

I'm married to a Belgian.... I haven't decided if I'm proud of that or not....does it make it any better that he's Flemish and not French?

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 15:53:56 -0800

Best part about any toy is modifying it to the naturally sadistic tendencies of children and the possibilities for fun with this little honey are endless: Rock face, frog face. ants face. spit face, mustard face, ketchup face (that would be fun!! Yum!), worm face, sharpened pencil face, fork face, knife face, fire face, glass face, dog shit face, human shit face, beer face, soda face, gerbals face, hamster face, goldfish face, draino face, bleach face, ammonia face, ajax face, Raid face, oil face, antifreeze face....etc..etc.. Fisher Price needs to jump on this and get out the waterboarding for preschoolers playset.

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 15:55:32 -0800

Honest, I thought that was a fun game Blazecock. Deliciously messy. Just the kind of thing kids really like but parents would rather not buy. Like a backyard water slide or an Ooey-gooey Gummy Maker Makes 30 Edible Bug Creations. Always amused me that Belgian-French-Dutch-German-Flemish-Luxembourgeois animosity. Kind of like Manhattanites' snobbery in talking about people a couple of miles away the "Tunnel and Bridge" crowd. Oh puleez. In Belgium there are two types of waffles (or gauffres as we like to call them): [recipes]the Brussels and the Liege waffle. The Brussels is rectangular in shape with a golden-brown exterior, deep divots and is usually eaten with a knife and fork. Brussels waffles are served with a variety of toppings such as powdered sugar, whipped cream, ice cream, strawberries and chocolate. The Liege waffle is golden-yellow, more dense in texture and has a burned sugar coating on the outside giving it a lightly sweet flavor. This hand-held waffle is sold by street vendors all over Belgium.

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 16:05:26 -0800

I'll take a Belgian over a French person or a Dane, any day of the week. French people have a stick up their butts and Danes well, I don't know. What can you say about a country that thinks Lenny kravitz is the best thing since Elvis. Also, Tuborg is overrated. Now the Belgians and beer...that's another story entirely. You know physics the science? Well the Belgians they split atoms with their beers...

By: quarsan

quarsan — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 17:01:50 -0800

Come the separation, I'm not exactly looking forwards to being ruled by the Vlams Belang...

By: obiwanwasabi

obiwanwasabi — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 17:06:12 -0800

I thought a Dutchman was just a Belgian who didn't know how to brew decent beer.

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 17:53:15 -0800

Well they've got 56 varieties of hash brownie to make up for it. Heiniken? F--K that sh1t!! PABST BLUE RIBBON!!

By: Tube

Tube — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:52:33 -0800

After a successful round of "Pie Face", the kids move on to "Alabama Man".

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:57:06 -0800

Fisher Price needs to jump on this and get out the waterboarding for preschoolers playset. It's called a sprinkler.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 22:44:04 -0800

*Is torn between his French and Belgian heritages until he realizes he's Canadian and therefore is dead inside anyway*

By: atrazine

atrazine — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 06:52:16 -0800

Heiniken? F--K that sh1t!! PABST BLUE RIBBON!! The analogous Dutch beer is Hollandia.

By: jfuller

jfuller — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 07:54:00 -0800

> Petty regional animosity is the one thing that lets me know everybody is pretty much exactly the fucking same and the future will be pretty much exactly like the past.

By: Admiral Haddock

Admiral Haddock — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 08:46:38 -0800

Let's not forget the Oozinator.

By: Admiral Haddock

Admiral Haddock — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 08:48:10 -0800

Sorry, that link went to a comment in the Oozinator thread. Here's the top.

By: jouke

jouke — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 09:53:48 -0800

Abiezer The traditional solution to a surfeit of monarchs was beheading Yes. That's the proper old form. They'll appreciate that. We could also show their bodies to the public. Heads on spikes and stuff. But maybe a fight to the death between both royal families would be more suitable to the modern times of reality tv. It would be broadcast on television. May the best royal family win.

By: Samizdata

Samizdata — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 11:03:05 -0800

One question... In Russian Roulette, isn't there supposed to be a chance of NOT getting shot? No one seemed to remain uncreamed in the commercial.

By: CKmtl

CKmtl — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 11:13:59 -0800

The game itself has that sort of chance factor in it. Spin the spinner to see how many times you have to crank your pie-handlebars. After N cranks... Splat! Whoever is the last to remain uncreamed wins, I guess.

By: IndigoJones

IndigoJones — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 11:49:05 -0800

Telling a joke there with a Belgian accent is something like an American using a hillbilly accent. It features as an off hand joke in The Dinner Game where the protagonist is at one point supposed to phone someone anonymously and suggests he do it in a comic Belgian accent. (Which is a major derail, but I liked the movie and rarely have a chance to plug it.)