When spray-on tans attack.

February 9, 2008 1:04 AM

New Jersey Freakshows. Or, "Why white boys should stick to being white."
posted by bwg (35 comments total)

Sorry, forgot the "slightly NSFW" warning for a sidebar ad.
posted by bwg at 1:05 AM on February 9, 2008

Again with the oompa loompas?
posted by Bonzai at 1:09 AM on February 9, 2008

I think these are hilarious but severely depressing at the same time. I don't know if this would be considered a double though.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 1:11 AM on February 9, 2008

What the hell?
posted by Happy Dave at 1:13 AM on February 9, 2008

Again with the oompa loompas?

Againpa-dee dainpadee-doo.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:14 AM on February 9, 2008

Missing tag: Fark

And that's one small snark for a man, and one giant snark for mankind.
posted by loquacious at 1:16 AM on February 9, 2008 [1 favorite]

Blue Steel!
posted by emelenjr at 1:17 AM on February 9, 2008 [1 favorite]

Last time, in spectacular guido-vision.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:18 AM on February 9, 2008

LOLGUIDOS
posted by deadmessenger at 1:30 AM on February 9, 2008

I really love these photos, they make me laugh every time I see them, but maybe it's a bit much lately, I seem to remember these have popped up on MetaFilter several times in the last few months.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 1:41 AM on February 9, 2008

WHAT COLOR IS THE GUIDO? GOLD? NO! BROWN? NO! RED? NO! THE ANSWER IS TAWNY.

Remember when a bomb would accidentally go off in a Wile E. Coyote's hands, how he would stand there for a few seconds, blinking through the soot, and with his ears and fur spiked backwards?

Sometimes fashion does that.
posted by Benjamin Nushmutt at 1:58 AM on February 9, 2008 [9 favorites]

OK so yeah, we laugh, but- can someone explain this to me? Do people really do this to themselves? Why? What is the segment of society that actually finds deep orange tans and ridiculous hair and frowning in photos cool? I can't think of any dumb fad we were into as teenagers that even approached looking this ridiculous.
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 2:00 AM on February 9, 2008

What is the segment of society that actually finds deep orange tans and ridiculous hair and frowning in photos cool?

Ganguro?
posted by mumkin at 2:13 AM on February 9, 2008 [1 favorite]

Ah, so that's where I saw that one pic before.

Sorry 'bout that, folks, but technically it's not a double; the URL didn't pop up on search.

For all who snark, admit it, you love these pics.

Because they're not you.

Also, Oompa Loopma tag added.
posted by bwg at 2:53 AM on February 9, 2008

Yeah, this is pretty old on mefi by now.
posted by jouke at 2:56 AM on February 9, 2008

Fuggedabahdit
posted by Flashman at 3:05 AM on February 9, 2008

I remember when most of these pics made the rounds back in late-2005. I even made a little youtube PSA* about it (2.6mil views and growing).

Now, it seems every few months a new crop of people come across this group/style and the links pop up all over the place.

On the plus side - those links usually end up leading to aforementioned video. So, that's kinda neat.

But yeah, this is hardly MeFi-worthy.

you can search my MeFi username on there and add "PSA" if you're really curious.
posted by revmitcz at 3:22 AM on February 9, 2008

That's funny revmitcz, I've actually seen that video before. Loved it!
posted by MaryDellamorte at 3:37 AM on February 9, 2008

Has anybody come across any information about the kids in these pictures? They seem to be getting Internet famous. Are there any myspace/facebook profiles we can go to and leave insulting comments recommendations for NJ dermatologists?
posted by chillmost at 3:48 AM on February 9, 2008

Yeah, yeah double and all that. I am FASCINATED by these dudes (I've occasionally seen them in the wild, wandering around lost in Manhattan late at night, they're exactly as aggressive and easily confused as you'd imagine) and the thing that I am particularly stuck on is that the girls are not a part of it. It's dudes only. Freaky tweezed eyebrow, hair gel addicted, orange weirdos (who are for sure jocky dickheads) and their perfectly normal girlfriends (Oh my god sara, Josh is so orange today!). It's like the make-a-wish foundation cashed in all their chips and paid these girls to go to the prom with them because they're all about to die from Aquanet poisoning. Fantastic.
posted by Divine_Wino at 3:50 AM on February 9, 2008 [4 favorites]

These guys have nothing on the swarthy Germans of Pennsylvania.
posted by afu at 3:52 AM on February 9, 2008

If these guys were indigenous to the rain forest of Papua New Guinea, then we'd be marveling at their unique cultural heritage.

I can't think of any dumb fad we were into as teenagers that even approached looking this ridiculous.

Think harder.
posted by recurve at 4:01 AM on February 9, 2008 [3 favorites]

So what's the deal with their pout? Are they trying to fatten their lips up, in a misguided belief that it will make them appear even blacker? Or maybe they're simply a bunch of Ganguro transvestites?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:06 AM on February 9, 2008

I was going to mention Ganguro girls as well. LOL. I'd seen pictures of these kinds of guys before but I've never seen them so orange.
posted by delmoi at 4:45 AM on February 9, 2008

Since when is getting a (horrible) tan trying to be black?
posted by afu at 4:51 AM on February 9, 2008

I think these dudes have cousins in every large English-speaking city.
posted by generichuman at 5:09 AM on February 9, 2008

the thing that I am particularly stuck on is that the girls are not a part of it. It's dudes only. Freaky tweezed eyebrow, hair gel addicted, orange weirdos (who are for sure jocky dickheads) and their perfectly normal girlfriends

Man, that begs the question, don't it?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:11 AM on February 9, 2008

This is a dumb post. And I second afu's question: "Since when is getting a (horrible) tan trying to be black?" If you're going to make a stale or ignorant post, at least don't conflate your ignorances. We're supposed be like LOLGUIDOS because of the way these guys tan, cut their hair, pose in photos and generally life their lives, right? That's already asking a lot when this isn't Fark or Something Awful. Don't conflate that with race stuff. Doesn't work.
posted by sneakin at 5:22 AM on February 9, 2008

oooooOOOOOooooo that made me feel funny.
posted by tarantula at 5:43 AM on February 9, 2008

WTF is this? I saw this originally and thought it was some sort of blackface. I, I dunno
posted by Chocomog at 5:53 AM on February 9, 2008

If the internet had existed in the 50's, we would have had this conversation about the "hoods" in the tight jeans and leather jackets, in the 60's we would have talked about those girly-boys with the Beatles haircuts... I would go farther but I stopped paying attention in about '69 or so... but you can bet there's a group for each decade (or even each year)

let 'em be, ya'll are sound like old people!
posted by HuronBob at 6:01 AM on February 9, 2008

This has been emailed to me thrice in the last two months. These fellas are just grasping for anything to make their pathetic future mean something. Go hang on the Jersey shore on a Friday or Saturday night, and this will not surprise you.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:06 AM on February 9, 2008

Man, that begs the question, don't it?

Does it? I have never been able to figure that phrase out. Maybe if I put on some more man tan.

I don't think it's a want to look black thing BTW, just a weird kind of appearance dysmorphia where they don't think they look like oompa-loompas.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:08 AM on February 9, 2008

To be fair, the original poster said nothing about trying to be black, just trying not to be white (in this case, I suppose, trying to be burnt orange).
posted by dirigibleman at 6:12 AM on February 9, 2008

As the father of two young girls, those pictures haunt my dreams.
posted by popechunk at 6:22 AM on February 9, 2008