Possibly the best Craigslist post ever
February 13, 2008 4:30 PM Subscribe
Sorry but this just screams "spec work" to me.
posted by fire&wings at 4:33 PM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by fire&wings at 4:33 PM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]
This is just a straightforward, funny single-link post, for fuck's sake. Just click on the fucking link and have a laugh. I'm tired of hearing all your oh-so-cooler-than-thou bullshit comments. Stop wasting my time with all this fucking snark.
posted by chrismear at 4:37 PM on February 13, 2008 [84 favorites]
posted by chrismear at 4:37 PM on February 13, 2008 [84 favorites]
My fave Craigslist post:
Straight male seeks Bush supporter for fair, physical fight - m4m
I would like to fight a Bush supporter to vent my anger. If you are one, have a fiery streek, please contact me so we can meet and physically fight. I would like to beat the shit out of you.
posted by Poolio at 4:37 PM on February 13, 2008 [43 favorites]
Straight male seeks Bush supporter for fair, physical fight - m4m
I would like to fight a Bush supporter to vent my anger. If you are one, have a fiery streek, please contact me so we can meet and physically fight. I would like to beat the shit out of you.
posted by Poolio at 4:37 PM on February 13, 2008 [43 favorites]
This is just a straightforward, funny single-link post, for fuck's sake.
Well...
posted by dersins at 4:41 PM on February 13, 2008
Well...
posted by dersins at 4:41 PM on February 13, 2008
WIFE WANTED.
MUST BE ABLE TO COOK, CLEAN, AND GUT FISH.
MUST HAVE OWN BOAT.
PLEASE SEND PICTURE OF BOAT AND MOTOR.
posted by katillathehun at 4:42 PM on February 13, 2008
MUST BE ABLE TO COOK, CLEAN, AND GUT FISH.
MUST HAVE OWN BOAT.
PLEASE SEND PICTURE OF BOAT AND MOTOR.
posted by katillathehun at 4:42 PM on February 13, 2008
Probably not the 'best Craiglist post EVAR', but this is my favourite.
posted by KokuRyu at 4:42 PM on February 13, 2008 [5 favorites]
posted by KokuRyu at 4:42 PM on February 13, 2008 [5 favorites]
KokuRyu: RMS looks like quite a catch, doesn't he?
posted by killdevil at 4:54 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by killdevil at 4:54 PM on February 13, 2008
olol, a guy saying fuck.
posted by fire&wings at 4:56 PM on February 13, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by fire&wings at 4:56 PM on February 13, 2008 [2 favorites]
The next one of you fucking jackasses that emails me with some sob-story bullshit is getting his email address added to the North American Man/Boy Love Association mailing list.
Kinda makes you wonder how exactly he has access to said mailing list...
posted by Afroblanco at 4:57 PM on February 13, 2008
Kinda makes you wonder how exactly he has access to said mailing list...
posted by Afroblanco at 4:57 PM on February 13, 2008
KokoRyu, I bet that guy loves to eat pussy. Sometimes you can just tell.
posted by Falconetti at 4:58 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by Falconetti at 4:58 PM on February 13, 2008
Is it August already, rokusan? Sheeeeeeee-at, this is some pretty fucked up weather for August.
posted by Brocktoon at 4:59 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by Brocktoon at 4:59 PM on February 13, 2008
decent discount - [poor salesmanship * snarky attitude]
= trip to local Home Depot to buy cinder blocks instead
posted by spoobnooble at 5:05 PM on February 13, 2008
= trip to local Home Depot to buy cinder blocks instead
posted by spoobnooble at 5:05 PM on February 13, 2008
That was pretty awesome but in my book the hands down best CL post is "Hey Crackhead." Even though it's been 4 years now, I still haven't seen anything funnier.
posted by mosspink at 5:07 PM on February 13, 2008 [49 favorites]
posted by mosspink at 5:07 PM on February 13, 2008 [49 favorites]
So if I get the cinderblocks without attitude, is that more or less than a dollar?
posted by dhartung at 5:13 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by dhartung at 5:13 PM on February 13, 2008
oh man, that survival of the fittest link has been around for years, possibly decades. i'm pretty sure it was on rec.humor.funny back before the web was cool.
posted by rmd1023 at 5:20 PM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by rmd1023 at 5:20 PM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]
That crackhead link was way funnier than a guy saying "fuck" a whole lot.
posted by patr1ck at 5:21 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by patr1ck at 5:21 PM on February 13, 2008
That guy should keep the blocks and make himself a fucking vault for his bountiful apathy.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 5:26 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by kuujjuarapik at 5:26 PM on February 13, 2008
I actually own a ton of those cinder blocks, they support all the available shelving in my apartment, and I've been wondering what I'll do with them when I move. Will this guy take them off my hands?
posted by Science! at 5:32 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by Science! at 5:32 PM on February 13, 2008
How does he have the NAMBLA mailing list details?
I chuckled.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:32 PM on February 13, 2008
I chuckled.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:32 PM on February 13, 2008
If we're descending into a Best-of-CL list, I submit my vote [NSFW-text].
posted by TomStampy at 5:47 PM on February 13, 2008 [4 favorites]
posted by TomStampy at 5:47 PM on February 13, 2008 [4 favorites]
I've long enjoyed the Best of Craigslist. But what the hell is with the posts people write about taking a dump that consistently get voted best? What the hell is that shit?
posted by grouse at 5:58 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by grouse at 5:58 PM on February 13, 2008
This thread is slowly becoming the best of MetaFilter.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 6:03 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by SeizeTheDay at 6:03 PM on February 13, 2008
It's not nuanced humor, certainly. But for what it is, I think this is a pretty amusing example. Better read in the voice of Al Swearingen.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 6:31 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 6:31 PM on February 13, 2008
I would like this Craigslist post a lot more if I didn't really need some cinder blocks about now. As it stands, I just feel like the internet is taunting me.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 6:43 PM on February 13, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by solipsophistocracy at 6:43 PM on February 13, 2008 [2 favorites]
If he were a professional, he'd just call it "block" instead of "cinder block".
posted by Slothrup at 6:48 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by Slothrup at 6:48 PM on February 13, 2008
i'm pretty sure it was on rec.humor.funny back before the web was cool.
Bullshit. The web was never cool.
posted by rokusan at 6:52 PM on February 13, 2008
Bullshit. The web was never cool.
posted by rokusan at 6:52 PM on February 13, 2008
My favorite CL post ever was deleted. It was by a Goldman Sachs employee whose bonus last year was $750k and whose GF dumped him several weeks before Christmas. He was looking for (temporary) loving in his high-priced condo. Kind of on the line between humor and pathos.
posted by A dead Quaker at 6:57 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by A dead Quaker at 6:57 PM on February 13, 2008
why in hell would someone cover a pile of cement blocks with a plastic tarp?
posted by kitchenrat at 6:57 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by kitchenrat at 6:57 PM on February 13, 2008
and have had a certain part of my anatomy compared to a baby's arm.
Sadly, it's his actual arm.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:28 PM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]
Sadly, it's his actual arm.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:28 PM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]
Horace, unfortunately the folks at Gothamist are way ahead of you. Unless virgil is your account name there.
posted by A dead Quaker at 7:59 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by A dead Quaker at 7:59 PM on February 13, 2008
I remember a CL post from a few years back, when I was apartment hunting in Brooklyn, that was an apartment for lease but the person had to be cool with the landlord's once-a-month bondage parties. Anybody have the link?
posted by charlesv at 8:02 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by charlesv at 8:02 PM on February 13, 2008
Actually, this is pretty hilarious if you've ever tried to sell something on Craigslist. The vast majority of responses are from complete and utter morons who apparently barely comprehend your posting no matter how thorough it was, and who want to ask a bunch of irrelevant questions.
Is it subtle prose? No. But it's a fair-middling quality rant about a single specific thing that deserves a bit of venting over.
posted by majick at 8:03 PM on February 13, 2008
Is it subtle prose? No. But it's a fair-middling quality rant about a single specific thing that deserves a bit of venting over.
posted by majick at 8:03 PM on February 13, 2008
unfortunately the folks at Gothamist are way ahead of you
I guess I shouldn't be surprised, AdQ; that joke pretty much writes itself. Of course, Virgil's comment didn't come until a day after the post went up, so perhaps it is I who am ahead of him.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:22 PM on February 13, 2008
I guess I shouldn't be surprised, AdQ; that joke pretty much writes itself. Of course, Virgil's comment didn't come until a day after the post went up, so perhaps it is I who am ahead of him.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:22 PM on February 13, 2008
The vast majority of responses are from complete and utter morons
Well, "vast majority" may be an overstatement, but I've noticed what I call the 20% Craigslist Flake Rule. It varies depending on what you're trying to sell/buy, but at least 1 in 5 responses is either non-serious or totally crazed.
But, you know, at least 20% of the folks responding to newspaper want ads back in the day were probably flakes, too.
posted by mediareport at 8:38 PM on February 13, 2008
Well, "vast majority" may be an overstatement, but I've noticed what I call the 20% Craigslist Flake Rule. It varies depending on what you're trying to sell/buy, but at least 1 in 5 responses is either non-serious or totally crazed.
But, you know, at least 20% of the folks responding to newspaper want ads back in the day were probably flakes, too.
posted by mediareport at 8:38 PM on February 13, 2008
The vast majority of responses are from complete and utter morons who apparently barely comprehend your posting no matter how thorough it was, and who want to ask a bunch of irrelevant questions.
And the remainder are scammers.
posted by nathan_teske at 9:04 PM on February 13, 2008
And the remainder are scammers.
posted by nathan_teske at 9:04 PM on February 13, 2008
MetaFilter:"Shut the hell up, Crackhead, I'm not finished."
posted by The Bellman at 9:12 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by The Bellman at 9:12 PM on February 13, 2008
lol fuck.
I find the "casual encounters" posts on CL consistently traffic-accident mesmerizing. People are, er, very specific. Kinsey missed out on a sweet data set.
I only read it for the articles.
posted by flotson at 9:21 PM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]
I find the "casual encounters" posts on CL consistently traffic-accident mesmerizing. People are, er, very specific. Kinsey missed out on a sweet data set.
I only read it for the articles.
posted by flotson at 9:21 PM on February 13, 2008 [1 favorite]
wtf is with people posting crap links to stupid shit that was previously featured on reddit, digg, etc.
posted by jimjam at 10:25 PM on February 13, 2008
posted by jimjam at 10:25 PM on February 13, 2008
If we're descending into a Best-of-CL list, I submit my vote [VERY NSFW].
posted by growabrain at 10:33 PM on February 13, 2008 [6 favorites]
posted by growabrain at 10:33 PM on February 13, 2008 [6 favorites]
Why??? How can he just NOT WANT ME just because we broke up? I am a very good looking girl.
posted by orthogonality at 1:32 AM on February 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by orthogonality at 1:32 AM on February 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
Please, Crackhead, please don't tell me you sold your crackpipe to buy crack. Even a stupid crackhead such as yourself couldn't possibly be that stupid.
This is the part of the story where I wet myself.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 1:40 AM on February 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
This is the part of the story where I wet myself.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 1:40 AM on February 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
Possibly the guy that put this up on flickr deserves some linkage.
posted by cillit bang at 2:31 AM on February 14, 2008
posted by cillit bang at 2:31 AM on February 14, 2008
A buck a block? I paid 85 cents each for mine.
posted by pax digita at 3:12 AM on February 14, 2008
posted by pax digita at 3:12 AM on February 14, 2008
If we're descending into a Best-of-CL list, I submit my vote [VERY NSFW].
I love how the hot tub guy is worried about food or hair products getting into the tub, but poo and semen, not so much.
posted by Pollomacho at 5:21 AM on February 14, 2008
I love how the hot tub guy is worried about food or hair products getting into the tub, but poo and semen, not so much.
posted by Pollomacho at 5:21 AM on February 14, 2008
I wonder if these are Halpern blocks or Trandom blocks...I'm building a BBQ.
posted by hellbient at 6:17 AM on February 14, 2008
posted by hellbient at 6:17 AM on February 14, 2008
KokoRyu, I bet that guy loves to eat pussy. Sometimes you can just tell.
What the fuck?
posted by agregoli at 6:49 AM on February 14, 2008
What the fuck?
posted by agregoli at 6:49 AM on February 14, 2008
I don't know, hellbient, but I would not recommend asking the question.
posted by ChrisR at 7:02 AM on February 14, 2008
posted by ChrisR at 7:02 AM on February 14, 2008
It can be difficult to tell I guess,
When I was working at the grocery store, an African coworker went around asking me and the other workers if they ate pussy. Each time someone would answer "yes" (which was often) he would be shocked. In his heavy accent, he would say "Oh nah man! Dan't tell me you et de poosay too!" finally we had to know. "In MY country, is ta-BOO! Nah man! De dick is strong!"
The best was when he asked the Janitor, who simply responded with "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit."
I fully admit there are times I miss that job.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:39 AM on February 14, 2008 [5 favorites]
When I was working at the grocery store, an African coworker went around asking me and the other workers if they ate pussy. Each time someone would answer "yes" (which was often) he would be shocked. In his heavy accent, he would say "Oh nah man! Dan't tell me you et de poosay too!" finally we had to know. "In MY country, is ta-BOO! Nah man! De dick is strong!"
The best was when he asked the Janitor, who simply responded with "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit."
I fully admit there are times I miss that job.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:39 AM on February 14, 2008 [5 favorites]
Metafilter: De dick is strong.
posted by ottereroticist at 7:54 AM on February 14, 2008
posted by ottereroticist at 7:54 AM on February 14, 2008
This whole war thread could have been averted. Cunnilingus and psychiatry Metafilter brought us to this.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:57 AM on February 14, 2008
posted by KokuRyu at 9:57 AM on February 14, 2008
I think Dead Gopher Wrapper in Porn wins over a cinder block any day of the week.
posted by webnrrd2k at 10:01 AM on February 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by webnrrd2k at 10:01 AM on February 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
cant reallly handle CL bottom feeders. My fave was a very frugal minded posting in the BARTER section: "I accidentally bought a gallon of Vitamin D whole Milk..will trade for gallon of 1% fat free milk."
theres no such thing as a free lunch on CL .....caveat emptor ... really ....
posted by celerystick at 10:40 AM on February 14, 2008
theres no such thing as a free lunch on CL .....caveat emptor ... really ....
posted by celerystick at 10:40 AM on February 14, 2008
So I load up the cinder blocks, then drive away? When do I give you money? Do I give you the cash after I get home? Whose truck do I use?
posted by Lord Kinbote at 11:33 AM on February 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by Lord Kinbote at 11:33 AM on February 14, 2008 [2 favorites]
When I remember, I spend the first couple of days of every month in anticipation of new additions to Best Of Craigslist. Yay! Thanks for the reminder. I've been slipping.
posted by spec80 at 12:17 PM on February 14, 2008
posted by spec80 at 12:17 PM on February 14, 2008
Jesus, I've seen most of these before and I don't even read craigslist.
I find craigslist works best as the punch line to an internet joke, much like 4chan or yahoo finance message boards. I mean, sure, I'll use it to find an apartment or a used car, but visiting everyday would be a bit much.
posted by ryanrs at 2:55 PM on February 14, 2008
I find craigslist works best as the punch line to an internet joke, much like 4chan or yahoo finance message boards. I mean, sure, I'll use it to find an apartment or a used car, but visiting everyday would be a bit much.
posted by ryanrs at 2:55 PM on February 14, 2008
Maybe this one will explain why he's so pissed off
posted by joelf at 3:24 PM on February 14, 2008 [5 favorites]
posted by joelf at 3:24 PM on February 14, 2008 [5 favorites]
I WANT THE FUCKING FRIDGE AS WELL!!!
posted by vrakatar at 6:30 PM on February 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by vrakatar at 6:30 PM on February 14, 2008 [1 favorite]
I don't have the fridge's family tree. For all I know the fridge's was conceived by a slutty young Maytag that graced some hillbilly's side porch.
Heh.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:21 PM on February 14, 2008
Heh.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:21 PM on February 14, 2008
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posted by rokusan at 4:32 PM on February 13, 2008 [2 favorites]