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Of Montreal? Never heard of em.
February 14, 2008 10:36 PM Subscribe

Stuff ~~White People~~ MetaFilter People Like. You know the type. Yeeees you do.

And so the Prophecies, they have come to pass.

posted by fucker (86 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: Still pretty lame, yeah. Good morning! -- cortex

A lot of this list should also be on 'Stuff Marin People Like'
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 10:40 PM on February 14, 2008

Double? (This URL is an alias for the other one.)
posted by Class Goat at 10:40 PM on February 14, 2008

Ask an Uptight Seattelite
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:42 PM on February 14, 2008

It is a double. Although I will admit, the entry about recycling made me laugh.
posted by tepidmonkey at 10:43 PM on February 14, 2008

This will something something. (NOT SOMETHINGIST.)
posted by louche mustachio at 10:44 PM on February 14, 2008

Is it 'cos I is white?
posted by dhartung at 10:44 PM on February 14, 2008

Man, I was just about to post this. :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
posted by johngumbo at 10:45 PM on February 14, 2008

The "Top 10 Rap Songs White People Like" post was a major cop-out. A bunch of shitty early 90s cruft? Vanilla Ice?

Through De La Soul in there; give it some teeth.
posted by mr_roboto at 10:47 PM on February 14, 2008

eponi-fucking-sterical...
posted by wendell at 10:49 PM on February 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

Deleted thread blog. For all your deleted thread needs.
posted by puke & cry at 10:53 PM on February 14, 2008

Ten minutes too late.
posted by Curry at 11:01 PM on February 14, 2008

Okay, so maybe it was posted once before and deleted, but whatever. It's hilarious.

I am white. :(
posted by blacklite at 11:08 PM on February 14, 2008

Gold:

"But like with anime, you have to be careful about how much you like Japan. If you know how to speak Japanese, you kind of ruin it for everyone else."

posted by awfurby at 11:10 PM on February 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

Yeah, I'll have to admit that strikes a cord, awfurby. See also: Steven den Beste.
posted by Justinian at 11:14 PM on February 14, 2008

nah, white people like this
posted by pyramid termite at 11:20 PM on February 14, 2008

My white girlfriend owns that European city bike, and does, in fact, bike around the old city, filling her wicker basket with baguettes and wine and cheeses and whatnot. Actually today it was cider and a jar of red onion confit, but I'm not complaining.
posted by mumkin at 11:20 PM on February 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

This is very entertaining to me.
posted by spiderskull at 11:24 PM on February 14, 2008

nah, white people like this

Not many black folk with accordions.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:29 PM on February 14, 2008

Stuff MetaFilter People Don't Like:

1. Insomnia.

2. Double Posts That Won't Be Deleted Until A Mod Wakes Up).

posted by ericb at 11:35 PM on February 14, 2008

Not many black folk with accordions.

You're not familiar with Zydeco music, are you?
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:39 PM on February 14, 2008 [4 favorites]

Where's Geddy Lee???
posted by dhammond at 11:41 PM on February 14, 2008

#62 cuts like ice-cold truth.
posted by Kattullus at 11:41 PM on February 14, 2008

To be fair, this is about white urban twenty-somethings, not the ethnicity as a whole. Billy Ray don't dig on sushi.

You're not familiar with Zydeco music, are you?

You're not familar with the term "many", are you?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:43 PM on February 14, 2008

The list is hit and miss, but the way it is written like instructions for getting by in white society is hilarious:

if you plan to deal with white people on regular basis

If you are in the position where you need to take a white person to lunch for business or pleasure

How can you use this for gain? It’s easy! When a white person you work with is feeling sick or says they have no energy,

It's like a guidebook!
posted by BinGregory at 11:44 PM on February 14, 2008

Given that it was deleted for lameness last time, is it really a double? It's more a resurrection than a reincarnation.
posted by mumkin at 11:46 PM on February 14, 2008

It makes it doubly lame
posted by pupdog at 11:50 PM on February 14, 2008

Given that it was deleted for lameness last time, is it really a double? It's more a resurrection than a reincarnation.

How so many of the subjects of double (and more) Obit posts would wish resurrection were possible.
posted by ericb at 11:56 PM on February 14, 2008

You're not familar with the term "many", are you?

You're not familiar with the spelling of familiar, are you?
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:56 PM on February 14, 2008 [4 favorites]

I must be only 22% white, and "Salt n’ Pepa: Push It" was awesome music for sex. :)
I think it's more like Gen-X that wanted to be hippies than 20-somethings, no 20-something I know is that into 80's music, Natural Medicine, Public Radio, Yoga or Film Festivals. It's like half-and-half.
posted by zengargoyle at 11:59 PM on February 14, 2008

You wait almost 7 years to make your first post and it's a double.

/snark
posted by chillmost at 12:03 AM on February 15, 2008 [1 favorite]

This, not surprisingly, has Portland, OR written alllll over it. The breakfast places entry is spot on (most of them are, really).
posted by medeine at 12:08 AM on February 15, 2008 [1 favorite]

You're not familiar with the spelling of familiar, are you?

FLAWLESS VICTORY
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:08 AM on February 15, 2008 [1 favorite]

And so the Prophecies, they have come to pass:

January 20, 2008:

If you find yourself in a situation with a white person, and an awkard silence falls over you. Mention any of the movies below and you will have something to talk about, and they will like you. Here are some approved comments:

4. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) “This movie changed my life.”

February 12th, 2008:

The Royal Tenenbaums... I count that film as having been a turning point in my life...

posted by fucker at 12:09 AM on February 15, 2008 [5 favorites]

This, not surprisingly, has Portland, OR written alllll over it.

The authors are from Toronto and LA. Portland's just unbelievably white.
posted by blacklite at 12:11 AM on February 15, 2008

I am a White People and I do not endorse this FPP.
posted by amyms at 12:14 AM on February 15, 2008

Tangential to the fpp, does anyone have recommendations for serious anthropological studies of white americans? You know, something that studies whites as the "other"? I've been googling around and found the Center for the Study of White American Culture, which is sort of what I'm thinking of and has a lot of good links. Others?
posted by BinGregory at 12:22 AM on February 15, 2008

FLAWLESS VICTORY

Thank you. You were a worthy adversary. I just got lucky and happened to mash F, F, F, HP with my hands at exactly the right moment.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:23 AM on February 15, 2008

I haven't read through the whole list (though I likely will) just the first page - I agree whole-heartedly with BinGregory's assessment, and would like to make a serious comment in what is likely going to end up as another deleted thread. Some of it is funny, some isn't, but as a white guy - a lot of it hits pretty darn close to the bone. But what is even more interesting is how this "guide to white folk", IMHO, shows the difference between stereotyping and racism. I think people would have a hard time characterizing this web site as intended to lead to any hatred, anger or dismissal of white people. It notes some qualia that, while by no means exclusive to white people, are pretty spot on - I am sure all of you know someone to whom many apply. That said, whether the person they apply to is white or not, the description that accompanies the item can make you re-examine the issue.

For example - the co-ed sports item. The continuum from aggressive to supercilious is very astute (and that one definitely applies to more than just white people). So what does that mean - most sports are designed to be competitive - it's the nature of the beast. So when you have the game being played "just for fun" - why is it that the express removal of competitiveness from the equation doesn't result in the competitiveness being removed, but simply modulated so as to result in that aforementioned co-ed continuum? And I don't even engage in co-ed sports...

I am, however, a (newly minted) Prius driver. While I don't consider this as a license (pun intended) to drive more than I would/have to, I can easily see people who would. The fact that my Japanese (yes - that item applies to me too) wife also wanted a Prius makes the "white person" aspect of it moot, at least in our case, but nonetheless - I would give someone a lift in it much more readily than with my previous car - even after reading this website...The observation may not be particularly deep, but not everything has to be paradigm shifting.

As for sammiches, I know that I have, and likely will again, stand in line for a smoked meat sandwich at Schwartz's in Montreal. (However, it doesn't count, since they aren't expensive)

The natural medicine thing - doesn't apply to me - I'm all for "better living through chemistry" - though I know a lot of people (many of them white) that it does apply to.

Back to my main point (white folk sure do love themselves some tangents), these are all stereotypes. They likely apply to any one white person, though not necessarily so - the definition of stereotype. THAT is how I think the site is engaging - by showing how stereotypes might very well apply in great number and still not be completely accurate. Pattern recognition is an inherent part of human brain processing, and stereotypes are just a form of pattern recognition. It's only when stereotypes are used to make important decisions (as opposed to frivolous ones like whom to joke with about the lack of recycling) that it can become a problem. Knowing when to act on information from a stereotype, and when not to, is part of being a functioning adult in modern society. Labelling all stereotyping as "racism" is, again IMHO, counterproductive in framing that functionality.

Back to the regularly scheduled programming...
posted by birdsquared at 12:37 AM on February 15, 2008 [1 favorite]

According to this blog on the internet, I am incredibly white. A look in the mirror confirms this hypothesis.

I suppose I have to buy a bike, now. At the THRIFT STORE!
posted by kyleg at 12:38 AM on February 15, 2008

What a load of racist drivel.
posted by mr. strange at 12:41 AM on February 15, 2008

Yeah - It's inflammatory material like this that keeps whitey down.
Centuries of oppression and people are still saying this stuff.
Hey. amirite?
posted by seanyboy at 12:52 AM on February 15, 2008 [2 favorites]

Well, he's got me pegged...
posted by eclectist at 12:55 AM on February 15, 2008

Anyway - I like this. It's tongue in cheek, but doesn't try too hard for the lulz, and it's not really that offensive. Here's hoping the post doesn't get deleted.
posted by seanyboy at 12:55 AM on February 15, 2008

Damn crackers.
posted by hjo3 at 12:55 AM on February 15, 2008

blech, "south park"-isms crap.
posted by peppito at 1:11 AM on February 15, 2008

Red Meat on ventriloquist dummies
posted by CheshireCat at 1:20 AM on February 15, 2008

This is racist garbage. Thanks.
posted by converge at 1:37 AM on February 15, 2008

Ofays
posted by Joseph Gurl at 1:59 AM on February 15, 2008

Not all white people are wankers. Just the vast majority of us.
posted by Football Bat at 2:08 AM on February 15, 2008

#50 Irony:

[T]he reason that white people love irony is that it lets them have some fun and feel better about themselves...

Other examples would include white people getting together to have a ‘white trash’ night where they would eat Kentucky Fried Chicken, drink Bud Light and watch Larry the Cable Guy or The Marine. Maybe listen to Kid Rock or P.O.D. These events allow white people to experience things they are supposed to hate, all while feeling better about their own lives, decisions, and cultured tastes.

So true.
posted by grouse at 2:17 AM on February 15, 2008 [1 favorite]

"racist", hahahaha. get over yourself. seriously.

OH MY GOD, THESE GUYS THINK THAT ALL WHITE PEOPLE PLAY CO-ED BASEBALL, I AM SERIOUSLY OFFENDED.

The authors have chosen a collective set of traits to label as White People. You'll note (but probably not because you were too offended) that in the post about arts degrees, the writer says "But what about the white people who study Science, Engineering or Business? Unless they become doctors, they essentially lose white person status [...]" which gives you, the confused offended person, a big neon arrow pointing to the fact that the writer is using "white person" as a label for a social grouping and not a physical skin color grouping.

When I (scottish/polish) turn to my (irish/scottish) friend and say "that is the whitest thing I have ever heard anyone say", I don't actually mean "gasp, that utterance is indicative of a very pale skin color", I just mean it sounds incredibly boring, milquetoast, cookie-cutter, naive, provincial, spoiled, sheltered, etc, etc. Which is a collection of traits that deserves to be made fun of. I suppose in a sense it's unfortunate that it's easiest to call people like this "white", but... they are, mostly. There are some really white black people out there in the real world, too.

Wait, no, never mind. I should have just agreed. These labels are giving people the wrong impression about white people! I have to tell all of my friends at the sandwich shop tomorrow.
posted by blacklite at 3:32 AM on February 15, 2008 [5 favorites]

They feel guilty and sad that poor people shop at Wal*Mart instead of Whole Foods, that they vote Republican instead of Democratic, that they go to Community College/get a job instead of studying art at a University.

At what point did people start believing that the poor tend to vote Republican? Or does "poor" mean "Southern white people" in this context?
posted by stammer at 3:33 AM on February 15, 2008

I read it with the deleted thread - deleted by a WHITE man!
Its a giggle, and to tell the truth showed me a couple of north american things that have yet to be completely adopted by Aussies.
Personally, it is a bit like star signs. I gloss over the natural medicine, Japan love and expensive sandwiches that don't gel but see my apparently cracker arse in a bunch of the entries.
posted by bystander at 3:53 AM on February 15, 2008

I read this as being written by Indian or east Asian folk rather than African-American. From USian folk who are more sensitive to this than me, is this true?
posted by bystander at 3:57 AM on February 15, 2008

Ofays

The plural of ofay is ofay, as in "the ofay like sushi."
posted by Pollomacho at 4:02 AM on February 15, 2008

It kind of straddles the border between being funny and being crypto-conservative, which is quite clever, because white people don't like pointing out right wing rhetoric when it's dressed up in race.
posted by mobunited at 5:48 AM on February 15 [+] [!]

Thank you mobunited. I noticed the same thing. To me, it read more like "Penn and Teller's guide to 'look at the stupid librulz, lol!'".
posted by [insert clever name here] at 4:31 AM on February 15, 2008 [1 favorite]

Make fun of my sandwiches but don't you dare mess with my public radio.

Don't worry little WNYC, I'll make the bad men go away. Shhh...
posted by Skorgu at 4:38 AM on February 15, 2008

They also cannot dance! Have you seen them? White people, you are so silly!

[Flagged as trite]
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:39 AM on February 15, 2008 [1 favorite]

Site should be relabled "Stuff Liberal Urban-dwelling professional white people like".

What self respecting republicans drive priuses?
posted by prodigalsun at 4:47 AM on February 15, 2008 [1 favorite]

This isn't racist, but it's weird. It's confusing class with race, and suggesting that everything non-upper-middle-class-urban is not white. Maybe that's actually the point, to demonstrate that many perceived racial characteristics are actually class markers?
posted by footnote at 5:04 AM on February 15, 2008 [2 favorites]

Why is this not racist? I know it's supposed to be funny, and some of it is a little bit funny, but why is it not racist?
posted by Cookiebastard at 5:06 AM on February 15, 2008

Stuff Non-White People Like

a) crack
b) cheap handguns
c) malt liquor
d) white wimmins
e) suicide bombs
f) rap
posted by chlorus at 5:12 AM on February 15, 2008 [2 favorites]

The majority of poor people in the US are white, and many of them live in the red states. So it's probably more accurate to equate poor with 'southern white' than it is to equate it with 'urban black' although the media may have given you a different impression.

Living in a red state does not mean voting republican, though. I think I've had this argument here before - look up the polls from 2004 that record income data. Regardless of race, the poor are Democrats, pretty consistently, even in elections that Republicans win. (There are also a lot of black Greens, contra the website's implication.)
posted by stammer at 5:13 AM on February 15, 2008

I was ready to hate this, but then I remembered that I DO love me some divorce.
posted by ColdChef at 5:24 AM on February 15, 2008 [2 favorites]

look up the polls from 2004 that record income data. Regardless of race, the poor are Democrats, pretty consistently, even in elections that Republicans win.

Looking at the data you mention, it seems the opposite is true. Also there don't seem to be many greens in heavily african-american districts either.
posted by Pollomacho at 5:24 AM on February 15, 2008

Site should be relabled "Stuff Liberal Urban-dwelling professional white people like".

Which would count for why none of it applies to me. Not that I'm a conservative rural-dwelling out of work white person. Then again, I am a Southerner, so maybe that skews things. People can enjoy it, but I find it as about entertaining as the "whitey" dismissing monologues that you used to hear a lot from black comedians that weren't racist by virtue that it was about white people.
posted by Atreides at 5:29 AM on February 15, 2008

Stuff Non-White People Like

a) crack
b) cheap handguns
c) malt liquor
d) white wimmins
e) suicide bombs
f) rap

When I read this, I felt a quick moment of dread...Black people are starting to use suicide bombs? And then I remembered the OTHER non-white meat.
posted by ColdChef at 5:29 AM on February 15, 2008

As a white dude who likes at least four of the aforementioned six "Stuff[s] Non-White People Like," I am unsure whether to react to that comment.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 5:38 AM on February 15, 2008

It kind of straddles the border between being funny and being crypto-conservative...

I think you nailed it there.
posted by Shepherd at 5:39 AM on February 15, 2008

The guy's an idiot......
posted by HuronBob at 5:40 AM on February 15, 2008

"As a white dude who likes at least four of the aforementioned six "Stuff[s] Non-White People Like," I am unsure whether to react to that comment."

What do you have against Malt Liquor?
posted by HuronBob at 5:41 AM on February 15, 2008 [1 favorite]

The is all ridiculously fucking accurate in my case. Arrested Development? Recycling even though it's effort-free and not all that effective and it just gives me an excuse to consume more? The Sunday NYT? Public Radio? I'm straight-up busted here.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 5:45 AM on February 15, 2008

Man. Not far from my college campus there was this sandwich shop that was so good. I still dream about their sandwiches.
posted by octobersurprise at 5:48 AM on February 15, 2008

This article just reminded me to give some cash to public radio. Mostly because I am oddly freaked out and, at the same time, turned on by the voice of the lady who tells me that my programming is brought to me by Paramount Pictures' "There Will Be Blood."
posted by uncleozzy at 5:54 AM on February 15, 2008

"The reason white people love architecture so much is that deep down they believe that they could have been a great architect. They feel the same way about other professions including: professor, writer, and politician."

I saw this yesterday and thought it was a shame to delete the original post. The blog is a little patchy but he hits the nail on the head enough times to make it worth it.
posted by rongorongo at 6:04 AM on February 15, 2008

Hey I remember posting this.

#86: White people love getting offended.
posted by chunking express at 6:07 AM on February 15, 2008 [1 favorite]

And I think people calling this racist need to really examine what racism is.
posted by chunking express at 6:08 AM on February 15, 2008 [1 favorite]

Ofays

You've got white people and you've got ofays. Now I love white people, but I *hate* the ofay.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:11 AM on February 15, 2008

I read Metafilter less and less, and the fact that a post like this can get deleted is a good example of why.
posted by jefeweiss at 6:15 AM on February 15, 2008 [3 favorites]

Well, this hit close to the bone, and I'm a Dark Skin Fellow. I'm gonna go with "stuff liberal urban-dwelling professional people like."
posted by naju at 6:21 AM on February 15, 2008

And I think people calling this racist need to really examine what racism is.

Maybe you could help them. Cuz chances are, they'll go really examine what racism is, and come back thinking this is racist.

Or are you just trying to score a controversial point without owning it?
posted by breezeway at 6:23 AM on February 15, 2008

White people also like imperialism and genocide.

I can't think of anything that would actually qualify as racism against white people. Refusing to associate with them, hire them, or allow them into one's establishment would just be common sense and good taste. Assaulting or killing them would be a bit rude but understandable.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 6:25 AM on February 15, 2008

Her whole shtick is about saying really offensive things! But it’s ok because she’s pretty and has a small voice so it all sounds so cute! Get it? It’s not offensive, because when she says racist or sexist things she knows they are offensive. So it’s ok.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:34 AM on February 15, 2008

Can you use a George Foreman grill as a Panini press?
posted by mecran01 at 6:35 AM on February 15, 2008

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Of Montreal? Never heard of em. February 14, 2008 10:36 PM Subscribe

Of Montreal? Never heard of em.
February 14, 2008 10:36 PM Subscribe