Books Oprah Wants to Club
February 22, 2008 9:13 AM Subscribe
It's time again for the greatest literary competition this side of Bulwer-Lytton: The Bookseller/Diagram Prize for the Oddest Book Title (previously), and YOU can vote here for your favorite from 'the shortlist':
I Was Tortured By the Pygmy Love Queen (scroll down to see the author's blog)
How to Write a How to Write Book (other books by the author, mostly unavailable)
Are Women Human? And Other International Dialogues (written by a woman)
Cheese Problems Solved (ONLY £135.00)
If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs (with extra points for the author's name: Big Boom)
and People who Mattered in Southend and Beyond: From King Canute to Dr Feelgood (this might be declared ineligible since the publisher's cover picture shows a shortened title)
The books that, sadly, missed the cut:
Drawing and Painting the Undead
Stafford Pageant: The Exciting Innovative Years 1901–1952
Tiles of the Unexpected: A Study of Six Miles of Geometric Tile Patterns on the London Underground(my personal choice)
Squid Recruitment Dynamics (also available as a FREE pdf)
and Glory Remembered: Wooden Headgear of Alaska Sea Hunters
I Was Tortured By the Pygmy Love Queen (scroll down to see the author's blog)
How to Write a How to Write Book (other books by the author, mostly unavailable)
Are Women Human? And Other International Dialogues (written by a woman)
Cheese Problems Solved (ONLY £135.00)
If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs (with extra points for the author's name: Big Boom)
and People who Mattered in Southend and Beyond: From King Canute to Dr Feelgood (this might be declared ineligible since the publisher's cover picture shows a shortened title)
The books that, sadly, missed the cut:
Drawing and Painting the Undead
Stafford Pageant: The Exciting Innovative Years 1901–1952
Tiles of the Unexpected: A Study of Six Miles of Geometric Tile Patterns on the London Underground(my personal choice)
Squid Recruitment Dynamics (also available as a FREE pdf)
and Glory Remembered: Wooden Headgear of Alaska Sea Hunters
No Island of the Sequined Love Nun or Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore?
posted by Roach at 9:33 AM on February 22, 2008
posted by Roach at 9:33 AM on February 22, 2008
Neither of which, gentlemen, where published in 2007.
posted by ZaneJ. at 9:57 AM on February 22, 2008
posted by ZaneJ. at 9:57 AM on February 22, 2008
Er, none of which where published in 2007. Need caffeine.
posted by ZaneJ. at 9:58 AM on February 22, 2008
posted by ZaneJ. at 9:58 AM on February 22, 2008
A Melon For Ecstasy?
I love that book. It takes its title from the old arab saying:
A woman for duty.
A boy for pleasure.
But a melon for ecstasy.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:00 AM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
I love that book. It takes its title from the old arab saying:
A woman for duty.
A boy for pleasure.
But a melon for ecstasy.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:00 AM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
"Cheese Problems Solved" is a magnificent name for a book. When I have a cheese problem, I now know exactly where to go for the answer. It sells itself.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:02 AM on February 22, 2008
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:02 AM on February 22, 2008
That Big Boom book is actually quite popular at my library. He's got a follow-up called 'How to duck a suckah: a guide to living a drama-free life.'
posted by box at 10:07 AM on February 22, 2008
posted by box at 10:07 AM on February 22, 2008
Wow, Cheese Problems Solved solves problems I didn't know cheese had! To wit:
How can I cure the "toad-skin" and "cat-hair" defects of Camembert cheese?
What causes "blind" Emmental cheese?
Why might smear cheese develop excessive mould?
Sobering.
posted by Enroute at 10:15 AM on February 22, 2008
How can I cure the "toad-skin" and "cat-hair" defects of Camembert cheese?
What causes "blind" Emmental cheese?
Why might smear cheese develop excessive mould?
Sobering.
posted by Enroute at 10:15 AM on February 22, 2008
Wonderful, now you can add cheese to the list of "things with problems".
posted by tommasz at 10:17 AM on February 22, 2008
posted by tommasz at 10:17 AM on February 22, 2008
When the title was Cheese, people said
"But what about the problems?"
When the title was changed to Cheese Problems, people said
"But what about the solutions?"
When the title was changed to Cheese Problems Solved, people said
"I smell international best-seller. And cheese."
posted by burnmp3s at 10:18 AM on February 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
"But what about the problems?"
When the title was changed to Cheese Problems, people said
"But what about the solutions?"
When the title was changed to Cheese Problems Solved, people said
"I smell international best-seller. And cheese."
posted by burnmp3s at 10:18 AM on February 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
I think the key is to look at them as cheese opportunities.
posted by Floydd at 10:26 AM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Floydd at 10:26 AM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
Are Women Human? shouldn't be included as it's just stolen from Dorothy L. Sayers.
posted by otio at 10:31 AM on February 22, 2008
posted by otio at 10:31 AM on February 22, 2008
collected Speeches of Marcel Marceau
posted by pax digita at 10:32 AM on February 22, 2008
posted by pax digita at 10:32 AM on February 22, 2008
My personal favourite: How to Avoid Huge Ships
posted by KokuRyu at 11:23 AM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by KokuRyu at 11:23 AM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
I love FPP's where I don't even need to click on anything in the entire post or thread and already I'm laughing.
posted by not_on_display at 12:09 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by not_on_display at 12:09 PM on February 22, 2008
I don't see why MacKinnon's book is on the list. It's a pretty smart title for a book that asks whether or not international law and the international community views women as humans when it comes to things like Human Rights. It's a brilliant collection of essays by one of the leading public intellectuals of an era. One of these things is not like the others.
posted by allen.spaulding at 12:14 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by allen.spaulding at 12:14 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
My personal all-time favorite is "How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarky? or Effective Way?"
It's a stunning read.
posted by rush at 12:36 PM on February 22, 2008
It's a stunning read.
posted by rush at 12:36 PM on February 22, 2008
For sheer self-referentiality, but actually a very useful if not indispensible read, I submit How to Read a Book by Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren. It was a real "gift that keeps on giving" early in college; wish I'd read it in high school instead.
posted by pax digita at 12:38 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by pax digita at 12:38 PM on February 22, 2008
This contest is a fraud.
The clear winner is Eeeee Eee Eeee by Tao Lin.
posted by Target Practice at 12:59 PM on February 22, 2008
The clear winner is Eeeee Eee Eeee by Tao Lin.
posted by Target Practice at 12:59 PM on February 22, 2008
I've got 99 problems, but the "toad-skin" and "cat-hair" defects of Camembert ain't one.
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:03 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:03 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
My all time favorite book title was also the subject of a Metafilter FPP:
How to Draw a Straight Line.
A close second is Charles Fort's Lo!
posted by Tube at 4:44 PM on February 22, 2008
How to Draw a Straight Line.
A close second is Charles Fort's Lo!
posted by Tube at 4:44 PM on February 22, 2008
well, it's no "cheese problems solved," but I always thought this was funny. It's 448 pages on the history of the pencil. It's called "The Pencil."
posted by cogneuro at 5:11 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by cogneuro at 5:11 PM on February 22, 2008
A personal favorite: Void Where Prohibited: Rest Breaks and the Right to Urinate on Company Time
Marketing the Menacing Fetus in Japan is also up there.
posted by jonp72 at 5:30 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
Marketing the Menacing Fetus in Japan is also up there.
posted by jonp72 at 5:30 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
no 'I Am America (And So Can You)'?
posted by mannequito at 6:52 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by mannequito at 6:52 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
I vote for Cheese Problems Solved: Start With Your Legs.
posted by taz at 9:24 PM on February 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by taz at 9:24 PM on February 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
How am I supposed to believe that this is a serious attempt to find the oddest book titles when there are no entries from Crad Kilodney? Lightning Struck My Dick, Blood Sucking Monkeys from North Tonawanda, Suburban Chicken Strangling Stories are the first that come to mind. And Kilodney's efforts go far beyond being merely curious titles, of course.
posted by A-Train at 2:38 PM on February 23, 2008
posted by A-Train at 2:38 PM on February 23, 2008
Oh.
Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year. I'll apply Rush's defense and say I was thinking of my all-time favorites.
Carry on.
posted by A-Train at 3:40 PM on February 23, 2008
Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year. I'll apply Rush's defense and say I was thinking of my all-time favorites.
Carry on.
posted by A-Train at 3:40 PM on February 23, 2008
Don't forget Stewart Home, notable for titles such as:
Blow Job
Cunt
69 Things to Do with a Dead Princess
Whips & Furs: My Life as a bon-vivant, gambler & love rat by Jesus H. Christ
Fasting on SPAM and Other Non-aligned Diets for Our Electronic Age
The Correct Way to Boil Water
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:40 PM on February 23, 2008
Blow Job
Cunt
69 Things to Do with a Dead Princess
Whips & Furs: My Life as a bon-vivant, gambler & love rat by Jesus H. Christ
Fasting on SPAM and Other Non-aligned Diets for Our Electronic Age
The Correct Way to Boil Water
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:40 PM on February 23, 2008
Squid Recruitment Dynamics : I feel a punk rock band in the making :D
posted by liza at 10:31 PM on February 24, 2008
posted by liza at 10:31 PM on February 24, 2008
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posted by tremspeed at 9:28 AM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]