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All the Kirk you can eat
February 22, 2008 1:00 PM   Subscribe

Free Star Trek. The only Star Trek that matters -- the ones with Kirk, Spock, Bones, and the rest.

Is that not enough time-killing, brain-eating sludge for you?
Here's two years' worth of Twilight Zone.
And a year's worth of MacGyver.
A year of Hawaii Five-O.
And Melrose Place. Sure, whatever.
posted by ardgedee (71 comments total) 45 users marked this as a favorite

 
Aw...no full screen?
posted by cowbellemoo at 1:03 PM on February 22, 2008


Full screen here.
posted by zippy at 1:05 PM on February 22, 2008 [8 favorites]


Star Trek is brain-eating sludge?

Them's fighting words. Phasers set to kill at dawn. You might as well wear red, 'cause you're going down!

(Awesome post, though.)
posted by slimepuppy at 1:10 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]


This is one of those Really Fricking Cool Things Not Allowed In Canada, isn't it?
posted by eurasian at 1:11 PM on February 22, 2008


Oh. My God. As some of you know, I am obsessed with Shatner.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:13 PM on February 22, 2008


Fascinating.
posted by mwhybark at 1:14 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]


Also: KHAAAAAN!

CBS hates Europe.
posted by slimepuppy at 1:15 PM on February 22, 2008


It would appear that these aren't the fancy new versions? Still, neat! Thanks.
posted by interrobang at 1:20 PM on February 22, 2008


The only Star Trek that matters -- the ones with Kirk, Spock, Bones, and the rest Sisko, Garak, Dukat, and the rest.

FTFY.
posted by bunnytricks at 1:20 PM on February 22, 2008 [9 favorites]


Eh. Melrose Place doesn't get good until Season 3. (On sale now! Please buy it!)
posted by infinitewindow at 1:23 PM on February 22, 2008


Oh, awesome! Way to go CBS!
posted by klangklangston at 1:24 PM on February 22, 2008


Man when they did scripted sci-fi back then they did it in volume. 29 episodes running 50 minutes each.
posted by aerotive at 1:25 PM on February 22, 2008


"This content is currently unavailable."

Why? Why? Why? Why can't Canadians watch old TV shows from US networks? I don't get the licensing behind it? It's not like they're still on TV here.

Not that I'm all that interested in Star Trek, moreso for Macgyver.
posted by damclean2 at 1:26 PM on February 22, 2008


Very interesting.

Obviously trying to gauge interest.

But I think that we are now entering "totally different, paradigm shifting entertainment zone".

If it costs very little, why not put your entire catalog online? Maybe someone will click, and you'll make $0.25 on advertising?

Maybe people would pay a subscription? Or micropayments?

Etc, etc.

I find it crazy to think how close we are to the "I'd like to watch episode 203 of 'Welcome Back Kotter' now, please."

(of course, the idea that one would want to... well, that's another question altogether. Evidently a friend of a friend is addicted to She-Ra.)
posted by gregvr at 1:27 PM on February 22, 2008


I hate to be a bitch, but no "The Cage"? Where's my boy Christopher Pike at? (And no one better mention "The Menagerie.")
posted by steef at 1:29 PM on February 22, 2008


Is this something you would need no TV to understand?
posted by designbot at 1:29 PM on February 22, 2008 [4 favorites]


'course, it doesn't work in Safari. Come on, people.

Is that "brain-rotting sludge" a Harlan Ellison quote?
posted by zerolives at 1:29 PM on February 22, 2008


Honestly, if you think Pike could hold a candle to Kirk, you're smoking some bad granola.
posted by zerolives at 1:30 PM on February 22, 2008


Addition: What framerate are these videos running at? 15 FPS? The quality is okay, but it's choppy as hell on my 2.16ghz macbook running firefox. Is it just because Flash sucks ass on mac OS?
posted by zerolives at 1:33 PM on February 22, 2008


The only Star Trek that matters -- the ones with Kirk, Spock, Bones, and the rest Sisko, Garak, Dukat, and the rest.

Agreed. Demar and Weyoun were classic as well.
posted by juiceCake at 1:40 PM on February 22, 2008


The only Star Trek that matters -- the ones with Kirk, Spock, Bones, and the rest Sisko, Garak, Dukat, and the rest.

FTFY.
posted by bunnytricks at 3:20 PM on February 22


DS9 was OK, but it weren't no TOS or TNG, that's for sure.
posted by adamdschneider at 1:46 PM on February 22, 2008


The only Star Trek that matters -- the ones with Sisko, Garak, Dukat, and the rest.

If you believe that, I bet your favorite Star Wars movie is The Phantom Menace
posted by cjets at 1:46 PM on February 22, 2008 [5 favorites]


I'm not going to get sucked into a "Who would kick whose ass, Pike or Kirk?" kind of argument, but "The Cage" has at least two major things going for it: Susan Oliver in Orion Slave Girl getup, and Majel Barett as Number One.
posted by steef at 1:49 PM on February 22, 2008


I think Star Wars as a franchise is complete garbage.
posted by bunnytricks at 1:49 PM on February 22, 2008


Sisko couldn't act, but Garak was all right. Still, DS9 couldn't hold a candle to Babylon 5.

The original Star Trek rocked, though. Shatner, FTW!
posted by misha at 1:56 PM on February 22, 2008


Oh, and, "I'm laughing at the superior intellect."
posted by misha at 1:58 PM on February 22, 2008


I think Star Wars as a franchise is complete garbage.

Thanks for letting us know.
posted by interrobang at 2:00 PM on February 22, 2008 [4 favorites]


I love TOS so much. But one thing I just can't excuse. The fight choreography was terrible. I mean REALLY terrible.

Watch the first fight in The Gamesters of Triskelion. My god.
posted by tkchrist at 2:02 PM on February 22, 2008


Hawaii Five-0 came to film outside our apartment building one day when I was a kid. We had to leave our apartment because we were on the 3rd floor, and because of the way they were shooting the scene, they couldn't have anyone "accidentally" appear on their lanai (porch) and ruin the shot.

They filmed in the parking lot of the little grocery store next to our building, and then some shots of McGarret in our building's parking lot. All us neighborhood kids thought this was the most awesome thing ever.

Jack Lord wouldn't even smile at us, though. But the guy who played Danny was really nice to us.
posted by rtha at 2:09 PM on February 22, 2008


"This Content Is Currently Unavailable"... Americans only then?
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:19 PM on February 22, 2008


Jack Lord wouldn't even smile at us, though. But the guy who played Danny was really nice to us.

This article backs up your assertion.
posted by evilcolonel at 2:19 PM on February 22, 2008


The friggin' GORN!!! On my computer!!!!
posted by jonson at 2:27 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]


Free Star Trek.

Star Trek has been imprisoned? I always suspected it was guilty of something.

MacGyver is the shit though. I was craving it after this weeks Mythbusters, and here it is!
posted by quin at 2:31 PM on February 22, 2008


I'm spontaneously galactating.

Wait...

"This content is currently unavailable."

Con!
posted by pracowity at 2:36 PM on February 22, 2008


The fight choreography was terrible. I mean REALLY terrible.

I don't know what you're talking about. I have used the double fist to the back of the neck to end many an unpleasant alien encounter.
posted by adamdschneider at 2:43 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]


I have used the double fist to the back of the neck to end many an unpleasant alien encounter.

It's not just the hokey moves (the Kirk "drop-Kick" being my personal favorite). And those are bad enough. It's the bad blocking, poor timing, and the fact the cast and crew had obviously never done a decent run-through. They barely even try to disguise the mistakes.

The other thing that always gets me is McCoy. We all know that Kirk is out to get laid every chance he gets. And we can empathize. But Bones? That guy is such a hysterical asshole.

Spock is going about doing his job and McCoy is always on his ass about how calm Spock is. How can you be so damned calm! Must you be so blasted logical! Like. God dammit you green blooded hob-goblin. Can't you get all worked up and panic like I do? If Spock actually took McCoys advice he would immediate run amok and kill Bones.

And Jesus H. Why is the Doctor on the bridge all the god damned time? Bones? Maybe you should look in your patients in your own frigg'n sick bay for once. Doesn't you have urine samples to test or something?
posted by tkchrist at 3:16 PM on February 22, 2008 [6 favorites]


"look in on..."

And.

"Don't you have"...

heh.
posted by tkchrist at 3:19 PM on February 22, 2008


You know, I often sit around thinking that I really need to watch "Spock's Brain" again.
posted by dhartung at 3:22 PM on February 22, 2008 [2 favorites]


This black square slightly to the left of center-screen is less entertaining than I had hoped.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:28 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]


Addition: What framerate are these videos running at? 15 FPS? The quality is okay, but it's choppy as hell on my 2.16ghz macbook running firefox. Is it just because Flash sucks ass on mac OS?

*Giant sigh*

Yes indeed, I'm getting that too on good old IE and a fast cable connection. It looks worse than the frame rate of old 8mm film, so 15FPS sounds about right. They have taken one of the great TV shows of all time and made it unwatchable. I'll stick to my old DVD's.

Are there really people who can't tell this compression algorithm sucks green donkey dick?
posted by Tube at 3:50 PM on February 22, 2008


'course, it doesn't work in Safari. Come on, people.

Er -- I'm using Safari and it works fine.
posted by jdroth at 3:56 PM on February 22, 2008


It would appear that these aren't the fancy new versions? Still, neat!

Ah good, here is my opportunity to publically rail against these "new"versions with their "improved" special effects. Why is this necessary? I recently caught one of these abominations on late-night, and I declare it weird and unsettling to go from plastic-box-with-blinkie-lights technology, to some rendered fancy exterior shot of the ship. I demand that you preserve my beloved hokey effects of yore intact! Why can we not keep to the old ways? Grumble grumble, get off my tinfoil space lawn, etc.
posted by hilatron at 4:32 PM on February 22, 2008 [3 favorites]


I'm on OS X, using BonEcho/Firefox and it works brilliantly.
Who doesn't love a good salt vampire?
posted by willmize at 4:34 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]


(However, thanks for the links! They are indeed neat.)
posted by hilatron at 4:35 PM on February 22, 2008


I've been watching these since that fancast FPP, while building my new computer.
so many good episodes. It's amazing to see some of the outfits they put on the ladies.
DAMN!
posted by Busithoth at 4:41 PM on February 22, 2008


It runs...uh...okay on Firefox, after my initial misgivings. The episode I was watching ("Mirror, Mirror," because come ON) played kinda herky-jerky for about the first ten minutes, with slight pauses here and there, then played pretty well until the last ten minutes, when it started getting all starty-stoppy again. The only thing that really sucked was that my connection dropped out at one point, which seemed to totally fuck everything up when I came back online; mind you, this is free, but if they're gonna do it at all, they might be wise to adopt Netflix's model and come up with a player that starts where you left off should you close out. So I guess it's an A+ for intent and a C- for execution. I expect it'll get better as it goes along.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:50 PM on February 22, 2008


"The fight choreography was terrible. I mean REALLY terrible."

I think that was by design. I understand Roddenberry (who was a cop) didn’t want to show any real fight moves people could use. I’m not saying that I share that opinion. Just what I’ve heard. Kind of a dick in other ways too I’ve heard. But hell, I like TOS, all star trek. I can’t get enough sci fi. DS9 is my fav. but debating which was better - meh.

I think the only fight scene I liked was where Kirk takes on Khan. And really only a small bit of that. Kirk is losing the fight until he pulls this... object... that I have absolutely no explanation for... out of the wall in engineering. I figure, it’s gotta be a belaying pin (dogging wrench, etc. etc), or at least their century’s version of it. Kirk’s a sailor so, y’know, naturally...
posted by Smedleyman at 5:01 PM on February 22, 2008


I think that was by design.

I've heard that, and also applied to Blake's Seven, which had, if anything, even worse fight scenes - though the 'double-fist to the back of the neck' seems to be a universal move in all future space martial arts.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:18 PM on February 22, 2008


Toupee tastic news
posted by A189Nut at 5:43 PM on February 22, 2008


I've heard that Straczynski originally pitched Babylon 5 to Paramount, and they nodded politely and turned him down. Then apparently, scurried off to do something they thought of ALL BY THEMSELVES, imaginatively titled "Deep Space Nine".

To me Deep Space Nine is pretty much what you'd get if a group of people who thought The Love Boat was the best television show ever made decided to produce a show based on a poorly-remembered and even more poorly understood pitch of Babylon 5.
posted by George_Spiggott at 5:44 PM on February 22, 2008 [2 favorites]


OMFG it has been at least a decade since I've seen City on the Edge of Forever. It is even better than I remembered.
posted by localroger at 5:44 PM on February 22, 2008


adamdschneider: "DS9 was OK, but it weren't no TOS or TNG, that's for sure."

That's right. It was better.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:52 PM on February 22, 2008


OMFG FAIL whoever put the episodes online didn't put the second part of CotEoF online.
posted by localroger at 6:00 PM on February 22, 2008


oh oh THANK YOU! I am a Star Trek dork from way back. I used to sleep with a poster of Kirk on my ceiling and Spock on my door. Sigh. And later I met Patrick Stewart when I worked the Northern CA Ren Faire and had to hyperventilate for about an hour (though I maintained while in his presence--he was dressed as Shakespeare and sat quietly reading under a tree).

I am bouncing about.

But it OS isn't the only one that matters. NextGen is a different kind of perfection.

And I'm so happy to see Astro Zombie 's site. I am a Shatner freak. I've even been thrown out of a convention for firing a phaser at him (a llong ong time ago and yes I do have a life and no I don't live in a basement or weigh 600 lbs).

And now I slink off to the TMI corner.
posted by pywacket at 6:07 PM on February 22, 2008


posted by tkchrist I love TOS so much. But one thing I just can't excuse. The fight choreography was terrible. I mean REALLY terrible.

But it has so many wonderful and unexpected surprises, like when Kirk's pants split open during the fight scene in The Savage Curtain!

Also, The Gamesters of Triskelion contains one of the best Kirk lines: "Stop! You're killing herrr!"

Five hundred quatloos on the newcomers!
posted by fandango_matt at 6:25 PM on February 22, 2008


It won't work at all in Firefox for me. Just a blank rectangle and "looking up ad.doubleclick.net" displayed in the status bar. (Cookies and all instances of javascript are allowed for the site.) It does work with IE7, with kittens for breakfast's results.
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 6:33 PM on February 22, 2008


And Jesus H. Why is the Doctor on the bridge all the god damned time? Bones? Maybe you should look in your patients in your own frigg'n sick bay for once. Doesn't you have urine samples to test or something?

For that matter, why does every away mission consist of the captain, the first-officer/science-officer, and the chief of medicine. Good thing they have all those red-shirted bodies to throw on top of the bomb.

I loved TOS. I still do. Still, I cringe these days at the music. Wow. So over the top. The music from the fight scene in Amok Time makes me laugh now. Long ago, it seemed to serious, even normal.
posted by tcv at 7:31 PM on February 22, 2008


I would take a bullet for Shatner and that is no lie.
posted by Dizzy at 7:38 PM on February 22, 2008


Kind of annoying that they are arranged by original air date instead of production date, which is standard for how the reruns are aired, and how the episodes are normally arranged in the reference materials.

Which, by the way, is why "The Cage" is not included--it wasn't aired back then, and clearly CBS is treating the original airing order as canonical for their purposes.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 8:06 PM on February 22, 2008


The episode I was watching ("Mirror, Mirror," because come ON)

I've always felt that TNG could have done so much with the "Mirror, Mirror" concept and just utterly failed to do more than half-heartedly bat at the bronze ring.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 8:34 PM on February 22, 2008


I quite liked the, um, Enterprise two parter where mirror universe Archer and his evil crew capture a TOS era Enterprise-class ship from the Tholians (the guys with the web) and go on a rampage, stopping occasioanly to murder each other and take over the empire. Yes, I know, impossibly nerdy, plus Enterprise is almost by defintion complete shit, but I have a soft spot for Mirror universe stuff.
posted by Artw at 9:31 PM on February 22, 2008


If you believe that, I bet your favorite Star Wars movie is The Phantom Menace.

I believe it and I think Phantom Menace stands among one of the worst films ever made and is definitely the worst of the awful Star Wars franchise, which is quite an accomplishment. Young Anakin is even worse then young Mr. Crusher. Worse, the word of the day.

Love Mirror, Mirror in the original, and the subsequent treatments in DS9, and Enterprise. My favourite TOS episode is easily Balance of Terror, one of the tightest written and directed episode of that particular series, and it shows in droves. I can't help but watch it when it's aired.

Lazarus and Landru are a different matter.

When do these come out in Blu-ray so we can shit on each other's opinions all over again? Or did I miss that?
posted by juiceCake at 11:12 PM on February 22, 2008


Thanks. I have most of these on Betamax tapes but my wheezy old player needs retracking about once every 5 minutes.
posted by ikkyu2 at 11:24 PM on February 22, 2008


This episode. 20:30 Kirk to Bones: "Stop thinking with your glands!" Kirk actually says this.
posted by wsg at 12:05 AM on February 23, 2008 [2 favorites]


I love the full orchestra on the soundtrack; Star Trek's music was always so damn good. When was the last time you heard bass clarinet on a TV show? We just don't have enough bass clarinet on TV these days.
posted by wsg at 12:12 AM on February 23, 2008


Season 3, Episode 11 @ 38:32 - The greatest Kirk moment of all time.
posted by Chuffy at 12:52 AM on February 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


This is fantastic.
posted by zennoshinjou at 4:51 AM on February 23, 2008


Come on Chuffy, let's go and get a drink.
posted by asok at 9:06 AM on February 23, 2008


Because I really needed something else to distract me from Real Work. Thanks a million.
posted by valkyryn at 2:05 PM on February 23, 2008


This episode's got the sweetest Kirk attack move, evar. (28:20)

Worthy of an animated GIF. More like a hyperactive child tantrum than hand to hand combat.

The best part is they just abruptly cut into this fight scene, without explanation.
posted by Busithoth at 3:22 PM on February 23, 2008


Why is a CBS site hosting an NBC show?
posted by Rash at 9:22 PM on February 23, 2008


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