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Jimmy's Fucking Ben Affleck
February 25, 2008 5:13 AM   Subscribe

Jimmy Kimmel's response to his girlfriend Sarah Silverman's reverse-ode "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" premiered on his post-Oscar broadcast. It's star-studded and just as hilarious. Enjoy, but remember, it's potentially NSFW audio!
posted by taumeson (86 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

 
That was bleeping annoying.
posted by Optamystic at 5:16 AM on February 25, 2008


This was already posted in an open thread, so I dunno if it flies on its own. It's funny, especially if you thought the original Silverman/Damon clip was funny.
posted by cgc373 at 5:22 AM on February 25, 2008


The basic concept is perfect, the scope is epic, but you'd think given the cast he scrounged up he could've gotten at least the production values of the Sarah/Matt video.

But that simply wasn't the case. Weird.
posted by Ryvar at 5:24 AM on February 25, 2008


In context, the first was heh-heh verging on Hah!. The second one though was pure, "Oh. Wow, get a load of that. That's not funny at all."

In fact, at the same time that I was watching the second video (someone sent me the link earlier this morning) I had to go put some coins in the parking meter. Actually, I didn't have to, but between watching whatever that was and wasting a half-an-hour of metered parking by refreshing the meter early, it was no contest.
posted by From Bklyn at 5:35 AM on February 25, 2008


This post was flagged for the following reason: [Redacted]
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:36 AM on February 25, 2008


Was that Harrison Ford?
posted by moonbiter at 5:47 AM on February 25, 2008


I agree the production value was not as good but Josh Groban did make me chuckle. That was unexpected.
posted by pearlybob at 5:48 AM on February 25, 2008


it's potentially NSFW audio!

If you happen to work somewhere that finds bleeps offensive, I suppose.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:59 AM on February 25, 2008


ROFLMAO!

White people like Sarah Silverman, and I'm white, so this was pretty great.
posted by mosch at 6:03 AM on February 25, 2008


It's like the most expensive LOLGAYZ clip ever.
posted by fungible at 6:21 AM on February 25, 2008


Well, given the response, added in to my own festering annoyance with Jimmy Kimmel's existence, I think I'll skip this one.
posted by delmoi at 6:33 AM on February 25, 2008


Why are people surprised about the unfunny? It's Jimmy Kimmel. The highlight of his career was the periods when he was quietly listening to Dr Drew.

Heh, while looking for a link to that I realized I'm thinking of Adam Carolla. I guess Kimmel doesn't have a highlight.
posted by DU at 6:38 AM on February 25, 2008


I thought the original was funnier.
posted by Afroblanco at 6:46 AM on February 25, 2008


It's funny because he's doing to Ben Affleck what Ben Affleck has been doing to art for 15 years. Hat tip to Woody Allen.
posted by allen.spaulding at 7:03 AM on February 25, 2008


Jimmy may be fucking Ben Affleck, but Gary Busey's raping Ben's wife...'s neck.
posted by awesomebrad at 7:04 AM on February 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


I heartily approve of the taking of jokes a) entirely too seriously and ii) entirely too far.
posted by Skorgu at 7:09 AM on February 25, 2008


I stopped watching when they rolled out Robin Williams
posted by KokuRyu at 7:14 AM on February 25, 2008 [3 favorites]


spare me.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 7:14 AM on February 25, 2008



Dickey Barrett?

Srsly?
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 7:25 AM on February 25, 2008


I shared a stick of gum with Tom Selleck once.
Such soft, soft hands.
posted by Dizzy at 7:25 AM on February 25, 2008 [4 favorites]


The Josh Groban appearance was pretty funny.
posted by EarBucket at 7:53 AM on February 25, 2008


Was that Huey Lewis? wow.

Anyways, I too approve of taking revenge jokes way too far and way too seriously.
posted by oddman at 8:13 AM on February 25, 2008


That was absolutely brilliant.

The die was cast with the initial Sara Silverman piece. She scored huge points with the whole shock value of using the word fuck, but then she really added a layer on top of that by claiming to be sleeping with a much more popular and attractive man than Kimmel. And to top all that off, she ups the funny quotient by doing it in song and also being a parody of different music styles and videos styles. It worked on five or six levels.

So how could Kimmel top that? He did a song. He parodied a different musical/video style. He went for language-based shock value. But that is all similar to what she did. So he ups the ante by pulling out a few celebrities. That helped, and that was new. So far the idea sounds pretty good. But Kimmel had the ultimate ace up his sleeve to stretch the funny into the stratosphere: he would pretend to be gay! What could be more funny than that? Does a more clever comedic device exist on this planet than having a straight man pretend to be gay? Of course not! Kimmel has come up with the ultimate stroke of comedic brilliance!

Knowing that Kimmel possesses unmatched masculinity, it only makes the concept that much more absurd and takes the joke that much further. And where Kimmel takes it from there is just pure genius. It all moves so fast so it is hard to catch all the jokes. But did you hear the reference to the two of them having sex like they are in prison? That one made me just nod my head in glowing admiration. Straight men commonly rape each other in prison! Since Kimmel is obviously so straight and masculine, it is the perfect comedic metaphor! Then Kimmel peppers the piece with a litany of jokes about how funny it is for two men to have sex together! Are you kidding me? Awesome!

Kimmel hits a home run with this one. I would mark this post as a favorite if I didn't think that the whole idea of a favorite button on here was so gay.
posted by flarbuse at 8:33 AM on February 25, 2008 [40 favorites]


BEEP BEEP
posted by boo_radley at 8:45 AM on February 25, 2008


He is also suggesting Matt Damon is gay in that he's taking Matt's lover. Still, you can tell a comic has run out of ideas when he uses the Hah! You're gay move.
posted by jeblis at 8:47 AM on February 25, 2008


Okay, flarbuse wins. You cheat on me with hot guy so I'll cheat on you with hotter guy is a pretty hack construction. Didn't Letterman do my gay summer retrospective with Steve Martin a few years ago?

What would have been funnier?

"I'm fucking a first-grader!", "I'm fucking a puppy!", "I'm fucking your daddy!" That's precisely the kind of lowest common denominator, FCC-fine inducing comedy people expect from late night.
posted by Pastabagel at 8:51 AM on February 25, 2008


Or, on second thought how about:

"We're both fucking the audience!"
posted by Pastabagel at 8:52 AM on February 25, 2008


Oh come on, Harrison Ford blowing that kiss was worth the whole gay thing.
posted by dawson at 9:06 AM on February 25, 2008


I think an "I'm fucking Sarah" would have been even funnier. But, then again maybe it's just mean to remind her of that in public.
posted by oddman at 9:08 AM on February 25, 2008 [2 favorites]


This is more enjoyable if you let the whole thing load, then skip to 2:00 where the actual content starts. But please, couldn't they release this with the actual word "fuck" in it and not that offensive sine wave beep?

Props to gay Harrison Ford in the convertible around 05:25.
posted by Nelson at 9:12 AM on February 25, 2008


Wait, was something supposed to be funny? I am so tired of these one trick attention whores.
posted by cytherea at 9:18 AM on February 25, 2008


What would have been funnier?

I'm fist-fucking the Chancellor of the Exchequer
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:32 AM on February 25, 2008 [5 favorites]


You cheat on me with hot guy so I'll cheat on you with hotter guy
I think you're missing the point. Damon and Affleck are long time buddies, stretching back to when Matt Damon was 10 years old and Affleck was 8. The joke isn't that Kimmel's gay, it's that Damon obviously is due to his long term, close friendship with Ben. To get his revenge, Jimmy steals Matt's SO. It has nothing to do with a "hotter guy".
posted by Crash at 9:40 AM on February 25, 2008 [2 favorites]


You cheat on me with hot guy so I'll cheat on you with hotter guy
I think you're missing the point

You both missed the point. First, pastabagel thinks Affleck is hotter than Damon? That's totally gay. Then, Crash, you missed the opportunity to bag on pastabagel for thinking Affleck's hotter than Damon. That's tripledoubleprisonfudgepack gay.

Comedy is hard. Heh heh, I said ... "hard".
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:51 AM on February 25, 2008


MetaFilter looks on and ****'s a plate of beans.
posted by hermitosis at 9:57 AM on February 25, 2008


Is it weird that watching those two clips provoked in me an overwhelming desire to read a book?
posted by willie11 at 10:08 AM on February 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


I am SO glad someone linked to the Busey Oscar clip because I'd heard a hint of it but didn't know what they were talking about.

I was laughing because I TOTALLY felt Jennifer Garner's panic. Meeting him was the hands-down scariest moment during my job at the House of Blues. Let's just say Gary Busey + cocaine + a harmonica = OH MY GOD HOW CAN I ESCAPE THIS ROOM BEFORE THAT MAN TRIES TO EAT MY FACE.

Don't ever look into Gary Busey's eyes. Seriously. Just don't.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:18 AM on February 25, 2008 [3 favorites]


And yeah, Damon's WAY hotter than Affleck. Quadruple duh.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:21 AM on February 25, 2008


Knowing that Matt Damon is recently married, I thought it especially funny that Jimmy went after Matt Damon's longtime best friend Ben instead of his wife. And though the production values weren't that great, the sheer number of celebrities (including Harrison Ford and Josh Groban) that Jimmy got to go along with the gag had me laughing.

But then, there aren't any pics of Sarah Silverman in a low-cut top for the boyzone, so I'm not surprised it's getting a less-than-warm reception here.
posted by misha at 10:24 AM on February 25, 2008


Knowing that Matt Damon is recently married...

He got married in 2005 (and has a daughter and step-daughter).
posted by ericb at 10:45 AM on February 25, 2008


The only thing I find myself consistently jaded about are jaded internet people.

We're all very impressed that you arent impressed. Thanks for keeping us up to date on your pretensions.

Not that this particular video is any kind of litmus test for one's sense of humor, but the style of response is really telling. Humorless people are usually the ones responding with 3rd-generation copy "dry" faux witticisms. Can we hear the story of how you dont even own a television again?

Sometimes I think some of you are basically this guy: clicky

Again, have no problem with anyone not finding this video funny (and there is definitely a worthy discussion to be had over the LOLGHEY thing), I just have a problem with all the flaccid snark. That shit is so far past its Sell By date and not worthy of the keystrokes wasted to enter it.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 10:50 AM on February 25, 2008 [8 favorites]


Expected, but still funny.

Here's the missing scene: Jimmy going down on Ben's Oscar statue.
posted by ColdChef at 10:56 AM on February 25, 2008


Sometimes I think some of you are basically this guy:

"I call him JAMES Kimmel because Jimmy is a nickname and nicknames are for friends and Kimmel is NO FRIEND OF MINE!"
posted by jonson at 11:02 AM on February 25, 2008 [8 favorites]


Flaccid snark? Why, I resemble that remark! wait. oh, shit!
posted by From Bklyn at 11:07 AM on February 25, 2008


I agree the production value was not as good but Josh Groban did make me chuckle.

This was the only redeeming quality.
posted by spiderskull at 11:32 AM on February 25, 2008


I mean this in all sincerity:

I am grateful that the Interweb and Youtube have made it possible for me to see all the funny stuff from late night talk shows without having to actually watch the shows or commercials. Seriously, these are funny things and I am glad that I got to see them.

I'm just as glad that I could invest five minutes watching them instead of having to spend an hour a night watching the show hoping and praying for three minutes of funny.

Yay Interweb!
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:33 AM on February 25, 2008 [3 favorites]


I thought it was pretty amusing. Can't win em all, I guess.
posted by nightchrome at 11:43 AM on February 25, 2008


"The only thing I find myself consistently jaded about are jaded internet people."
posted by Senor Cardgage

Hmm, I think you're confused. This here is Metafilter. This is where jaded internet people coalesce & collapse into critical cynical mass.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 11:47 AM on February 25, 2008 [2 favorites]


It seems unintuitive that something superfluous like art can have an evolutionary explanation, but in fact it is its very superfluousness that (in part) justifies its existence. A male peacock expends an enormous amount of energy displaying a ridiculous and useless tail, but ironically the message it sends is that he is so powerful and healthy that he can afford the loss without sweat. Similarly, hanging garish decoration on your wall shows that you can spend large amounts of money on objects that have no practical value, alerting potential mates that if you can do something so silly and wasteful with your wealth, you must have it to spare.

These videos are funny, but there is something gross about celebrities participating so exuberantly in a satire of themselves, and I think the reason is related to this evolutionary reason for art. What Damon and Affleck are actually saying is that their well of cool, power and appeal is so deep that they can publicly humiliate themselves and still have a surplus. It's actually more arrogant than if they took themselves too seriously to participate in such a thing.
posted by broodle at 11:51 AM on February 25, 2008 [2 favorites]


I'm fucking Matt Haughey.
posted by ed at 12:00 PM on February 25, 2008 [2 favorites]


In Soviet Metafilter, Matt Haughey fucks you.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 12:02 PM on February 25, 2008


That's that bean-plate thing, isn't it broodle? Although, to play along, as has been noted by ericb and—in passing—by awesomebrad, both Damon and Affleck are in committed relationships, which would supposedly exempt them from the evolutionarily-imposed demand of procuring mates, right? They're out of that market now. So how does their willingness to make fun of themselves by participating in Kimmel and Silverman's extended skit correlate with any kind of mating behavior? Are Damon and Affleck trolling for mates via public infidelity?
posted by cgc373 at 12:05 PM on February 25, 2008


Late Night Clip... Matt Damon... fuck it, I'm all in:

Matt Damon Does Matthew McConaughey

Not to get all celebrity filter, but as a viewer I do appreciate Matt Damon's genuine sense of humor in reacting to the zaney world he finds himself in.
posted by cavalier at 12:07 PM on February 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


> cynical mass

Isn't that the monthly bike-ride where jaded nobodies with post-grad degrees bike around, snarking at people?
posted by Artful Codger at 12:18 PM on February 25, 2008 [2 favorites]


I had to look up 'beanplate.' What a great term! Yeah, totally. I really like Sarah Silverman, which is why I found it odd that these videos, while making me laugh, left a mysterious bad taste, and that was one explanation. Another might be: making fun of celebrities is the consolation for not being one. It's not fair, then, to watch someone both be a cake, and eat themselves.

To the second point - I'm not a biologist and this all oversimplifies things in the extreme, but evolutionary drives I think are generally 'ballistic.' They push us in a direction but they don't necessarily offer a change of instructions once a goal is met. Your goldfish will eat itself to death so long as the food keeps coming, and I imagine Jennifer Garner still puts on lipstick when she and Ben go out for their thursday nights at Olive Garden.
posted by broodle at 12:44 PM on February 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


I found it amusing.


And dance-able!
posted by tkchrist at 1:19 PM on February 25, 2008


Silverman had a better song. Shrug.
posted by rokusan at 2:54 PM on February 25, 2008


Man... I've been here for years. Lurking even for about 3 years or so before I even joined. And yet... I still find myself thinking, on occasion, Jesus, what a bunch of humorless cranks.

Then again, I'm guilty of it as well. Nice to meetcha, Mr. Kettle.
posted by kaseijin at 3:14 PM on February 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


Feels like a ripoff of Eurotrip's Scotty doesn't know
posted by jmd82 at 3:16 PM on February 25, 2008


I clicked on that link all ready to jump back into the blue with a fistful of snark as soon as it was over. But then, I saw Josh Groban and Harrison Ford sing "I'm fucking Ben Affleck!"
Bravo, Jimmy Kimmel, Bravo.
posted by KingoftheWhales at 3:17 PM on February 25, 2008


Kimmel's unnecessary censorship gags were quite funny for awhile, especially the ones that featured Bush administration officials.
posted by Ber at 3:22 PM on February 25, 2008


"dedicated to the memory of norman mailer"


???
posted by CitizenD at 3:38 PM on February 25, 2008


I can just hear all the "stars'" agents calling them up and asking them to be part of this. "You don't want to miss out on this one, baby. It's not just capital F funny. It's hip. It's edgy."
posted by Devils Slide at 4:02 PM on February 25, 2008


These videos are made for internet snark. They are made by internet snark.

The "peacock's tail" theory doesn't go far enough. Yes, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are so cool they can grope Jimmy Kimmel's manboobs with impunity, but where is the role of the snarky critic in this picture?

Would the male peacock have evolved without the female peacock snarking, "Yes, that superfluous plumage will handicap you enough--but your butt-feathers could use some shimmering irridescent turquoise and azure..."

For a proper appreciation of the fucking of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, one must look to the postmodern analyses of the 90s, fully recognizing that in late capitalism the barrier between cultural icon and snarking audience has finally crumbled. Can there be any doubt that T.S. Eliot's "Last Syllable of Recorded Time" was the "fuck" at 0:08 into this YouTube video?

This second video, a "response" video to "I'm fucking Matt Damon" builds upon its template like Joyce's Ulysses commenting on Homer's Odyssey. Just as Homer's Circe through "metempsychosis" becomes the proprietress of a Dublin bordello, so does Sarah Silverman grow a penis, become Jimmy Kimmel (while retaining "dem apples"), and fuck Ben Affleck while a rapt Robin Williams, after building a bland career on a solid foundation of dick jokes, finally ejaculates Poland Spring out of his mouth. (Or was that onto his mouth?)

Can it be much longer before the long tail of the furry community spanks its monkey to the latest Obama LOLcats? Or, as they say in Soviet Russia, until the long-tailed furry monkey spanks YOU?

We live in a world of virtual snark orgies in which the only transmissions are viral videos. However, we still await the "killer app", the metaphorical anthrax, as it were, of meme sheepage.
posted by Schmucko at 4:07 PM on February 25, 2008


Hey, I loved it. I'm not about to overthink anything on the Blue, and have repeatedly expressed my complete disdain for those who think it's completely appropriate to comment about how lame a post is, or how they haven't seen Show X, or whatever ("Look how cool I am. I'm so cool, I dont know what you are talking about. But I'm quite certain it sucks and you suck for liking it. Aren't I awesome?"). I wish I had enough free time in my life to snark. You guys must be pretty wealthy to be sittin around telling others why what they like sucks. I barely have time to write this comment!

In my opinion, anytime a well-established actor can comfortably parody him or herself, I'm appreciative. There are far too many "stars" who go apoplectic at the idea of tarnishing their "image". And the culture in Hollywood isn't exactly supportive of doing so. I guarantee you wouldnt have seen Letterman or Leno do a video like that (you could spend days naming celebrities who are too afraid of looking gay). We should be applauding Kimmel, Damon, Affleck, et al. for not taking themselves too seriously and doing so on a major network. Its a rare quality in the media.

I found it hilarious. Harrison Ford stole the whole damn thing too.
posted by Dantien at 4:24 PM on February 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


Dantien, you might want to take a look at Dave and Steve's Gay Vacation.
posted by cgc373 at 4:30 PM on February 25, 2008


Not one of those people is funny.

A running gag where you talk about Matt Damon on your show every day. Not funny.

A female comic who spoofs others' works or acts like a semi-retarded teenage girl. Not funny.

An "I'm fucking your ex-girlfriend" video. Not funny.

A "hey, you and Ben Afleck are gay" video. Not funny.

There is absolutely no creativity here, and I'm really, really sick of hearing about this stupid meme.
posted by zekinskia at 4:50 PM on February 25, 2008


There is no universe where anything that is the brainchild of Jimmy Kimmel can be legitimately permitted to reside in the same train of thought as the word funny unless funny is preceded with "painfully un-".
posted by Dreama at 5:17 PM on February 25, 2008


Man, a lot of you people need to chill the fuck out.
posted by nightchrome at 5:22 PM on February 25, 2008 [8 favorites]


Oh, dear. Just ... just ... er, no.

(A) Having the song filled with beeps kills any humor. (B) Cameron Diaz is the Ted McGinley of humorous skits. (C) Having dialogue-style lyrics sucks as well. (D) I don't write humor for a living. These people don't know A, B, and C?!
posted by WCityMike at 5:55 PM on February 25, 2008


"(A) Having the song filled with beeps kills any humor. (C) Having dialogue-style lyrics sucks as well."

Wrong on both counts.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 5:58 PM on February 25, 2008


Hey, at last we got to see the Julian Clary clip.
posted by fullerine at 6:24 PM on February 25, 2008


I pronounce it meh. Sarah had a better song, and Matt is funnier than Ben.
posted by desuetude at 6:25 PM on February 25, 2008


Maybe if he'd started it off when "I'm fucking Ben Affleck", then transitioned to, "...and I'm also fucking Brad Pitt", then tacked on "I'm also fucking Harrison Ford,"--that might work. But just getting a bunch of people to agree that, indeed, he's fucking Ben Affleck? Eh. I don't understand why that's funny.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:29 PM on February 25, 2008


Kimmel hits a home run with this one. I would mark this post as a favorite if I didn't think that the whole idea of a favorite button on here was so gay.

Beautifully summed up. Incidentally, it might have had a chance at funny if he'd...oh, wait, it's Jimmy Kimmel. My kids are funnier than Jimmy Kimmel*, and they're not even three yet.

*based entirely on the fact that he and Ms. Silverman dined at the same restaurant as my family last week, and my kids made me laugh several times, whereas Mr. Kimmel did not.
posted by davejay at 6:40 PM on February 25, 2008


also worth noting: another woman was there with her child, who had an, uh, accident, and after carting her son to the bathroom ended up bursting out of the bathroom with a soiled, naked child, running through the entire restaurant, and out the front door (poor woman!) -- she ran right by the Kimmel table, and did he so much as humiliate her with a one-liner? He did not. However, neither did my children. The score is 0-0 on that one.
posted by davejay at 6:42 PM on February 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


Eh, I chortled.
posted by darkstar at 9:31 PM on February 25, 2008


Ben Stein could have pulled this off.
posted by washburn at 11:22 PM on February 25, 2008


You know what's funny? People telling other people what's funny (or not).
posted by moonbiter at 1:09 AM on February 26, 2008


Not funny, moonbiter. Not funny at all. If you're going to go meta, you have to bring in culturally-approved reinforcement from published sources, otherwise you're opining on your own merits, which is tantamount to asking us—them—whomever—to take you down. It's like turning yourself into chum and pouring yourself into an ocean thronged with sharks.
posted by cgc373 at 2:17 AM on February 26, 2008


PERCEPTIONS OF OFFENSIVE HUMOR
Consistent with previous research, these data suggest that when people judge a joke’s funniness, they engage in a cognitive task that is susceptible to a cognitively-based manipulation. In contrast, ratings of offensiveness do not appear susceptible to cognitive manipulation. Responses involving offensiveness may involve either an emotional component that is not susceptible to a cognitive manipulation or an internal standard regarding offensiveness that is not very malleable. There may be a social context that drives perceptions of offensiveness.
posted by ColdChef at 5:06 AM on February 26, 2008


Ah, ColdChef, I see. Perhaps the paper helps to explain why racist questions are allowed on netatalk.
posted by cgc373 at 7:57 AM on February 26, 2008


Elizabeth Banks is Fucking Seth Rogen

Uh, no bleeps.
posted by Justinian at 9:59 AM on February 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


This stuff turns around fast nowadays, huh?
posted by cgc373 at 10:58 AM on February 26, 2008


Thanks for that link Justinian it has almost made it worth me having watched the awful Jimmy Kimmel thing now.
posted by electricinca at 11:33 AM on February 26, 2008


Personally, I'm just happy people are taking the time out of their busy days to fuck other people.
posted by miss lynnster at 3:23 PM on February 26, 2008


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