Seems like everyone is ****ing around

February 25, 2008 8:41 AM

There seems to be a lot of bleeping going on lately. But now it's time, with the help of our friend Count von Count Bleep (wikipedia), to bleep the number of times you can have a laugh with the bleeping bleeps. Start here and then go on: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5; And more bleeping fun with Ernie, Bert, Oscar, and the Cookie Monster: 1, 2, 3, 4.

Of course there have been lots of posts about Sesame Street and the Muppets on MeFi previously.

For the serious side of the absurdity of censorship you can always start by taking a look at some of these links.

posted by omegar (20 comments total)

He ****s the spiders on the wall and the cobwebs down the hall? Dude needs to chill.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:56 AM on February 25, 2008

I like Kimmel's work in this area.
posted by MrMoonPie at 9:09 AM on February 25, 2008

Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice bleeping.
posted by Brocktoon at 9:32 AM on February 25, 2008

I knew I should have posted this when I found it. Damn you, general sense of inadequacy!

Also, the Count one made me laugh so hard when I first saw it that I tooted.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 9:39 AM on February 25, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

LOOK! A WAITRESS WITH MY CHECK! I'LL BLEEP THE FLOWERS AROUND HER NECK!
posted by lubujackson at 9:49 AM on February 25, 2008

I'm in [bleep]ing backward heaven!

Wait a second...how is the Count on a tropical vacation? Aren't vampires supposed to hate sunlight?
posted by Hugonaut at 10:05 AM on February 25, 2008

Batman, Flinstones, Johnny Quest, Scooby Doo, Batman, etc...
posted by dgaicun at 10:05 AM on February 25, 2008

Yeah, that's a bleeping dead alien body if I ever bleeping saw one.
posted by chuq at 11:06 AM on February 25, 2008

I was watching TV the other night, and there was a reality show in which a guy was learning how to groom pets, and this involved shaving a dog's asshole. The fact that a dog's asshole was being shaved was frankly and humorously discussed by the participants. And yet, the actual asshole of the dog was blurred.

This, I just do not understand.
posted by bookish at 11:21 AM on February 25, 2008

Ask yourself this question: Who exactly wants to see a dog's asshole? I am opposed to all forms of censorship for humans. Animals, however, they can wear pants on TV and radio thank you.
posted by user92371 at 11:30 AM on February 25, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I'm pretty sure a few of these *are* from Kimmel's show, and the rest are (even more) mediocre copycats.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:34 AM on February 25, 2008

And yet, the actual asshole of the dog was blurred.

Yeah, I saw a show that actually pixelated a 1 year old infant's penis! Censoring something can sometimes result in the opposite of what it is trying to accomplish: creating perversion or sexuality where there was none before. The penis on the statue of David is anatomy, but put a black bar on it, and you've officially added Spicy Man Cock. Congrats there, Comstock Mapplethorpe, you've just redefined the statue to the viewer.

So, yeah, blurring a dog's anus: creeeepy.
posted by dgaicun at 11:43 AM on February 25, 2008 [4 favorites has favorites]

Ask yourself this question: Who exactly wants to see a dog's asshole?

Well, just to clarify: it's not like the camera was all up in the dog's anus. It wouldn't have been very graphic had they foregone the blur. I would have stopped thinking about it by now, but instead I'm stuck on the oddness of that gesture.

So yes, to echo dgaicun: Congratulations for making me think way too much about a dog's asshole.
posted by bookish at 12:09 PM on February 25, 2008

Oh wow, good call: the implication being that somebody thought a dog's asshole was too sexually *hawt* for teevee. Nice.
posted by LordSludge at 12:42 PM on February 25, 2008

Man, the Count terrified me when I was a little kid. I had recurring nightmares about him. Who decided a creepy vampire muppet was a good thing to show to small children? The dark ambient lighting, his voice... total nightmare fuel.
posted by DecemberBoy at 2:18 PM on February 25, 2008

Who decided a creepy vampire muppet was a good thing to show to small children?

Probably the same people who thought it was a good idea to show children that it's fun to play in back alleys and garbage piles.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:16 PM on February 25, 2008

Nifty.

“Censoring something can sometimes result in the opposite of what it is trying to accomplish”

Kept thinking that m’self with Ashcroft and the spirit of justice statue.
Never even occured to me that a breast in that context could be sexualized. Apparently Ashcroft feared the snickers of 13 year old boys.

Yeah, someone should stake the Count. Undead bastard. Blood could froth from his mouth as the stake is forced into his heart and he could spit vile hate and bile as he swears vengence from Hell.
And what's with all the "monsters"?
posted by Smedleyman at 3:50 PM on February 25, 2008

Too many mother –ukers, -ucking with my shi-!
posted by Faux Real at 5:28 PM on February 25, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Also, the Count one made me laugh so hard when I first saw it that I tooted.

Man, the Count terrified me when I was a little kid.

Back in the day, in a college theater class, the instructor decided to have everyone in the room perform an improvisational piece as various characters from a well-known gothic novel. For some inexplicable reason (he said our talent, but I'll go out on a limb and say it was because our class population slightly outnumbered the novel's) he decided to pair me with an attractive young woman as "the Count and Countess", two characters not found in the novel at all.

I elected to give it my all, and when another character interacted with me during our "arrival at the castle", I did my best Sesame Street Count impersonation:

"Thank you for inviting me! Such a beau-tiful castle, and one, two, three lovely chandeliers! Ah ah ah."

It seemed like a safer bet than a cameo appearance by Edmond Dantès, given that it was a community college, but nobody got the reference at all. The whole room paused, looked at me like I was insane, then went on as if I'd said nothing. The Countess and I quickly hurried off into a corner to improvise drinking whatever it is people drink at parties in gothic novels.

Then again, it wasn't a particularly enlightened class: later in the year, the instructor had everyone play two-person scenes, which the rest of the class would critique via anonymous notes. I played an aging drag queen in our scene, and some of the notes suggested in some way or another that because I played the part so well I must actually be a gay man. A few suggested I should have my grade lowered because of this "fact", as it gave me an unfair advantage. Funny how I didn't get similar notes when I had played a fourteen-year-old a few weeks prior.

Simple-minded ****ers.
posted by davejay at 6:31 PM on February 25, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Hit me on my Bleeper
posted by shoepal at 8:08 PM on February 25, 2008